Underneath It All (Sexual Misconduct Volume II) (4 page)

Avery

Xander
and I ended our session there. He’d opened up tremendously, and I didn’t want to push him any further. I went to his place, and we agreed to avoid talking about it again until our next session the following week.

In the three days since Xander’s confession,
I still didn’t know how to feel about it all. It was as though I were completely focused on helping him move on, and I didn’t allow myself to consider how severe a mistake he’d made.

“
Dr. Shaw?”

“
Yes, Angela.” I filed away a folder and picked another up off my desk.

“There’s an Ian Pierce here to see you.” My hand stilled as I was placing the folder into my briefcase.

“
Should I send him in?”

I was already running late after my last patient and
Xander would be calling me nonstop in a few minutes if I didn’t pick up.

“
Uhh… yeah, send him in.” I shut the case and watched as Angela ushered Ian into the room. He looked nervous. I felt anxious. After hearing everything that went down between the brothers, I didn’t know what to expect.

“
Dr. Shaw.” He closed the distance between us, standing on the other side of my desk.

“
What are you doing here?” I was actually waiting with bated breath to see where this was going.

“
I hoped we could talk about Xander.” He met my apprehensive gaze.

“
What is there to talk about?” I tried not to give away my nervousness.

“
I don’t know how much you know—”

“
Everything.” If his purpose was to out his brother, then he was too late.

“
In his words.
His
side.” He placed his palm on my desk and leaned in.

“
There are no one else’s words to rely on.”

“
There could be.” He raised an eyebrow. “I could tell you my side, because I’m sure he made me look like I was a dick who stole his wife.”

“
I think you did that yourself.”

He flinched.

Simmer down on the animosity, Avery.

He
nodded, wearing a smile that didn’t touch his green eyes. “He’s got you all turned around. You’re all
Team
Xander
with no clue how much of a dirty player he really is.”

“
What do you want from me?” Already, I grew tired of his games.

“
Someone to talk to. Someone who can listen to both sides of the story and help us both deal.” He straightened and crossed his arms again.

“
This is a conflict of interest in so many ways.” I shook my head.

“
You appear to be a woman who breaks rules for the greater good.”

And what would that greater good be here? Fixing their relationship. Helping them move past this tragedy.
I had to admit, in my head, this seemed like a great plan.

“
And this is not part of some revenge tactic?” I didn’t think so. He genuinely appeared to be a man who’d lost his way and wanted help finding it. Maybe there was still hope for them.

“
No.”

I eyed him warily
. “Make an appointment with Angela, but no bullshit. This will be a real session. You want to fix yourself or your relationship with your brother, that’s what I do.”

He
nodded. “Thanks.” He turned and left, making me exactly fifteen minutes behind schedule to get to Xander’s house.

*~*~*

“What took you so long?” Xander asked soon as I walked through his front door. I’d already been running late, then Ian came by, and then I got stuck in traffic.

“
I had a surprise visit as I was getting ready to leave.”
Better if I break it to him now than he find out later.

“
Really? Kind of like the first time I came there.” He joked, but he was actually spot on.

“
Almost exactly like that. Except it was Ian.” He stilled, then took a step back and stared at me, bewildered.

“
Ian came to see you?” he asked slowly.

“
Yup.” I walked through the living room and put my briefcase and jacket on the dining room table. I turned to find him leaning against the doorframe, a furious look on his face.

“
How long was he there?” He narrowed his eyes.

“
Fifteen minutes.”

“
Fifteen minutes! Why the fuck didn’t you kick him out?” He closed in on me, backing me up to the wall with his piercing gaze.

“
He wanted to talk. He looked like he needed my help.”

He
let out a mirthless laugh and caged me in with his arms on either side of me. “The first time I came to your office, I had to make an appointment and wait to talk to you. But the minute Ian walks in, you blow
me
off because
he
needs to talk?”

“
Maybe I was a little curious to hear what he had to say.” I placed a palm against his chest because he was crowding me and his anger was palpable.

“
Stay the fuck away from him, Avery.” His fingers ran down my face, piercing green eyes locked and loaded—ready for battle. He was seconds away from unleashing all that rage.

