To John (2 page)

"John, I am thinking of moving. It
is up to you. I don't feel comfortable with too relaxed people. I
just feel uncomfortable... I can not see what you see... and you
can not see what I see so clearly."

"Do you think this is a fiction?
Was it just a fiction? Is a few million within five minutes just a
fiction? Help yourself."

"John, I drank too much. Can I
stay in your flat?"

John said yes but he felt sick as
he had quite enough of this prodigy type. Ana never asked him
before. Whatever. He wanted to see what she or he looks like. A
typical teenager with messy bits with bright eyes. He wondered why
he had to cancel his night at a pub. Tonight was the nightmare. A
mere shit. And the creature which helped him to go through this
shit wants to stay at his flat. Great.

29 Nov 2014

"Finally Mario made his mind up to
take unusual step."

Ana was up on the kitchen table
when John peeped this sentence.

"Failing in OPEC audit is crucial.
This might lead to another bubble burst before Obama retire."

"A serious cash trade will be
started as a first symptom of capital exodus. Hit the iceberg. You
can play waltz to avoid panic for 2 hours or so?"

Ana said he can watch these on his
new mobile as she is typing. A simple connection, she said. And
there are. Three texts from Ana. She muttered something like
'Syncroniaztion based on quantom mass. Sounds dodgy but it is and
it works. At least 1800 so far. That's why you can not text me
back. We can use our old phone for chatting.' She was playing
candy, saying 'hank you very much for having me. Can I stay here
until 12?' 'By the way, you are way taller and handsomer than I
thought.'

John remember how vunerable she
looked last night in front of his flat. A shivering wounded animal.
Very small, dark, thin and pale. And quite young. Upset by the
drinking. Very upset. Not spoiled as he expected. She waited until
he went to his room and laid down on the sofabed. And he heard her
sobbing. He understood. A rough day. He used to have tears too. He
put his duvet over his face and fell asleep.

"Thank you very much for letting
me stay at yours. It will not happen again. Promise."

"Anyway, spare ribs at PM 6:00
tonight."

John felt weird. And rather tired.
Today is Saturday. People are busy shopping. There is something
missing. He saw Ana in person. Nothing abnormal. A bit autistic.
Quiet. Rather pretty side. She said she was born in Jerez and her
mother is Korean. He did not think. A sentence came out of
somewhere from his mind. He was not thinking anything. But the
sentence was 'if I cannot see you again, I cannot see anything.' He
tried to think which song it was from.

"Ana wants some spare ribs."

"For how many?"

"Two. She was quite upset last
night."

John called Mark.

"What time?"

"PM 6:00"

"Too tight."

"Let me know, so I can ask someone
else."

"Ok, kiddo."

===========

"I got my capital spareribs from
Hong Kong Fusion."

John called Mark again.

"It's all there. Warm."

====================

"Job done. Have a nice weekend,
Ana."

John used the old phone and texted
her.

"Are you married?"

It took a long time to get the
answer.

"Yes and no."

"What do you mean?"

"Yes, I am legally married in
Spain. No, I am not with my husband any more."

"Am I too intrusive?"

"Yes."

"Do you mind?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Yes. Before I say F word."

John called Mark again.

"Good. Job done. Have a roasted
beef tomorrow. Cheers."

30 Nov 2014

"No more pretend game. We will
peel their skin off, alive."

John felt a lump of fire in the
chest. He had to play squash. He wanted to smash something quite
badly. It was not an anger. Very physical. So physical that the
soaring mass almost made him jump. Similar type of energy when he
was boxing. He was not moving, the energy made him move. If he did
not move, it hurts. He could hear cracking noise from parts of his
body. At first he thought his shoulder blade or knee cap were
broken. He will sweat a lot. He also got a message from Kate
"aborted". He called her and said "Good decision. We are not
royals, are we?" He heart the old, good Kate's laugh with
tears.

"Do you want some Tortellini?"

"Ja... I need a good food, don't
I?"

"Sorry."

