Unfiltered & Unlawful (The Unfiltered Series) (7 page)

Then I walked around the floor where the corpse had been, but other than that slight deviation, I walked straight to the door and out to the street. This was it. I was walking out of my job, abandoning my apartment, and leaving Rio Verde.

There was one stop I needed to make yet, one goodbye I needed to give, and then I’d go home and finish packing. Potential videos, witnesses who spilled our secret, dealers looking for cash and drugs… there was a growing list of reasons to get gone.

I drove over to Sinners Ink with something heavy in the pit of my stomach. Adam wasn’t going to be as easy to leave as the rest of Rio Verde. We were friends; he was Tommy’s cousin. Neither fact meant that he’d think me taking off with Tommy last minute was a great idea. It actually meant the opposite. He’d known Tommy and me during our days of throwing things at each other, screaming obscenities, and then screwing in the bathroom of some bar. He’d never quite reached the point of telling us that we were bad together, but he had been very encouraging when either of us mentioned breaking up for good.

This early, Sinners Ink was barely open. The light in the window was on, and when I pushed on the door, it opened for me, but most of the shop lights were still off.

“Hello?” I called as I stepped inside.

The only sound was the
fwump
of the door closing behind me.

“Adam?” I walked farther into the waiting area. Racks of flash art jutted out from the walls in mounted poster frames, and other available images were in flat frames covering a lot of the open space. Interspersed among the available tattoos were several magazine covers that highlighted either an artist who currently worked at SI or one who used to work there. Tattooists were often a transient lot, doing stints at shops while they traveled. Adam had rolled into town a couple of years ago to check on Tommy, and then he’d stayed. Several of the framed magazine covers were his.

A blue-haired girl with a lot of piercings came out of the back room. “Hey Sugar. What’s up?”

“Is Adam around?” I asked.

“At his station,” she said. “He’ll be out to check his schedule in a few minutes or I can tell him you’re here.”

“I’ll wait.” I couldn’t remember the girl’s name. We’d been at parties together a few times, but I didn’t really know her. I smiled to show I remembered her, though. “How are you?”

“Eh. You know how it is. Too much work, not enough play.” She smiled. “I get my kicks by chasing out the bunnies when I can. It would be more fun, but Mr. Sex on A Stick won’t let me use the broom to sweep them out. He lets them hang around, even though he’s been bunny-free for a couple months now.”

I raised both brows. “Really?”

“Oh yeah. You mustn’t have seen him, or you’d have noticed. It’s doing
great
things for his mood, too,” she added sarcastically.

The idea of Adam being celibate was as likely as Tommy quitting drugs and smokes. I guess it was the season for a lot of changes. I shook my head. Adam hadn’t seemed surly when I’d seen him.

“Oh,” I said. I couldn’t think of what else there was to say.

“If I didn’t have to work with him, I’d give the boy a pity fuck. Can’t screw where I work though. Boys get all clingy and turn into lost puppies, and then I’m left dealing with the guilt of kicking puppies.”

I grinned, trying to picture six foot of muscle and ink being called a puppy. Maybe it would work if he was a Rottweiler or pit bull, but Adam didn’t strike me as someone who’d ever be very puppy-ish. Sometimes I thought he had to have been born fully formed like one of those gods in myths. The idea of him as anything other than intense seemed too strange to consider.

Then Adam walked into the waiting area like he needed to appear to prove my point. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy, just jeans and a black shirt. The jeans were well-fit without being tight, and the shirt was his usual, a t-shirt with a slogan. This one was from a shop called Naked Ink claiming: “be instantly sexier: just add ink.” With him as an advertisement, I was betting people would buy into that theory pretty willingly.

All of his edges seemed to soften when he saw me. He smiled, arrived at the wrong conclusion about my appearance, and said, “Hey! I’m glad you came in after all. I think I have at least an hour.”

I felt like a mountain of guilt had just fallen on me. “Adam,” I started.

He turned away and said, “Betsey, what’s my first appointment?”

Apparently that was the blue-haired girl’s name because she went over to the desk to get the appointment book.

“Adam!” I said louder. “I’m not here for that.”

Betsey laughed, a husky sound that made me think she smoked far too much far too often, and asked, “Ooooh, are you here to help him with his prob—”

“Out, Bets.” Adam cut her off and scowled. His already impressive biceps bulged as he crossed his arms. “Go check the stock or something.”

