To John (8 page)

4th Week Dec 2014

22 Dec 2014

Ana called him directly.

"Did you do it?"

"No."

"Who did it?"

"Sony. They want to show that they
can help Texans. That's why they could not tell to Obama. They made
the film to attack us. They made an excuse. They are Japs. They
will be very happy if we use long range."

"Do you have any?"

"What do you think, sis? That's
our life saver."

Ana had to keep on going whatever
happened in her family life. She appreciated Jose's job yesterday.
She meant it.

"Obrigada, Jose. Obrigada."

"Ho ho, John. Did you enjoy the
poll dance last night? Take it as my little present for
Christmas."

"Sofia, I have no tongue for you.
I envy you. I know you stayed up all night. But time to get up and
dressed, though. Cheers, Ana."

Morning passed. Afternoon
came.

"I know it is my mistake and my
fault. Look at you. You can not even stand up properly. Your legs
are trembling. I did not konw you are not like us. We used to do
three nights in a raw without any nerves break down. Maybe you are
just different generation. But which do you prefer? Struggling
through the crowd in sweat or ordering online to deliver in front
of your house in time? One day you will have an assistent who can
do all the shopping for you perfectly, don't you think?"

Ana thought something
different.

'I do not care whether Henry is
fucking a woman with arthritis. It's just funny and sad as he has a
sciatica. Nigel Farage did not mind fucking a woman with a casted
leg. Sad and funny too. All this funny and sad thing came from the
fact that I could not take my nap after work. I am not blaming
anybody. Who invented this Christmas thingi?'

She took a nap and woke up and
wrote this.

'Taste a little bit of sky. If you
leave me, you are dead.'

She thought,

'Shit, I am possessed again. What
the hell am I talking things like this? But I can say the same
thing to Henry.'

Then her body started shaking and
her hand started moving again.

'After you are dead, you will walk
in the darkness permanently. I am your savior. Seven seals are all
open. I am the ultimate. I am the source. I am the flow. I am the
monster. I am the one.'

Then everything became very quiet.
Utter silence.

'What can I do for you, Super
Power?'

Nothing happened.

'Is there anything I can do for
you?'

Her hand started moving again.

'Nothing.'

Ana got really scared of
nothing.

"Why are you so fucked? What's the
matter with you? You know I am not a monster. You saw me before and
you see me today. The same. But for a matter of fact, without you,
I will just disappear. If I didn't see you hoping around on the
deck, I simply jump into the deep ocean and the wild sky, which are
mine. You made me stay in this world. You that little creature.
Something made me think that you were more important than my own
existance or my euphoria with this universe. You reminded me that
there is something I have to do. Homework. I stayed. I stayed. I
remember more than I am supposed to remember. My consciousness is
exposed to that formidable memories, utter hatred and fury. Pure
destruction under my finger tips. Do not think I am fond of you.
You are a little creature. Like a virus. A primitive compound of an
organic form."

"I have to ask myself what I am
doing here? Anti-biotics. That's what I am. I kill those, who are
harmful to the body. Nature, surviving, nature, surviving. Nature,
balancing, nature, balancing. Nature, absolute, nature, absolute.
Nature, nothing, nothing, everything."

She didn't feel like being
possessed. It was her. Maybe the possessing spirit finally
possessed all of her. There was no Ana. Poor thing. She is
gone.

23 Dec 2014

"Morning. China suggested a
loan of $24bil to Russia through currency swap. China saw Putin's
gut. They want to get in Forex together."

Ana saw the map and the scene.
She had to write it down before she forget.

'The formation of 26 remained
GE reactor Mark 1 is a minefield of thermonuclear ie hydrogen
bombs. The main artery is aligned with the KP pipeline.
Unprecedented explosion in human history can happen by nature or a
bad tempered man. The minefield was made by US all themselves. It
could be fixed several times. Their greed made them bury it.

