Virtue & Vanity (31 page)

He leaned over to me and whispered in my ear. “My angel has a dirty mind. Must you always doubt me?” A deep shade of red settled on my cheeks and Sebastian brushed his knuckles against one of them and lifted up my chin. “What I want is far more innocent and not at all scary.” His soft voice warmed me and I felt like my knees were getting weak. “Just a smile, Isabelle. All I ask for is to see you smile.” Encouraged by his inviting voice, a weak smile appeared on my lips and he smiled back at me before walking towards the piano.

I inhaled a chunk of stale air, fighting the fever that spread over my body before joining him. I sat on one of the chairs near the piano and observed as he settled his graceful long fingers on the keys. He lifted up his face, confronting me with his interrogating gaze.

“Any special requests?” he asked, smiling at me.

“I... I think I want you to surprise me,” I requested with a warm expression on my face.

“Challenge accepted,” he said and returned his attention to the keys of the piano.

My eyes were frozen on his fingers, waiting in anticipation for him to start playing. After a few moments, the wonderful sound of the piano broke the deadly silence that ruled the house. It felt as though all the shadows that frightened me were chased away by the magical music that filled the room. Sebastian was completely wrapped up in his own world, pouring himself into the music he was creating. Closing my eyes, I drifted into my own world as well. Entranced by the magical sound of the music, I traveled into my happy place, filled with beautiful roses, the soothing sound of the water and the feeling of serenity. As I was doing that, I created a comfortable connection with the person who was taking me there—the only person who had the ability to make me feel better, regardless of the bitter past and the uncertain present. As the fascinating sound of the music subsided, I slowly opened my eyes and saw him gaping at me.

“That was beautiful.” I smiled widely, paying for his performance in the desired currency.

“Nothing is more beautiful than the look in your eyes right now.” I blushed at his comment and bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling like a little girl. My reactions to him were driving me crazy.

“What...” My voice caught on so I had to clear my throat before continuing. “What is the name of the composition?”

“Nocturne—the music of the night,” he whispered. “It’s my favorite and one of the rare ones I know by heart.”

I observed him in wonder. “When did you learn to play?”

He looked at me with nostalgia in his eyes. “When I was little, my mother insisted on piano lessons. It was the drill. I used to hate it, but now I’m glad my parents made me do it.”

Hearing him say that made me think of my own parents. They never insisted on developing our talents. As a matter of fact, it had been the last thing on their minds.

“It’s fascinating. I always wanted to learn, but never got a chance to do it,” I said with apparent regret.

“Well, today is your lucky day, princess. Come, sit next to me.” He tucked the empty space on the large piano chair he was sitting on.

Hesitating, I blinked a few times before accepting his offer and sitting next to him. He smiled at me and gently laid my hand on the piano keys before covering my fingers with his own. The current brought about by his innocent touch flowed through me again and I felt like my body was being taken over by the force I couldn’t control.

“What are we going to play?” I asked to keep my mind from thinking about his touch.

He smiled. “Hmm... I think I want you to surprise me.”

“Challenge accepted,” I breathed.

His skillful hand started guiding my fingers through the piano keys and suddenly we were playing the familiar melody. I started laughing because I felt so happy that we were doing this together.

He leaned close to me and whispered in my ear. “What is this beautiful melody you are playing?”

I chuckled and whispered in an almost inaudible voice. “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.”

At that moment, my mind filled with fresh memories of the night sky, the falling stars and the beautiful, loving sound of the music that warmed up my heart.

He looked at me softly, with pure affection gleaming from his bright eyes and I melted into the sensation. Our lips were so dangerously close, almost touching, and we took a breath at the same time. Sebastian was filled with painful restraint and so was I. I could tell he would push me away because he was about to lose control but instead of letting him do that, I leaned even closer so that our noses were touching and I parted my lips, drawing in another breath and causing Sebastian to swallow loudly and exhale almost like he was in pain.

