Three Thousand Miles (2 page)

“
W
hat if I can’t do it?”

“Then don’t worry it’s your first time trying so don’t be too disappointed if it doesn’t work the first time
.
” I look to her as I put my hands at either side of me. I push down on them and try to force my legs to lift me up. I feel pressure and pain coming from my abdomen
,
I do not want to fail
,
I want out of here as quickly as possible. I try this time with more power and I start to rise up and again the pain I have is excruciating but I look past the pain and
I stand fully up.

“Oh A
lanna
,
” my mom shouts as I stand there looking at her and the nurse.

“Now miss H
art do you think you can walk?” I nod to her and I start to put one foot in front of the other. I walk about half a step and I stop
.

“W
hat’s wrong?” Melissa says,

“It is sore when I try to move”

“Can you sit back down
,
I will get the pills”

“No
, I will stand if that’s ok?” S
he nods to me and gets me two little white pills and a small glass of water. I hand the glass back to her and again try to walk. I close my eyes slightly and
I
grit my teeth from the pain. I move slowly across the room and I turn and walk back.

“You are doing great miss,” Melissa says with a smile
.
I look over at her and my mom and at how they look so happy and at the same time, I feel so sad.

I manage to go the bathroom and brush my teeth Melissa helped me change into the new nightdress. She walks me back over to the bed and I climb in.

“Would you like some lunch?” she says
as she hands
me a menu
.

“Yes
,
that would be great
.
” I select some food and the nurse heads out of the room leaving me alone again with my mom.

“You did very well today A
lanna I am proud of you!” I smile at her
.

“Mom
how is
D
ad and Penelope
?
Have they been here?”

“Yes sweetie
,
but your dad is away on a business trip and your aunt Melanie has Penelope
.
They miss you and your father has called every day since he’s been away
.” S
he says proudly
.

“Where
has Dad gone this time?” M
y mom pauses before she answers
.

“Sweetie he is in London
,
” I gasp,
as
perhaps my dad knows where Adrian is
.

“Mom how long has he been away?”

“A few days
,
he won’t be back until Friday
.
”

“D
o you know who his meetings are with?”

“No darling
,
you know I don’t get into the business side of things
.” M
y mom really is no help
and
I need my phone
. I
f I cannot get Adrian to talk to me then maybe Michael will.

“Has Michael called lately?”

“No
,
he hasn’t I have not heard from him since he left this hospital
. Y
ou know I owe everything to him
.
”

“Y
es mom but do you know anything
about where Adrian might be?” S
he exhales and I can see she is getting a little annoyed.

“Alanna I have already told you I don’t know anything
. A
nyway
,
maybe it’s better this way
.
”

“Excuse me?”

“Maybe you should take this time to break free of him
,
” I cannot believe what she is saying she has no idea how much I love him.

“Mom I don’t want to break from him I love him and he feels the same way
,
I can’t be without him!”

“If he cares, the
n why isn’t he here with you?” S
he says in a very harsh tone. I am surprised at how she is acting I never thought that she would feel this way about Adrian.

“I can’t think of a reason why he is not here but I now there must be one or he would be
.
”

“A
lanna you can’t base your life around him you need to be who you are and you certainly don’t need him to define you
.
”

“B
ut I love him you don’t understand
!
”

“T
hen tell me how you feel
!
I know he is a stunning guy but please tell me there is more to him than that!”

“Yes there is more
:
I am not shallow it’s not just his looks
that
I see
!”

“
Then
what
do you see?”

“I see his kindness
and
his vulnerability
.
I see how he loves me and how I am the air that he breathes
.
He is the first person
that I have
met that does not care about material things
. H
e is not out to show off he is not that sort of person and I am completely besotted with him!” I fight back a tear as I think of his face
,
his glowing green eyes
,
his light chocolate hair
,
his smirk and the way he raises his thick dark eyebrows when he talks. The way he looks at me and calls me baby. “I don’t know what to say it seems that he wants to distance himself from you
. D
o you know why he would do that
?” Y
es, I know why
:
he feels guilty now that I have been hurt
and
he tried so hard to protect me but he could not
-
is what I want to say but instead
.

