To Have and To Hold (28 page)

and cons of taking another woman’s place so she could marry him.

She cleared her throat. “From a smal town in Maine. My father owned the grocery store, and

my brothers helped him with it. My sisters married as soon as they turned sixteen or

seventeen. I worked at a restaurant.” She stopped herself from saying anything else. No need

in tel ing him what they said about her or that her mother hadn’t been supportive of her decision

to come out here.

“How old are you?”

“Nineteen.” By nineteen al of her sisters had already been married. She wondered if he’d be

disappointed that she wasn’t younger, but he gave no indication that he was.

In fact, he offered her an irresistible smile and asked her the question she longed for him to say

again, “You’d real y help me out if you save me the time in placing this ad and marry me.”

Even as she wanted to say yes, she found herself arguing with him once more, just to make

sure he meant it. “You may want someone who is more acceptable to look at.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you look.”

“Wel , I’m not thin.”

“Considering the intensity of the Nebraska winds on some days, a thin woman could easily get

blown away. At least I wouldn’t have to run after you to keep you safely on the property.”

She giggled at his joke. So he real y didn’t mind the way she looked. Her heart sped up.

Perhaps the future she wanted was real y going to happen after al .

“I’d like to get back to my farm and make sure everything is fine out there. If you’re wil ing to

be my wife, I’d like to marry you right away.”

After a couple more questions, she was assured that he did, in fact, mean it and agreed.

From there, he took her to the courthouse where his brother-in-law married them, and after

that, he took her home. The memories began to fade but not before she recal ed how nervous

Dave had been that she would find his sod house lacking.

She didn’t fight the memories as they slipped from her. She knew that in time, she’d remember

the rest of her past, and surprisingly, she liked the idea of remembering her time with Dave and

their children in smal pieces at a time because it gave her something to look forward to.

Turning from the ocean, she faced Dave and chuckled when she realized he’d dozed off. “It’s

nice to know being with me can put you to sleep,” she teased.

He jerked awake and straightened on the bench. “What is it?”

She giggled and kissed him. “I love you.” And truly she did. He not only gave her a home and

his children, but he gave her his heart, and for that, she’d always be grateful to him.

Though his eyebrows furrowed, he returned her smile. “Did I miss something?”

“No.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pul ed him closer to her. “You didn’t miss

anything at al .” Before he could respond, she gave him another kiss, this one longer and

meant to convey how grateful she was that he’d been at the train station the day she arrived in

Omaha.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Grace, Calvin and their children came over to share supper with Mary and Dave at Katie’s

house that evening. Afterwards, the women went to the kitchen to clean the dishes. Mary

washed, Grace’s daughter dried, and Grace put the dishes away. Meanwhile, Katie cleaned up

the kitchen. As they worked, Mary couldn’t help but notice the awkward silence. Supper hadn’t

been too strained with Katie’s son talking about fish again and tel ing Mary how much he

enjoyed the meal. The narrowing of Katie’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Mary who decided not

to make eye contact with her anymore. Tomorrow, she and Dave would be on the train, so she

could leave Katie and the rest of the unpleasantness behind her. She couldn’t wait to go home

and hold her children.

Turning her attention back to the dishes, she finished washing a plate and handed it to Charity.

“Charity’s beautiful, just like you,” she told Grace.

Grace smiled as she arranged the cups on the hooks lining the wal . “Mary, you have beauty,

too.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Mary waited for Katie to leave the room before she continued. “I

remember why I didn’t like looking in mirrors, but I don’t mind the mirrors anymore.”

“You don’t?” Grace asked.

Lowering her voice, Mary shook her head. “No. I’m not beautiful in terms of what most define

beauty to be, but when I look at myself, I see myself the way Dave sees me and it’s even

better.” She didn’t know how else to explain it so she decided to leave it at that.

Grace hugged Mary and whispered, “I’m so glad to hear that.”

“Wel , you did tel me that love makes a woman beautiful.”

Pul ing away from her, she asked, “I did?”

“On your wedding day.”

“You remember that?”

“I remember everything from my time here in Maine now.”

Grace patted her shoulder. “Even the unpleasant things?”

“Everything. But it’s alright. I accept it for what it was.” She shrugged. “In some ways, it

makes me appreciate my life in Nebraska even more.”

“That’s good. I want you to be happy.”

“I am, Grace. I’m happier than I ever thought I could be.”

Wiping a tear from her eye, she smiled. “I am glad for you. I miss you sometimes, but I know

you’re better off there than here. But Mary, you should know something.”

“What’s that?”

Grace glanced at her daughter who was watching them. “Charity, honey, why don’t you go

play outside?”

The girl sighed. “I miss everything good.”

“No, you don’t.” She took the dishtowel from the girl and shooed her out of the kitchen. “Go

play. It’s better out there than with us boring adults.”

Charity headed outside before Grace returned to Mary. When she did, Mary whispered,

“Where’s Katie?” She knew the men and boys were out on the porch talking, but the last time

she checked, Katie was in the dining room, and that wasn’t too far from them.

Grace motioned to the window. “She’s doing what she’s always done best.”

Curious, Mary turned and peered out the open window where Katie was in the backyard talking

to Leah. “They real y are close, aren’t they?”

“That’s why it’s hard to tel one from the other at times.”

Keeping her voice low, she pressed, “What did you want to tel me?”