“You are worthy. You are worthy of me, Sebastian,” I whispered and as sudden realization surged through him, his lips landed on mine in an instant and he kissed me gently, catching my upper lip with his lips, savoring the feeling for a few moments before he moved away without deepening the kiss.

My whole body trembled from the impact of his warm lips.
I was falling
...

Chapter Thirty-Five

The aroma of fresh coffee that spread around the house woke me up and my eyes snapped open, taking in the space around me. That room still scared me senseless, but the warm memories from the previous night made me feel at ease. I remembered the stars, Sebastian’s story, the captivating sound of the piano, his soft touch and—his lips on mine. The very thought of our short kiss made me shiver and I knew that things wouldn’t be the same between us anymore. To a certain point, it felt awkward to face him after everything that happened. I kept wondering how I would react if he decided to kiss me again. Little by little, I began accepting the fact that he was my husband because his nice gestures provided me with the peace I’d hungered for so long, and I truly believed there had been nothing wrong with our kiss.

In the last couple of months, we had experienced such a drastic change that influenced the very nature of our marriage, and while I was happy we were making progress, I was defeated by the unnerving awareness that we were getting closer to that one big step. And the very idea of being intimate with Sebastian still mortified me. I was so happy with the way things were between us and I was afraid that intimacy could somehow ruin it all. Still, despite Sebastian’s admirable patience and understanding, I knew we couldn’t live like this forever. Even though his compassionate demeanor made it clear that I was the one who held the power to make the decision about the moment we would start living like a real married couple, I was aware that soon I would be running out of excuses and the thought made me nervous. Something was changing within me, and the speed in which Sebastian managed to erase the terror I felt towards him and work his way around my cautiously guarded walls, fascinated and scared me.

The storm of gloomy thoughts was disrupted by that scent of coffee that kept tempting my senses and I decided to finally give in and follow its inviting aroma. As I descended the stairs and walked through the big hallway where the portraits of Sebastian’s ancestors were placed, I willed myself to remain walking straight because I didn’t need the stress only one glance at Collin Everett could produce. But as usual, my curiosity surpassed the warnings of common sense and before I could stop myself, I looked towards his portrait only to end up gazing at the empty spot on the wall. The painting had been removed and I knew Sebastian was the one who took it down.
Another gesture, another stitch gone.

Blinking a few times, I walked towards the conjoined kitchen and dining room area and the sight in front of me was astonishing. Sebastian was standing in front of a fully set breakfast table. Other than the time when he’d made me a cup of tea, I had never seen him go anywhere near the kitchen, and somehow I had always believed he was too vain to do these things by himself. Come to think of it, I had never seen him pour a cup of coffee, let alone make one by himself. It was hard to hide my surprise.

“I thought you might be hungry when you woke up,” he said softly, letting me know he noticed my confusion, and my eyes darted towards the tray that was placed on the table.

There were two cups of coffee and a plate filled with pancakes.
Sebastian could make pancakes?
My initial surprise by his cooking abilities which were apparently, to my disgrace, by far better than mine, was disrupted when I looked at him and slowly took in his appearance. Just like that evening when he took me to the movies, he wore a pair of jeans and a dark blue T-Shirt. He had probably taken a shower in the early morning because his hair was still wet and some of the damp strands fell over his light and freshly-shaved face. The moment I looked into his green eyes that radiated some kind of a newfound peace within him, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I was staring at the most beautiful man on the face of the earth. The less I feared him, the more I began to realize that I wasn’t completely immune to his breathtaking beauty.

“I didn’t know you like to cook,” I said quietly to make the fact that I was carried away by him less obvious.

He smiled. “No, I don’t like to cook. Actually, I hate it.”

He started approaching me and I was frozen in place. I. Couldn’t. Stop. Staring. “But it smells so…” He was standing in front of me and my mind went vacant as the scent of his cologne claimed the tight space between us. He gazed at me, waiting to hear the ending of my sentence. I swallowed and pushed out the words in a shaky breath. “...so delicious.”

