Wanted by Her Lost Love (14 page)

She reached for him, framing his face, stunned to feel the shock of tears on his cheeks. His eyes were tormented and there was desperation—fear—in his gaze, but there was also answering hope.

“I love you so very much,” she said brokenly. “I've spent so long being angry, telling myself I hate you. The anger took over until I was miserable with it. It's been a constant weight pressing down on me. It's poison and I can't live this way anymore. I don't
want
to live this way anymore.”

He closed his eyes and when he reopened them there was such relief and such vulnerability that she knew without a doubt that she'd made the right choice.

“If you can forgive all the hurtful, hateful things I've said to you then I can forgive you for not trusting me.”

“Oh, God, Kell,” he said in a wretched, pained voice. “I deserved everything you've said and more. What I did to you was unforgivable. How can you forgive me when I can't forgive myself?”

She leaned forward and kissed him, still holding his face in her hands. She stroked her hands through his hair and then over his cheeks again, smiling a tender smile all the while.

“We make quite a pair, don't we? We've made mistakes. But I like to think that we haven't given up. And that maybe we're stronger for it all. It makes me hurt that you've given up so much for me. Your family. Your friends. The city you grew up in. And you gave it up, bought a beautiful house you knew I'd love all because you loved
me.
If I don't forgive you then I'm denying myself that love and I don't want to live without you, Ryan. Or your love. Not anymore. The last months have been the worst of my life. I don't ever want to relive that kind of agony again.”

He pulled her into his arms, leaning forward so they didn't tumble into the sand. He held her so tightly she couldn't breathe, but she didn't care. They were together. Finally. Without all the hurt and pain of the past. Without reservations or barriers.

As soon as she'd told him she loved him and that she forgave him it was like the weight of the world had been lifted. She felt lighter and freer than she'd ever felt. She felt…happy. Joyously, giddily happy.

“I love you so damn much, Kell,” he said hoarsely. “I've always loved you. I never stopped loving you. I went to bed at night thinking about you, worrying and wondering where you were, if you were happy, if you were all right. I made all sorts of excuses for hiring someone to find you but the truth was that I couldn't live without you.”

She smiled and leaned her forehead against his. “Do you think maybe we can stop beating ourselves up over things we can't change and make a pact to love each other for the rest of our lives and be happy for every day of them?”

He slid his hands over her arms, up to her neck to cup her face again. “Yeah,” he breathed. “I can do that.”

He pulled away, smiling, his eyes raw with emotion. “Marry me, Kell. Right away. I don't want to wait even a day. Marry me here on our beach. Just you and me and our baby.”

“Our beach,” she said softly. “I love the sound of that. And yes, I'll marry you. Today, tomorrow, forever.”

For the longest time they sat there on the steps leading to their beach. A beach where they'd raise their children. Where they'd laugh and love and remember how they'd pledged their love and made vows to stay together through all the trials that life threw at them.

They sat until the sun sank below the horizon and the soft colors of dusk settled over the ocean. And then when the moon rose and spilled silver over the water, Ryan carried Kelly down to the beach and they danced to the soft melody of the rolling waves.