“The only thing I can think of is Michael
,” m
y mom again smiles at sound of Michael
’
s name
and
I think that maybe she has a little thing for him!

“Alanna it’s obvious that Michael cares for you, does Adrian know how Michael feels?”

“Y
es
,
he knows I have tried to explain to him that I love him and not Michael
. B
ut he always has doubts about everything he does and I feel that could be the only reason he has stayed away
.
”

“Adrian maybe feels jealous that it was Michael that took the bullet for you and not him
.
” I sit up further in the bed and my mind dashes full of thoughts about Adrian
.
W
hat if he thinks that I blame him for what happened
?
What if he thinks that I don’t want him here with me? I cannot
bear
this I need to contact him.

“M
om I know you want me to rest but I can assure you that I won’t do that until you give me my phone
.” She sighs as she
takes the closet key from her pocket
.
S
he stands up and walks over to the closet
,
she opens it and starts to pick through the clutter that is inside. Finally, she comes back over to me and in her hand; she has my iPhone and my white Blackberry
.
Before
she gives me them, she takes my hand.

“Alanna
,
if he doesn’t come back to you then he is not worth it
. P
romise me that if he doesn’t respond you will forget him and move on
.
” I want my phone so desperately that I agree to what she says.

“I have to go now
sweetie
,
is there anything I can bring you?”

“No
,
I am fine will you be back later?”

“Yes around five
,
” she kisses me on the forehead while she lifts her handbag from the table
. S
he walks over to the door and smiles back at me as she heads
out of the room.

When she is gone, I switch on the blackberry first and wait impatiently as it loads. When the screen comes on, I immediately check to see if there are any missed calls but there
are
none. I also check my texts but again there
are
none. I load my emails and sign in to find that I have over one hundred unread messages
.
I quickly scroll through
them to see that I have a message
from everyone except Adrian! My heart breaks as I come to fact that he has not contacted me
.
My stomach aches from the pain but the agony I feel about losing Adrian is far superior. I go out of my emails and into the call log; I seek out Adrian’s number and push send. I hold the phone to my ear as it rings and I hope for my sanity that he answers
. The phone rings constantly but
he does not answer. I hang up and try again but still no answer. After ten missed calls, I decide to text him instead. I quickly click on the message tab and
I
compose a text to Adrian,

Adrian I have tried to call you but you do not answer. I am worried why you are not here with me. The last time we spoke, you were here in New York and I cannot tell you how happy that made me. I want you to know that I am going to be fine
and
I do not blame you for this in anyway. I miss you and I need you please Adrian let me know that you are safe and that you still love me.
I will not live without you, as
you are my world. I love you and I will
wait for your call all my love A
lanna!

As I hit send, I cannot hold back my tears
, they are flowing freely down my face,
and I sob for what seems like hours. My tears finally stop and I pull myself up into the bed. I go back into
my emails but there is none from Adrian. Thinking of my friends and
of
how worried they must be I open an email from Sophie to read,

Alanna I am so worried about you
,
I have been to your bedside every day and I cannot wait to hear your voice again. Everyone is wishing for you to get well soon
. W
e all miss you and we are all waiting for you to get better and start to boss us around again! 

Instead of replying to Sophie’s email,
I decide that I will call
her
. S
he obviously does not know that I have woken up and I want to hear her voice I also feel that maybe she could know where Adrian is.

“Hello
A
lanna!” Sophie says and her voice is loud and gleeful
.

“Yes Sophie it’s me
.
”

“Oh
A
lanna I am so relieved that you are ok
ay,
you are
ok
aren’t
you?”

“Yes I am fine
,
a bit sore but I’m good
.
”

“I am so glad to hear your voice I can’t believe what happened to you
.
”

“I know it was awful
.
Sophie
,
have you heard from Adrian?”

“Alanna
,
it was more than awful I thought you were going to die
!
”

“But I didn’t I am fine
and
we have to move on from it now
.
”

“A
lanna
,
I can’t understand how you are so calm about this
. I
f it were me I would be a mess
.
”

“I have to be ok with it. It happened and I have to accept it
.
”

“You are the bravest person I know
!
”

“A
nyway Sophie have you heard anything from Adrian?”

“He still hasn’t showed up?”

“No
,
I am worried have you spoken to him?”