Waking Up (18 page)

Adriana chuckles.  “Yeah.  I remember Alex begging me to let him come for even half a day.  Saying he’d totally stay out of our way.  I told him my B cup tits were going to be insecure enough without him ogling all the bikini beauties we’d be shooting.”  I can’t believe she was insecure about any part of her body.  When I look at her, all I see is
perfection.
  I need her to stop talking about her tits, though.  Just thinking about them is making my pants a tad too tight.  I need to stop my thought direction or need some distraction for my eyes that are now staring at her perfect tits.  As if she can read my mind, she starts talking again which is good because that means no one is looking at me so I can comfortably adjust the thickening going on under the table.

“I did promise him a calendar to appease him.  Having never done a calendar shoot, I swear Alahna and I went over our checklist a thousand times.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t a million?  It felt like a million.”  Alahna is smiling up at Adriana, but she’s rubbing Preston’s arm while she sits on his lap.

“It was a lot.  I know that.  The whole drive there, we mentally and verbally went over it some more we were so nervous.  We joked that Dee’s OCD was wearing off on us.”

“Hey. Bitches!”  We all laugh because we know Deidre doesn’t give two shits about what Adriana said.

“At the restaurant, Glen, the manager, helped us unload and bring our gear in.  They had a function room they weren’t booking while we did the shoot.  The girls had already worked out who did what months and ideas for group shots.  They had some props and backgrounds.  We brought the rest.  It worked out well.  As we were setting up our lights, we hear “Holy fucking shitballs, the photographers are hot.  Maybe they should be in the calendar because they sure as fuck are better looking than half the girls here.”
 
  I wheeled around to see this absolutely stunning women standing in front of me.  Even though she was only a few inches taller than me, I felt like a little girl standing next to a woman.  Everything about her screamed seduction and I instantly felt shy.”  

I could see Mickayla disarming women.  If her brazen personality didn’t intimidate them, her looks sure would.  Like Adriana said, she’s not a tall woman, but she more than fills out her tiny frame and she’s a knock out. And Adriana’s right, she does scream seductress.  Her long auburn hair only makes her emerald eyes more pronounced and her Angelina Jolie lips must drive men nuts.  Besides that, her tits must be a D cup.  Add that to the curves she has going on and you forget that it’s all on a short frame.  That girl is smoldering.  Blake’s a lucky man.  

She still has nothing on Adriana.

“A few of the girls laughed at the comment, but one was really pissed.  She was giving killer looks at Mick and told her she was the one who needed to be replaced.  In typical Mickayla fashion, she walked up to us and told us not to mind Lucy, elongating the “oo” sound, skulking in the corner.  That her name fit her well if we knew what she meant and that the lips on her face weren’t the only ones that were loose.”

We all burst out laughing.  Mickayla stands up and takes a bow, making a comment that she’s always been good with words.  Adriana is shaking her head and I’m starting to think we may never get to the end of this story.  A few of us are getting a little tipsy.  There’s some definite groping going on and there’s a lot of side comments.

“Guys, can I keep going?” Adriana asks with a smile on her face.  A round of replies are made that resemble yes, so she starts again, “Mick said this rather loudly.  The other girls laughed while Lucy stormed out of the room.  I felt bad for Lucy for about two seconds until Mick told me that Lucy used to be her best friend.  Until she slept with Mick’s boyfriend.  Alahna and I figured she deserved the comment then and it was pretty fitting.  Turns out Lucy had had enough and quit that day, which worked out better because everyone was in a great mood after she left and the numbers worked out better.”

“Huh?  Wouldn’t that have left you with eleven girls?” I ask.  Shit.  I did it again.  Ran my mouth without thinking.

“You just can’t stop interrupting me, can you?  I think I need to call your Grams and tell her you’ve been a very naughty boy.”  Shit, shit shit.  Is she flirting with me?  The blush on her face tells me she was and she didn’t mean to.  “Anyway, this left us with six girls.  We had planned on each girl getting a month to themselves and doing group shots.  So we did six single months and six group months.”

“Dontcha want to know what month I was, Hot Stuff?”  Mickayla’s looking at me with a wicked gleam in her eyes.  I never quite know how to answer her, but I’ll give it a whirl.

