Waking Up (2 page)

Chapter Two

Tucker  

I’m exhausted.  I’ve been driving aimlessly for days and really need to decide what the hell I’m going to do.  The show is on hiatus for a few more weeks.  Going back there is going to suck.  Everyone knows what happened.  They know what she did to me.  They know how she humiliated and broke me.  I’m so done with women.  I loved Victoria and never saw it coming.  What did I do to make her do that to me?  Didn’t I love her enough?

You know what, Tucker?  Get off the damn pity party, man.  You’re a man, not a chick.  Stop feeling bad for yourself.  Go fuck a couple ladies and you’ll feel better.  No, serious shit.  Get in, get it done, and get out.  Just get Victoria out of your system.  That’s what Pops would tell you to do if he were still around.  He always said not to let a woman tie you down because they’re nothing but trouble.  You should have listened.  Now, you’re the laughing-stock of the show.  Fuck that.  You’re Tucker fucking Stavros for damned sake.  If Mikos, a.k.a Pops, could see you now, he’d shove his foot up your ass for whining like a little bitch over some whore.
And, that’s exactly what Victoria had turned out to be.

I can’t believe how wrong I was about her.  I gave her the last twenty-two months of my life.  Never again.  Never again will I be so stupid.  Pops was right.  Women are nothing but trouble.  I learned my lesson.  May have learned it the hard way, but I learned it.  Seems that’s how I’ve always been, hard headed.  Poor Grams.  She’s had her hands full with me since I was eight when Mikos decided that fatherhood just wasn’t his thing.  Apparently, it wasn’t just women he wouldn’t let tie him down.

Grams says his heart was too broken after mom died, but I always wondered if he ever had a heart to break.  If he did, he never showed it to me.  Guess it’s time I learn to be just like my old man.  It got him through life just fine.

“Where the hell am I?”  I left Vancouver five days ago and headed into the U.S. because I needed to get away.  I don’t care where I end up.  Not sure where I’m heading.  I make a habit of pulling over at night at rest areas and sleeping in my truck or seedy motels if I can find one. I’ve gone through so many drive-thru’s, I’m sure I’ll be shitting grease for a month.  I’m getting tired of the processed gut rot from these places, but I need the anonymity they bring me.  I’m constantly hunted down by the paparazzi and when the news breaks of Victoria and my split, they are going to start chasing me like a pack of hounds.

I took two seconds to let my agent know I was going to be unavailable until it was time for the show to start taping again.  I was smart enough to tell him about the break up and what went down so the mastermind would have time to put whatever spin he wanted on it.  Man, I hate this business. It’s slowly eating away at my soul, but I have a contract for two more seasons of Facing Extinction.  That means two more years of facing Victoria unless I can talk them into killing that bitch off.

Just thinking that brings a smile to my face.  No one on the show likes her.  She only got the part because she was dating me and looked the part that they needed filled.  Maybe there could be a new story line written where she gets written out due to “creative differences”.  Again, I can’t help but smile at the here my thoughts are going.  I’d have to talk to my agent and see if they could put some pressure on the writers and producers.  Probably a shitty thing to do over a break up, but I’m pissed and feel like getting some pay back.  Maybe it’s time to call Grams. She’s always a voice of reason. Yeah, definitely time to call Grams before I do something stupid and make myself look like an ass. My calls to Grams are the light in my day, so sometimes, I call a couple times.  I can’t let her worry about me and I miss her. Calling her takes care of both our needs.  

Picking my cell out of the cup holder, I dial a familiar number and wait for Grams’ sweet voice.  Knowing I’ll be talking to her has me relaxing.  It’s always that way with Grams.  She’s my rock.

“Hello, Sweetie.” I smile as Grams greets me in the way she has since I was a little boy.

“Hey, Grams.  Just wanted to check in and let you know I’m still okay.  I want you to tell me not to do something, too.”

“Oh, my dear boy, what are you thinking of doing this time and to whom?”  I can hear the sigh that she’s trying to cover.  I hadn’t been the easiest boy to raise.  I was hotheaded and got into a lot of fights.  I tended to use my fists instead of my brain.  It wasn’t often I thought before doing things and ended up starting to act as punishment in 8
^th
grade.  The principal said I needed involvement and Grams agreed.  I was supposed to be working on the sets, but an accident forced me into the spotlight.  Grams thought I was a natural.  The drama teacher agreed after seeing me on the stage.  The next year I auditioned, and each year after that I was the lead.  That didn’t stop me from using my fists, but acting was an outlet.

