Unsteady (The Torqued Trilogy Book 1) (57 page)

My fingertips tear into his concrete shoulders as I arch helplessly against him, moaning out his name in a desperate plea. “Reddington….”

He curses against my skin in response to my throaty call of his name, his body jerking in time with his release. I thread my fingers through his hair as we lay there.

“
So
good.” I kiss his neck.

“Kiss me,” he whispers, long lashes lowered, gasping for breath as his body continues to shake. “Just please fucking kiss me.”

When the tip of his tongue glides over the seam of mine, I open to him. His lips part over mine and I kiss him deeper, giving myself to him. I will
always
give myself to him. I have to. Now more than ever.

Handling me with care as our breathing slows, he blows out a long breath and eases his body from mine. “Was that worth being late?”

I laugh, shaking my head as I look over at him. “I don’t know. Boss Man can be a real dick sometimes.”

Red once told me that I expect him to be the perfect guy. It was last week.

For days I contemplated what he meant by that. I was almost sorta pissed at him. Like he was accusing me of wanting something unattainable. How could someone like me, after everything I’ve been through, expect someone to be perfect?

I mean, fuck, look at Ben, and then take a look at Red. Clearly, I’m not one to be asking for greatness here, right?

Although, when I look back on my life, I can see the pattern of destruction that’s led me to this. The part where Red said I need perfection. It’s not his fault.

Growing up, there were times when I wished I had a different life and told myself that when I found it, it would be perfect. I’d dream about it even, having a family and a husband, all that.

See where I’m going with this?

I wanted perfect, whether I knew it or not.

I desperately need a happily ever after. Or my version of it. And that version includes a man built from steel and a girl with wild curls and the brightest blues.

I need to know there’s something in life that’s not evil. To know what it feels like to be touched by a man who is honest and loves me for me, not for what I can provide for him, or do for him.

Sometimes you need people on your side. You need friends, family, and people who care about you.

I have that now.

I was granted my divorce from Ben, about two days before he was sentenced for attempted murder and aggravated assault. Because of his head injury, his sentences was delayed for a while. I wasn’t happy when the verdict came out because really, twelve years in prison was a fucking slap in Red’s face for the pain we’ve all been through.

Nonetheless, he’d be behind bars and I’m no longer married to that monster.

“WHERE’S NOVA?” I ask when I come through the door Friday night. Red’s been back at work a week now and I’m still technically living with Tyler but sleeping in Red’s bed every night. I keep thinking he’s going to ask me to move in with him, but he hasn’t.

Red smiles, it’s adorable and so unlike the man I first met. His grin sparks my own. “She’s with my mom tonight.”

“Oh.” I set my phone on the counter, watching him place two containers in a bag along with a blanket on top. “What’s all that?”

“I’m taking you on a date.”

Maybe he’s going to ask me to move in?

“What if I don’t want to go on a date?” He has to know I like to play hard to get, tease him a little for my own enjoyment at times.

He stops and stares at me. “You don’t want to go out with me?”

“I’m still deciding,” I tease. “Where are we going?”

“Can’t tell you.”

“Then I’m not going.”

He sighs and watches me carefully, his hands resting on the table. Dark eyes hold mine until he knows I’m gonna crack. “You’re missing out then.”

There’s a moment of silence between us and I can’t deny him. “Fine.” I groan. “I’ll go with you.”

He’s quiet for a minute. I feel bad for teasing him. “Wow.” He laughs. “Don’t do me any favors.”

I snort. “Oh, shush.” I wait a few seconds, chewing on my lip. Then I say, “I’m only teasing you.”

Red turns to look at me. “Lennon?”

“Yeah?” I look over at him.

“Will you go on a date with me?”

I don’t intend to laugh in his face, but I do because he’s so cute, and Red and cute are never words I imagined in the same sentence. I reserve those for Nova.

When he levels me a glare, I clear my throat. “Yes, yes I will.” I peek inside the bag. “What’s in there?”

He knocks my hand away gently. “Stop that. It’s a surprise.”

I raise my hands in surrender and take a step back. “You’re grouchy today.”

Leaning in, he kisses my cheek. “Let’s go.”

Okay, so a date.

THE DRIVE FROM his house isn’t far and soon we find ourselves at the river sitting in front of a jet boat. “What, are we searching for, gators or something?”

“We don’t have gators here.” He chuckles, reaching for the bag of food beside him. “And it’s a surprise.”