He felt sorry for her. And he
remembered the Tortellini shit. It felt like years ago, not just
last Friday. Fez clubbing... It was too late to ask about the
reality. What is it? Shit. Multilayered shits, basically. Which one
will you hang on to? Whichever makes you feel real, makes you feel
like yourself. He saw some of his colleagues fell into a black dog,
a clinical depression after making a couple of good millions. The
side effect of a sudden euphoria. Some of them came back and some
of them still stay there or some of them went deeper with costive
drugs.

Not many hours left though. He is
not afraid of bombing. It felt surreal to eat luch with Kate,
swolling all her emotions with a class of red wine. He wanted to
skip that kind of reality. But nobody is happy in this life. You
have to remember that. Let us say after 20. As soon as you remember
other's happiness, you became unhappy. Sad old age. He was running
a different film in his mind until he heard Kate saying "John, we
can start again, can't we?"

Half of tortellini was still
hanging in his mouth.

"Hell, no."

He had to say that.

"Kate, sorry, no way. Finito,
no?"

When he saw that sad, greedy,
betrayed and beutifually arranged face, he felt he said something
right. His heart got lightened. He has no obligation to her. He
likes to find someone younger, fresher and more independent. Kate
will sort out her life or time to time come to him and cry,
complain and sleep. It was bright, crispy and chilly autumn day.
They walked together. Sulking...

"My husband went to a countryside
with that consultant bitch. Home alone tonight, Ana."

"Unless I am too drunk as a
depressed wife, of course, I will join you for half of an hour or
so. Would that be ok with you, John?"

"I will play with you because I am
deadly lonely. Ha ha..."

"Still I have to go out for a
drink with my husband's ex-girlfriend. The enemy of my enemy is my
friend. Will let you know how drunk I will be..."

"I do not apologize to a phycho,
who tried to turn me into a phycho. Is this clear?"

"More details can be followed when
we get bored."

The following ranting texts are on
the old one, which John can use back.

"Well... a woman who never had a
boyfriend before the age of 37. Is she normal or is she a liar? If
she is abnormal, in what way? If she is a liar, why did she
lie?"

"I know, very silly. But when I
woke up from my Sunday nap, my husband shouted at me that I have to
apologize to that American phycho."

"4 years ago, she told us that she
was 36. Now she is 46. The skin age of her hands are over 60. She
had a baby 3 yrs ago. No one saw her bump."

"I had to shout back to my husband
that I do not deal with that kind as she wanted some treatments
from me. I can not handle that case as she attacked me."

"Ana, can I take my turn?"

"What?"

"My girlfriend of 10 yrs had my
brother's baby."

"I know that."

"She had a abortion."

"Yes?"

"She wanted to start with me
again."

"You're jotking..."

"Tanks."

"What shall I do?"

"What?"

"Apologize thingi."

"Forget it."

"Tanks."

============

"Synchronization interval changed
into 2min. Still testing... get it light. Too much shaffling at the
moment..."

"No way to use this tonight. Back
to 4min. 10min or so."

"She tried to seduce my husband.
Do I have to apologize to her? Full stop."

"In this case, we will try 2
min."

"Got a reply from West Khan &
Eight Monkey Nuts. They want to have a go."

"YAP."

An hour later.

"I drank too much. Thank to that
bitch."

"Do you want to stay at mine
again?"

"Ho ho, no. I promised,
remember?"

"Where are you?"

"In my kitchen."

"Will you play tonight?"

"God knows. But, John, you know,
it will not make any difference whether I play or not. Almost
everything is set now. So, things are beyond me. But something is
missing here. I will try to figure out. And then I will go to bed.
Basically I know what is missing. Too embarassing to say. What is
missing is your gut. I do not want to embarass you. But this is a
war. And you are missing is a gut. Russian roulette, tonight? I
would like to see a British roulette. What would that be like? No
such a thing? Well... if you are just a step ahead of the second
credit crunch, you had better try one. I do not like that Canadian
in your bank. He seems reasonable but deeply has been fucking you
up."

