Wayside School Is Falling Down (6 page)

“No, I think it’s called Mushroom Surprise because after you eat it, it’s a surprise if you don’t die,” said Mac.

“Louis eats it. He’s not dead,” said Jason.

“Louis has been eating Miss Mush’s food for so long, he’s immune to it,” said Allison.

Ron dug his plastic fork into the goop. He raised it to his mouth.

Dana covered her eyes. “I can’t watch!” she exclaimed.

Ron opened his mouth wide. The fork entered. He brought the fork out again.

It was empty!

Ron chewed twice, then swallowed.

“He ate it!” Deedee announced for those who couldn’t see.

Stephen screamed.

“Hmm,” said Ron. “Not too bad. It sort of tastes like a mixture of bananas and spinach.”

“What’s the surprise?” asked Deedee.

Ron looked at Deedee. His face flushed and his eyes changed color. His whole body began to shake, like a washing machine on the spin cycle.

Deedee was afraid he was going to throw up. She tried to get away, but with everyone crowded around, there was no room for her to move.

But Ron didn’t throw up. He stood up, put his arms around Deedee’s neck, and kissed her smack on the lips.

He sat back down. His eyes returned to their normal color.

“Ylah!” said Deedee, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

“What’s the matter?” asked Ron.

“Don’t you know what you just did?” asked Allison.

He shrugged. “I ate some Mushroom Surprise. It wasn’t bad. Sort of like a mixture of a hot dog and grape jelly. I wonder what the surprise is.”

He dug his plastic fork back into the goop.

Everybody ran away.

When Mrs. Jewls entered the cafeteria, no one was there except for Ron. He was sitting alone at a table eating Mushroom Surprise.

Mrs. Jewls sat down next to him. “Hi, Ron,” she said. “So how does it taste? And what’s the surprise?”

Ron swallowed another mouthful. He looked at his teacher. His face flushed and his eyes changed color … .

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Chapter 10

Music

Benjamin still hadn’t told anybody he wasn’t Mark Miller.

His grades had never been better. Mark Miller is a lot smarter than Benjamin Nushmutt, he thought.

When they chose up teams for kickball, he was always the first one picked. Mark Miller is a better kicker than Benjamin Nushmutt, he realized.

The girls in the class liked him too. Mark Miller is better looking than Benjamin Nushmutt, he decided.

But unfortunately, he knew he had to tell Mrs. Jewls his real name. He sighed, then slowly raised his hand.

Mrs. Jewls gave him a tambourine.

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He had been so busy thinking about his problem, he hadn’t noticed that Mrs. Jewls was passing out musical instruments. She had just asked, “Who would like the tambourine?” So when he raised his hand, she gave it to him.

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“Who would like the triangle?” asked Mrs. Jewls. Joe raised his hand, and Mrs. Jewls gave it to him.

“Why is it called a triangle?” asked Joe.

“I don’t know,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“Maybe because it’s shaped like a triangle,” suggested John.

“No, that can’t be it,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Then the tambourine would have to be called a circle.”

“Maybe it was invented by a person named Joe Triangle,” said Rondi.

“That’s probably it,” said Mrs. Jewls. She held up the next instrument. It was a glockenspiel. “Who would like the glockenspiel?” she asked.

Sharie raised her hand.

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Nobody asked why it was called a glockenspiel. It was obvious.

Mrs. Jewls gave the bells to Stephen.

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“Why are they called bells?” he asked.

Nobody knew.

Joy got the bongo drums. Todd got the bass drum. Jenny snared the snare drum. And Leslie got the kettledrum.

When they banged on them, it hurt everybody else’s eardrums.

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Mrs. Jewls gave one cymbal to Calvin and the other cymbal to Bebe.

D.J. got the gong. The three Erics got kazoos.

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Mrs. Jewls shouted,
“Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!”

The children all played their instruments. They shook, rattled, rocked, and rolled.

Joy bonged her bongos. D.J. gonged his gong. Sharie glockened her glockenspiel. Stephen jingled his bells. Calvin and Bebe slapped their cymbals together. And Joe’s triangle went
ting
.

But something didn’t sound right.

“What’s wrong, Mark?” Mrs. Jewls shouted over the music. “Why aren’t you playing the tambourine?”

“My name’s not Mark,” said Benjamin. “It’s Benjamin Nushmutt. I’m sorry for not telling you before.”

“What?” asked Mrs. Jewls. “I can’t hear you.”

“My name isn’t Mark!” he said. “It’s Benjamin.”

“Louder!” said Mrs. Jewls.

So everyone played louder.

Todd bashed his bass drum. Leslie cooked on her kettledrum. Calvin and Bebe crashed their cymbals together. And Joe’s triangle went
ting
.

“My name is Benjamin!” shouted Benjamin.

Mrs. Jewls put her hand to her ear. “Louder!” she said.

So everyone played louder.

D.J. kabonged his gong. Joy chongoed her bongos. Paul splacked his castanets. Jenny spaghettied her snare drum. Calvin and Bebe wammered their cymbals. And Joe’s triangle went
ting
.

“My name’s Benjamin Nushmutt,” hollered Benjamin Nushmutt.

“Louder!” yelled Mrs. Jewls.

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So everyone played louder.

The there Erics screamed into their kazoos. Calvin and Bebe ran to opposite sides of the room with their cymbals, then charged toward each other.

Suddenly the door flew open, and a man entered. Benjamin had never seen him before.

The whole class became very quiet.

It was Mr. Kidswatter, the principal.

Calvin and Bebe screeched to a halt just in time. Their cymbals were less than an inch apart.

“Is something the matter, Mr. Kidswatter?” asked Mrs. Jewls.

“Several teachers have complained about your music,” said Mr. Kidswatter. “Their students are having trouble hearing.”

“I understand,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“Good,” said Mr. Kidswatter. He walked out of the room.

“Okay, you heard Mr. Kidswatter,” said Mrs. Jewls. “We’ll have to play louder so everyone can hear.
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!
”

They shook, rattled, rocked, and rolled.

Benjamin frampled his tambourine.

“Excellent, Mark!” shouted Mrs. Jewls.

He smiled. He had never played so well before. Mark Miller is a better musician than Benjamin Nushmutt, he thought.