“I was thinking of trying to get Vic forced off the show.  I’m the star of the show, and more importantly, I have a two year iron clad contract. But, I know her contract states they can write her out in that two years.  I remember her being piss– mad, I mean.  Sorry, Grams.  She humiliated me, Grams, and I don’t know if I can handle seeing her at work every day over the next two seasons.”  Sighing, I continue, “She’s my love interest on the show.  The thought of touching her makes my skin crawl.  I know I’m supposed to be professional and I’m an actor, but you know what she did.  Tell me what to do, Grams.”

“I didn’t realize you cared about her that much, Tucker.  I guess I never saw her as your one.  I didn’t see that spark when you two looked at each other.  Plus, she always looked at me with annoyance and I knew you would never stay with someone who couldn’t love me like you do.  That being said, I think it would be wrong if you try to get her fired.  Two wrongs never make a right.  Keep the faith, sweetie.  Things have a way of working out.”

“Thanks, Grams.  I never knew you felt that way about Vic.  I knew she didn’t like leaving the city, but I never realized she was treating you that way.  I wish you had told me.  I would have talked to her about it.  You’re my world, Grams.  I would never let anyone disrespect you or treat you poorly,” I say, complete sincerity and love in my voice.

“I know that, sweetie.  And, I knew you would talk to her.  I felt that she would lie and dig herself further into your life.  I never trusted her with your heart.  Honestly, I’m glad she’s no longer in your life.  So, where are you in your travels?  Anywhere interesting?” Grams asks, and I know she’s truly curious.

“Ah, hold on one second, there’s a sign coming up.  It says Portsmouth or Concord, New Hampshire.  Wow, when did I cross over into New Hampshire?  I really have been out of it.  I haven’t even been noticing what state I’m in.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to New Hampshire.  I hear it’s a beautiful state.  Why don’t you try to see a little bit of it? Enjoy yourself, sweetie.”

“Okay, Grams.  I’ll get off in a few exits and find a place to stay for the night. Tomorrow morning I’ll head out for an adventure.  Does that sound good to you?”

“Sounds perfect.  I love you, Tucker.  Have a good night, sweetie, and try to eat something other than drive-thru.  Too much of that stuff will give you the poops.”

I can’t stop myself from bursting into laughter.  “Oh, Grams.  I love you, too.  I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know what mischief I’ve gotten into.  Night, Grams.”  I disconnect the call and put my cell back in the cup holder.  I have a smile on my face and instantly feel a little relief from the stress I’d been dealing with.  Grams always does that for me.

  I drive a little further and see a sign for Epping.  “What the hell kind of name is that?  Sounds small enough to get lost in and just the place for me to hide tonight,” I say to myself, the sound of my voice echoing back to me in the cab of the truck.  It gives the illusion of having a conversation with someone else.

  Driving down the exit, I see there is a Wal-Mart on one side and what appears to be a shopping center on the other.  I head toward Wally World.  It looks less congested.  A little ways down I see exactly what I’m looking for.  “Bingo.  These small towns always have small motels with vacancy signs.  Just what I’m looking for.”  I pull in, park in an empty spot in front of the office, and take a deep breath, praying whoever is in the office won’t recognize me.  This is why I don’t stay in motel rooms a lot and normally sleep in my truck, but I really want a hot shower.  I sigh again and get out of the truck.  Walking through the office door, I see an old woman reading what appears to be a romance novel.

“How are you, young man?  Need a room?”

“Yes, ma’am.  Do you take cash or do you need a credit card?”  I ask.  All motels are different.  So far, she hasn’t acted like she knows who I am.

“You can pay in cash, but we do need to have a card on file in case there is damage.  How many nights are you looking to stay?”

“Two.”  I probably wouldn’t stay both nights, but figured I’d pay for the room just in case.  I fill out the room form, listen to the old woman tell me about check out times and rules, pay her, grab the key, and head to my room.

