To John (7 page)

The Texan John said

"Texas is five times bigger than
UK."

I asked him.

"Where is Oklahoma?"

"North of Texas."

"Where is Cooper?"

"Don't know..."

Ana felt helpless. She thought
that the Texan John should know where the first and the biggest
hydro explosion might happen in a very near future. People call it
man made disaster if any of them survive through.

'I am not helping you. I just want
to let you know. That is my nature. My tiring nature.'

"John, not much to say today."

"What's up, doc?"

"Sorry, personal problem. Do not
ask further. I feel like a shit. I am in a deep shit."

"I told you my deepest shit. You
can tell me."

"Sorry, hell, no. My husband
cannot get pregnant with my sister, no? Sorry. It's just that
American bitch messed up again. If I happen to see her again, I
will put out all her hairs in front of all the guest. Anyway, I am
supposed to be a mentally ill person. Even though I kill her, I go
to a phychiatric hospital, not a prison. I can do whatever I want.
I will put an end to her social life in UK. She cannot sell any
more illegal immigration visas, Bitch. So, I don't care whether you
go up or down. I don't care. Do not try to calm me down, so I can
help you. No. I am in a serious mood swing."

Ana just walked straight forward.
She cannot remember how many cars or bikes stopped or jerked. She
just walked for miles and miles through the Christmans shopping
crowd.

"It's your turn to make me feel
good. And you know how."

Ana was trying to sort out her mad
anger.

'It is not an anger. It is just an
energy, which is very similar to anger. My mind is trying to find a
reason. I can make a reason but that is not proper for this kind of
anger. It was exploded this morning. I could not control it. I
almost killed myself. It moved me so wild. I am still in it.
Painful and numbing. Moving and shooting through my face, backbone
and the end of coccix. My mind is still telling me that I am
avoiding something. I am not. Can I say I am not? What if my
husband has an actual, emotional tenderness towards to that Amerian
bitch? That is my question. Can I find out tonight? If I can find
out, what can I do? Divorce? Because of that emotional tint? I
suddenly remember my husband was almost about to kill that man. The
man. I thought life is too bury for that kind of emotional
indulgence. But maybe this is time for myself. I've been denying my
feeling for so many years. My turn. My turn to wank hard.'

"John, life is sad, is not
it?"

"Sorry, Ana, are you a wank?"

"Yes. Who is not?"

"True. Did you do your
homework?"

"What? I've been working in the
clinic for the last, fucking for how many hours?"

"Didn't know that."

"Are you closing now?"

"Waiting for a news..."

"What? FOMC said the fat ass
stuck. What else? Putin's perfect storm thingi? Anyway Yellen is
so, so fat and ugly. I am missing Christine. She looks so cool but
is she still under the investigation? I can not stand ugly
women."

Ana totally forgot about her man.
She was more interested in Putin's storm. Well it failed.

Putin did not fail. He made it as
a world news. Meaning: attracting like Peromon. Something is going
on... People started sniffing... Or it's like a CPR.

"John, John, are you interested in
CPR?"

"What do you mean?"

"Cardio something. Hang on...
Cardiopulmonary resuscitation. Forget the jargon. Just look what
Putin did. That chart, if you do not mind a few fractures."

"I do mind fractures. Forget
it."

"Am I agitating them too
much?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Americans."

"Too late..."

"Got you."

19 Dec 2014

"CPR in the morning. You give me a
heart attack. Ho Ho * ^^ *"

"You should keep the vertaevrae
straight in order to avoid sudden suffocation. @-@"

"Mixed signals means fucked up.
Straightforwardly."

"Sofia, do you remember the dress
when we first met? The same. Black and white stripes. You can open
another account in case of a few fractures. Girls only."

"John, I want some more stripe
candies. Let's swap."

Ana read Daily Telegraph. Two
funny things.

"Wendi Deng's description about
Tony Blair: What else, what else, what else?

Sony hacking: Koreans. Kneel down
Hollywood shits. We will join one day in a very near future."

"John, the Yellow Emperor said
that in winter we have to live as if we have a deep secret. He said
that is the way to keep the energy efficiently."