“
I can hear the accusation in your tone, and there’s nothing there, Xander.
Nothing
.” I met his angry gaze and tried to reassure him with a gentle caress.

“
Next time he shows up, call security. Or call me.”

“
I can’t.” I sighed.

“
Why?” His eyes widened.

“
He has an appointment next week.” I was going to stand my ground on this no matter how angry he was going to get.

“
Fuck no! Cancel,” he demanded.

“
I can’t.”

“
Can’t or won’t?” He moved in closer, his face a mere inch away from mine.

“
Won’t.” I held my ground.

H
e held my face in his hands, his eye searching mine. “You’re not going to do this shit to me. You told me if I opened up to you, you’d help me, not him.”

“
Why can’t I help you both? He’s your brother.”

“
Because you can’t.” He leaned in and kissed me, roughly. His tongue plundered my mouth in viciously angry strokes. His hands moved to my ass, fingers digging into my flesh as he lifted me and aligned me with his erection. I tried pushing him off so I could reassure him Ian wouldn’t come between us, but he growled.

“
Don’t push me away. I need to be inside you.” He continued kissing me. His fingers slid up my thigh until they met the wet crotch of my panties. He teased my clit through the silky material, causing me to shudder.

Unexpectedly,
he tore off my panties with a sharp tug. I gasped into his mouth, but he was too obsessed with getting inside me to even notice. He pulled down his shorts, lifted me by my waist, and impaled me with his thick cock.

Slowly
, he rocked into me, his cock stretching and filling me perfectly. His head was buried in my neck and he seemed to have calmed from his rage.

I
thought
he’d calmed, but really, he was still simmering, mumbling incoherent words against my skin. Minutes later, he lifted his head and said, “Show me your tits.”

I quickly
tore my shirt open and unfastened the front clasp to my bra. His thrusts were steady as he leaned in and sucked a nipple into his mouth. My back arched and his cock slid in deeper, hitting my G-spot and making me jolt. My pussy clenched as he reared back and slammed into me. He released my nipple. One hand on my hip, the other at my neck as he held me captive.

“
Say my name.”

I
stared at him, moaning raggedly with each powerful thrust of his cock. His fingers tightened on my neck.

“
Say my
fucking
name,” he demanded.

“
Xander,” I groaned. He went feral, taking me hard and fast with a fierce look on his face and his hand wrapped around my neck.

Fuck!
Why does it turn me on so much when he turns into a possessive lunatic?

My
pussy was so wet, his cock exquisitely invasive, prodding me, demanding my orgasm. Every few minutes, he would loosen his hold on my neck, then tighten it again when I’d start to move. It was clear he was laying down his claim, and I was to stay put and receive it.

“
You’re mine,” he growled, his cock drumming that fact into me. His pelvis brushed against my pulsating clit. “Come, Avery.”

He
jerked, the plump head of his cock torturing my spot. “Come right the fuck now.”

And
I did. I fucking soared from the overload of beautiful sensations. His cock pulsed inside my clenching pussy. He hissed.

“
Fuck… Avery, fuck yeah…” His head dropped on my chest and he bit my nipple as he came. The sharp pain and pleasure from the bite sent me into another orgasm. This one not as strong, but enough to cause my body to go lax from the overload.

In
that moment, I felt the warm gush of his cum inside me and realized he’d forgotten the condom. Or maybe he’d purposely left his imprint in me—in the most possessive claiming I’d ever experienced.

“
Xander?” I pushed against his shoulder.

“
Hmm?” he mumbled against my collarbone.

“
You didn’t use a condom.”

He
picked up his head and looked at me in confusion, lifted me off his cock, and let my legs slide down. He glanced down, smirked, and then pushed me back against the wall, claiming my lips in an aggressive kiss. His fingers grazed my clit. Then he was finger fucking me as aggressively as he was kissing me.

Within
minutes, I came again. I whimpered and sagged against the wall from the extent of my release. As I gasped for air, he stuck his finger in my mouth and said, “Suck it.”

