Unworthy Heart: The Donnellys, Book 1 (32 page)

Chapter Forty-Five

Maiya took the next two weeks off from work, taking the time she needed in order to settle her mother’s affairs. There wasn’t much to be done, and no close family members to distribute anything to. Her mother had a sister somewhere in the Midwest, but Maiya hadn’t seen her or heard anything about her since she was a child.

Most of her time was spent cleaning out the trailer. And crying. Lots of crying while she sorted through piles of paper, old photographs and clothing. The photographs had been easier than she expected. Mom when she was young and vibrant, Maiya and Jeremy as kids—both with cheesy big grins, playing in one of the casino hotel pools. Days long gone. Who were those people she stared at in the photographs? It felt like a lifetime ago in a whole different world.

The bedroom closet was last; most of the clothes were too old to even bother donating. Maiya pulled out item after item, tossing each into a pile on the floor until she unveiled a hidden treasure. She sucked in a breath at what she’d found: three showgirl costumes remained in sealed zippered vinyl bags in immaculate condition. Had her mother even known they were still in there?

Maiya pulled them out, laid them on the bed and unzipped each bag. Each costume was a different color, sequins twinkling in the light above. She ran her hand down the bodice of the red one with reverent care.

So beautiful…her mother had been beautiful too when she’d last worn these. Maiya sat on the bed, closed her eyes and pictured her, clear as day, in the corner of this very room, spinning in front of the full-length mirror.

Joanie swung the skirt side to side. “Look, Emmie, look! Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yes, Mommy. Yes!” Little Maiya giggled and danced around her mother.

“You
make
them look beautiful, Mom.” Jeremy’s pride was evident in his tone.

Maiya shook herself out of the memory, grabbed yet another tissue, wiped her tear-streaked cheeks and blew her nose. She sealed the dresses back in their bags; those would be coming home with her.

She stepped onto the front stoop, lit a cigarette and thought about Ryan. He’d have been knee deep in all of this mess helping her if she’d let him. As expected, he called, letting her know he’d arrived home safe after leaving Vegas the morning after the funeral. Their conversation had been brief, detached—almost cold.

He hadn’t said he loved her again, and although it’d overwhelmed her the night he confessed it, she’d hoped to hear it again. But they hadn’t spoken since. Things could be different for them with her mother gone. She could move to L.A. There was no reason not to now. They could see each other as much as they wanted. They could be a couple.

Except, Ryan had nothing to say to her anymore. Maiya sat on the step and drew in a long drag.
I really fucked this one up
. Thinking back on their time together, she’d been the one to keep him at arm’s length.

He
had been the consistent one, the one to pursue her with fervor.
He
had fallen in love with her and
wasn’t
afraid to tell her. Ryan had been the one to keep it going for them, and the only consistent thing
she’d
done was pull him close and then push him away.

And she did love him. That much she at last admitted to herself. But in spite of the undeniable love she felt for him, she continued to push him away. Why?
Easy way out, and stupid.
Because she was afraid he’d leave her—that he’d eventually change his mind and leave her.

Had she pushed him so far he wasn’t coming back? All in the name of fear? There was only one way to find out, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to happen here in Vegas. She needed to get her shit in order and get her ass out to L.A. Now.

Chapter Forty-Six

Ryan spent his days immersed in work and his nights immersed in Jacob. He hadn’t talked to Maiya in two weeks, and it was driving him bat-shit crazy.

He missed her. Jacob missed her too, but Ryan needed to stand his ground. He was tired of chasing her, tired of being the one to always pursue. Hell, he’d even told her he loved her, and what he’d gotten in return was a whole lot of nothing.

She needed space; he understood. He hadn’t been prepared to lose touch with her like this though. Granted, she’d just lost her mother and had a lot on her plate, but he hated not being by her side to help her take care of everything. Ryan prayed that when she got through the mess she’d be willing to talk.

Jimmy had gone home to Manhattan the prior week, and thank God, because his brother would be telling him daily to suck it up and wait it out. “She’ll come back if you’re meant to be together,” had been his words before he left town. What-the-fuck-ever. He did not want to hear that crap again.

