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Despite all of the emotions swirling around since he left me- rage, depression, helplessness- my desire for peace was the most overwhelming.

I'd fought my entire life. I tried to maintain a positive outlook for so long. And it got me nowhere. When I dropped into that hole in the ice, I would finally be at peace.

Carefully, I took another step. And then another. I laughed; why was I being careful? So I
wouldn't
fall in?

I hadn't laughed in days. The fact that I was finding so much joy in my new malaise was fitting.

The ice crackled beneath me as I inched to the center. My heart raced- any of my next moves could be it. I slowly inhaled a stinging cloud of air.

The serenity of the mountains, the clear air, and the beautiful cabin were so serene. Instead of focusing on my nervousness, I focused on the dreamy scenery that was keeping me company in my final moments. I took another step.

"What are you doing?"

2

I jerked around to the voice a few feet away from me, startled out of my state of Zen. Derek took a few steps on the ice.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him, thankful the darkness concealed the embarrassed flush on my cheeks.

“I… came to tell you that a bad storm is forecasted for tomorrow.” He put a hand in his pocket. “You didn’t answer my question; this ice is obviously thin, why are you on it?”

I looked away. “Thank you for the warning; you can go now.”

“Alright.” He reached out to me, offering me his other hand. “But you’re coming with me.”

Shaking my head, I turned my back to him. “This is none of your business.”

“Not at all; I guess I’m just nosy. This is dangerous. If you fall in there, you’ll die.”

When I didn’t respond, he was forced to accept his suspicion was correct- I
wanted
to fall in.

“You don’t want to do this,” he said in barely a whisper.

I wiped away the single tear that fell. If I started crying, I wouldn’t have been able to stop. I hated crying in front of other people, although that was now irrelevant. Who cared what I did? I wasn’t going to be around to reflect on my poor social etiquette.

“You don’t know what I want to do. You don’t know anything about me.”

He took another step towards me, his voice calm but his eyes wide as he tried to avoid staring at the unstable ground below.

“So why don’t you come inside and tell me?”

The ice cracked as he moved, a loud pop echoing through the air. We both winced.

“You-you need to leave, or you’re going to fall in, too.”

“I’m not leaving until you take my hand, Shae.”

A hard breeze cracked against my skin, and my muscles locked in place. I stared at the water; maybe death by ice drowning wasn’t the best idea.

Maybe I wouldn’t die right away. Maybe it would be a slow death like when the Titanic sank. I thought back to Jack and Rose; they looked
so
cold. I didn’t notice Derek continuing to approach until I felt his hands on my arm and waist.

As if reading my mind, he spoke. “You know it’s really hard to drown yourself, right? You’re just going to freeze your little ass off until you go into shock. Or if you’re brave enough to take a deep breath underwater, it can take up to three minutes to lose consciousness. Three long, excruciating minutes.”

I stared at him wide-eyed, a chill running through me not because of the cold, but at the thought of being in pain for that length of time.

He tugged at my waist, and I took a step back. He led me back one slow step at a time; whether he was so careful because of the crackling ice or my crackling mental state, I’m not sure.

A white cloud burst from his mouth as we made it back to land as he let out a long exhale. He was relieved I failed, but I was more humiliated than ever before. But then again, nothing else I planned ever worked out, so why would my demise?

My body started trembling for the first time as we walked back through the woods towards my cabin, the wind picking up speed. The breeze iced the tears pooling at my eyes, and I snapped my lids shut to force them away, Derek leading my steps.

Once inside, he sat my shaking form in front of the fireplace and ran upstairs, emerging with a pile of blankets and my pajamas. I guess it was a good thing I laundered the entire cabin earlier.

“I hope you don’t mind me going through your things; you need on more than a bikini. Your hair has ice in it,” he said, wrapping a towel around my head.

My arms locked as I reached for my clothes, the sensation of pins and needles shooting throughout me. I winced as my body adjusted to the drastic change in temperature, trembling so violently, I was getting cramps from the movement.

He frowned as I lost control of my limbs, deep lines across his forehead. “Your lips are blue.”

