Wayside School Is Falling Down (2 page)

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Chapter 2

Mark Miller

Mrs. Jewls rang her cowbell. “I would like you to meet Mark Miller,” she said. “He and his family just moved here all the way from Magadonia!”

Everybody stared at the new kid.

He stood at the front of the room. His knees were shaking.

He hated having to stand in front of the class. It was as if Mrs. Jewls had brought him in for show-and-tell. He felt like some kind of weirdo. He just wanted to sit at a desk and be like everybody else.

But worst of all, his name wasn’t Mark Miller.

He was Benjamin Nushmutt. And he had moved from Hempleton, not Magadonia.

But he was too scared to mention that to Mrs. Jewls. He was afraid to correct a teacher.

“Why don’t you tell the class a little bit about yourself, Mark?” suggested Mrs. Jewls.

Benjamin didn’t know what to say. He wished he really was Mark Miller. Mark Miller wouldn’t be scared, he thought. He’d probably have lots to say. Everyone would like him. Nobody would think Mark Miller was weird.

“Well, I guess we’d better find you a place to sit,” said Mrs. Jewls.

She put him at the empty desk between Todd and Bebe.

“Hi, Mark,” said Todd. “I’m Todd. You’ll like Mrs. Jewls. She’s the nicest teacher in the school.”

“Todd, no talking,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Go write your name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.”

“Hi, Mark,” said Bebe. “I’m Bebe Gunn.”

“Hi,” Benjamin said quietly.

He decided he’d have to tell Mrs. Jewls his real name at recess. He cringed. He didn’t know why, but for some reason he had trouble saying his own name.

“And what’s your name, little boy?” an adult would ask him.

“Benjamin Nushmutt,” he’d answer.

“What?”

“BENjamin NUSHmutt.”

“What?”

“Ben-Ja-Min Nush-Mutt.”

“What?”

“BenjaMIN NushMUTT!”

“What?”

“Benjamin Nushmutt.”

“Oh, nice to meet you, Benjamin.”

He never knew what it was that made the person suddenly understand.

When the bell rang for recess, everyone charged out of the room. Benjamin slowly walked to Mrs. Jewls’s desk. Somehow, he had to tell her.

Mrs. Jewls was sorting papers. “Oh, hello, Mark,” she said. “How are you enjoying the class so far?”

“Fine,” said Benjamin.

“Good, I’m glad to hear that,” said Mrs. Jewls.

Benjamin shrugged, then walked out of the room. If I had told her my name, she would have thought I was weird for not telling her sooner, he realized.

He stood at the top of the stairs and looked down. Recess was only ten minutes long. It didn’t seem worth it to go all the way down and then come all the way back up. He didn’t have any friends down there anyway.

He had never been more unhappy in his whole life.

He sat on the top step. “Mark Miller,” he said out loud. It was an easy name to say. Mark Miller probably would have made lots of friends by now, he thought.

Suddenly he heard a low rumble. Then the stairs began to shake. It felt like an earthquake! This whole stupid school is going to fall over, he thought. He put his head between his knees.

The rumbling got worse. I’m going to die and nobody will even know who I am, he worried. The new kid. Mark Miller. The weirdo!

But it wasn’t an earthquake. It was just all the kids running back up the stairs.

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“Hey, Mark, why are you sitting that way?” asked Deedee.

“You look funny,” said Ron.

Benjamin looked up.

“How come you weren’t at recess?” asked Jason. “We looked everywhere for you.”

“Couldn’t you find the playground?” asked Calvin.

“It’s just straight down,” said Bebe. “You can’t miss it.”

“But don’t go in the basement,” warned Sharie. “Whatever you do, don’t go in the basement.”

“We’ll go down together at lunch,” said Todd. “That way you won’t get lost.”

Benjamin smiled. He was glad everyone seemed to like him. Or at least they liked Mark Miller. He wondered if they’d like Benjamin Nushmutt too.

“The bell has rung!” said Mrs. Jewls, standing in the doorway. “Now, everyone get inside.” She made Todd put a check next to his name on the board for being late.

Mrs. Jewls handed a stack of work sheets to Dameon and asked him to pass them out to the rest of the class.

Benjamin looked at his work sheet. At the top right corner there was a place to put his name. He didn’t know which name to put there, Mark Miller or Benjamin Nushmutt.

He left it blank and started working on the first problem.

Louis, the yard teacher, entered the room carrying a white paper sack. “Benjamin forgot his lunch,” he said. “His mother just brought it.”

“Who?” asked Mrs. Jewls.

“Benjamin,” said Louis.

“There’s no Benjamin in my class,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“Are you sure?” asked Louis. “It looks like a good lunch.”

“I know the names of the children in my class!” Mrs. Jewls said indignantly.

“Well, I’ll just leave it here until I figure this out,” said Louis. He left the lunch on Mrs. Jewls’s desk and walked out of the room.

Benjamin frowned. He looked at the white paper sack on Mrs. Jewls’s desk. He couldn’t tell Mrs. Jewls his real name now. She’d think he was making it up just to get a free lunch.

He wrote
Mark Miller
at the top of his work sheet.

But one of these days, he knew, he’d have to tell her his real name.

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Chapter 3

Bebe’s Baby Brother

Mrs. Jewls asked Dameon to pass back the homework.

