Unworthy Heart: The Donnellys, Book 1 (29 page)

Chapter Forty

Ryan wasn’t sure what time they’d drifted off to sleep, not that it mattered. What mattered was he was there, and Maiya was in his arms.

The rattle of a wet cough and then a raspy voice broke the silence. “Who the hell are you?”

Maiya jerked awake at the sound of Joanie’s voice and pushed herself up on one arm. “Mommy?”

“Depends on who’s asking.” Joanie grumbled. “Christ, I feel like shit.”

Getting up, Maiya went to her side. “How are you feeling?” She took her mother’s hand.

“I just said I feel like shit, didn’t you hear me?”

Ryan righted the recliner and watched the exchange between the two. So this was Maiya’s mother in action. She seemed like a peach.
Not.

“Aside from that.”

“Like I want to sleep. What happened?”

“Mrs. Janowick found you unconscious. Evidently your liver isn’t doing so hot.”

Joanie snorted, but didn’t comment. Maybe the snort
was
the comment.

Maiya reached for the call button. “I’ll get the nurse.”

Joanie caught Maiya’s hand. “I want to go home, Emmie.”

“No way in hell. You’re not going anywhere, Mom.” Depressing the button, Maiya signaled for the nurse.

Joanie strained to sit up but started coughing and wheezing. Maiya supported her mother’s back to help her lie back down. “Easy, Mommy.”

Joanie struggled and swatted at her daughter, barely missing Maiya’s cheek. She grabbed Joanie’s arm and restrained her. “Knock it off, Mom! I’m not screwing around with you. This is serious. Are you listening to me?”

Ryan rushed to Maiya and put his hand on her shoulder. Joanie stilled and closed her eyes, but continued coughing. Maiya turned to look at him, anger and fear burning hot as fire in her eyes. “I can’t do this. I am
not
fucking doing this!” Jerking away from him, she fisted both hands at her sides.

A nurse came in and immediately examined Joanie. “Everything okay here?” She’d obviously heard Maiya’s outburst from the hall.

Tension filled the room and Ryan took a step back. Maiya wrapped her arms around her stomach and stayed quiet.

The nurse grabbed a package from the cabinet and then fitted oxygen tubing across Joanie’s face. When she was done, she raised the angle of the bed, elevating Joanie’s head higher. “She needs to stay calm. I’ll page the doctor and let him know she’s regained consciousness.”

Maiya paced, chewing on her thumbnail.

“I’ll go get us some coffee.” Ryan waited for a reply. When there was none, he put on his shoes and headed to the hospital cafeteria.

When he approached the room with two coffees and a bag of pastries, he spotted Maiya in the hall talking to who he assumed was the doctor. Giving her some privacy, he stepped into the room. And discovered a very awake Joanie.

“You’re the one aren’t you?” Joanie let out a gravely wheeze.

Ryan set the items on the table. “I guess it depends on what you mean by ‘the one’.”

Joanie coughed a couple times. “Another smart ass. You two must get along real nice then.”

“That’s one way of looking at it.” Chuckling, he stepped over to her bedside. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Rossini. My name’s Ryan Donnelly.” He took her limp hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Polite too.” Her lips curved into a weak smile. “You’re the one that’s
not
the flavor of the month.” Closing her eyes, Joanie drew in a shallow breath.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Don’t play dumb, I can already see you’re a smart dude. C’mere.” Joanie waved him closer and he bent forward.

Placing a shaking hand on his cheek, she gazed into his eyes. Hers might’ve been a bright blue at one time. Now they appeared dull, tired. Sadness colored Ryan’s thoughts. He felt bad her life had turned out the way it did, and he could only imagine what dreams she must’ve had once upon a time. Life knocked people down sometimes, and it could be so hard to get back up and move forward. It made him think of Tammy. Some people never got back up.

“Don’t let her push you away, okay?” Her voice was weak and then she turned her head away and cleared her throat. Facing him again, she continued. “My Emmie? She’s stubborn. She pushes everyone away. You’re different though.” She patted his cheek. “She deserves you, Mr. Donnelly, so don’t let her think any different. Don’t let her run you off with her hard exterior, understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Ryan took the hand she held to his face and then kissed the back of it. “Rest for a bit, okay?”

