Wayside School Is Falling Down (7 page)

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Chapter 11

Kathy and D.J.

Down on the playground Kathy was singing her favorite song.

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“Wayside School is falling down,

falling down, falling down.

Wayside School is falling down,

my fair lady.

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“Kids go splat as they hit the ground,

hit the ground, hit the ground.

Kids go splat as they hit the ground,

my fair lady.”

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D.J. was walking across the playground with his head down.

“Hi, Dr. Jolly,” said Louis. Louis called D.J. “Doctor Jolly” because he was always smiling.

But now D.J.’s smile was upside down. He looked up at Louis.

Louis had never seen such a sad face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

D.J. just shook his head, then looked back down at the ground and sadly walked away.

Louis felt like crying.

“Hey, Louis, what’s wrong with D.J.?” asked Ron.

“He’s so sad!” said Deedee.

“I don’t know,” said Louis, shaking his head. “Hey, you guys want to play kickball?”

“No thanks,” said Deedee. “I can’t have fun when D.J. is unhappy.”

“Me neither,” said Ron.

Across the playground, all the children quit their games when they saw D.J. Nobody could have fun when D.J. looked so sad.

Except Kathy! She sang:

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“Broken bones and blood and gore,

blood and gore, blood and gore.

Broken bones and blood and gore,

my fair lady.

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“We don’t have no school no more,

school no more, school no more.

We don’t have no school no more,

my fair lady.”

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The bell rang. D.J. sadly looked up at the school and sighed.

“Hey, Deej, snap out of it,” said Myron. D.J. stared through his friend.

“You want to walk up the stairs with us, Dojo?” asked Dameon.

D.J. shook his head. “I need to be alone,” he mumbled.

Dameon and Myron looked at each other, then started up the stairs, leaving their sad friend behind.

D.J. headed on up, but stopped halfway between the ninth and tenth floors and sat down. He lowered his face into his hands and cried.

A moment later someone burst out laughing.

D.J. opened his eyes and saw Kathy standing over him.

“You shouldn’t sit on the stairs, Dumb Jerk!” said Kathy with glee. “I almost kicked you in the head.”

Kathy always called D.J. “Dumb Jerk.”

She didn’t like D.J. because he was always smiling. Now she was glad to see him so sad.

“Hi, Kathy,” said D.J.

She plopped down on the stair next to him. “What happened?” she asked. “Did your dog die?” She laughed.

D.J. shook his head.

“Are your parents getting divorced?” she asked hopefully. “Did your house burn down?”

“No,” said D.J. “My great-grandfather gave me a gold watch. It was over a hundred years old. I brought it to school today and—”

“You lost it!” Kathy exclaimed with delight.

D.J. sadly nodded.

Kathy laughed. “Oh boy, are you going to get in trouble!” She rubbed her hands together. “Your parents will ground you forever!”

“No, my parents never punish me,” said D.J. “They know I learn from my mistakes.”

“Oh,” said Kathy, a little disappointed. “But your great-grandfather will
hate
you!” she said. “And he’ll never give you another present for the rest of your life. Not even for your birthday!”

“No, he loves me no matter what I do,” said D.J. “He likes people, not
things
.”

Again Kathy was disappointed. “But the watch was worth a lot of money,” she tried. “And
you’ll
have to pay for it out of
your
allowance.” She laughed triumphantly, sure she had gotten him this time.

“I don’t get an allowance,” said D.J. “I don’t like money.”

Kathy frowned. Still, she knew there had to be some reason why he was sad about losing the watch. “You’ll never know what time it is!” she squawked.

“So?” asked D.J. “Time isn’t real.”

Kathy didn’t know what D.J. meant by that, but she didn’t care. “Well, if you don’t know what time it is,” she told him, “you’ll miss all your favorite television shows.”

“I don’t have a favorite television show,” said D.J. “I never watch television.” He thought a moment. “I’m not sure if we have a TV in our house or not. Maybe there’s one in a closet somewhere.”

Kathy glared at him. “Well, then how come you’re so sad you lost that dumb watch?” she demanded.

“I’m afraid a bird might think it’s food and choke on it,” said D.J.

“Is that all?” shrieked Kathy.

D.J. smiled. “I guess you’re right,” he said. “A bird probably wouldn’t choke. In fact, maybe he could use it to make a nest. I hope so, don’t you?” He hopped to his feet. “Thanks for talking to me, Kathy. I feel a lot better now. You’re a good friend.”

He hurried up to Mrs. Jewls’s room, taking the stairs two and three at a time.

As D.J.’s smile turned up, Kathy’s smile turned down. She followed up after him, grumbling to herself. “He doesn’t like money. He doesn’t worry about time. He never watches television. Why is he always so happy?”

Everyone in Mrs. Jewls’s class cheered when they saw D.J. enter the room smiling.

Kathy walked in behind him frowning.