Bebe Gunn waited nervously. Except for art, her grades had not been very good lately. If she didn’t start bringing home better grades, her parents said they wouldn’t let her stay up past midnight. She did her best artwork after midnight.

Dameon handed Calvin his homework, then Todd, then Joy.

“Where’s yours?” asked Calvin.

“I don’t know,” said Bebe.

“Did you do it?” asked Calvin.

“Yes, I did it,” said Bebe. “I worked extra hard on it! I hope Mrs. Jewls didn’t lose it.”

Dameon finished passing out the homework. Bebe never got hers.

“Bebe, will you come here, please,” said Mrs. Jewls.

She pushed out of her seat, stood up, and nervously walked to Mrs. Jewls’s desk. “I did my homework, Mrs. Jewls,” she said. “Really!”

“Yes, I know,” said Mrs. Jewls. She held Bebe’s homework in her hand.

“Whew!” Bebe sighed with relief. “I was afraid you lost it!”

“No, I didn’t lose it,” Mrs. Jewls said sternly. She showed the back of the paper to Bebe. Someone had written:

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MRS. JEWLS IS AS FAT AS A HIPPOPOTAMUS!

(AND SHE SMELLS LIKE ONE, TOO.)

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“I didn’t write that!” exclaimed Bebe. “I love the way you smell.”

Mrs. Jewls smiled. “But if you didn’t write it, who did?”

“Ray!” Bebe instantly replied.

“Who’s Ray?”

“He’s my little brother. Ray Gunn. He must have snuck into my room after I was asleep. He’s always playing mean tricks on me. He knew how hard I worked on my homework.”

“Well, we’ll show Ray,” said Mrs. Jewls. She gave Bebe an A+. “There. I don’t think he’ll try that again.”

“Thanks!” said Bebe.

“You may have a Tootsie Roll Pop, too,” said Mrs. Jewls.

Bebe took a Tootsie Roll Pop out of the coffee can on Mrs. Jewls’s desk, then returned to her seat. She proudly showed Calvin her A+.

The next day Mrs. Jewls asked Dameon to hand back another batch of homework.

“How come Dameon always gets to do everything?” griped Kathy.

“I’m sorry, Kathy,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Would you like to pass back the homework?”

“No!” grumped Kathy. “I’m not your slave.”

Dameon passed out the homework. Again Bebe didn’t get hers.

Mrs. Jewls called her to her desk. On the back of her homework someone had written:

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MRS. JEWLS HAS A HEAD FULL OF OATMEAL!

(AND IT LEAKS OUT HER EARS.)

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“I didn’t write it,” said Bebe.

“Ray?” asked Mrs. Jewls.

Bebe nodded.

“Why don’t you start checking the back of your homework?” suggested Mrs. Jewls.

“I did when I woke up!” said Bebe. “He must have done it after breakfast, while I was brushing my teeth. We had oatmeal for breakfast.” She shook her head. “I won’t brush my teeth anymore!”

“You have to brush your teeth,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“My parents think he’s such a little angel!” Bebe complained. “He’s always wrecking things, and then I’m always the one who gets in trouble. ‘Why can’t you be more like Ray?’ they say. Yesterday he threw all my underwear out the window. Then my mother yelled at me for it. She wouldn’t believe that her little darling son would do something like that!”

Mrs. Jewls gave Bebe another A+ and another Tootsie Roll Pop.

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For Friday everyone had to write a report and read it to the class. Bebe wrote her report about George Washington. She stood at the front of the room and read it out loud.

“… George Washington never told a lie. Not like Mrs. Jewls. She lies all the time. That’s why her nose is so big. And she snores when she sleeps, so Mister Jewls has to wear ear plugs.”

Everyone was laughing.

Bebe stopped reading. “What’s so funny?” she asked.

“Come here,” said Mrs. Jewls.

Bebe shrugged, then walked to Mrs. Jewls’s desk.

Mrs. Jewls showed her what she had just read.

“Did I just read that out loud?” Bebe asked.

Mrs. Jewls nodded.

“I was just reading it,” Bebe explained. “I wasn’t listening.”

“It was Ray again, wasn’t it?” asked Mrs. Jewls.

“Had to be,” said Bebe. “Yesterday he put toothpaste in my socks. Then my mother got mad at me for making a mess and wasting toothpaste.”

Bebe got an A+ on her report and another Tootsie Roll Pop.

After school Mrs. Jewls called Bebe’s mother on the phone. “Hello, Mrs. Gunn. This is Mrs. Jewls from Wayside School.”

“What’s Bebe done now?” asked Mrs. Gunn.

“Bebe hasn’t done anything wrong,” said Mrs. Jewls. “She’s a wonderful girl.”

“Well, that’s a surprise!” said Mrs. Gunn. “She’s always causing trouble at home.”

“I wanted to talk to you about that,” said Mrs. Jewls. “I think you’re being unfair to Bebe. I think she often gets into trouble when really Ray is to blame.”

“Ray?” asked Mrs. Gunn.

“Yes. I know you think he’s a perfect angel,” said Mrs. Jewls, “but some children can be angels on the outside and devils underneath.”

“Yes, that sounds like Bebe,” said Mrs. Gunn.

“I’m not talking about Bebe. I’m talking about Ray.”

“Ray?” asked Bebe’s mother. “Who’s Ray?”

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