Unspoken Abandonment

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Authors: Bryan Wood

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Unspoken

Abandonment

 

b
y

 

Bryan A. Wood

Copyright ©
2011
Bryan A. Wood

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.


Unspoken Abandonment

is based on actual events, but certain aspects have been fictionalized f
or formatting into written form and protecting the identity of others.
N
ames
, dates,
locations,
and other identifying information have been
changed.

For additional information about the author, visit:

www.BryanWoodBooks.com


Life is full of influences, it’s your application that sets you apart. That’s something I wrote to myself and completely believe in. You can’t be scared to set out to do something in life because you believe it may be similar to something, or because you don’t know the clear cut path on how you’re going to accomplish your goal or dream! Just take a step towards your belief daily – fearlessly, wholeheartedly, digging and dreaming within yourself, believing that as you push on through sacrifice, you will one day stand alone on top of a hill that you created that now encourages and inspires others to chase their dream. Knowing that through tenacity and patience anything can be achieved. If you simply believe.

-Charles “Mask” Lewis

Table of Contents
 

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1 – On Patrol

Chapter 2 – The Journal

Chapter 3 – Welcome Back

Chapter 4 – A New Reality

Chapter 5 – Falling Apart

Chapter 6 – Finding Peace

 

 

 

 

 

 
Acknowledgements

 

January 24, 2011 is a day that
will be a part of me forever
. Sergeant Thomas Baitinger and K9 Officer Jeffery Yazlowitz, you will always be
in my heart
, and you will
never be forgotten
.
Tom, you
will forever be my
friend and my
hero
.

I would never be where I am today without the love and support of my wonderful parents. They have enjoyed me at the best of times, stayed beside me during the worst of times, and let me find my own way when I needed it
the most
. I will forever be in their debt.

To my wonderful
Abier: I love you, and you make my sun shine on even the cloudiest day.
You are everything to me
, and you are always there for me whe
n
I need you
the most
.
You are my world
.

 

 

Chapter 1 – On Patrol

 

The sky is a
brilliant shade of blue
,
without the tr
ace of a single cloud. I a
m just sitting
back
in the late afternoon sun
,
and I am relaxing as I
feel
its rays gently warm my face.  The
cooling
breeze prevents me from becoming too warm, and the moment is perfect. I look up and see an even more beautiful sight.

I cannot see her features, only her profile cast by the sun as it slowly dips towards the horizon. Her
long, chestnut-
brown
hair flows behind her as she playfully chases the young child in front of her. She looks towards me and offers a smile that still melts
me to
my soul. She stops playing
with the child
and stares at me for a moment. Running her fingers through her hair, she
looks at me in a way
that any other man would envy
;
it was
a
look of complete
love
.

“Mommy, keep playing!”
the child cries out. The young five-year-old girl
then
looks to me and asks, “Daddy, are you going to play now?”

Without a response, I get up and run towards her. I
gra
b
her
in my arms
as she leaps up at me
.  She says
, “Daddy, it’s coming loose again. Will you fix it for me?”

I carry her to a nearby picn
ic table and set her down. That is when
th
is
feeling
struck me
;
I am
happy.  I
am
truly, honestly, and completely happy. Sure, I wish I had more money, I wish that all weekends were three days long, and I
still want a bigger television;
however,
what I have
,
right here
and right now
,
is
a
complete and
absolute
peace of mind.

It was not always this way. I will
come back to this
moment
and pick up right here again, but before I do
,
there is something I need to explain. I was once very far from where I am
today
. There was a part of me which had been taken,
and
I feared
it
was gone forever. It has
been a long and difficult journey for me, but I am every bit the stronger for having endured it.

I remember a time in life when
I felt like I
could conquer the world.
I
felt as
though
I
w
as
unstoppable.
The truth, however, is that
I was just a naïve kid that didn’t
know his ass from his elbow, but
at the time,
I
honestly thought
I
had it al
l figured out. I was fun, quick-
witted, and
I
had a brilliant smile
and
blue eyes that have earned me compliments my entire life. I had see
n neither poverty nor suffering
in my life
,
though I thought I had
, but
I
soon
would.

Life is very easy for some and very difficult for others. Regardless of which side you fal
l on, one thing is for certain:
you will
face challenges in your life, and i
t is how you face and overcome these challenges that will
ultimately
define you as a person.
What I am about to share
is the story of my greatest challenge
.

I a
m not exactly
sure where to begin, so I will
start on a balmy
,
summer night in central Florida. The sun had already gone down, but the temperature was still above ninety
degrees
. I was driving
,
with the windows opened,
feeling the summer air blow in
and hearing the sounds of a busy city street. The car in front of me was an older model, maroon
four-door
, and I had been following it for a few minutes. I saw the car blow
right through
the red light as it was turning northbound on
102nd
Street from
Lexington
Avenue. I figured that
this
was
the s
afest place to stop the vehicle,
so I reach
ed
up
,
turn
ed
on my over head lights
,
and hit the siren for a
few short blasts. The car started
to pull to the side of the road, and I reach
ed
for my microphone.


Four S
ix Lima
,
going out on a traffic stop
,
” I said with a sense of certainty into the microp
hone.

The dispatcher responded quickly, “
F
our S
ix Lima
, go ahead.”


It’s going to be a
Florida
license plate,
on an older
maroon
sedan
, and we will
be
in front of the car wash on 102nd
.


The car wash on 102nd
, ten-four. Request a second unit?”
the dispatcher asked.

“No, I’m fine.”

My right hand was resting cautiously on the grip of my gun as I approached the driver. I was walking very slowly, struggling to see
through the dark tinted windows
,
and
I was
hoping for a glimpse of wh
o
wa
s inside the car. As I
arrived at
the driver's window, the
tinted glass
came down
,
and I could see a middle-aged wom
an alone in the vehicle. I did no
t see anything unusual or suspiciou
s,
so I asked
the driver
for her license and registration.

She nervously asked, “Did I do something wrong, sir?”

“As soon as I have your driver's license and registration, I will explain everything to you.”

She kindly obliged
,
and I
told her
, “When you were traveling eastbound on
Lexington
Avenue and made the turn onto
102nd
Street, you went right through that red light. Try to relax for a few minutes, and I'll have
y
o
u
on your way.
I
do
like th
at you’re wearing your seatbelt, so
i
f everything checks out, I don’t think there will be a need for a ticket.

I began walking back to my car
,
and
as the blue strobe lights were flashing in my face,
I could feel a strange
sensation
coming over me. It was no
t the first
time;
in fact
,
it had
happened several times before.
The prior occurrences gave
me a warning of what was to come ne
xt. I turned back to the
vehicle
and gave the driver her license and registration.

“Here you are ma’am. You’re free to go.” I quickly said.

As I felt myself beginning to sweat,
I hurried b
ack to my police cruiser
with
each breath
becoming more rapid. I
drove
into the nearest parking lot, and I began to have my latest panic attack.

I sat alone in my police
car
with the windows rolled up
and the air conditioning on the maximum setting. I had a feeling of fear and terror rush
ing
through my body
as I struggled for air. A simple breath was not so simple anymore. The feeling lasted for only a short time, but it seemed to last forever.

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