I point to the man approaching the car. “Who’s that guy?”

“That’s Sheldon. Remember him? He owns that Plymouth GTX. I fixed his tractor a while back so he agreed to take us somewhere.”

“Where?”

Red nods outside. “Just get out and see.”

“So he’s going on a date with us?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Damn, you’re impatient.”

I throw my hands up. “Well, you could be taking me out here to ditch me.”

He stops and laughs, once. And then his face his completely serious as his eyes narrow. “Yeah cause taking a bullet for you did me in. Now I wanna get rid of you so I can get on with my life.”

“Hey,
you
said it.”

He looks down, eyes squinting. Trying to decode my words. For all his overconfidence that he was strong and recovered so quickly, there’s a part of him that’s haunted by the fact that I saw him weak and he did depend on me in a lot of ways. “Lenny?”

“Yeah.”

Red shrugs, and his tone turns neutral. “Shut up and let me be nice to you.”

“You’re being dramatic now.”

His eyes narrow but he says nothing more.

Trying hard not to laugh, I purse my lips together and we follow Sheldon to the boat. I don’t say anything as we get out and into the boat. I also don’t say anything as we speed through the river and to a place he tells me is called Fry Creek.

And then I see it. His date. Straight ahead on the cover where the sand and rock wash up the rivers bank is a small table covered with a white linen tablecloth. It’s complete with a mason jar candle and two plates. He planned this. For me he planned a special night.

I’m speechless for a moment, before saying, “Red…. Wow.”

“You were saying about me being dramatic?”

“Nothing. I was saying nothing.”

He leans over and kisses my temple, his rough chin scraping against my cheek. “That’s what I thought.” And then he points to the raft. “Even comes with a bed.”

“Did you bring that out here?”

“You never know when you might need a bed.”

I could say something snarky. I could, but seeing this romantic side to Red, I’m nearly in tears. No one has ever done something like this for me.

His expression softens when he notices my sad expression. “Are you crying?”

I clamp my lips together as if that will stop the rush of tears. “No.”

He wraps his arm around me, bringing me to his side as the boat stops. “It’s okay to cry sometimes.”

I know it is. Still doesn’t mean I want to.

Sheldon leaves and Red takes out the food he brought for us. We’re a few minutes into dinner when I ask him, “Why does an engine knock?”

Red’s brow scrunches, trying to understand what I’m talking about. “Usually the engine timing is off but it can be for a variety of reasons.”

“Let’s go with ignition timing being too far advanced.” He nods. “Causes spark knock, right? So the fuel is lit on fire too soon before that exact moment it needs to during the pistons stroke.” He nods again. “Everything in my life has been bad timing. Spark knock.
Until you
. And I thought you were bad timing too. I met you at a time when I had no business falling in love, but I did because you were bad timing. You were the mechanic I needed to fix my knocking engine.”

He can’t keep a straight face for long because he’s fucking dirty like that and bursts out laughing.

I glare. “See… this is why we can’t have mature conversations like adults.”

“You turned it dirty,
not me
.”

“Still, I was trying to make a point.”

“You did make a point.” He winks, relaxing into the chair.

“What’s that noise?”

Red looks around. “I’m not sure… but I hear something.” And then his face pales as he watches behind me. “Oh fuck!”

I panic and turn around, falling out of the chair. “Holy shit, that’s a big dog.”

“In what world, would that be a dog?” Red asks, helping me up.

I stare at the black spot in the distance moving toward us with a slow stride. It’s definitely
not
a dog.

In my state of sheer panic, I blame Red, naturally. “Who the hell brings salmon to a river where black bears live?”

He glares, a scowl I never want to see again. I’ve offended him.

“I’m sorry,” I’m quick to say, not wanting him to be upset with me because this was clearly a well thought-out plan. He just hadn’t invited the bear. “That was mean of me.”

“Fucking right it was mean. Be nice.”

I breathe in a shaky breath. “Remember that fear you have of snakes?”

“No.” He still refuses to admit it.

“Well, I have that same fear… with bears.”

“Let’s use the raft,” Red suggests when the bear moves closer.

We do and end up getting soaked in the process but distance ourselves a good hundred feet from the bear. “Bears can swim, can’t they?”

Red eyes the bear with fear. “Yeah, they can.”

Just when I think our lives might be over, the bear stops on the edge of the water and stares at us and then decides our half-eaten dinner is what he really wanted, not us.