"Another morning. 'Opec leader
vows not to cut oil output:

Saudi oil minister Ali al-Naimi
says even if prices hit $20 a barrel production will not drop.'
Declaration of war against USA from OPEC. $20... Scary... In this
case, China and Russia will back up North Korea."

"Let's have a party even though
you are highly constipated as you will never know what will be on
news tomorrow."

25 Dec 2014

Ana wrote a Christmas card to her
little brother.

'I
don't konw what on earth you are thinking. But once you started,
you have to finish your job. As your sister, I am always behind
you. At least your timing was ok. Do not tell me about your deal.
Turn them into cash before the new year. Hack the Texans into
pieces. Obama was in your team from the start, wasn't he? You
clever sod. Finish the year with nightmare and pleasure as you
wrote to Park. And you know how much I charge per second for
publicity. I'm doing this for free as you are my family. I will
check your bank account. If it is still in red, I will kill you
first.
Merry
Christmas.'

북한
GDP
가
남한의
4.8%
입니다
.
말이
안되지요
?
통일해야죠
.
세상에
이런
망신꼬라지를
당하고
,
춘궁기라는
것이
아직
있고
,
창피하네요
.
한
마디로
거지
발싸개
신세가
된겁니다
.

GDP
of North Korea is 4.8% of South Korean. Does it make sense? We
should be reunited. So internationally embarrsing. You still have
the spring starvation
. So
shameful. You became into this foot wrapper for a
begger.

26 Dec 2014

"Upper cut, boxing day, init?"

"US GDP faked."

"Holiday sale started."

"One red cherry is all we
needs."

"Buy ABBA. Samsung's order."

"John, I heard you died. I will
miss your smile and all your effort here. See you there. I might
not recognize you. In that case, you just tell me that you are the
farmer John."

"John, this is different John I
know. But the same. Relentless farming under all miserable English
weather. I will remember his clear blue eyes and his little joys in
this life like bargain hunt and a tiny flower pot. I am full of
rage. I know what cancers are like."

"By the way, are you really
playing boxing because it's a boxing day?"

"In that case, KO for this round.
Finish the game early, and go home. Or are you crying out for a
towel?"

"Boxing is over. Heading for a
dramatical sex."

27 Dec 2014

"Open up before you are forced to
open up. Who knows? You can be the next Merkel. Anyway South Korea
knows how to sell your natural resources at a very decent price.
Nobody is a Imperial America's friend. Didn't you know that
yet?"

"Words game is over. Do not
ridicule yourself anymore. Your GDP, that's the point whatever you
say. That's why you are internationally ridiculed. You are so
poor."

"We are the only and the last
country on this earth, which was divided by Cold war. Dynasty? Fuck
off. Get me the list of those fucking old generals, who are
threatening you not to open in order to hold their positions. They
have fucked you so long. Do not appreciate them as they did not do
the Coup d'etat. They miscalculated you. Be a man. Hold your
bollocks. Got it? Hack their bank accounts. Sack them all. Time's
up. Even your own biological mother will not be a help. Who bought
quite a few 4,000 dollar Prada & Hermes bags in San Francisco
the other day?"

"Begin a housecleaning. Otherwise
you will be housecleaned."

"By the way, if you still have
swiss accounts, you had better move to either Deutche or Natwest.
Santander possible. As the Swiss database got hacked. Your name
will be exposed. That will be the end of your political career. You
move yours and sack the others who remained."

'It's like a dream. I became what
I wanted. Real. Through all these shits and pains. Still very
shitty and painful though. Let's reckon. How much real is it? 3
trillion a day. I am fucking crazy. Ha ha... Am I really crazy? If
you think yes, ignore me. If not, follow me.'

'Then again, it has nothing to do
with our own individual will. If you think, you can choose, you are
in trouble. This is pre-planned by what you call a God. I am a kind
of a mediator, possessed by my own spirit, which started breathing
on this earth for the first time. I can breathe... I can vibrate...
I can spin. I feel free. I can see what I am doing...'