“Seriously?” She laughed. “I’ll go have a smoke. I’m not your errand girl.”

“Actually, you are,” he muttered.

She gave him the sort of indulgent smile I’d seen mothers give misbehaving children. “You keep thinking that, and I’ll tell the bunnies you’re pining after that special girl who shagged you after hours.”

“Which one?” I asked, despite myself.

“Exactly,” Betsey said with a smirk as she opened the door to the parking lot. “So many girls will suddenly think they’re the one.”

“Bitch,” Adam muttered.

Betsey blew him a kiss and went outside.

“That girl’s a menace.” He shook his head. “She’s been training though, and once she’s ready to work on her own, she’s going to be amazing. Her art on paper is incredible already. It’s different working on skin, but she’s got the raw skills and the drive.”

An unwelcome flare of jealousy filled me—and it was followed quickly by guilt. I had no right to care whether he thought Betsey was amazing. I had no rights at all where Adam was concerned, especially now that I was going to make things work with Tommy.

“What’s up? If you’re not here for ink, did…” His words faded away suddenly, and I knew what he’d seen. My hair had been hiding my bruised face, but when I moved he’d seen it. I could tell by the way his gaze narrowed, and he began looking at the rest of me.

I squirmed. I knew how I looked. My face was bruised from what happened at work, and even though I had a long-sleeved shirt on, some of my bruises still showed. I watched Adam’s friendly expression fade as he noticed my injuries.

Adam caught my hand in his and pushed the sleeve back. “Something you wanted to tell me, Sasha?”

I met his angry gaze and said, “Tommy and I talked last night.”

He raised both brows. “This is from talking?”

I refused to look away. “We’re back together.”

“Are you a fucking masochist?” Adam stared at my wrist. “Is that it, Sasha? You like how he hurts you. What happens when he goes too far some night? The way you two fight is going to explode worse and worse.” He touched my bruised face and his anger seemed to vanish. “I don’t want that for either of you. I saw him last night, at The Blind Tiger. He chatted up some waitress after telling me how you’d come back to him. He left with her, but here you are covered in marks. Is that what you really want? A man who screws around, who hurts you, who gets you all fucked up on drugs? That’s who he is.”

I stepped backward. “What Tommy and I do is none of your business. I’m not one of your girls.”

He let out a sigh and muttered, “Whose fault is that?”

For a moment, I didn’t know what to do or say. I just stared at him. We were friends. That was
it
. He had to know as well as I did that we couldn’t be more.

“Do you really think I don’t notice the way you look at me?” He stepped closer, backing me up against the counter where Betsey conveniently wasn’t. “Do you know how easy it would be to
not
let my arm brush against you when I tattoo you? Do you think I’m like that with everyone?”

I stared at him, feeling thirteen kinds of stupid. I
had
thought that.

“I see you shiver when I touch you. It’s no accident when I let my arm rest on you so the vibrations of the machine go into your body.” He put a hand on either side of me, trapping me between his muscular arms. “It’s the most unprofessional thing I’ve ever done, Sasha. The way I touch you when I work on your tattoo is not normal…. I can’t help myself though. You looked like you were going to fall apart when I started tattooing your stomach, and I
wanted
you to. You don’t belong with Tommy… and—” He broke off.

Adam stepped closer, and then it wasn’t just his arms keeping me in place. We were chest-to-chest, hip-to-hip.

I closed my eyes and took a steady breath. I couldn’t do this. Not to him. Not to Tommy. Not to myself.

He leaned his forehead against mine and whispered, “Don’t go back to him, Sasha. You’re no good together. You know I’m right. Think about the dreams you said you had for the future. Do you see him giving you that little house and kids? Do you want to raise kids with a small time drug dealer?”

I felt like my already unstable nerves were about to shatter. “He
loves
me.”

Adam’s lips pressed together in a harsh line. I’d seen that look when he was about two minutes from a fight, but I’d never seen him look at
me
like that.

Silently, he stepped away from me.

I stumbled a little from the loss of his body against mine. I closed my eyes for a moment, attempting to find some sort of composure. The only plan I had was pretending the last few minutes hadn’t happened.

I opened my eyes and stared at Adam as I announced, “Tommy and I are headed out of town for a while. If I give you my key, could you just… hold it? I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”

Adam walked over to the door, locked it, and flipped off the big neon sign that said OPEN. It was as close to a notice that I was in trouble as I was going to get. This wasn’t the good sort of trouble either.