I eyed him angrily but did as he
commanded anyway, the combination of his cum and mine deliciously assaulting my tongue. “No more condoms,” he said as he pulled out his fingers and fixed his shorts. He buried his fingers into my hair and pulled me close until his lips were at my ear. “From now on, I want you to taste like me every day.”

He
walked away, leaving me mentally scrambled yet absolutely positive that he just etched his name in me and I’d never be able to remove it.

Avery

“I shitted on my life.” Ian sighed.

He
wasn’t as put together as the last time he came to my office. I got the slightest feeling that he’d made an effort to look presentable last week. His hair was disheveled, eyes bloodshot, and a couple days’ worth of growth covered his face.

“I
know Xander probably painted me out as the villain—”

“
Don’t worry about what Xander talks to me about in his sessions. They have no bearing here. For the next hour, Xander doesn’t exist other than when you mention him,” I stated matter-of-factly.

“
Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I loved her. I wouldn’t have hurt my brother that way if I didn’t love her.” He scratched his growing beard and slumped in his chair.

Jessica mu
st have been some kind of fantastic. Years later, she was still heavily affecting these men emotionally.

“
Did you come here for help or to redeem yourself?” I wasn’t interested in being the next woman in between their pissing contest.

“
Both.” I could deal with that answer. As long as I knew he wanted help, then I’d be there to assist him.

“
I came here because after that night, I spiraled down into hell, and Xander’s life escalated. I still don’t understand why he’s seeing a psychiatrist when he’s always so aloof about everything.” He hung his head, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.

“
Ian?”

“
Hmm?” he glanced up at me.

“
Can we talk about you and how you lost control of your life?” He knew I was trying to steer him away from all the Xander remarks, so he went back to why we were really here.

“
After Jessica died, I blamed myself. I couldn’t move past it. I tried, but shit like that follows you day and night. That night Xander walked in on us, she was supposed to come to my place, but she canceled. We’d argued earlier in the day about her leaving Xander. I should’ve left her alone. I should’ve never gone over there to talk to her.”

“H
ave you ever talked to anyone about Jessica? What happened, how she died?”

He s
hook his head. “My parents were all about Xander. They were so disappointed in me, they barely spoke to me for weeks.”

“
How’d that make you feel?” Yeah, I used
that
line.

“
The way it always made me feel. Despite being older than Xander, I’d never live up to him.”

“
Was that what you were trying to do? Live up to Xander?” I jotted down a few lines on my notepad as I observed him.

He s
hrugged. “I don’t know. I just always felt like Xander was everything they wanted. It was like they had me, but I was missing something so they had Xander and everything clicked for them. I went to law school and followed in my dad’s footsteps, but it was always about
Xander’s scholarships, Xander’s next audition,
how
Xander’s wife wasn’t good enough for him
.”

“
I’m going to ask you a question, and I need you to answer it in all honesty and know your answer will always stay between us.” I prepped him.

He
nodded.

“
Were you with Jessica to get back at Xander? Because you knew how much she meant to him?”

He
looked away.

“
Ian,” I prompted. I didn’t want him to get inside his head and talk himself out of the truth.

“
Ian…”

He
looked back at me with glassy eyes. “Yes, at first it was, but then it became so much more.”

I shook my head, understanding.
“When did things change?”

“
Xander had been bringing her around since she was eighteen. I was twenty-one and I was old enough to know when a woman was throwing hints my way.” He ran a hand through his overgrown blond hair.

“
So she was the aggressor.”

“
She tried to tempt me with her body, but I was more interested in her heart.”

“
Her heart?” I looked up at him over my glasses, a little surprised by that answer.

“
I wanted to take someone Xander loved and make them love me more. It was stupid, but to me, it proved I was as good as he was.”

I was beginning to see how deep his hostility ran.
“When did it change?”

“
Right before she married Xander.”

“
Were you two already sleeping together?” I was pretty sure I already knew the answer, but I needed him to confirm.

He
nodded. “Almost from the first time we’d met.”

“
So once she decided she was going to marry Xander, what happened?”