"Ana, who is the Yellow Emperor?
Another asian contact?"

"No, he wrote a foundation book
for oriental medicine. My point is that at his time, 4 thousands
years ago, there was no central heating. That means we do not have
to live as if we have a secret. No secret."

To John, it was quite a tiring
day. He preferred to keep the secret with Ana. Why? Too much work
if they open their networks. Ah...

"Sofia, I am going to a Hell-Gate
party. I will wear the same bloody dress."

"Ana, no one will notice."

"Ok. Cool."

20 Dec 2014

Ana's saturday, quite meaningless,
crazy jotting.

"I killed my self. Not bad. And I
am born again. Shit. Now the sky knows. The earth knows. Everybody
knows. Do not fiddle with me."

"If you do, something will happen
to you. I have no conscious idea about it. I just know something
will happen. I don't think I am lucky as I am suffering from the
consequences too. I buried too many things in my heart for so long.
My heart is like a lump of tar. I will burn it as my fuel."

"I warned you. It's too late. You
are burning with me."

"Did you see? I am not joking. Do
you think you are still alive? Physically, yes. But no spirit. It
is called a zombie. Your children know it very well. They will
leave you because you are disgusting."

"A three year old girl told
me,

'Mum and dad are different. Dad
stay longer.'"

"I can not do anything about it.
You can not do anything about it. This is what you call the
judgment."

"Some zombies look like
pathological liars. In fact they are not. They just don't know what
they are doing. Of course."

It was like automatic writing.
Somebody else moved her to jot it down. Ana prayed to that somebody
else. It definitely felt like a possession.

'Please do not stay in me too
long. I will be busy tomorrow night at 10:00. I don't think you can
handle it. Any mistake? We are all dead, Super Power.'

21 Dec 2014

Ana's reasoning about Sony
hacking.

"Internal Affair, nothing to do
with North Korea. CIA hacking.

1. Sony (8,000 bil net income a
year) is a major sponsor of Obama. Their financial software was
ruined. Of course they could not tell to Obama. Sony is pushed to
make up its mind before next presidential election as a show
case.

2. This is a counter attack of CIA
as Dem revealed their Guantanamo files. Republicans, Jeb Bush. It's
their job. I can see the obivious crack in the US government, or I
can see two governments. FBI and CIA = Dem and Rep.

Obama, if you want to win next
year, you should crack this down. Joint inquiry, whatever. Dig the
whole thing out. Fundraising is the Achilles in the election, is
not it?

By the way, North Korean are
different. They have long-distance nuclear missles. That's why
Japan do not need American's protection. They can shoot missiles
across Pacific. You should be very careful this time. They have
'you die, I die' strategy. Slightly different from Kami Kase. Kami
Kase is 'I die, you die', not 'you die, I die'. Basically it means
'you die, first'.

In case, they don't have, they can
easily borrow from either South Korea, who does not want another
war, or China, who is not happy with the US debt, or an old friend
Iran, who is dying to use theirs. Pakistan. That's why US could not
make a move for Taliban.

"John, I got a budget for a short
film. Killing of one of the followings.

George(38) has one kid *

Noelle(37) drug addict, useless:
2001 arrests of Noelle Bush's cousins, Jenna & Barbara Bush,
for underage drinking.

John Ellis(31) known as Jebby
**

Jenna & Barbara(33), TV
personality for more publicity

Either George's kid or Jebby or
Jenna. Of couse, it will be an accident. A tragedy not a comedy
this time. One of them just forgot to wear the seatbelt somehow.
They were in a hurry, the seatbelt was too tight. They could not be
bothered."

"The only problem is that they are
all too ugly. Not photogenic. Disgusting. I will think of something
else. The point is that I got a budget. Let's say 12 min film."

Ana started writing another
scenario about a monster. Half alien and half IVF human.