'But I can not think. There's no
thinking. I am trying to think but I can not think. Holly shit...
My father said if you see a Buddha, kill it. I see a Buddha in me,
I will kill it. I will kill it as I feel something is not right.
Not right at all. I cannot wank like Suckamoney. He named his son
Lahoula meaning obstacle. My kids are not obstacles. They made me
live here. Different. Still he made a point. The last phase of
enlightenment is like as if your eardrum is about to be burst. Very
painful. I appreciate it and I say thank you for that tip. That
means this heavenly energy has to penetrate through your
hypothalamus, joining two seperated brains. Oh so painful. But
that's how you have an excess to this universal mind and knowledge.
Finally we become into One.'

'Something is terribly missing
here. But I can not think. Tomorrow.'

Ana's possessed state was getting
funnier with all those Christmas buzz.

28 Dec 2014

'No fun whatsoever. All I want to
do is a housecleaning. My head is about to burst. Too many bottles.
No news. No contacts. The whole world is so quiet. Clearance sale?
No way. Hang on... Yes, too many stuff. I like to get rid of any
old rubbish. I want a simple, simple life. And you, bro?'

'Absolute stability? Are you
talking about water? Does water have consciousness to try the
stability? Ha ha no. But I am not water. I am a human. I need an
absolute rest. How can I get that kind of stuff? Do I feel tired?
Not sure. I feel unstabilized by all that Christmas thingis and
stuffs. I like to go back to work, which I am good at. Work,
dinner, sleep, work, dinner, sleep. I like that routine. That
routine made me feel safe. Clean and clear. Anything wrong with it?
Am I depressed here? Possible. The aftermath.'

'I must be severly depressed. I
can see but I can not feel. I have no motivation either.'

'Good question. What shall I do
now? My eyelids started twitching.'

'There were things I loved to do.
What were they?'

'I do not know what hit me.
Something hit me hard. My heart got stunned. I will find out later.
Something happened. I am going to John's funeral next Saturday. I
do not know whether two things are related.'

'Was this your problem, the
bordum? I have the same problem now. Possibly just tonight. If I
have the same problem tomorrow, I have to think about my life. I
just lived and I have never thought about it properly.'

Suddely Ana woke up from three
days of hangover.

"John, did you konw NASA is using
Linux, Ubuntu? Change our OS. Urgent. Ana."

"Ana, do not jump. Just downdate
the version in order to limit the access. Or we can use google
chrome for tonight until it settled."

Ana thought,

'Who was talking about absolute
stability? There is no such a thing. My ears are getting hot. I
feel like a steamed dumpling. Sweating all around again... Why is
NASA using Ubuntu? They got fucked the other day anyway. They have
to change their operating system, not us. They are a pathetic
excuse to spend money. They are leaking money everywhere like an
old seniled man peeing around. They always make me angry. They make
me forget bringing down my chestnuts. Move you all to Mars and do
not come back.'

5th Week Dec 2014

29 Dec 2014

'I had to try very hard not to put
my own money in order not to lose the clarity. Shit. Does this make
sense? If my own money is at stake, I will not sleep. Then I will
burn myself. I will go crazy. But I like to see... Then again,
nobody is using their own money for the trading. That's how they
can do day after day, year after year. Still they get paid well.
Where is my commission here?'

2nd day of OS DLM

'Shit... I put my money on the
stake. I had an instant angina. I took some French brandy. Shit....
I am hooked again. I don't want to get divorced either. I am in a
deep shit. I cannot tell this to John either. Shit... I will try
today. If it will not work, I will withdraw the whole sum tomorrow
12 sharp. Simple. All I needed was some blood, attachment,
obssession, my whole heart. I feel good whatever state I got in. My
whole body is burning again. I am not a cold bitch. I am a burning
hell.'

"Ana, why are you so quiet? Did
you your morning homework?"

"John, not much thing to say until
os is settled. Everything ok with transactions etc?"

"Delayed but no problem."

"Carl called this morning. He said
something about decoupling."