Volpone and Other Plays (49 page)

To th'
cunning-man
, make him amends for wronging

His art with her suspicion; send a ring

Or chain or pearl; she will be tortured else

Extremely in her sleep, say, and ha' strange things

Come to her. Wilt thou?

DOL COMMON
:                     Yes.

SUBTLE
:                                         My fine
flitter-mouse
,

My bird o' the night! We'll tickle it at the
Pigeons
,

90         When we have all, and may unlock the trunks,

And say, this's mine, and thine; and thine, and mine.

     
They kiss
.

     [
Re-enter
FACE.]

FACE
: What now! a-billing?

SUBTLE
:                                 Yes, a little exalted

In the good passage of our stock-affairs.

FACE
: Drugger has brought his parson; take him in, Subtle,

And send Nab back again to wash his face.

SUBTLE
: I will. And shave himself?

FACE
:                                                        If you can get him.

     [
Exit
SUBTLE.]

DOL COMMON
: You are hot upon it, Face, whate' er it is!

FACE
: A trick that Dol shall spend ten pound a month by.

     [
Re-enter
SUBTLE.]

Is he gone?

SUBTLE
: The chaplain waits you i' the hall, sir.

100  
FACE
: I'll go bestow him.

     [
Exit
.]

DOL COMMON
:                He'll now marry her instantly.

SUBTLE
: He cannot yet, he is not ready. Dear Dol,

Cozen her of all thou canst. To deceive him

Is no deceit, but justice, that would break

Such an inextricable tie as ours was.

DOL COMMON
: Let me alone to fit him.

     [
Re-enter
FACE.]

FACE
:                                                                  Come, my venturers,

You ha' packed up all? Where be the trunks? Bring forth.

SUBTLE
: Here.

FACE
:                 Let's see 'em. Where's the money?

SUBTLE
:                                                                              Here,

In this.

FACE
:        Mammon's ten pound; eight score before.

The Brethren's money this. Drugger's and Dapper's?

110       What paper's that?

DOL COMMON
:             The jewel of the waiting-maid's,

That stole it from her lady, to know certain –

FACE
: If she should have precedence of her mistress?

DOL COMMON
:                                                                             Yes.

FACE
: What box is that?

SUBTLE
:                       The fish-wives' rings, I think,

And th' ale-wives'
single
money. Is't not, Dol?

DOL COMMON
:             Yes, and the whistle that the sailor's wife

Brought you to know an' her husband were with Ward.

FACE
: We'll wet it tomorrow; and our silver beakers

And tavern cups. Where be the French petticoats

And
girdles
and hangers?

SUBTLE
:                                 Here, i' the trunk,

And the bolts of lawn.

120  
FACE
:   Is Drugger's damask there,

And the tobacco?

SUBTLE
:                  Yes.

FACE
:                              Give me the keys.

DOL COMMON
: Why you the keys?

SUBTLE
:                                                 No matter, Dol; because

We shall not open 'em before he comes.

FACE
: 'Tis true, you shall not open them, indeed;

Nor have 'em forth, do you see? Not forth, Dol

DOL COMMON
:                                                                     No!

FACE
: No, my smock-rampant. The
right
is, my master

Knows all, has pardoned me, and he will keep 'em.

Doctor, 'tis true – you look – for all your figures!

130      I sent for him, indeed. Wherefore, good partners,

Both he and she, be satisfied; for here

Determines
the poem3aure tripartite

‘Twixt Subde, Dol, and Face. All I can do

Is to help you over the wall, o' the back-side,

Or lend you a sheet to save your velvet gown, Dol

Here will be officers presently; bethink you

Of some course suddenly to 'scape the dock;

For thither you'll come else.

     [
Loud knocking at the door
.]

                                                              Hark you, thunder!

SUBTLE
: You are a precious fiend!

OFFICERS
[
without
]:                       Open the door!

FACE
: Dol, I am sorry for thee, i' faith; but hear'st thou?

140       It shall go hard, but I will place thee somewhere.

Thou shalt ha' my letter to Mistress Amo –

DOL COMMON
:                                                              Hang you!

FACE
: Or Madam Caesarean.

DOL COMMON
:                         Pox upon you, rogue,

Would I had but time to beat thee!

