Touch Me There (15 page)

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EXERCISE 4.3:
The Kivin Method

Formulated by Dr. Patti Britton, the
Kivin Method
(a.k.a. Tahitian oral- sex technique) utilizes the female’s perineum, providing a deeper orgasm with a perineum-clitoris connection. As you’re stimulating her orally, slowly sweep your tongue back and forth over the hood of her clitoris, feeling for two tiny bumps on each side of her clitoral hood. As you’re doing this, keep two fingers on either side of the hood. Slowly increase

your speed, maintaining your stroke. With your other hand, gently press your middle finger into her perineum. As she nears climax, sweep your tongue across the head of her clitoris and continue through her orgasms. Note: This method is best done while a woman is on her back, her partner perpendicular and approaching her from a right angle. The key, as well, is paying attention to her responses. You may need to adjust your tongue speed.

Vaginal Weight Lifting

All Eastern approaches to sex teach about the importance of exercising the pubococcygeus muscle in order to increase circulation of blood and sexual hormones to the brain center. This is because in both sexes all of the body’s major meridians, which carry energy between the vital organs, pass through the pelvic-floor area. If these muscles are blocked or weak, energy will dissipate and organs will suffer. Pelvic-floor exercises help to strengthen the reproductive organs and the area’s tendons, help the tis- sues to communicate with all other parts of the body, and help to main- tain overall health. For women, such exercises are sometimes referred to as “Kegel” exercises, after the Western doctor who developed them.

The “pubococcygeus muscle,” or “PC muscle,” is a collective term for the group of pelvic-floor muscles that stretch from the pelvic bone to the tailbone, encircling the base of the vagina (or penis), the urethra, and the rectum. The muscles contract naturally during orgasm, partly because the pudendal nerve, which detects most genital and anal stimulation, runs through them, triggering most of their reactions and sending and receiv- ing arousal messages to and from the brain.

Known to increase sexual desire, sensation, and sexual pleasure; in- tensify and produce more orgasms; and help one become multiorgasmic, the pelvic-floor muscles are more responsive when better toned. The fol- lowing exercise helps the vagina to feel tighter to both the woman and her partner, whether she’s being stimulated by a finger, penis, or sex toy. Per- haps one of the greatest benefits of a toned PC muscle is increased sexual self-confidence. To feel the contractions, place your finger on your peri- neum as you do the exercise.

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EXERCISE 4.4:
Basic PC Toning

1. Empty your bladder.
   
2. Identify the PC muscle by using the same muscles that stop the flow of your urine stream.
   
3. Squeeze them tightly for three to ten seconds, with the goal being to eventually hold the contraction for a full ten seconds.
   
4. Release.
   
5. Repeat ten times. Do up to three sets of ten reps per day.
   

You can alter this exercise by doing fast contractions—tightening and relaxing the muscles as rapidly as possible, yet still using control—for ten seconds.

Kabazzah is an Eastern sexual skill, often a part of tantric practice, wherein a woman mounts a man and then moves only her internal mus- cles to bring him to climax while he does nothing more than stay relaxed.

Using a stone or crystal egg (not a real egg) can help you to further strengthen and control your vaginal muscles. You will exercise not only your PC muscle but also your urogenital and pelvic diaphragms, further strengthening and toning the entire area and developing sexual response.

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EXERCISE 4.5:
Egg-cellent

Don’t try this variation until you’ve built up your strength with basic Kegel exercises. This exercise should be done using a stone or crystal egg.

1. Stand with your feet slightly wider than hip distance apart, knees slightly bent.
   
2. Insert the egg, large end first, into the vagina.
   
3. Contract the muscle group around your vaginal opening (this helps keep the egg from slipping out).
   
4. While inhaling, contract the vaginal canal muscles directly below the cervix as you simultaneously contract the lower (PC) muscles.
   
5. Squeeze the middle section of the vaginal canal so that you have a good grip on the egg, and then push it downward.
   
6. Inhale and squeeze harder, so as to slowly move the egg upward.
   
7. Continue with a slow and steady up-down movement, using a firm grip.
   

As you get better at doing this, you will gradually be able to increase the speed of this motion.

X-Spot

The X-spot refers to the
cervix,
the opening to a woman’s uterus (see Fig- ure 3.1 on page 35). It has long been considered a hot spot in Taoist tra- dition, which views both the cervical area and tip of the penis as corre- sponding to the heart. It is the interaction between these two hot spots, heterosexually speaking, that triggers pleasure. Since it has relatively few nerve endings, the cervix is more responsive to pressure than to touch; some women, especially those who have undergone multiple childbirths, find pressure applied by a penis or a sex toy arousing. On the other hand, many women have no reaction to cervical stimulation or find it downright painful, especially during hard, deep thrusting.

It is common to stimulate the cervix with the tip of the penis or with a sex toy, but lovers can also explore manually stimulating it by inserting one or more fingers into the vaginal canal and encircling the cervix. You can glide over this area with your fingertips, slowly applying pressure, with most of the direct pressure being absorbed by the palm of your hand against the mons pubis. You can also circle the X-spot with gentle little pokes, if that feels good to her.

While doing either move, place the palm of your other hand over the middle of her lower belly and apply slow, deep pressure. This will activate the Gate of Origin acupressure point, located directly above the uterine area (see Figure 4.2), as well as her sacral chakra. Let her know that you are trying to stimulate this point so she can tune into that area of her body and its energy, making the action more of a team effort. Sucking on this acupressure point will have arousing effects as well.

FIGURE 4.2: The Gate of Origin acupressure point

Any cervical action can trigger movement in the internal uterine wall and its broad supporting ligaments, causing radiating sensations and re- sulting in a
cervical orgasm.
Considered a type of
internal, vaginal,
or
uterine orgasm,
this stellar reaction is a deep, intense O, believed to ema- nate from the stimulation of nerves and nerve endings around the cervix and upper vaginal canal, especially in the peritoneum, the large membrane that lines the abdominal cavity.

M-Spot

The hot spot that Christa Schulte dubs the
M-spot
(as in “mmmm”) in her book
Tantric Sex for Women
can only be felt after a woman has already had an orgasm. The M-spot lies just below the mouth of the uterus (see Figure 3.1 on page 35). When the vagina lifts up, forming a “roof ” or “tent” of sorts, the spot can be felt at the inner peak of the tent. Most easily stimu- lated with a long finger or a toy and by using a constant, soft tapping or vibrating motion, this spot shoots energy to a woman’s heart chakra and third eye chakra, lengthening her climactic high. Like the cervix, this hot spot can also be triggered via the Gate of Origin acupressure point.

Yoga Poses for Vulval Stimulation

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POSE 4.1:
Vulval and Root Chakra Stimulation

Her position:
You get into Double Wind Releasing Pose (Pavanamuk- tasana), lying on your back with your knees bent. Instead of hugging your knees into your chest, allow them to drop open. After your partner is on top of you, wrap your legs around them.

Her partner’s position:
Lie between her legs on your belly, legs straight together, toes curled under in Cobra Pose (Bhujangasana), i.e., your weight is supported by your hands and toes and your back is arched so that the crown of your head is pointing upward. Pressing your hips downward as you extend your upper body into a slightly arched backbend will stimu- late her vulva.

Hold for up to one minute.

YOGA POSE 4.1: Vulval and root chakra stimulation