“How do I answer this that keeps you happy and doesn’t get me punched by your fiancée?  It’s in my contract that I can’t mess this up,” I say, circling my face with my hand.

She and Blake both laugh.  “Good man you are, Tucker, and ignore her.  She’s trying to get you in trouble,” Blake says.  She winks at me again while Blake’s looking my way and I think he’s right.  She surely is a troublemaker.  I raise my beer at both of them and take a drink.

“Mickayla,” Adriana says raising her voice an octave, “was Miss July, not because that was the month she wanted, but because she had this kick ass sequined stars and stripes string bikini that was sure to sell calendars.  It almost turned me lesbian,” she jokes.

“You know you so wanted me.”  The two of them go back and forth for a few minutes.  It’s great watching her with Mickayla.  She knows how to bring Adriana out of her funk.  Even if it’s only for a few minutes.  I look to all of her other friends and they are watching with a look of disbelief on their faces.  Alahna is the one who gets to me, though.  Seeing her wipe tears away as Preston grips her side has me almost losing it.  How bad has it been for her?  She’s trying to pull it back together fast before Adriana turns around and sees her.  What have these friends had to do to keep her from totally breaking apart?  How have they not broken themselves?  It looks to me like they’re all hiding behind a dam of pain that’s about to break.

“Over the two weeks, Mick tried many times to talk Alahna and I into being in the calendar, but we both said no.  Alex and Preston were all for it, but, still, we said no.  One of the days we were there Stacy, the waitress whose little boy was sick, came in with her son, Jesse, because he wanted to thank us for what we were doing.  When I saw him...”  She had to stop as tears sprang to her eyes.  I was hit with a feeling of dread.  Please God, tell me this little boy didn’t die, too.  Looking over to Alahna, I can see her eyes are misting, too.  “He was so precious and only six years old.  Far too young to be sick.  He was going to be starting his treatment the next day.  I didn’t dare to ask what that meant because I didn’t know if he knew and I didn’t want to scare him.  He had gorgeous, thick, brown wavy hair that was curled over his ears and a mess everywhere else, and the biggest brown eyes I’d ever seen. And his smile.  Oh my God, his smile was like nothing I had ever seen.  It lit up the entire room.”  She stopped again as a tear slipped down her cheek.  I wanted to jump over the table and wrap her into my arms.  Ask her what happened to him.  Alahna stood up and wiped her tears away.  When Adriana smiled at her, I was ready to bust.   
Someone tell me about the boy.
 

My heart is racing and my chest hurts.  It’s hard to breathe.  Thinking about the fact that this little boy might have died.  Cancer.  
Cancer kills, sweetie.  I’m so sorry it took your mom.
Jesse she’s talking about.  Not my mom.
 Breathe, Tucker, breathe.
 

“Sorry.  I just needed a second.  It always gets me thinking about the first time I met Jesse.”  Everyone nods at her.  “Then, he surprised both of us,” she says, pointing between her and Alahna.  “He ran over and hugged us both and said thank you for helping his mommy make him better.  Nothing could have broken my heart more or made me happier than that little boy did that day.  Alahna told me she felt the same way.  We knew the calendar shoot wasn’t enough so we talked to Glen, asked him what else he was doing, and talked him into getting the media involved.  The public fell in love with Jesse.  Donations started pouring in and his care was more than covered.  It allowed Stacy to stay home the whole time with him and Glen held her job position for her.”

“Jesse is ok, then?”  I find it hard to ask the words.

“Yes, Tucker.  Jesse is doing great.  He’s very happy and about to turn nine.  Alahna and I take his picture each year so we can see how he’s growing and get our hug.”  She’s glowing with happiness talking about him.

“That’s the best part,” Alahna says.  “His hug.  It’s heals all bad things.”

“Does he have a college fund started?”  I see the confusion on all their faces.  Probably the wrong time or way to ask it, but this just became personal for me.  Cancer always is.  “One of the charities I work for provides college tuitions to kids with cancer or kids who have survived cancer.  The illness, even with insurance, can financially cripple families.  It can take years to recoup.  I was just wondering if he has a fund in place.  If not, I can get you the paperwork.  You never mentioned a dad.  I shouldn’t assume, but I did.  Shit, I’m saying this all wrong.  He just sounds like a great candidate.”