“Sure, sure.” She looked up at the ceiling. “Christ, I want a cigarette.” She snorted and coughed, but then closed her eyes and appeared to fall asleep.

Maiya walked back into the room and found Ryan bent over her mother. She was talking, but Maiya couldn’t hear what she was saying. Then Ryan took her mother’s hand in his and kissed it. What in the world could her mother have said to make him do that? Noticing the coffees he’d bought, Maiya grabbed one off the table.

Ryan approached and took the other cup. “What did the doctor say?”

She took a sip before answering, letting the hot brew warm her too-cold insides. “They’re concerned about her lungs. It’s the reason for the oxygen tubing. Good chance she’s got pneumonia now.”

Opening the bag, he took out a cheese Danish for her. “That doesn’t sound good.”

Maiya took the offered pastry and nibbled the edge. Frustration pricked at her nerves. It bugged the ever-loving crap out of her that he’d talked to her mom and she hadn’t been there. Not like he wasn’t allowed or anything, she just…she wanted to know what the woman, who never said anything nice to anyone, said to him. With her mother, one never knew what might come out of her mouth. Screw it. “What did she say to you?”

He paused, mid-sip, and stared at her over the rim of the foam cup. “She said I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Shut up! She did not, did she? Oh my God, I am so sorry.” She put her hand on her forehead and shook her head.

How mortifying. But it was
her
mother, after all. The woman said what she wanted to whoever she wanted. Didn’t matter if they were the damn President of the United States, if Joanie Rossini didn’t like a person, she had no problem telling them.

“Shh, baby, relax.” He chuckled. “I’m kidding. That’s not what she said.”

Maiya frowned. “Not funny. That’s absolutely something she
would
say, you know.” She huffed and took another bite of the Danish. “Thank you for breakfast,” she said around a mouthful.

He leaned forward and kissed her, her mouth still full of food. “Mmm.”

She swallowed. “That’s kinda gross.”

“Nope, just makes you sweeter.” He smiled.

“Will you two shut up? Trying to sleep over here.” Joanie groaned.

“Nice to see your disposition is still normal, Mom.”

“Find a way to get me a drink and a cigarette and my disposition’ll be just fine.”

“Sorry, no can do.” Maiya went to her. “Get some rest. We’ll go downstairs for a bit. Okay?” She smoothed her mother’s hair back from her forehead.

“Quit fussing over me, Emmie. Go with your man there. I’m not going nowhere.”

Leaning in, Maiya kissed the top of her head. “Yes, Mother. I love you too.” Maiya picked up her coffee and what was left of her pastry and headed for the door. She didn’t look back, assuming Ryan was following.

When they got outside and she’d lit her first cigarette of the day, he spoke up. “She told me to take care of you.”

Maiya glared at him and exhaled a plume of smoke. “My mother would never say something like that.”

Ryan sat on the bench. “Well she did. She said a few other things, but I think I’ll keep those to myself. For now.”

“That’s fucked up.” She took another draw on the filtered tip.

“Yeah, well. You’ll get over it.” He nudged her shoulder. “Contrary to what you believe, babe, your mother might love you.”

“What? Five minutes with her and suddenly you’re a Joanie expert?” She shook her head. “I’m sure she loves me, she just has a really fucked up way of showing it.”

“Maiya, come on. I’m saying she cares about you. She wants you happy.”

“She said this to you?”

He rubbed her back. “More or less.”

“Well,” she took another drag and exhaled, “I’m glad you see it, ’cause I don’t. But, whatever.” She stood and walked to the edge of the sidewalk. The urge to keep walking and not turn back thrummed in time with her heart. Everything about the conversation had Maiya gritting her teeth with annoyance. Words were cheap, after all.

Fuck it. Fuck everything.

“I’ll be back.” She walked off, determined to clear her head and expel some of her agitation. She’d gone from zero to pissed off in one hot nanosecond and she didn’t want or need him near her right now. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Maiya shook her hands at her sides, trying to release some of the energy building inside her body.

She just needed to breathe.

Ryan watched while Maiya walked away from him. It was obvious she was annoyed—the stress of the situation getting to her. He wasn’t going to take any of her behavior to heart. She’d be bound to lash out, and if she lashed out at him, then so be it. He’d handle it.