FACE
:                                                            Subtle,

Let's know where you set up next; I'll send you

A customer now and then, for old acquaintance.

What new course ha' you?

SUBTLE
:                                    Rogue, I'll hang myself,

That I may walk a greater devil than thou,

And haunt thee i' the
flock-bed
and the buttery.

     [
Exeunt
.]

V,v                 [
Enter
LOVEWIT
in Spanish dress, with the Parson. Loud knocking

          
at the door
.]

[
LOVEWIT
:] What do you mean, my masters?

MAMMON
[
without
]:                                             Open your door,

Cheaters, bawds, conjurers!

OFFICER
[
without
]:                 Or we'll break it open.

LOVEWIT
: What warrant have you?

OFFICER
[
without
]:                           Warrant enough, sir, doubt

         not,

If you'll not open it.

LOVEWIT
:                      Is there an officer there?

OFFICER
[
without
]: Yes, two or three for failing.

LOVEWIT
:                                                                         Have but patience,

And I will open it straight.

      [
Enter
FACE
in his butler's livery
.]

FACE
:                                              Sir, ha' you done?

Is it a marriage? Perfect?

LOVEWIT
:                              Yes, my brain.

FACE
: Off with your ruff and cloak then; be yourself, sir.

SURLY
[
without
]: Down with the door.

KASTRIL
[
without
]:                              'Slight, ding it open.

LOVEWIT
[
throwing off his disguise and opening the door
]: Hold,

10           Hold, gentlemen, what means this violence?

      [
Enter
MAMMON, SURLY, KASTRIL, ANANIAS, TRIBULATION

      
WHOLESOME
,
and
OFFICERS
.]

MAMMON
: Where is this collier?

SURLY
:                                            And my Captain Face?

MAMMON
: These day-owls.

SURLY
:                                 That are
birding
in men's purses.

MAMMON
: Madam Suppository.

KASTRIL
:                                          Doxy, my suster.

ANANIAS
:                                                                        Locusts

Of the foul pit.

TRIBULATION
:    Profane as Bel and the Dragon.

ANANIAS
: Worse than the grasshoppers or the lice of Egypt.

LOVEWIT
: Good gentlemen, hear me. Are you officers,

And cannot stay this violence?

OFFICER
:                                            Keep the peace.

LOVEWIT
: Gentlemen, what is the matter? Whom do you seek?

MAMMON
: The chemical cozener.

SURLY
:                                                 And the captain pandar.

KASTRIL
: The nun, my suster.

MAMMON
:                                    Madam Rabbi.

20   
ANANIAS
:                                                               Scorpions,

And caterpillars.

LOVEWIT
:              Fewer at once, I pray you.

OFFICER
: One after another, gentlemen, I charge you,

By virtue of my staff.

ANANIAS
:                    They are the vessels

Of pride, lust, and the cart.

LOVEWIT
:                                   Good zeal. lie still

A little while.

TRIBULATION
: Peace, Deacon Ananias.

LOVEWIT
: The house is mine here, and the doors are open;

If there be any such persons as you seek for,

Use your authority, search on o' God's name.

I am but newly come to town, and finding

30        This tumult ' bout my door, to tell you true,

It somewhat ' mazed me; till my man here, fearing

My more displeasure, told me he had done

Somewhat an insolent part, let out my house

(Belike presuming on my known aversion

From any air o' the town while there was sickness),

To a Doctor and a Captain; who, what they are

Or where they be, he knows not.

MAMMON
:                                           Are they gone?

LOVEWIT
: You may go in and search, sir.

     
They enter
.

                                                                         Here, I find

The empty walls worse than I left 'em, smoked,

40        A few cracked pots, and glasses, and a furnace;

The ceiling filled with poesies of the candle,

And '
Madam with a dildo
' writ o' the walls.

Only one gentlewoman I met here,

That is within, that said she was a widow –

KASTRIL
: Ay, that's my suster; I'll go thump her. Where is she?

      [
Goes in
.]

LOVEWIT
: And should ha' married a Spanish count, but he,

When he came to't, neglected her so grossly,

That I, a widower, am gone through with her.

SURLY
: How! have I lost her, then?

LOVEWIT
:                                             Were you the Don, sir?