Read Treasure Fever! Online

Authors: Andy Griffiths

Treasure Fever!

Andy Griffiths is one of Australia's funniest and most successful writers. His books have sold over 3 million copies worldwide, have featured on the New York Times bestseller lists, and have won over 30 Australian children's choice awards.

 

ALSO BY ANDY GRIFFITHS

AND ILLUSTRATED BY TERRY DENTON

Just Tricking!

Just Annoying!

Just Stupid!

Just Crazy!

Just Disgusting!

Just Shocking!

The Bad Book

The Cat on the Mat is Flat

What Bumosaur is That?

ALSO BY ANDY GRIFFITHS

The Day My Bum Went Psycho

Zombie Bums From Uranus

Bumageddon: The Final Pongflict

Pan Macmillan Australia

The characters and events in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

First published 2008 in Pan by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Limited
1 Market Street, Sydney

Copyright © Backyard Stories Pty Ltd 2008

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication data:

Griffiths, Andy, 1961–

Treasure fever! / author, Andy Griffiths.

Sydney : Pan Macmillan, 2008.

978 0 330 42389 2 (pbk.)

Schooling around; no. 1
Griffiths, Andy, 1961– Schooling around

For children.

Humorous stories, Australian.
Children's stories, Australian.

A823.4

Illustration by Nathan Jurevicius
Typeset in 12/16 pt New Aster by Post Pre-press Group
Printed in Australia by McPherson's Printing Group

Papers used by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Ltd are natural, recyclable products made from wood grown in sustainable forests. The manufacturing processes conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin.

These electronic editions published in 2008 by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Ltd
1 Market Street, Sydney

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

All rights reserved. This publication (or any part of it) may not be reproduced or transmitted, copied, stored, distributed or otherwise made available by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical) or by any means (photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise) without prior written permission from the publisher.

Schooling Around 1: Treasure Fever!

Andy Griffiths

Adobe eReader format: 978-1-74198-175-9
Online format: 978-1-74198-178-0
EPUB format: 978-1-74262-213-2

Macmillan Digital Australia
www.macmillandigital.com.au

Visit
www.panmacmillan.com.au
to read more about all our books and to buy both print and ebooks online. You will also find features, author interviews and news of any author events.

Contents

Cover

About Andy Griffiths

Also by Andy Griffiths

Title page

Copyright

Dedication

1: Once upon a time

2: A very unusual morning

3: Principal Greenbeard

4: What you should know about Principal Greenbeard

5:Mr Brainfright

6: What teachers
don't
know

7: How to breathe

8: Class 5C to the rescue

9: Mrs Cross

10: Mr Brainfright's important lesson no. 1

11: A man, a goat, a wolf and a cabbage

12: The exact number of people in the world who care more about lollipops than me

13: A small wet blob

14: A solution

15: Fred Durkin

16: Mrs Rosethorn

17: Principal Greenbeard's office

18: Treasure!

19: Making history

20: Déjà vu

21: Mr Spade

22: Mr Brainfright's important lesson no. 2

23: Skull Island

24: Mr Shush

25: Grant Gadget

26: The buried-treasure detector

27: Who blabbed?

28: A wonderful morning

29: A brilliant idea

30: Dirty double-double crosser

31: How to make a fake treasure map

32: Treasure fever!

33: Regaining Skull Island

34: How to make friends with a banana

35: Mr Brainfright's important lesson no. 3

36: How to eat a banana

37: What to do with a banana peel

38: Mrs Cross gets REALLY cross

39: Mrs Cross gets even crosser, maybe even the crossest she's ever been

40: The talk

41: Meeting

42: Ask an expert

43: Preparation

44: The big dig

45: Jackhammer

46: Goodbye, Mr Brainfright

47: A brilliant idea

48: Fred's revenge

49: What we EXPECTED to see in the treasure chest

50: What we ACTUALLY saw in the treasure chest

51: How to disrespect a Durkin

52: To the rescue

53: Return to the treasure

54: Mrs Cross escapes

55: Learning to fly

56: Mr Brainfright's last really important lesson

57: The last chapter

For Miss S

1
Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was—and still is—a school called Northwest Southeast Central School.

Northwest Southeast Central School is located in the southeast of a town called Northwest, which is located to the northwest of a big city called Central City.

You don't need to know where Central City is, because it's not important. What
is
important is the school. In this school there is a classroom. And in that classroom there is a fifth-grade class. Most important of all, in that class of fifth-grade students there is a student named Henry McThrottle who likes telling stories.

That's where I come in.

I'm Henry McThrottle . . . and this is my latest story.

2
A very unusual morning

It all started one morning when our teacher, Mrs Chalkboard, was late for class.

Now you might not think that's so remarkable, but believe me, it was for Mrs Chalkboard. Because Mrs Chalkboard was
never
late. She was usually there on the dot at 8.36 am, but that particular morning 8.36 am came and went and there was still no Mrs Chalkboard.

Not that anybody seemed to mind very much.

Clive Durkin was amusing himself by chewing up little bits of paper and flicking them at people.

Jack Japes was bent over his desk drawing cartoons. Jack was always drawing cartoons. He's the best drawer in the class.

Gretel Armstrong, the strongest girl in the school, was arm wrestling with herself. She had to do this because nobody else would arm wrestle with her. Jenny Friendly was cheering her on. It
seemed like Gretel's left arm was winning.

Grant Gadget was madly pushing buttons on some sort of electronic device. Grant Gadget was
always
pushing buttons on some sort of electronic device.

Gina and Penny Palomino were grooming the long rainbow-coloured manes of their toy horses. Gina and Penny were
always
grooming their toy horses. And if they weren't doing that they were riding imaginary horses around the school. Gina and Penny
loved
horses.

The rest of the class was engaged in activities of more or less importance. Mostly less.

The only people who seemed at all worried by Mrs Chalkboard's non-arrival were the class captains, Fiona McBrain and David Worthy. David kept looking anxiously at his watch and checking it against the clock on the wall. Fiona was standing at the door of the classroom and peering down the corridor. ‘Still not here!' she said. ‘I can't believe Mrs Chalkboard is
still
not here!'

Suddenly, Jenny grabbed my arm. ‘Henry!' she said. ‘Something's wrong with Newton!'

I looked across at Newton Hooton. He was clutching his desk as if it was going to float away if he didn't hold it to the ground. His face was white. His eyes were shut tight. I could see that he was on the verge of a panic attack.

Now the thing you've got to understand about Newton Hooton is that this wasn't particularly unusual. Newton was pretty much
always
on the verge of a panic attack.

Newton, you see, was scared of, well, everything! Spiders, busy roads, heights, lightning, cotton buds, butterflies . . . you name it, he was scared of it. I wasn't sure what had made him so scared this time. All I knew was that he was more scared than I'd ever seen him.

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