Unsteady (The Torqued Trilogy Book 1) (54 page)

WE FINALLY GET back to Red’s house after what seems like the world’s longest grocery run. In reality, it’s been two hours, but seriously it’s a damn grocery store.

As I’m unpacking everything, Raven comes barreling into the house making a beeline to the living room. She’s dragging a very pissed off looking five-year-old behind her and I notice Nova’s wearing a bike helmet and has a pillow strapped to her chest and back.

What the fuck were they doing?

Raven storms up to Rawley coming down the hallway and stops inches from his face. “I told you to watch her!”

“I am. I watched her getting in the wagon with the olive tree kid.”

“His name is Oliver and what were you going to do just sit here while he went barreling down the road with your niece being dragged behind him?”

“Whatever.” He blows her off, rolling his eyes. “I made sure she had a helmet. I thought it would be fun to see where it goes.”

It’s then we both realize what he’s wearing. He’s wearing a dress that appears to be a prom dress.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Raven asks, gawking at him.

Rawley looks at his dress, confused as to what the big deal is. “We were watching Frozen before this little shit ditched me.”

Nova slaps his thigh. “Don’t blame that on me!”

Raven slaps his shoulder from the other side. “That still doesn’t explain why you’re wearing
my
prom dress, asshole.”

Stepping out of the line of fire, he holds up his hands in defense. “If a five-year-old asks you to wear a dress, you put the fucking dress on. Don’t be a jerk.”

Raven eyes him up and down. “You look ridiculous.”

“Bitch please,” he talks in a casual jesting way. “I look good.”

Rolling her eyes, Raven walks away.

I on the other hand can’t stop looking at Rawley. Not because he looks good in a dress, but because it looks uncomfortable. Touching the shiny material with my hand, I ask, “Is that itchy?”

He lets out a deep breath, his eyes widening. “So much. I can’t believe she wore this thing all night.”

“I only wore it for like ten minutes to get my picture taken.” Raven says from the living room. “The rest of the night was spent in the backseat of Holden’s car.”

Rawley tenses. “Please tell me you dry cleaned it. And another thing, why the hell was your prom dress at Red’s house?”

Before Raven can answer, Nova walks up and flops herself dramatically on the floor. After all, she’s wearing a pillow and a helmet. Why not flop yourself around the house.

She stares curiously at Raven and asks, “Why did you spend the rest of the night in the back of some boy’s car?”

Her eyes go wide as she looks to me for help. “Nova, why don’t you go to your room and unstrap your pillow and put them away. Daddy could be home soon.”

I think Nova realizes she’s not going to get an answer because she turns and heads down the hall.

Raven breathes a sigh of relief, body relaxing and immediately returns her glare to Rawley, “The dress is here because I wasn’t going to wear it again and Nova liked it so I gave it to her.”

Rawley shrugs and reaching for the zipper on the back of the dress to finally take it off. “I don’t know why you thought it was a good idea to give this to her.” Raven and I both laugh as he literally strips down to his underwear in the living room and throws the dress at Raven’s face. It’s not a dress it’s a torture device.”

THE MOMENT I’VE been waiting for arrives. Mia and Tyler finally make it home with Red around four that afternoon and it seems so surreal that he’s here, home and safe. For the first time in weeks, I take a deep breath.

From the moment Ben walked into the shop, it was if every breath I took was thick with guilt and worry. Seeing Red now slowly making his way through the door brings me so much relief.

As soon as he comes through the door, he pauses and looks around. It’s as if he’s memorizing this moment. Like he needs to remember this exact place in time.

When he came home.

When he survived.

Turning his stare to me, we both stand and soak in the sight of each other, my heart in my throat. There’s so much I want to say to him. So many things I’ve already said, but feel as though I need to say them again and again. To make him understand how sorry I am and how happy it makes me that he’s forgiven me for the hell I had brought to his life.

We continue to stare and as he cautiously approaches me and places a warm palm on my cheek, looking into my eyes. All I can see is acceptance and adoration. “Hey,” he whispers.

Oh God, that whisper.

I sigh, nearly sinking to my knees. “Hi.”

Leaning down, he kisses my cheek, brushing his beard against my face. He decided not to shave in the hospital and he rocks the beard thing so well that I might have to ask him to keep it for a while.

Feeling him this close, the warmth of his skin, the way his whiskers tickle my cheek, I can’t help the chill that shivers down my spine.

Too soon, before we have a chance to say anymore, Tyler comes over and helps Red get settled on the couch. “Come on, bud. You should sit.”

It’s cute seeing Tyler so attentive to his best friend. I think in some ways he feels a little guilty too.

Nova must hear everyone’s voices because she comes barreling down the hallway.

She stops just short of Red and cautiously looks him over. Slowly examining him from head to toe. “Are you okay daddy?” she asks in a voice so small.

His smile is wide, his eyes wrinkling at the corners. “Yes darling, I’m okay. Daddy’s just sore and needs a little more time to get better.”

