Unsteady (The Torqued Trilogy Book 1) (51 page)

Quickly rushing to the door, the nurse calls for help, but my struggle doesn’t last long. Whatever my injuries are, they root me in place. “Mr. Walker, we need you to stay calm and not move. You’ve suffered a severe gunshot wound and sudden movement could cause more damage to your chest.”

Suddenly, my door bursts open and my mom is the first person to rush in that I recognize, her hand clamps over her mouth and tears roll down her cheeks. “Oh my God, Red….” She breathes in relief. “You’re awake.”

Looking at her, I can see a mix of relief and exhaustion in her face. I don’t know how long I’ve been out or how badly I’m hurt, but I’m guessing things were bad. Our eyes locked on one another. Hers looking for reassurance that I’m okay and mine taking in the reality of my situation. I don’t say anything to her. I’m not sure what to say and then the nurse asks me if I know where I’m at.

“Hell?” I ask, glaring at her. “Where’s Nova?”

“Can you tell me what you remember?” The nurse presses, like I should be answering her and not concerned with my daughter.

“Enough.” I grunt at the onset of pain moving through me, my eyes follow my mother as she sits next to the bed taking my hand. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, but that motherfucker better be in jail or dead. Now where the hell is my daughter?”

“He’s gonna pay, Red. Don’t you worry about that,” Mom assures me. “As soon as he’s released from the hospital, he’s going straight to jail.”

I blink, my focus fading as my eyes drift closed momentarily. “Released from the hospital? Why?” I try to recall if he was injured during our fight, but I can’t. It all seems so foggy and pieced together.

“From what we can tell, after you were shot, you managed to hit him in the head with a torque wrench and cracked his skull.”

I don’t say anything as I begin to try and process that night. It comes back to me in flashes of memories, mostly of my daughter crying. A flood of emotions overtakes me. My heart pounds erratically in my chest. The monitor next to me begins to beep faster and it’s all I can do to not hyperventilate.

I look at my mom, careful not to move by body in any way. “Where’s Nova? Is she okay?” There’s panic in my voice as fear threatens to swallow me whole.

Mom moves from her chair beside me to sit carefully on the edge of my bed. Gently, she places her hand on my face, cupping my cheek. “Oh, Red. She’s fine. A little scared but fine.” Tears well up in her eyes. “You did good. You protected them and kept them safe.”

“Where is she, Mom? Who’s been taking care of her? I need to see her.”

She smiles reassuringly. “She’s with Lenny. We thought it best that Nova be back home sleeping in her own bed. Lenny didn’t want to leave you, but Nova was clinging to her so hard that she didn’t have much of a choice. She hasn’t left her side since you were brought in. They should be here any minute.”

The idea of Lenny taking care of her brings me relief. I remember asking her to watch over her but maybe I was thinking it and didn’t say it before I passed out.

“How is Lenny? Is she okay?” I suddenly remember Ben hitting her with the butt of his gun. “That bastard hit her pretty hard.”

“Relax. She’s fine. There’s a bruise under her left eye, a small cut near it where Ben hit her. But she’s okay.” She draws in a deep breath, her fingers moving slowly over my torn-up hands. “Lenny…. She’s worried about you, Red. She kept apologizing over and over saying it was her fault all this happened.”

I’m careful, but I shake my head, my eyes squeezing shut at the onset of pain. “She can’t think that way. It’s not her fault. I knew he could show up. I knew and we still had our guard down. She had no way of knowing things would get this bad.”

Mom nods and then reaches up to brush tears away. “I know, but I don’t think she’s going to believe us until she hears it from you.”

There’s no way I’m letting Lenny take the blame for this, or go on letting her think it’s her fault. It wasn’t.

Just then, the door cracks open and curls bounce inside. The relief is overwhelming as my eyes flood with tears and I gasp. “Nova….” My breath comes out in a sigh as I struggle to breathe.

“Daddy!” she squeals in delight, rushing toward the bed in a run. Internally, I cringe thinking how bad this is going to hurt when she jumps on me.

My mom leaps up from her place next to me to catch her, holding her back before she can reach me. “Careful with, Daddy, Nova. He’s in a lot of pain and shouldn’t be moving around.”

Nova frowns, the disappointment marring her happiness at seeing me. She stops beside the bed, tentatively reaching for my hand. “Daddy… you’re okay, right? Are you much better?”

“I’m fine,” I whisper, touching the side of her face. Tears roll down my cheeks as I try to control the blast of emotions coursing through me, but I can’t. I’m so fucking happy to see she’s unharmed. I don’t give a shit who sees me crying. “It’s so good to see you, darlin’. Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?”

“No, I’m not hurt.” She comes closer, just another step and squeezes my hand. I can’t imagine what she’s been going through because of what she witnessed that night, and I’m almost afraid to ask right now. So I don’t.

“How long have I been out?” I ask my mom, refusing to let go of Nova, but the fading begins with each blink as the pain medication begins to kick in.

“Three days.”

I focus on Nova again. “Are you being good for Lenny?”

“You don’t need to worry, Daddy. Lenny’s got this. We went and had our toes painted this morning so they would look pretty for when you woke up. They do a better job than you.” I try to look at her toes but there’s no way I can.

I almost smirk. “Is that so, darlin’?”

There’s a noise beside me, feet sliding against tile, and I turn my head to see Lenny leaning against the doorjamb. She smiles at me, tears forming in her sad, brown eyes and a sensation bursts in my chest before sinking into the pit of my stomach. I’m so fucking happy to see her alive and unharmed. I’d gladly take a bullet for her. Am I mad? Sure. I’m fucking pissed my daughter was in danger because of this crazy bastard. But I also know it wasn’t Lenny’s fault. She was doing everything she could to escape that douche bag. I know she would never have knowingly put us in that kind of danger. You can’t blame her for Ben’s delusional mind. She was trying to move on. I blame him for taking that chance from her.