“
She didn’t
decide
she was going to marry Xander. One week I’d fucked her and she told me she was falling for me, and the next, Xander had dragged her off to Vegas and they eloped.”

“
How did that make you feel?” I scribbled more on my notepad, glancing up at him to gauge his current feelings.

“
That’s when I realized how much she’d gotten to me.”

“
And it had nothing to do with Xander having won?” I narrowed my eyes.

“
No.” He shook his head. “I don’t know. It felt real. I was tired of sharing her with him. I loved her, and he rushed her off and married her as if he knew about us.”

“
How long did you… have you harbored this jealousy of your brother?” I cleared my throat, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose.

“
As long as I can remember. I was loved for three years, and one day my parents came home with this baby, and I was abandoned. I mean, they included me in everything, but I always felt like they doted after Xander like he was some kind of prince.” He fell silent.

I was speechless. I don
’t even think Ian realized his love for his brother’s wife was based on a lifetime of jealousy. Getting him to really see things objectively and learn to accept who he was without comparison to Xander would be tough.

I called an end to the session and scheduled him for the following week. I was always sure to keep
Xander and Ian’s appointments days apart. Last thing I needed was for them to run into each other in the one place I was trying to make their refuge.

*~*~*

“How’d your session with Ian go?” Xander asked.

“
Good.”

“
Good.
That’s it?”

“
Yup.” Xander followed me through the kitchen as I pulled down dishes and took the takeout Chinese food I’d picked up out of the bag.

“
What did he tell you?” He was obviously fishing.

I furrowed my brow and shook
my head. “We can’t talk about that.”

I piled the food on two plates and threw
away the cartons.

“
Why not?” He tried to sound nonchalant, but his eyes gave away his desperation to know what transpired in our session.

“
That would be the equivalent of me telling him what we talk about during our session.” I knew he’d never want that.

“
Not the same,” he said as he sat next to me and watched me eat rather than joining me.

“
Why isn’t it?” I glanced at him.

“
Because he’s not fucking you.” He stared at me with a straight face.

He can
’t be fucking serious.

“
Seriously,” he said as though he’d read my mind. “You’re supposed to be on
my
side.”

“
In that office, there are no sides, Xander, and I’m not breaking doctor-patient confidentiality because you think your dick has godlike powers that should make me defile my ethics.”

“
I already defiled your ethics. Months ago, when I fucked you on your desk.” He pulled a lopsided grin.

I grimaced at him and decided to go back to eating. If I let
Xander egg me on, we’d be arguing, then fucking, then arguing again.

“
How am I supposed to know he’s not turning you against me?”

I dropped my fork and glared at him.
“You have to trust me and know I’m smart enough not to get manipulated by Ian.”

“
She was smart too.” He looked at me with worried eyes, then got up and left the kitchen. I watched him as he sat in front of the TV but never even glanced at it. He sat on the couch with his head back, staring up at the ceiling.

I wanted to be angry at him for not trusting me
, but I knew where he was coming from. He’d lost someone to his brother already, and his desperate need to cling to me and keep me away from Ian was just self-preservation.

I wrapped up his food, washed my
dish, and headed into the living room. I straddled him. He lifted his head, moving his hands to my waist.

“
Hey, you,” I whispered.

“
Hey,” he replied in a similar soft tone.

“
I know this is hard for you. I’m not trying to make it harder by helping Ian.” I stroked down his face with my finger.

“
Then why are you doing it?” His eyes and his tone pleaded with me for some kind of explanation.

“
Because I want to help you.”

“
By helping him.” He looked unconvinced.

“
Did you ever stop and think that everything that’s wrong with you started with him?” He turned his head and appeared to consider it. I reached out and turned his face back to mine. “If the two of you don’t find a way to heal from all this hurt, you’ll never find your peace.”

He
leaned in and kissed me, then pulled back. “I never wanted to be this guy again. This guy who’s so totally consumed with a woman that everything seems to be closing in on me when that’s threatened.”

I ran my hand through his hair and he leaned into it.
“I’m working on saving you both. But I need you to know that no matter what, if you need me to… I’ll be your safe haven.”