Nova still doesn’t move, rooted an arm’s reach from where Red stands with Tyler by his side.

“Okay, well do you think you could come outside with me and watch me play?”

Mia looks as if she is going to step forward to maybe tell Nova to give Red some time to get settled, but Red raising his hand slightly as if to signal her that he can do this. “Sure, darlin’. I’ll just sit on the porch and you can play while I watch, okay?”

A huge smile comes across Nova’s face. “Yay! Come on, Daddy!”

Once Red is settled in a chair outside, Nova gets to work explaining everything single thing she’s done since he’s been gone. You would think he was gone for three months instead of three weeks, but then again to a five-year-old, having her father shot in front of her and then to be away from him for so long, it probably feels like a lifetime.

I stand at the backdoor watching. Watching Red as he talks with Tyler and Rawley while Nova entertains them, looking for any signs that he’s in pain or needs something. I’m so engrossed in my stalking I don’t even notice when Mia walks up beside me.

“How’s everything going?” I jump at the sound of her voice, turning around to face her.

“Okay, I guess.” I shrug, trying to remain nonchalant around his mother. “I left her with Rawley for an hour and Raven and I came back to her inside of a wagon, ready to go down a half pipe with a pillow strapped to her chest and a helmet to her head.”

She laughs, as though she’s not surprised by this at all. “With who?”

“The little boy across the street. Oliver. He said he wanted to make her fly.” I keep my voice low because the last thing I want is for Red to know his daughter was up to no good today.

“Sounds like him. Nova’s been talking about him lately. I think she calls him Ollie, right?”

I nod. “Yeah that’s him. Nova’s mentioned him like five times this week and for her to do that, he must be pretty special.”

Laughter in the backyard catches my attention and I turn to look for Red.

Mia follows my line of sight and I can see absolute love she has in her eyes for her son. “It’s okay to be in love with him you know?” Mia tells me.

I sigh, the pressure building in my chest at the conversation twist. Leaning back against the door frame, I smile. “I know it is and I am, very much so,” I tell her. “It’s the last thing he needs though. I’ve brought nothing but trouble to his life, and even though I know it’s incredibly selfish of me, I still can’t help that I’m in love with him.”

“None of what happened was your fault Lenny,” Mia assures me. “You didn’t do anything. It wasn’t within your control.”

“How can you say that?” My voice is timid, even though I try for it not to be. “Ben was here, for me. How is that not my fault?”

Mia looks at me intently, as if by her stare she wants to convince me of one thing. I know where Red got that stare from now. “Just because Ben came after you, doesn’t mean you’re responsible for his actions. Nothing that happened means you don’t deserve to fall in love with my son. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve to love you back, and it certainly doesn’t mean you can’t be there for Nova, because that little girl out there, she’s fallen for your Lenny and that doesn’t come easily for her.”

I think about her words, flip them around in my head before I say, “Nova told me her mommy sent me to them.”

Mia smiles tenderly, her stare moving back to Nova and her wild curls. “They’ve been waiting for you for a while. You all deserve to be happy. Let yourself have this.” And then she reaches over to hug me whispering in my ear. “He needs someone to help him love again.”

As we part, I scrutinize Red’s pain level looking for any sign of discomfort. While I know he wants to stay outside all night and watch Nova, it’s clear by the way he’s so stiff, he’s starting to feel the effects of sitting upright in a hard chair. Tyler notices too and we decide to move everyone inside where Red can be more comfortable.

“Can I help you with the spaghetti?” Nova asks, wiping dirt from her face as she walks into the kitchen.

“Of course.” I help her up onto the stool beside the stove and tie her apron on her.

“I think my daddy loves you,” Nova whispers, stirring the sauce with me, our hands over one another.

I kiss the side of her temple breathing in her rich honey scent. “Why would you say that?” My heart beats faster at the words, wondering how she can tell something like that. She’s a child.

“Because I know,” she says, keeping her eyes on the pan. “Auntie says love scares Daddy.”

It scares me too.

“Now that daddy’s home, are you gonna leave?”

“I’m not sure. It’s up to daddy.”

She smiles. “I think he wants you to stay.”

Glancing over my shoulder, I catch Red’s stare and he winks at me.

I hope he wants me to stay because the idea of leaving the two of them isn’t something I ever want to think about.

HOURS LATER, EVERYONE is sitting around Red’s kitchen table, laughing and enjoying each other, and it’s easy to believe everything’s going to be okay. The spaghetti was a big hit and Nova was so excited about the strawberry shortcake that I thought she was going to bounce right out of her seat. Red even remarked about how good the biscuits were and asked if I baked them from scratch. This of course gave me justification to stick my tongue out and throw an “
I told you
so” look Raven’s way.

The warmth it brings to my heart, looking around and seeing the happiness in this room, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt. The sense of family and togetherness is something I never even dared to dream about in the past. Now I can

After dinner’s finished and the table is cleared, everyone begins to say their goodbyes, as if they know Red needs to rest.