Three Hearts One Soul (The Soul Series #1) (13 page)

“Nevaeh,” Katie begins. “Can we talk?”

“So you can accuse me of shortening your son’s life again?” I murmur, while I might have acted childish, it doesn’t take away from the fact that Katie was also wrong.

“No, so I can tell you that I’m sorry. My boy is dying and I took it out on you. I know he wanted that, he told me last night that he asked for it and it was what he wanted. You were right, you were here when we weren’t and for that I’m forever grateful to you. You haven’t shortened his lifespan, Nevaeh, you’ve kept him going.”

I turn to face her and my eyes fill with painful tears. “I love him Katie, I would never hurt him. I feel so…”

“No,” she cuts in. “Don’t feel
guiltly. You gave him something he wanted, and it made him happy. He loves you, who am I to take that away from him? I was out of line. I was looking for someone to blame.”

“Is he ok?” I whisper.

“He’s on oxygen, and they want him to stay at the hospital, but he’s ok.”

“He didn’t even get one night at home,” I say in a strangled tone. “Not one.”

“It’s the best place for him to be Nevaeh, he needs the care.”

“He should be able to die where he wants, not where we want,” I yell, feeling my frustration get the better of me once again.

Katie nods and touches her chest where her heart is. I know how much she’s hurting, I couldn’t imagine losing a child. Before we speak anymore, Whiskey comes charging into the house again. He storms into the kitchen, grips my arm and snarls. “Come with me.”

“Nice to see you too, Jarrod,” John mumbles.

“Not now dad, fuck.”

Whiskey pulls me down the hall and into my room,
then he slams the door and turns to me. His face is full of wild rage and he’s panting. Well, excuse me. I am quite over Whiskey’s mood swings.

“Show me those emails,” he barks.

I raise my brows. “Is there a please in there?”

“Don’t fuck with me, Nevaeh.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Whiskey.”

I cross my arms and his eyes widen.

“You’re not seriously going to make me say please, are you?”

“Yes, I am,” I say, titling my head to the side and raising my brows.

“Well I won’t, so show me or I’ll use force to make you.”

I snort a laugh. Or I’ll use force. Honestly? “Really, you’re going to force me?”

He lurches forward, catching me in his arms. Before I know it, he spins me around and crushes my back to his chest. He’s so strong, I never realized how strong until now. He pins my arms by my sides and shoves me forward towards my laptop sitting at my desk. When he reaches it, he leans down, opens it and turns it on. When the password comes up, he barks. “Type it in.”

“No,” I say, my voice full of determination.

He squeezes me tighter and I whimper as the pressure becomes too much. I guess in a way, this is my little test. The Whiskey I know and love, would never hurt me. It’s a huge risk, but I want to see if he will now. It will answer so many of my questions.

“Type it Nevaeh,” he barks.

“I said no.”

He leans down and bites my shoulder. I squeal and swear at him.

“Type it.”

“Say please,” I grate out, feeling the burning pain in my shoulder spreading.

“No, type it.”

“No.”

He hurls me backwards, spinning me so quickly my head does a dizzy dance. He slams my back against the wall and puts his hands either side of my head, leaning in close. I can smell him and oh, even through my anger, it’s a good smell.

“Why are you testing me
, Nevaeh? What sort of game do you think you’re going to play with me, huh? Did you not hear me last night? Did you not understand when I said you mean fuck all to me? I don’t want to hurt you, and I know you’re pushing to see if the old me is in there but he’s not. You don’t know me now. You have no idea what I’m capable of. Do as I fucking ask, because I will hurt you if you don’t.”

His words burn, they burn and yet my body still wants to jerk to life and press against him, because oh, I want him so badly. However, he will soon learn I’m not a little pushover anymore. As much as I don’t want to, I make my next move count. I jerk my knee up, hitting him right in the groin. Roaring, he stumbles backwards and
lands on his ass. I stalk over and loom over him, hurt that he’s hurting, but not showing it.