I was in stage two hypothermia at least, the champagne had worn off, giving me a slight headache, and my inner turmoil was on full display to a man I didn’t know- I was miserable.

Derek warmed my hands between his and briskly rubbed up and down my arms, my body tense as he invaded my personal space without permission. My muscles were too weak for me to do much moving, so he helped me into my pajamas.

I watched as the gorgeous blond-haired, blue-eyed stranger jumped up and left the room, returning minutes later with hot chocolate.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked in a low voice as I accepted the cocoa.

“Why are you trying to kill yourself?” He asked, sitting next to me in front of the fire with a mug of his own. He took a sip before turning to look at me.

My eyes darted away from his. I stared at the chocolate, the whipped cream slowly melting in the brown liquid. My logic wouldn’t sound reasonable to him, and it was none of his business anyway. I cleared my throat and looked up at the man who’d saved me.

“Thank you for what you did,” I said, although I wasn’t sure I meant it.

“Of course. I’m just glad I got here when I did.”

I frowned. If I’d stuck to my schedule and done it at midnight as planned, I wouldn’t have gotten caught.

“I’ll be alright now. You can go.”

His laugh startled me; it was light but hearty, and it almost made me smile myself. But he was laughing
at
me, and there was nothing funny about what I’d said.

“That’s not happening.”

I lifted an eyebrow. He was starting to overstay his welcome. I didn’t want his sympathy, and I didn’t want his assistance.

“Not to be rude, but I just want to be alone right now, okay? I’m sure you understand.”

He nodded after a brief pause, standing to brush off his pants. “I do. I’ll leave you alone, then.”

“Thank you.”

I exhaled a long breath, finally taking a sip. The hot liquid was almost painful as it reheated my chilled body. I took another drink, the warming sensation more enjoyable than the actual taste.

So, I was still here. I still had a job I hated, a family I couldn’t stand, and a fiancé who couldn’t stand me-
ex-fiancé.
With Derek now gone, I considered my original end plan- I could still do it. Did I still want to?

I thought I mulled over my plan thoroughly. No one would really miss me, except my boss since he wouldn’t have anyone to dump work on. Maybe my best friend would, but she was tough; she’d heal.

My life was hard, but it always had been- was I ready to give up on it? I sighed once more. The fire was so comfortable; I didn’t want to move, so I didn’t. One more night. There was no harm in taking another night to think it over.

A minute later, I heard the television come on in the adjacent room.

I wrapped my blanket around me as I stood, my muscles still sore as I continued to adjust to the heat. I cringed as I took my first few steps, my entire body in searing pain.

I followed the sound, entering the living room, shaking my head as I watched Derek make himself comfortable on the couch.

“What are you doing?”

He pointed to the TV, remote in his hand. “
Conan
is on.
Love
this show.”

I wrapped the blanket tighter around me. “I-I thought you were leaving?”

He shook his head, drinking the rest of his cocoa. “You said you wanted to be alone, so I left you alone. But I’m not leaving.”

His eyes blazed as he stared me down, and mine narrowed in response to his defiance. Despite my deteriorating mental state, I did not appreciate his lack of courtesy.

“Mr. Anderson, I don’t believe you have a choice. It was not a suggestion. I didn’t ask for your assistance at the lake, and I’m not asking for it now.”

He stood, walking to me and grabbing my arms, his body heat overwhelming. I flinched.

“You don’t like being touched, huh?”

I took a step away. “I don’t believe in touching people I barely know.”

He closed the gap I made between us. “I think I’m getting to know you quite well. And you may not have asked, but you’re getting my help. What are friends for?”

I snorted. “I hardly think you and I are friends.”

He smiled, and once again I had the pleasure of seeing its perfection. “We’re going to be.”

He breezed by me and went into the kitchen, putting his mug in the sink.

“This is the last time I’m asking nicely. I’ll call the police.”

He shrugged, leaning against the counter after turning to me. “Alright. I’ll tell them you’re suicidal, and they’ll lock you up for three days. That’s fine with me, too. Then I won’t have to worry about you here alone.”