He wasn’t a fool. It was clear he could see all too well the reaction he was causing within me. A victorious smirk appeared on his face as he leaned closer to me and started whispering the confirmation to my doubts in a self-assured voice. “What is delicious?” His lips gently brushed against my ear. “Me? Or the pancakes?”

I gasped as a current that was both pleasant and unpleasant, streamed through my body and he chuckled.

“S-Sebastian.” I looked at him with a mixture of unwelcome curiosity and slight desperation because I couldn’t handle his closeness anymore. Without actually doing anything, he was doing something to me. After gaping at my flushed face for a few moments that felt like eternity, he started laughing.

“It’s just a joke, angel.”

In a light kiss, his lips leaned against my forehead and slowly trailed down my face until his nose softly touched mine and our lips leveled up. Feeling his captivating minty breath on my skin filled me with anticipation, and my heart started beating in a crazy, loud rhythm.
He’s going to kiss me again.

The emerald eyes gazed at me with brightness, building tension, and I could feel my eyes widen in the guidance of his powerful stare. “Sometimes it’s so hard to resist the temptation.” He held an expression of self-discipline and moderate perplexity as his hand slid down my shoulder, all the way to my wrist, producing goose bumps on the trailed path of my skin and he stared at me intensely, like he was losing some kind of an inner battle. “You shouldn’t look at me like that, Isabelle. Not yet. Not unless you’re ready for me to look at you in the same way,” he whispered gently and his breath brushed the delicate skin of my mouth, but instead of kissing me in the way I expected, he slowly pushed his head up and placed a tender kiss on the bridge of my nose, stepping away from me.

“Sebastian, I...” I swallowed, fighting the sudden flood of emotion.

“I didn’t mean to scare you beautiful,” he said in a light voice. “But I can’t help it. After all, I’m only a man.” His stare shifted into something raw and possessive and I felt his eyes pierce through me. Composing himself, he caressed my cheek and I gulped at the feeling of his touch. “There’s only so much a man can take,” he muttered like it was hard for him to say the words.

The fact that my newfound attraction towards him had been so transparent made me feel ashamed, and it triggered the series of unsettling thoughts about intimacy again. He was absolutely right. I wasn’t at all ready to see desire in his eyes yet. Uneasy, I focused my eyes on the table and stared at the pancakes.

His alluring voice made me look back at him. “Don’t get your hopes up. It’s the only thing I can make and I haven’t cooked since college, so I can’t guarantee that it’s edible.” He smiled and pulled out a chair for me. He seemed to understand that I wasn’t ready to talk about what happened moments ago and I was grateful for that.

Smiling back, I sat on the chair and reached for the pancake, but his hand gently took hold of mine and stopped me.

“Allow me,” he said in a soft voice and placed the pancake on my plate. “Maple syrup?” He raised his eyebrows and I nodded.

After spreading some syrup on my plate, he took a seat across the table from me and observed with curiosity as I took a bite of the pancake. At first, I hesitated trying the small piece of hot dough on my fork, but once I took a bite, it melted in my mouth and tasted like pure heaven. I looked at him incredulously, because I couldn’t believe he could prepare something so tasty. This was another side of him that I couldn’t have even imagined existed.

“This is the best pancake I’ve ever had,” I praised his cooking and he smiled at me.

“You obviously haven’t tried many pancakes, have you?” He chuckled.

“No, I haven’t,” I said in a soft voice. “But this one is really good.” I took another bite and it tasted even better that the first one. “It’s almost addictive.”

“I guess I’ll have to make them more often, then.”

“I’d really like that.” I smiled, savoring the combination of delicious food and coffee that caused an explosion on my taste buds. “How about tomorrow?”

Sebastian took a sip of his coffee and then looked at me softly.

“I’m afraid it will have to wait since I’ll be gone for a week.” I stared at him in confusion and he smiled, offering an explanation. “I’m leaving on a business trip.”