"I am not afraid of pain. Pain is
my friend. Pain is guiding me. I see my body all the time like a
scanner. I can see the pain when it comes and goes. Pain comes in
and starts burning. My body gets very hot. Then it shoots fire
balls. Pain goes. The reason I am regarded as a monster is I don't
have a control of these fire balls time to time. The direction and
angle of these balls are calculated and predetermined by the pain.
I am not guilty. I can not live with too much pain either.
Unfortunately some unlucky people who got on my nerves have these.
They do not know what I am. They insensitively come near me. If
they are pretty, they are ok. If they are not, and they are smelly,
they got these balls."

Ana thought she is not very good
at writing. It sounds like a badly written teenage horror. Worse
than that. She had to kill some time. So she continued.

"Some people think I am their
savior or something. Of course not. I have no such an intention
what so ever. Just these fire balls can cure people. I saw they
killed pre-cancer cells. I saw they cured all sorts of neuralgia,
severe depression and even impaired hearing."

Ana started being fond of this
monster.

"I am half an alien. I did not
come from other planet. I came from other universe, ie, other
dimension.

As pain started penetrating
through the brain, particularly through the hypothalamus, my
memories were activated. Long and painful progress. Still it's
worth going through. At least I know who I am. I still have problem
with five sensces. I hear two languages at the same time. I see two
figures at the same time. I am not hallucinated either. Then I
noticed quite a lot of, so called mental illness, have so similar
symptoms including autism, dyslexia etc. That's why I started
contacting other people, working in a clinic. I would like to find
my own kind. I am a male but people started calling me Rea. I
should get used to these dual identities, dual realities."

Ana thought,

'This is not going to work. Too
typical. Half what and what? You need an action, thrill and hooker.
Something else... Back to killing story? No... Assasination? Who?
Obama will be gone next year any way. More hacking? Some serious
hacking? I am not that bad at hacking thanks to Carl... Hacking
what? CIA has done most of jobs. What can be worth being hacked?
Everything is in the cloud. Keeping data in isolated system is so
old fashioned and tedious. Also it costs too much for backups.
Secret bank accounts? Joking... My typing as I am typing is sending
signals already. Is there something new under the sky? Something
new... something new. In order to survive in an old world. Kinetic
power plus trading? Someone can control the screen for 10 min or
so. Not psychic. Too tiring. In order to move 10 cm of a 10g
object, you have to use 2kg of your body. You lost 2kg. What on
earth do you do that for? Show business? possible.'

Ana became restless, so she saw
some news.

'FBI says its analysis spotted
distinct similarities between the type of malware used in the Sony
Pictures hack and code used in an attack on South Korea last
year.(BBC)'

Ana thought,

'This is a real comedy. Similarity
between what and what? Type of malware and Code? I have a
headache... So stupid. Ah... CIA won.'

"John, which do you prefer, a
thriller or a horror?"

"Ana, I like hard core
pornos."

"Ok. Anyway, 12 min. I will do
some hard cording."

"Hard core, not hard cording."

"Same to me. I will use Prolog or
Lua."

"Are they sexy?"

"I will try..."

But Ana found it too difficult.
She called Brazilian Jose.

"Jose, are you still using
Prolog?"

"Nope. Ancient."

"Never mind. Can you do something
for me?"

"What is it?"

"Can you delete certain objects on
the charts for 4-5 secs?"

"I will have a look and let you
know."

"Very similar to holding the
screen with 'Please wait...'. Just one or two lines. That's
all."

Ana got a go-ahead call from
Jose.

"John, here is your porno
scenario. Jump, suck, clear... jump, suck, clear... jump, suck,
clear."

"Sofia, do not bother tonight.
Porno for boys. We start fresh tomorrow like any other office
girls. Take a good rest."

"Sorry Ana, I do not mind Gang
Bang."

Ana envied her youth and
groaned.

'When I get bored, I make
mistakes. I should try not to dig out the old and easy shit instead
of trying to tackle new and fresh shit. The old and easy shit is
that American shit. The new and fresh shit is Tax Return. I will
tackle maybe after Christmas. I am definitely in the anal stage in
Freudian phycology. Everything is shit. Pleasure and conflict from
controlling bowel movement? He is so right. Rea must have been
derived from diarrhea unconsciously. Diarrhea means thourough flow
in Greek, by the way. Now I get into that horrible constipation
level 78 at Candy.'