“Oh.  My.  God.  Tucker!  That would be awesome.  One of us will call Stacy in the morning and find out,” Adriana squeals and the joy on her face has me needing to adjust again.  “Thank you so much.”  I wave off her thanks wanting the attention off me.  The eyes I’m getting from Alahna has me shifting uncomfortably in my seat.  That woman sees too much.  Adriana is still bubbling over with excitement.  Deidre and Mickayla are tipping back their wine saying a cheers to me.  Damn me and my big mouth.

“How did Mickayla and Blake become a part of the neighborhood?”  Please get back to the story.  Alahna’s mouth quirks up on one side as she continues eying me.  She is so onto me.  I’m not getting away with anything on her watch.

“Oh, well, at the end of the shoot, we liked Mickayla so much that we wanted to keep in contact so we exchanged cell numbers and agreed to come back soon for her to meet the guys.  We started going to eat there every Friday night as long as we didn’t have plans.  The guys loved Mick.  Dee and Kale went with us when they could.  Dee and Mick got along great.  The four of us were destined to be friends.  Friday nights were crazy and Glen always put her in the bar area because she could handle the drunk asses better than the other waitresses.”

“Fuck yeah I could.  Put those bastards on their asses if they got out of line.”

“Yes you did.  It worked out well for Blake that she was in there because a few months after we started going there, he started coming in with his dart league buddies.  It was obvious to all of us from the second he walked in that he was smitten with Mick.”

“Boy walked into the fucking bar,” Preston snickers earning him a slap in the head from Alahna.

“I think it was the same for her,” Adriana kept talking like Preston never said anything.  “But she liked playing hard to get and made him chase her for a few months before agreeing to a date.  After that, things moved along quickly.  Mick finished school, got her license to practice, and got hired on at a counseling firm.  As much as she hates the gossip and red tape, she loves being a therapist so she has to stick it out till she can open her own office.”  Never would have pegged her as a therapist with that mouth of hers.  Hmmm.  “They moved in together after about nine months and, maybe six months later, bought a house in the neighborhood.  And, as she told you earlier, her fine ass is getting married in a few months.  So, that Tucker is how we all met,” Adriana finishes, sweeping her arms out to encompass the entire group who are smiling at her, love and so many emotions I don’t understand running across their faces.

“Holy fucking shitballs!  That was a crazy story,” I shout with a big grin on my face.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, Hot Stuff.”  I wink at Mickayla and tip my beer at her gaining a giggle from her.  What a night this is turning out to be.

The tension from earlier in the evening is gone.  Talking about Jesse and the friends meeting has put everyone back in good spirits.  Beer and wine are flowing and I’d say a couple people are a bit unsteady on their feet.  Good times.

Taking in the scene around me has me wishing Eddie was here.  Not only is he my best friend, but really he’s the only person I truly consider a friend.  Before tonight, I didn’t realize how dismal my life is.  How lonely.  I’m surrounded by people all the time.  Invited to parties.   Busy non-stop.  But, I’m not living.  Not really.  I’m not happy.  It’s all so fake.  People think I’m happy because they see me smile.  
That’s what I want the world to see.
  I’m miserable.

What I want is what these people have.  Friendships.  Family.  Connection.  
Love.  
God, I want love more than anything.  To feel love, to show someone I love her, and to have someone love me back.  I just don’t know if it’s possible for me.

I don’t know if it’s possible living the life I live.  What woman wants to live under a microscope 24/7?  Loving someone, letting them in, means I would have to ask her to.  Isn’t that how I ended up with Victoria?  If I’m being honest with myself, I think I always knew she didn’t really love me, that she was using me.  I just wanted love so bad I told myself that’s what it was.  I knew it was her the second I heard the moans, but I wasn’t surprised.  I was hurt.  Yes. It hurt.  But, I need to ask myself was I hurt deep down in my heart or was it my ego that was hurt?  These are things I need to figure out.  Get my head straight before I fuck it up with someone new.  Someone like Adriana, perhaps.

Thinking her name has my head turning in the direction of her voice, eyes seeking her out.  I find her talking to Alahna and Mickayla.  I’m not sure where Deidre went off to, but I see the guys joking about something.  Probably me being lost in la-la land.  I need to get my head straight and fast, preferably without Alahna noticing I checked out for a while.  Her prying eyes freak me out.