Ryan stepped off the elevator and into the main reception area of the office. He headed straight for the break room to grab some coffee and then
casually
stopped by Jodi’s office again to
casually
ask her if she’d heard from Maiya.

“Morning, Jo—” He stopped short, coffee sloshing out of the cup and down his hand.

“Oh, shit, Jodi, give me a napkin!”

“Classic.” Jodi stood, bypassing Maiya, and handed Ryan the napkin. “You didn’t tell him you were coming, did you?” She shook her head. “You need relationship training, girl. I swear.”

Ryan wiped up the spilled coffee, thanking God it hadn’t been very hot.

Maiya was here.

Maiya. Here.

He stared at her. “When the hell did you get into town?”

She crossed her arms. “Late Friday night.”

“And you didn’t call me? What. The. Fuck, Maiya!”

“I’m going to take a walk.” Jodi excused herself from her own office.

“Thanks, Jodi.” He moved aside and Jodi closed the door behind her.

“I’m sorry.” Maiya let out a breath and rubbed her forehead. “Look I really want to talk to you, I just… Can you come meet me later at the hotel?”

He stepped back and looked at her. Really looked at her. What was it with this woman? Why her? She was broken, wild, smart and beautiful, and so many goddamn things he couldn’t even begin to list them all. But right then, he was so frustrated and confused, he thought he might strangle her.

It didn’t help how gorgeous she was in her long, fitted pencil skirt and tight sweater, making her body look like one long curvaceous roller coaster of deliciousness.
Stay focused, Ry. You’re pissed, remember?
She made it hard to stay mad when she looked this good, and that pissed him off even more. She knew
exactly
what she was doing dressing that way. Evil minx.

“Ryan, you’re staring at me like you don’t know whether you want to fuck me or strangle me.”

“Bingo. Fine, I’ll meet you at the hotel. Four thirty. Don’t be late.” He turned and walked out of Jodi’s office before he did exactly what she suggested he was thinking.

Damn her.

Maiya paced the foyer of her hotel, waiting for Ryan. It was past four thirty. “Don’t be late,” he’d said and now
he
was late.
Fucking fabulous.

She shook out her hands and decided to head back up to her room. She texted him her room number and got on the elevator. He could come upstairs when he got there, and she could pace in private, without her heels on.

An hour…or maybe just five minutes later there was a knock at the door.
Finally.
Opening it, she was treated to a frustrated-looking Ryan. He blew past her into the room without saying anything.

“Come in,” she mumbled under her breath and shut the door. “Are you okay?”

“Fine. Had to make arrangements for my son.” He sat in the desk chair. “I’m here. You wanted to talk. So, talk.”

“Okay, well.” She swallowed, her mouth gone dry. Jeez, he sounded furious. She grabbed her water, took a sip and then began again. “I owe you a huge apology.” She looked at him.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“I was wrong for treating you the way I did, Ryan. And I’m not sure if it even matters now, but I figured I would explain why, you know?” She paced. “I’m a little fucked up, I guess.” She let out a nervous laugh, but he remained silent. God, he was
not
going to let her off the hook
at all
. “I was scared. Plain and simple. And, you know, convinced I didn’t deserve you, and you would leave me, but there’s this problem now.” She made another round of the room and then faced him again. “The problem is I love you, and I’m moving here, but now I think I’ve lost you.”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
Dammit all to hell! She was getting damn tired of crying. “I lov—”

One second she was standing, the next she was flat on her back on the bed, Ryan hovering above her. “I want you, Maiya.” He pressed his lips in a firm line and his jaw ticked.

“I can feel that, but—”

“No!” Ryan shook his head. “Well, yes, but that’s not what I mean. I want you, baby. Always. Forever. Twenty-four seven.”

Shock bolted through her. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I want you to move in with me.” He kissed her. “I’m saying I’m in love with you, and I don’t want to waste any more fucking time. These last two weeks have been hell and I don’t care to relive them.”