After a moment, Grace clasped her hands over Mary’s. “You can’t take things at face value

here. A lot of people pretend to be happy. Growing up, they al thought you were the one who

wasn’t going to be happy because of the lot you’d been given.”

“Because of my looks.”

She nodded. “And some of them preferred it that way.”

Mary glanced out the window where Katie and Leah were stil huddled together. “Did I upset

them by getting married?”

“No. But you did upset them when you came here with a man who adores you. You upset

quite a few people.”

“Mother.”

“And a couple more. The thing is that you’re happy and they aren’t. I saw how they responded

to you today at Mother’s. Keep in mind that it’s your happiness that makes them aware of their

unhappiness, and because of that, they don’t like having you around. You took a risk. No one

else would have had the courage to do what you did, but you did it and it’s paid off. Some

people can’t handle it when others are happy.”

“I understand what you’re saying.”

And the way Katie had been acting was starting to make a lot of sense. In Katie’s way, trying

to make her believe she was forgetting things was her way of feeling better about her

miserable situation, and Katie’s husband spent as much time away from her as possible.

Grace squeezed Mary’s hands and returned to the sink. “I suppose we ought to finish these

dishes. Then I’d like to go for a walk with you and talk.” Looking over her shoulder at Mary,

she smiled. “What do you say? For old time’s sake?”

“Of course, Grace.” She picked up the dishtowel Charity had been using and got ready to dry

the dishes. “I’m glad we had each other while growing up. You’re the reason I have good

memories from the time I lived here.”

She blinked back her tears and nodded. “Me too. Childhood wouldn’t have been the same

without you.”

After Mary dabbed her own tears away, she accepted the freshly washed cup Grace handed

her. Perhaps coming out to Maine hadn’t been so terrible after al . It was nice to get

reacquainted with her sister. For a moment, she thought it was a shame she couldn’t take

Grace to Nebraska with her. But then she thought of Calvin and how good he was to her sister

and their children. No. It was good that Grace would be returning to New Jersey to her happy

life. Mary wouldn’t wish anything less for her dear sister. Content, she set the cup on the hook

lining the wal and finished drying the rest of the dishes.

***

Dave woke up in the middle of the night, not sure of what disturbed his slumber. He closed his

eyes and tried to get back to sleep, but even with Mary in his arms, he remained wide awake.

With a resigned sigh, he turned his attention to the window and tried to judge the time of night

by the location of the moon in the sky. He judged it to be a little after midnight.

He closed his eyes again, not with the intention of sleeping but because he didn’t know what

else he could do. If it was day, he could get up and do something. But during the night, there

was nothing to do but wait for morning to come. He rol ed onto his back and counted sheep, as

his mother had instructed him to do when he was a child and had trouble sleeping.

As he did, he realized his pulse was racing. It took him a good minute to realize he worried

about Bert. It’d been about this time last night when he found Bert, drunk as could be with a

gun. Did Bert listen to him that morning? Would Bert stop pretending to shoot himself every

night? What if Bert didn’t pretend next time? What if there were bul ets in the gun?

Bolting up, Dave threw on his clothes and crossed the smal room to the door. Making sure he

didn’t wake Mary, he slowly opened the door and stepped outside the room. He softly shut it

behind him and made his way down the steps. His heart raced with nervous dread. He’d never

come that close to watching someone commit suicide, but his brother-in-law, Owen, had in his

time as a deputy. How Owen managed to deal with that scenario, Dave didn’t understand. He

hadn’t given Owen enough credit in the past for al the things he faced at his job, but he sure did

now.

As he made it to the bottom step, he heard someone snoring from the parlor. Stil keeping

quiet, he inched to the parlor doorway and was relieved to see that Bert was fast asleep on the

couch. There was no gun. There was a bottle of whisky, but at least there was no gun. Wel ,

some improvement was better than none. It wasn’t a perfect situation, but it was a start. He’d

just have to keep the man in his prayers and hope things would work out for the best.

Dave went to the outhouse, washed up, and returned to the house through the kitchen door.

On his way by the parlor where Bert was stil sound asleep, Dave almost ran into Katie who

was standing by the bottom of the staircase. He jerked when he saw her.

She softly giggled. “I didn’t mean to spook you.”

He stepped back and, realizing she hadn’t bothered to put a robe on over her nightgown,

averted his eyes from her. “I better get back to Mary.”

He made a move to pass her so he could go up the stairs, but she quickly blocked his way.

“There’s no hurry,” she whispered. “It’s not morning yet.”

His face flushed as her meaning dawned on him. Making eye contact with her, he shook his

head. “I think it’s best if you remember you’re married.”

She shrugged and twirled a few strands of hair around her finger. “So?”

His jaw dropped. “So?”

“My husband hasn’t touched me in years. I don’t
feel
married.”

He glanced at the parlor where Bert stil slept. “Maybe you ought to do something to

encourage him.”

She giggled again. “Maybe if he gave me a good reason to, I would.”

“Whatever problems you’re having with Bert, it’s up to you and Bert to work them out. Now,

please let me go up the stairs to your sister before I force you out of my way.”

“You needn’t worry about them. They’re asleep, and it’l be our little secret.”

She lowered her hands to unbutton her gown, but he clasped his hands around her wrists and

stopped her. “I advise you to remember your vows. Whether you’re happy or not, you

promised to forsake al others as long as you and Bert live. And if that doesn’t stop you from