Locking the door behind me, I do what I always do when I go to a motel, I set up my bathroom stuff first and then unpack my clothes.  I’m not sure why I have this routine, but I’ve done things this way for as long as I can remember.  It puts me at ease in unfamiliar places.

My growling stomach informs me that it’s dinner time just as I’m finishing unpacking.  On my way into the motel I saw there was an outside ice cream diner next door that I could walk to, so I put on a baseball cap and sunglasses and head over.  I only hope it’s enough to keep anyone from looking at me too closely.  Stepping out into the beautiful, late June air, I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve stopped to just breathe.  There’s no smog here.  It isn’t loud even though this looks to be a busy road for this area.  It’s quite peaceful considering some of the areas I’ve lived.  

As I walk up to the ordering window, I can’t help but notice a couple of women sitting together admiring my backside.  It isn’t that I’m being cocky, but I’m used to that.  It seems that everywhere I go, women ogle me. I learned a long time ago to get used to it and ignore it.  It used to embarrass me, but now I know to take it as the compliment it’s intended to be.  Grams had to tell me hundreds of times, it’s only a curse being attractive if you’re a cruel person about it.  I hadn’t truly understood that until Victoria Masterson ripped my heart out and stepped on it with her size 7 stilettos.  
Ouch!
 

Grams told me over and over I was beautiful on the inside and out and that’s why I was embarrassed about the attention.  I still don’t know that I believe her about that, but I know she believes that about me and I hope she always will.  It’s important to me that Grams never thinks poorly of me, even when I was an unruly teenager.  I felt terrible whenever I acted out.  Now, as an adult, whenever the paparazzi prints a false story making me look bad, I call Grams right away to tell her it’s not true. She always says the same thing, “Sweetie.  Never forget that I know the real you.  They can tell a million stories about you, but they’ll never be able to capture who you really are.”  I smile as I wait my turn in line thinking of Grams and hoping the women don’t think it’s an invitation for them to talk to me.

After ordering a chili cheese dog, onion rings, a garden salad (so I feel like I’m eating healthy), and three bottled waters, I head back to my room.  Being around all these people is making me feel too exposed.  The point of leaving Vancouver was to be alone and get my head right.

I’m pretty sure Victoria is feeling victorious right now that she drove me out of town instead of feeling remorseful.  I shouldn’t have left the way I did, but finding out in front of the entire cast of the show was too much.  I just needed some time away… mainly to keep from doing something stupid.  The one smart thing I did before leaving was telling her to get out of my house before I got back.  She’s definitely smart enough to know I wasn’t joking.  I’ll probably get home to no furniture, but I honestly don’t want anything that has her taint on it anyways.  If she left anything, I’ll be having a big ass bonfire when I get back.

I jump when
Wanted Dead or Alive
starts blaring through the room.  “Hey, Eddie.  What’s up, man?”

“Checking in on you after what Bitchtoria did.  Are you ok, dude?  You took off five days ago and no one has heard from you since.  What the fuck, Tucker?” Eddie sounds pissed.

“I’m doing alright, Eddie.  I’ve been calling Grams and I called my douchebag agent.  I told him to let everyone know I was unavailable until the show starts taping again.  Sorry I didn’t call you.  I just needed to get out of there before I did something really stupid and ended up arrested.  Is everyone freaking out?” I’m curious what people are saying even though I don’t want to be.

“Honestly, Tuck, people are pissed off at her and want her off the show.  They feel bad that you got her this gig and she fucked you over.  You’ve never seen yourself this way, but you’re a really good guy.  We already had a few other story lines written hoping you would see her for the bitch she truly is and kick her ass out a long time ago.  I’m meeting with the other writers as well as the directors and producers tomorrow to decide which way we want to go for this season.  Hopefully, it will be a storyline that gets her gone.”

“Are you serious, Eddie?  You didn’t have to do that.”  I run my fingers through my hair feeling a little relief for the first time in days.  “But, to be honest, I called Grams to talk me out of putting pressure on the show to get her written out.  Grams told me to keep the faith.  I really appreciate this, man.”  I try throwing as much appreciation into my voice as possible.  Eddie is a damn good guy and my best friend.  When he wrote this show, he had written the main character with me in mind.