“You
wanna hurt me Whiskey, fine, hurt me but I will not just do as you ask because you threaten me. You can go to hell.”

I step over him, but he grips my ankle, jerking me so hard I stumble backwards and land with a thud on the floor. With an angry groan, he flips his body so he lands on top of me, pressing my body into the carpet. Oh Jesus, he’s meant to be in pain and yet he’s fully erect. I can feel him pressing into my core. Does violence turn him on now? It wouldn’t bloody surprise me.

“You kicked me in the fucking balls,” he rasps.

“You deserved it and I’m not going to be anyone’s push over, not even yours,” I whisper, staring at his lips. God, look away from them Nevaeh. You might as well scream that you want him.

He goes silent a moment and his eyes scan my face. “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”

“I have no reason to be afraid of you.”

“Don’t make me give you one sugar, I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want you in this world, I don’t want you to know me. I am not who you think you know. I don’t want to be in your life. I will leave as soon as Jase passes away and you will never see me again, of that I can promise you. So do me a favour and let me make sure I’m not leaving you in danger, please?”

I stare into his eyes and two things hit me at once. One is that Whiskey is still in there, somewhere, because he didn’t hurt me even though part of me truly believed he wanted to. Two, is that whatever Whiskey is caught up in is now controlling his life and for Jase’s sake, and my own, I’ll give him what he wants. I shove at his chest, and he moves off me, groaning in pain as he gets to his knees. I crawl towards the bed, yanking the laptop down. I quickly type in the password and slide it towards him. His eyes are still on my face, but I don’t meet them.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for, but you’re right, whatever was in the past is certainly not there now.”

I stand and walk out, shoving the urge to save Whiskey into a place that can’t be let back out. I can’t save him. I can’t…can
I?

Chapter 10

When I get into Jase’s hospital room, he’s in the bed with tubes coming out of his nose and drips in his hands. My eyes well up and when he opens his eyes and sees me standing pitifully at the door, he gives me a weak smile. I feel so awful for him, while the inner nurse in me knows this wasn’t my fault, that it would have happened eventually anyway, my heart is telling me other things. I can’t get the image of Jase coughing up blood to leave my mind.

“Come here baby,” he whispers, his voice barely recognizable. It’s a hoarse, crackly rasp.

I walk over to the bed and my tears roll down my cheeks. I don’t think I’ve cried so much in my life. Jase tugs my hand and I crawl into the bed with him, I rest my head on the pillow beside his and he turns, coughing a lot, so he can face me. His brown eyes search my face, and I try hard to ignore the bloodshot eyes and the way they are beginning to sink into his face. I don’t want to remember Jase like this. I want to remember the bubbly, lively boy that changed my life.

“Jump
Nev, or I’m going to make you,” Jase grins, his brown eyes twinkling.

“It’s too cold,” I cry, edging away from him as he begins stalking closer to me.

We’re at the pool out back of his house, and he’s trying to lure me in the water even though it’s the beginning of winter and it’s far too cold. He keeps trying to convince me that as soon as I’m in, the water will get warm. I just have to make the plunge. Sure Jase, make the plunge. Throw my body into ice cold water only to see if it gets warm after a few minutes. I bet it gets warm because my body turns numb. Well thought out Jase, well thought out.

“You chicken,” Jase teases, making little wings by tucking his hands up under his arms and flapping.

“Shut up Jase, you big bully.”

He grins and his two gorgeous dimples show as he dances closer, still flapping like a chicken. I giggle and shove at his chest, but before I can pull away he lashes out and grips my wrists.

“Jase, don’t you dare.”

“I’m going to Nev, I’m totally going to.”

His eyes are dancing with humor as he edges me towards the poo. I struggle and squeal as he scoops me up into his arms.

“Jase Levanox, I swear to god if you…”

He leaps into the pool. The ice cold water hits me like tiny knives as my skin burns. Damn you Jase, damn you. I come up screaming and shivering, cursing and swearing at him as he roars with laughter, his wet blonde hair sticks to his forehead, making him look utterly gut wrenching.