December 2014

1st Week December 2014

01 Dec 2014

"John, John, shall we do some
quilting today? Different engine, no? Still, there is a problem
with broadband. Too slow."

"Uninstall all the other
programs."

"Start carrying from US 10yr. Dim
Sum is still warm and sweet. Might consider to go back if it's over
2.60. Quite a fat chance. Rottening."

"I will buy a dual spin water
cleaner from LGS online shop."

"Do not follow me when I sell
unless you want your legs torn apart."

"Anyway those beggars are gone.
Hope they could go through the airport without being caught by the
thermal gun."

"Lunch time, Yum Yums."

"Do not lose that tiny little blue
bit."

"Are you fighting with your
sanity? Can not be bothered. Let us be insane. Not often
though."

"When you make a U turn, you
should steer the wheel for sure, no? Otherwise, you have an
accident from both sides."

"If you drive Lamborghini at 20mph
all the time, it gets really annoyed and finally the engine get
damaged. You had better buy a smart or ka something. You do not
deserve the car. You live in a wrong place."

"Same with horses. Same with
us."

"By the way, how are your legs?
There will be a very short chance to join them later."

"Yamamoto sensei used to shout at
us. 'I will cut your bollocks out.' Other boys looked at me. I was
the only girl there."

"He said 'when you swim, you
think, you sink.'"

"Cooking time. Minestorm with
Garlic bread."

"Almost done."

"A little bit more of seasoning.
Not salty enough..."

Before Ana fell asleep, she was
shouting to herself. A bad day.

"You are not my f****** brother.
You cannot tell me to pack my bag and go home first. Never ever
dare to say that I am a crying baby."

02 Dec 2014

"Have you ever slept with an
enemy? I think we did last night. Not bad, eh?"

"Peter is coming. I have to see
him face to face. I will be back by PM 1:00 ^ ^;."

"Channeling all the way. I might
change the interval around AM 10:50. Are you vibrating, or
what?"

In the afternoon, she wrote,

"Please let me stay in this world.
Too much pain."

"Big boys do not cry, no?"

"If you do, I will peel off your
d***head. If you've done it already, tell your friends how painful
it is.If you've done it already And cry, you are out."

"Then again... go home... Have a
cup of hot chocolate or something... Ask your mum. 'Mum... can I
eat something? Is there anything to eat?' Your mum will slap your
head first instead of me."

John knew this is not for him. The
meeting with Peter got busted. He told Ana not to be too involved
with Buddhists. They are wanking too much mentally or physically.
Ana got upset and said her mum is a Buddhist and is still cleaning
the house for two hours every morning, listening to the Heart
Sutra. John said he meant business. He corrected himself a bit that
Buddhists are spiritually too high, so they do not know what is
shit and what is blood and what is fuck basically. Most of all,
they live in this permanently blessed or what state, they don't
know the timing, which will not come again.

"Oye, Kentucky, I have to make
myself clear. I am not your friend. We can share a profit
temporarily. I am not your friend. Keep the timing right! Why is
your ass so heavy?"

"You are not my friend. You cannot
decide. Eat your chicken."

"You killed too many people for
the last 50 years for your wealth. Karma. Unavoidable. Not your
fault as an individual but you cannot avoid it. Something is
coming. I do not know exactly what. But I saw your new map. I am
telling you this because you can see me now. I do not know how but
I know that you can see me. If so, pack. Pack and run. The west
part of Colorado. Something to do with KP line and 26 GE mark 1
reactors. As KP line was rejected because it might trigger the
earthquake. If there is an earthquake near those nuclear plants,
you will have hydro-explosions. There were 2-3 already but they are
declared as no-fly zones. That's why there is no news. Research if
you doubt. Get the map. Draw the line. You will see very clearly
what will happen."

03 Dec 2014

"Sorry about hot flushes, caused
by Fischer's considerable time ch***ing."

"Henry conducted 2008 shit
shifting. He got employed again this spring."

"They cannot use BNP Paribas again
as they fine them too bitterly."

"Last year, around this time,
there was a debt ceiling & government shutdown."