For the first time, I was kind of disappointed that he was leaving for that long, but I had already gotten used to the fact that he was often absent and up until now I had never really missed his presence. Something told me that this time it might be different.

I gazed at him with a light expression on my face and uttered a question I had never dared to ask before. “Where are you going?”

He smirked at me kind of boyishly, with a mysterious glow in his eyes. “Paris,” he said calmly, as if going on such a trip was a regular thing for him while I gasped at the very mention of that city. Then I remembered who he was and I realized that most of the things that fascinated me didn’t affect him in the least.

“You... You’re going to Paris?” I asked in a surprised voice.

He chuckled. “I know what you’re thinking, but Paris is no fun if you have to experience it on your own. I’ll take you, if you want to go, but not when I’m there on business.”

The little girl inside me squeaked at his offer, but the thought of visiting Paris with Sebastian still didn’t seem like a good idea because I knew what would happen if he took me there. He looked at me expectantly and I felt pressured to speak.

Led by my desperate need to change the subject, I simply nodded and decided to try my luck by asking another question I had never dared to ask until now. “Sebastian...” He gave me his full attention and I already started blushing because of what I would ask him. “What... What is it that you do?” I asked, feeling funny about the fact I had no idea what his company was actually about.

He smirked at me and crossed his arms, leaning his back on the chair. “It’s outrageous that you don’t know what your husband does for a living,” he said in teasing voice. “Don’t you think?” He arched his eyebrows and I blushed in embarrassment.

“I... It’s just that I never...” I had no idea what I actually wanted to say.

The feeling of shame that swept over me had to have amused him, because he started laughing again. “I’m an architect. I design buildings all over the world and then build them for millions of dollars profit.”

I gaped in wonder. “And you’re building something in Paris?”

He produced a self-confident expression on his face and the ruthless businessman side of him came to the surface. “If the negotiations go well, I am.”

“I assume you’re really good at negotiating,” I said what I was thinking out loud.

He narrowed his eyes at me and smiled. “I guess you could say that. Once I find something I want, I don’t give up until I seal the deal and make it mine.”

Affected by his words, I asked quietly. “So, even if it seems impossible to get whatever it is that you want, you never simply let it go and move on?”

He looked down and it seemed as though he was lost in thoughts for a while. “No,” he said in a decisive tone and slowly lifted up his head again. “Not if I can help it.”

The green emerald eyes bored into me, and I swallowed hard, sensing the undertone of his words and the message he was trying to send me.

Pretending to be oblivious to what he was trying to say, I commented on his sentence. “Such life is probably filled with stress and pressure,” I uttered, more to myself than him.

He shrugged. “Not if you’re investing time and energy in something or someone you love.” Even though he said it in a whisper, the magnitude of his voice traveled to me with such power that it woke up something inside of me.

For a moment I was speechless and then I asked the first thing that came to mind. “Have you designed something I know about?” I asked in a voice that was kind of shaky, trying to keep the expression of curiosity on my face.

He snickered, knowing I was deliberately misunderstanding him. “As a matter of fact, I have.” I looked at him in anticipation. “I designed our house.”

He said it again.
Our house.
The fact that he designed something as imposing and beautiful as the mansion we lived in left me bewildered.

“It’s magnificent. You should be proud of yourself for creating such a unique structure,” I said with admiration.

He smiled kind of sadly. “It’s just a house. The real art is turning it into a home.”

“You don’t feel like that house is your home?” I asked in surprise.

He raised his eyebrows. “Do you?” he asked like he already knew the answer to his question.

Something squeezed around my heart. I remembered how he had told me we were going home the first time he was taking me there. Even though things between us now seemed to be going much better than at that time, I still couldn’t bring myself to think about that house as my home. Not with bad memories lurking behind every door. I took in a breath, delaying the torture of having to lie to him and just when I parted my lips to say something, he preceded me.