After waiting on the metal bench for an hour—ass gone numb—Maiya returned. Reclaiming her seat beside him, she lit a cigarette. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He stroked his fingers through her soft hair. “Feeling any better?”

“Yeah, I just needed to clear my head.” She leaned forward and tapped her cigarette, dropping ashes on to the pavement in front of them. “I need a shower.”

He rubbed her back. “I think that can be arranged.”

Nervous tension roiled off her in waves he could practically see and feel. How things would turn out with her mother, and the reality of powerlessness was enough to build his own barrel of nervous energy.

His sole focus was Maiya and being there to support her, and like her mother said, not allowing her to push him away. Though he knew he had no way of stopping her if that’s what she chose. Once Maiya set her mind on something, there was no arguing with her, no changing her mind. But Ryan was all in now. No going back. He’d just have to show her, and find a way to make her believe.

“Let’s go back upstairs.”

The sound of her soft, raspy voice pulled Ryan from his thoughts. “Sure, babe.”

Taking her hand in his, they made their way back to her mother’s room. Joanie appeared to be in a deep sleep, and while Maiya showered in the small stall in the attached bathroom, he spoke with the nurse. They’d given her a sedative to force her body to rest. Her lungs had gotten worse; apparently pneumonia was a common complication in situations like this.

Maiya emerged from the shower looking a whole hell of a lot better than when she went in. His heart ached as he relayed the information the nurse had given about Joanie’s decreasing condition. Her face fell and she turned on her heel and left the room.

Ryan gathered a fresh change of clothes and took his own shower. It was almost lunchtime, and although Maiya probably didn’t have much of an appetite, he intended on making sure she ate anyway. As he got under the warm spray, the only thing occupying his mind was Maiya. Visions of the last few weeks, and even prior to the start of their affair, played before his eyes, soothing the ache in his heart. Fighting with her, debating with her, and now, loving her was by far the best damn thing on the planet.

Ryan was in love with her, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

When he finished making himself presentable, he grabbed his cell and made a quick call home to check on Jacob. Of course, his son was doing fine with his Uncle Jimmy, and he didn’t even want to get on the phone with Ryan. Instead, his son yelled in the background, “I love you, Daddy. Kiss Maiya for me.”

Jimmy laughed and started to relay the message. Ryan chuckled and let him know he’d heard Jacob loud and clear and then thanked his brother for giving him the help he needed in order to be there for Maiya.

During the call, he remembered the picture Jacob had colored for Joanie. When Maiya came back in the room, looking on the verge of tears, he showed it to her. “Jacob colored it when I was packing for my flight. He wanted me to hang it where your mother could see it and feel better.”

She took the crayon-colored picture from his hands and stared at it. Then the tears came.

“Aw, my girl. It’s okay.”

She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. “None of this is okay.”

When Maiya got the water works under control, she sent Ryan to get some tape from the nurse’s station. The child had to be the sweetest boy on the planet. She missed him and his bright, inquisitive eyes and gentle smile. A lot. And his hugs…she missed his endearing little hugs too.

Damn, she’d grown attached to Jacob fast. Maiya swiped away the wetness on her cheeks. Jesus, would she ever stop crying? She was already in too deep with Ryan, and now she’d fallen head over heels in love with his son.

Ryan returned with strips of tape stuck to two of his fingers—on each hand. “Those nurses are
really
protective over their tape. Seriously, they wouldn’t let me take the roll. This was their solution. Help, please?” He whimpered. “I think they did it just to see if I’d let them.”

“I think you’re right. Come here, sticky digits.” She waved him closer. “Don’t get any ideas there, dude. You just keep those fingers away from my pockets.” With a grin she pulled the first strip of tape free and taped one corner of the picture to the wall, and then followed with the other three.

Together they took a step back and admired Jacob’s artwork. Ryan snaked his arm around her waist and she let herself lean into him. “It’s adorable. He’s such a sweet boy.”

He rubbed her side. “You think she’ll like it?”

“With my mother? You never know, but she might. I’m wondering if she’ll get to see it.” Maiya glanced over her shoulder at her mother.

“She will, babe.” He pulled her into an embrace.

Wrapping her arms around him, she buried her face in his neck and took a deep breath. His scent flowed into her lungs, the special scent that was all Ryan. “I’m scared,” she mumbled against his skin.