“Nova, sweetie.” Mom stands and reaches for her hand. “Let’s give Daddy and Lenny a minute. Wanna go pick out a treat?”

“Yes!” Nova looks at me. “Is it okay, Daddy?”

I wink at her. “Definitely.”

When they’re out of the room and we’re alone, Lenny turns toward me, her tears of apology streaming down her face. “Red, I’m just so sorry. I never meant to put Nova in danger,” she says immediately, as if I need to know that first before she says anything else.

Thinking back to the night, and how it could have ended, had I not walked in… I don’t have a response, at least not one I can voice. I reach for her hand when she steps near me. “I know you didn’t. None of this is your fault,” I say, hoping she believes me. “Come over here.”

After she cautiously approaches my bed, carefully sitting beside me, Lenny cups my cheek. Instinctively, I lean into her hand despite the obvious bruising to my cheek. “You don’t look so good. Are you in pain?”

I almost laugh, but I don’t because I know the pain that will come if breathing hurts this bad. “Nah, I’m tough.”

“I know, but you look pretty banged up.”

“Oh, please.” I attempt to roll my eyes, and even that hurts. “We both know I look hot in this hospital gown.”

Lenny eyes my body, her eyes dragging slowly over me. They flood with tears again. “I just can’t tell you how sorry I am. I knew that Ben was becoming more unstable, but I never thought he would show up and do this. To threaten Nova and shoot you. I swear I never thought he would come after anyone but me….” She sighs, the dejection in her voice somewhat suffocating.

“Hey, listen. I know you’re feeling a lot of guilt right now, but we’re not going back to that. We’re not going to blame or accuse.”

She nods, brushing away tears as she sits gingerly on the edge of my bed. A nurse walks in and then smiles. “Mr. Walker, I paged the doctor and informed him that you’re awake. He’s going to stop by soon.” And then she closes the door, giving us some privacy once again. I know I only have a few minutes before Nova’s back, or I fall asleep, but I need to ask her this. I have to know where we stand.

I clear my throat, but it’s gravelly. “Look, Lenny. You need to know that what happened doesn’t change anything. The way I feel about you hasn’t changed.”

“Red….” She shakes her head and I sense denial. She’s afraid of bringing me unwanted drama and I get that, but I’m not letting go after this. If anything, taking that bullet and having her take care of my daughter as if she’s her own cements that for me… I’m not letting this woman out of my life.

“Listen.” My voice is drawn out now, slow and lethargic. “I’m in this, kinda deep with you. I don’t care what happened. I just want to know when I leave this fucking place, you’ll be with me.”

“I will.” She’s quick to say, her eyes snapping to mine. “I’m not going anywhere.”

My mom walks in and Lenny stands, distancing herself from me. She can tell I’m about to fall asleep when Nova kisses my cheek and then grabs her hand to stand beside her.

“I think Daddy needs a nap,” Mom suggests.

Lenny kneels beside her. “I think he does. Should we let him sleep?”

Nova nods. “We should. We’ll come back soon, Daddy.”

I smile at Nova and wink at Lenny, mouthing “Thank you” to her as they exit the room.

Just after they leave, the doctor comes in and explains to me the extent of my injury. He lets me know I’ll be in the hospital for a few weeks and then it’ll be at least two months before I’m able to lift anything heavy.

Once he leaves, I ask my mom, “Shit, Mom. What am I going to do about the shop?”

She smiles, touching my hand. “Don’t you worry, Red. We got everything covered. Tyler and Lenny are amazing and believe it or not, Rawley has been helping out. Even Jude came up and was doing odd jobs to help. We ended up closing the shop this week because of the police investigation, but it’s all good. Everyone understands.”

She knows me and gets how hard this is for me. All my life I’ve taken care of things that needed to be done by myself. I never relied on anyone. This will be the hardest part. I have no choice but to rely on them.

“You’re an incredibly strong man, Red. Being a dad isn’t a job. It’s a life and one you’ve managed to do well for two years, by yourself. And now with the business, it’s a lot for anyone. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to need help. It’s not a dirty word or a sign of weakness to lean on anyone else.”

I know what she’s saying makes sense, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna be easy. It seems like my life has been a series of unplanned circumstance. From Nevaeh’s unplanned pregnancy and then her being taken from us so brutally, forcing me to raise our daughter alone, to my dad suddenly dying, leaving me with a business I wasn’t ready to run. But through it all, I’ve kept my head up and tried my hardest to keep moving forward, taking care of what needed to be done.

I never wanted to ask for help.

People can tell you everything will be fine, but it’s hard to believe them until you know for sure, it will be.

In the days following Red’s surgery and the three days that pass when he’s taken off the ventilator and allowed to breathe on his own, it’s like that for me.

I thought for sure that first time I saw him he would be upset with me. Blame me for endangering his daughter. Blame me for bringing this poison into his and Nova’s life.

But from the moment I entered his hospital room that morning and I locked eyes with him, all I saw was relief. He wasn’t angry or disgusted because he’s Red, and just like his mother said, he loves unconditionally.

I remember back to when I was five. I was staying with this lady and her twelve kids. There weren’t really twelve kids, but most days it felt like there were. Anyway, for some reason I would pee the bed, like all the time. I don’t know why. I just went through a phase where I did.

The first couple of times it happened, she acted like it was no big deal. Everybody makes a mistake, but by the tenth and eleventh time, she got pretty fed up. Eventually, she ended up taking me back to the group home. Said the monthly check wasn’t worth the hassle of having to put up with me and piss.