“Are you serious?” Her anxiety level went from a ten to a fifty in a matter of two words. Move in? Fucking, move in? Here she was thinking she’d get an apartment and see if he wanted to see her. Her brain couldn’t process what her ears were hearing. What if— Her mother’s voice came rushing back and, along with it, her tears.
Don’t give up something good because of all the bad in your past. Promise me, Maiya Anne Rossini.
“You’d want that with me?”

Ryan rolled them to the side and cradled her head against his chest while she wept.

“You’re my girl. Please come home with me, baby? We can take care of each other. Always.”

“I love you, Ryan. I’m so scared.” She clung to him. Could she do this? Really do this? She wanted him for sure.

“I’ve got you. I’m not letting you go, Maiya. Come home with me.”

All she managed was a nod while Ryan kissed her tears from her eyes, her cheeks, and then found her lips. A familiar jolt of electricity shot through her body and straight to her core when their tongues touched. The kiss grew frantic and she clawed at his shirt.

Ryan rolled onto his back, tugging up her skirt. He stopped when he reached her upper thigh. “My little slut. You’re wearing thigh-highs and a garter.”

“I had to pull out all the stops. What if you didn’t take me back?”

“I knew it!” He ran his finger between the backs of her thighs, seeking her core. He groaned.

She was wet for him and his fingers felt like heaven. Maiya bit his bottom lip. “No panties, either.”

“That’s it.” Ryan reached between them and freed himself from his pants.

Maiya rose up on her knees, straddling him and he pressed the head to her entrance. She slid down slow, inch by torturous inch, gazing into his eyes.

He went rigid beneath her. “Tell me you love me, again.” He gripped her ass. “I need to hear it while I’m inside what’s now officially mine.”

With him seated deep inside her core, she shifted her hips once, and then said the words he wanted to hear. “I love you, Ryan.” Her skin tingled in anticipation of his response.

He thrust his pelvis off the bed and squeezed her ass, holding her tight to him. “Oh, God. Again.”

She ground against him. “I love you, Ryan Donnelly.”

“I love you too, baby. I love you too.” Ryan cupped the back of her neck and pulled her down for a kiss.

Maiya’s heart burst with feeling, and she knew without a doubt she wanted this man, always. Ryan wrapped both arms around her waist and she continued the motion of her hips in time with the stroke of her tongue in his mouth.

With her clit grinding against his pelvis, she pulled her mouth from his, tangled his hair in her hands and bit his shoulder. Her orgasm exploded and her walls milked his shaft with tight little spasms.

“Yes! Mine!” He bucked against her, crying out a curse while his own release took him over.

Maiya continued to rock slowly and with each slide in and out of her wetness, her pussy clenched and spasmed again. She laid her head down on his chest. “Mmm.”

“Woman, you are going to be the death of me.”

“Not yet, I hope. I mean, I just got here.” Maiya gazed up at him. “Hey, can we go home? I really miss Jacob.” She kissed his chest.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He stroked her hair. “Jacob misses you too.”

After another moment in his arms, she climbed off him and the bed. “Chop chop!” She snapped her fingers. “Let’s go!”

“Oh my God, I love you.” He got up, laughing, and pulled her close.

“I hope you realize what you’re getting yourself into.”

“I have a pretty good idea.”

“That makes one of us.” She laughed. “This could get dangerous.” Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him and figured it was okay to let him navigate.

For once in her life, Maiya Rossini believed she deserved a little happy-ever-after.

About the Author

Dorothy F. Shaw lives in Arizona, where the weather is hot and the sunsets are always beautiful. She spends her days in the corporate world, and her nights with her Mac on her lap. Between her ever-open heart, her bright red hair and her many colorful tattoos, she truly lives and loves in Technicolor!

As Dorothy sees it, the journey is the best part.

Dorothy welcomes emails at:
[email protected]
and can also be found on:

www.facebook.com/dorothyfshaw
,
www.twitter.com/DorothyFShaw
, and
www.dorothyfshaw.com
.

Look for these titles by Dorothy F. Shaw

Coming Soon:

The Donnellys

Defensive Heart

Shattered Heart

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