“Don’t,” I said.

He folded those beautiful tattooed arms over his chest, making the already big muscles bulge. “This is more than getting back with him. What happened?”

“Nothing,” I lied. I wished I didn’t have to lie, but a man was dead and I had a bunch of drug money now. Tommy was out turning the drugs into more money. The number of things that were crazy illegal was ridiculous. I didn’t ask for any of it to happen. I’d rather the drugs and the money were in the live hands of the creep that came into The Coffee Cave, but that wasn’t possible. I wasn’t going to say I was sorry that Jess had shot that guy either. I still wasn’t sure if he’d have shot
me
. At the very least, he’d have continued to beat me.

“You can talk to me,” Adam said. “We’re still friends, aren’t we?”

I nodded. “Always.”

“Then don’t lie to me,” he said in a gentle voice.

Even after the ugly things I had just said, he wanted to help me. There was something in Tommy and Adam’s DNA that was fucked up. I was pretty sure I didn’t deserve either of them, but Tommy at least knew that I wasn’t a good person. He’d seen my temper and kissed me afterward. He’d seen me so high that I couldn’t speak, and he’d fucked me till I was okay again. I could be awful, and Tommy still loved me.

Adam deserved someone better than me. I’d ruin him. But Tommy was a mess like me. Maybe we could get better together. At the least, I wouldn’t mess him up any more than he was.

I tried to look innocent, smiling up at Adam, eyes wide. “Everything’s under control.”

He shook his head. “Do you know when people say that? When shit is all fucked to hell and back. What did Tommy do now? And how did you get involved?”

“Nothing. He didn’t do a thing.” I sighed. “Just keep hold of my key, okay? I’ll call you if I’m not coming back.”

He put his hands on my arms and held me steady when I tried to walk to the door of the shop. “Let me help you, Sasha. You need to stay away from him.”

Stronger girls have bent under the intense stare that Adam was giving me. He knew he was gorgeous, and he was giving me those I-care-about-you eyes. I didn’t even think he realized when he did it anymore. It was reflex. Like breathing.

“Come on, Sash,” he whispered my name while staring into my eyes. “Just talk to me.”

I felt like I was the only girl in the world when he looked at me that way and said my name. I wondered if he was well aware of how persuasive he could be. He always acted like he found all the bunny love confusing, but right now, I suddenly wanted to question everything I knew about Adam. How could he be unaware of the power he had over any woman with a pulse when he stared at them like that?

I was frozen under his gaze. He was too close, and I wanted to be a horrible person. It was all I could do to remind myself that Adam was forbidden… for so many reasons.

I wasn’t ever going to join the ranks of ink bunnies that only got tattoos as a way to proposition him or the club girls who were all but giving him handjobs in the bar. There were a million girls in line to get their one night wrapped around his hard, sweaty body. I wouldn’t become a million and one.

“Sasha, please just think about what you’re doing,” Adam urged. He had begun to rub his hands up and down my arms.

I bit my lip to keep the whimper from escaping. It wasn’t fair that he was touching me and looking at me like that now that I’d decided to leave town with Tommy. Up until today, I’d only felt his hands on my skin when he was tattooing me.

I stepped away, moving out of his reach. “I
have
. I’m leaving with Tommy. Just… just don’t ask questions. He didn’t do anything wrong. He’s taking care of me, and everything will be
fine
.”

He scowled, and his lips pressed together in a hard line. But he still held out his hand for my key.

I dropped my spare key into his palm. “Thank you.”

All he did was nod. Then he walked over to the door and pushed it open. He didn’t say a word as I walked past him. When I looked back, the sign lit up and said OPEN again, and Adam had disappeared inside Sinners Ink where I couldn’t see him anymore.

Adam watched Sasha walk away, a sight he was all too familiar with by now. Being patient for a girl wasn’t something he’d ever done… not before her. Usually a smile and a once over look was all it took for a girl to agree to whatever he suggested. That was all he’d needed for the past decade. Sasha was special though. Yeah, he saw how she looked at him, but she listened to him too. She insisted on doing everything the hard way—no hand-outs, no leaning on anyone. Hell, she was determined to get up and fix dinner for
him
when he stopped by her place because she had the flu. The girl was fierce. If he’d met her before she met Tommy, he might have considered setting down real roots for a change.