I turned my nose up at him, my jaw tight as I bit back words I rarely thought and never spoke.

“I’m going upstairs,” I said finally.

“Okay. Good night.”

“You will not bother me for the rest of the evening. And wash that mug.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

A chill ran down my spine as he spoke in a deep drawl, but I was sure it was just a result of me being very cold. I turned and stormed upstairs. Who
was
this man? I’d never met someone so intrusive, so impolite in my life.

I didn’t think my honeymoon from hell could get any worse, but like my life, the universe wasn’t done screwing with me just yet.

The smell of bacon woke me the next morning. I followed the scent downstairs to see Derek in the kitchen finishing breakfast. He was naked from the torso up, and my eyes widened as I stood in awe of both his muscular build and his inappropriate comfort level with me.

“Good morning,” he said once he spotted me.

“Good morning,” I said, darting my eyes away from his body and walking up to the breakfast bar.

“Did you sleep well?”

I chuckled. I did a lot of things well during the night: toss, turn, be embarrassed at getting caught, be angry at Reggie, and contemplate my next move. Of all the things I did, sleep was not on the list.

“I did not. What are you doing?”

I tilted my head as I watched him gracefully move around the kitchen.

He laughed, his eyes sparkling. He presented a plate in front of me with eggs, bacon, toast, and fruit.

“This is what we here call
breakfast
. It’s typically eaten upon waking in the morning.”

His sarcasm was unnecessary and unwanted. I narrowed my eyes at him, swallowing the vile words I wanted to say. I never spoke profanity, and rarely thought about the words. But this man frustrated me to the brink. Instead of voicing my irritation, I accepted the plate. I was hungover from the champagne and starving from not eating dinner the evening before.

“Thank you. Now can you put on a shirt?”

“Why?”

My eyes betrayed me, shooting a glance at his hard biceps. I looked away as he smiled, seeing and thankfully choosing not to comment on my stare.

“Because it’s impolite.”

“But we’re in the house. Hell, you’re lucky I have pants on.”

I gasped and he laughed at my shock, grabbing the coffee pot.

“Besides, you and I are friends, after all. I’m sure you want to be nothing short of hospitable and want your friend to be comfortable your space.”

I sighed, knowing I wasn’t going to win.

After pouring us coffee, he leaned over the table with a plate of his own, and I studied the chaos in the kitchen.

“Aren’t you going to sit?”

He shrugged. “I’m fine here.”

I took a bite of bacon, but stood up before I even finished chewing. I wiped up the food stains dropped on the counter, replaced the milk and eggs back in the fridge, and lowered the pans in the sink.

“What are you doing?”

“I just want to get this out of the way before I eat. I’ll just be one second.” I gasped, spinning around to face him with a Santa Claus mug in my hand. “And I thought I told you to wash this yesterday. You left it in the sink overnight?”

He walked behind me and touched my arm. Unlike the day before, my skin wasn’t frozen, and I could feel his warmth on me. My skin began tingling again, but this time it wasn’t painful.

He was close enough for me to see the gold specks glittering in his blue eyes.

“Eat. Before your food gets cold.”

“But-”

“I’ll clean it up later.
Sit
.”

That’s what all men said, but ‘later’ usually meant two days later, and I hated messes. He led me back to the stool, and I took a bite of food while he watched.

If someone asked me the day before what my first full day in Telluride would be like if I were still alive, eating dinner in a filthy kitchen with a half-naked stranger would never have been my guess.

“So, are you going to tell me what last night was about? Your ex-fiancé?”

My jaw tightened, but my voice remained polite. “It’s none of your-”

“Business. Yeah, I got that,” he said with a disrespectfully large eye roll.

“I’m not going to tell you anything.”

“Alright. So who are you talking to about it, then? Got a best friend?”

“I do…”

His eyes widened as I trailed off and didn’t elaborate. “You’re so stubborn, you won’t even talk to your best friend about this? Alright, spill. Think of it like this- I’m a stranger. You can get your feelings out and when you go back home, no one will ever know.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “I thought you were a friend? You’re just a stranger now?”