“I’m going to wring
your…”

Jase scoops me into his arms and presses his cold lips all over my face. My screams turn into giggles, how can I not laugh? He just has that
effect on me, he’s just so dammed addictive. His laugh, his smile, his beautiful, cheeky nature. He’s everything good that a person can be, all wrapped up in one, gorgeous package.

“You know I want to beat you, but you’re too dammed cute,” I shiver.

“I know, that’s why I get away with throwing you in pools.”

“A-a-asshole.”

He grins and holds me close. “Yeah, well, you love me.”

“Don’t I know
it.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jase whispers, snapping me from my thoughts and bringing me crashing back to reality. I turn my eyes towards his, and swallow the lump forming in my throat.

“I shouldn’t have let you do it, Jase…”

“Nev, it would have happened regardless. It could have been me walking into the kitchen that caused the coughing attack, I am dying,
I am breaking down. It’s not your fault.”

“Jase, won’t you please do the treatment, I’m not ready to lose you.”

“That’s not what I want, Nev. I’m tired. I can’t deal with this anymore, and I shouldn’t have to.”

“No,” I sob. “You shouldn’t.”

“It was beautiful for me, do you hear me? That moment last night, when I was inside you and we were moving together, I felt for the first time that maybe, just maybe, we shared a moment similar to the moment you and Whiskey shared all those years ago.”

“We did, Jase. That moment was beautiful for me.”

“Mum told me he’s back,” Jase says, letting his eyes scan my face.

I nod, swallowing. “He’s different Jase.”

“Yeah, I expected as much.”

“I think…he’s in trouble.”

Jase nods, closing his eyes. “Are you ok with him being back?”

“He’s…” I contemplate saying what an asshole Whiskey has been, but I can’t do that. I can’t let Jase think there’s tension between us. He doesn’t deserve that. “He’s been great.”

“Did you talk to him…about Amy?”

I feel my eyes widen. “No
Jase, and I don’t want to.”

“You have to tell him Nev, he deserves to know. He deserves to visit her grave.”

“Please Jase…”

He nods. “All right, it’s your choice and you’ve respected my choices so I’ll respect yours but I don’t think you should hide if forever.”

“Brother!”

We both turn to see Whiskey standing at the door. I don’t know how much of our conversation he heard, but as far as I can tell, he hasn’t heard any. His eyes are on
Jase and me, and for a moment I’m sure I see something flash across his face that isn’t the hard front of the man he’s pretending to be. Jase smiles, a huge, big, beautiful smile when he sees his brother. I kiss Jase’s cheek and slide out of the bed as Whiskey walks over, flicking his eyes to me for a second before turning them back to Jase.

“If you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes,” Whiskey teases, leaning down and lifting Jase into his arms and hugging him.

Jase chuckles. “You know me, I never do things in half measures.”

Whiskey pulls back and grips a chair, scooting it over and spinning it around so he’s sitting on it backwards. He leans over the back of it and stares down at Jase.

“You do realize Nev is in the room, Whiskey?” Jase murmurs.

Whiskey turns to me, and when our eyes meet my heart does a stupid backflip.

“Sugar,” he murmurs.

“Whiskey.”

“Is something wrong?” Jase asks, looking between the two of us.

Think of Jase. This isn’t about you Nevaeh. I plaster a smile onto my face and walk over to the bed, leaning over Whiskey to press my lips to Jase’s.

“Nothing is wrong. You two should catch up. I’m going to head out for a while, I’ll come back and see you later handsome, ok?”

Jase pulls me back down for another kiss and I can’t help but see Whiskey’s expression. His eyebrows knit together and he doesn’t move his eyes from mine, as
though they’re burning into me. I close mine quickly, unable to see how my kissing Jase might affect him. I don’t let Jase get too carried away, I give him a soft kiss and pull back. I place my hand on his bald head and rub.