Treasure Fever! (19 page)

We headed back to Skull Island where the rest of the class were trying—not that hard—to get Fred out of the hole. We told them the good news about Mr Brainfright becoming our regular teacher and everybody cheered. Well, everybody except Fred, whose head was still down the hole. Then Gretel lifted Fred out, and we spent the rest of the morning filling in all the holes we'd dug.

When we were settled back at our desks, Mr Brainfright clapped his hands.

We all craned forward, wondering what crazy and amazing lesson he would attempt to teach us this time.

‘I'd like you all to take out your
Maths is Fun
textbook and turn to page forty-five,' he said.

Nobody moved. It wasn't exactly what we were expecting.

‘Is there a problem?' said Mr Brainfright.

‘Yes,' said Fiona.

‘But I thought you liked maths, Fiona,' said Mr Brainfright.

‘I do,' said Fiona, ‘but, well, after learning how to breathe, skid on a banana peel, re-enact history and dig for treasure, maths somehow just doesn't seem as much fun as it used to.'

‘Is that so?' said Mr Brainfright, slamming his book shut and frisbeeing it expertly out the window. ‘In that case it's lucky I was just kidding! What we're actually going to do today is learn how to fly.'

‘With our own personal jet-packs?' asked Grant.

‘No,' said Mr Brainfright. ‘Like birds. It will come in handy if you are ever jumping out of a plane and your parachute fails! Now, everybody stand up and flap your arms!'

‘I'm scared of flying!' said Newton. ‘It's dangerous!'

‘Not if you have a lucky rabbit's foot, it's not,' said Mr Brainfright. ‘And especially not if you keep flapping your arms. It's only when you stop flapping your arms that flying is dangerous.'

I smiled at Jenny. She smiled back.

‘Will we be tested on this?' asked Fiona.

It is only when you stop flapping your arms that flying is dangerous.

Well, that's my story.

And, just in case you're wondering, it's all true.

Every last bit.

If you're ever passing through Northwest, and you happen to be passing Northwest Southeast Central School, feel free to drop in.

We're pretty easy to find. Our classroom is the first on the left as you go up the steps.

And our teacher wears a purple jacket.

But don't forget to call in at the office first and sign the visitors' book.

And don't waste time while you're doing it. As I think I have mentioned, Mrs Rosethorn does not like time wasters.

Anyway, it would be great to see you, and if you enjoyed that story then don't worry, I've got plenty more!

And they're all true.

Every last one.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, Mr Brainfright
did
teach us to fly. It's not easy, though. You
do
have to keep flapping your arms the whole time.