Mrs. Jewls was getting ready to show a movie. She gave D.J. a piece of black construction paper.

“Hey, look!” exclaimed Myron. “Oddly found a watch!”

Oddly, the bird, dropped the watch on the windowsill.

Kathy couldn’t believe it! “It’s D.J.’s,” she griped.

Myron gave the watch to D.J.

“Here, you can have it, Kathy,” said D.J. with a big smile. “It’s worth a lot of money, and this way you won’t miss any of your favorite television shows.”

Kathy took the watch from him and put it around her wrist. “It’ll probably make my skin turn green,” she groused.

Mrs. Jewls started the movie projector. Stephen turned off the lights. Dameon pulled down the shades. D.J. held the piece of black construction paper under his nose, because his smile was so bright.

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Chapter 12

Pencils

Jason borrowed a pencil from Allison. When he gave it back to her, it was full of teeth marks.

Allison held the pencil by its point. “Yuck!” she said. “You chewed on it.”

Jason felt awful. It is very embarrassing to borrow somebody’s pencil and then chew on it. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“You can keep it,” said Allison. She dropped the pencil on Jason’s desk, then raised her hand. “Mrs. Jewls, can I go to the bathroom? I have to wash my hands. Jason slobbered all over my pencil.”

Everybody laughed.

Jason turned red. “I’m sorry, Allison,” he said. “I know it’s a disgusting habit. I just can’t help it.”

“Don’t let Jason touch any of my books,” said Allison as she headed out of the room. “He might eat them!”

Everybody laughed again.

“Here, you can eat my book, Jason,” said Todd. “I don’t like it anyway.”

Mrs. Jewls made Todd write his name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.

Jason was so mad at himself, he broke the chewed-up pencil to bits.

That wasn’t a smart thing to do.

“Everybody take out a pencil and a piece of paper,” said Mrs. Jewls. “It’s time for our spelling test.”

Jason slapped himself on the forehead. I’m so stupid! he thought. “Rondi, may I borrow a pencil, please?” he asked.

Rondi made a face. “All my pencils are new,” she said. “How do I know you won’t eat it?”

“I won’t,” said Jason. “I promise.”

“You better not,” said Rondi. She gave him one of her pencils.

It was new and freshly sharpened. Jason liked the way it smelled.

“The first word is ‘orchestra,’” said Mrs. Jewls.

Jason tried to remember how to spell
orchestra
. He stuck the back of the pencil in his mouth.

“Second word, ‘garbanzo.’”

Jason chewed on the eraser.

When the spelling test was over, Rondi’s pencil was worse than Allison’s.

Jason looked at it in horror. He didn’t even remember chewing it. Oh, no! he thought. What am I going to do? He stuck it inside his desk.

“Jason, may I have my pencil back, please?” asked Rondi.

“What pencil?” asked Jason.

“The one I lent you,” said Rondi.

Jason opened his desk and pretended to look for it. “I don’t know where it is,” he said.

“Mrs. Jewls, Jason stole my pencil!” called Rondi.

“Jason, give Rondi back her pencil,” said Mrs. Jewls.

He gave it to her.

“You chewed on it!” exclaimed Rondi.

Everyone laughed.

“No I didn’t,” said Jason. “Those are your teeth marks.”

“How can they be my teeth marks?” asked Rondi. She smiled. She was missing her two front teeth.

“So?” said Jason. “You don’t chew pencils with your front teeth. You chew them with your back teeth.”

“How do you know?” asked Rondi.

“Um, um, uh,” said Jason.

Mrs. Jewls made Jason write his name on the board under the word DISCIPLINE because he chewed Rondi’s pencil, then lied about it. “And try not to eat the chalk,” she said.

Everyone laughed.

Rondi threw the chewed-up pencil out the window.

It hit Louis on the head.

Mrs. Jewls gave Dameon a stack of work sheets and asked him to pass them out. They contained arithmetic problems.

Jason had to borrow another pencil.

“Allison, may I borrow another pencil, please?” he asked.

“Eat my socks,” said Allison.

That wasn’t such a bad idea, Jason realized. If he stuffed a sock in his mouth, he wouldn’t be able to chew a pencil.

Myron looked at his work sheet. “I don’t feel like doing this stuff,” he said. “Here, Jason, you can have my pencil.”

“Thanks, Myron,” said Jason. “I promise not to chew it.” He hoped he’d be able to keep his promise.

He thought about asking Mrs. Jewls for a Tootsie Roll Pop. If I’m sucking on that, I won’t chew Myron’s pencil. And a Tootsie Roll Pop would probably taste better than Allison’s socks. He didn’t know for sure because he had never tasted Allison’s socks.

But before he could ask Mrs. Jewls, Mrs. Jewls called him. “Jason, will you come here for a moment,” she said. “I think I know how to keep you from chewing pencils.”

Jason smiled as he walked to her desk. “I like the purple ones,” he told her.

But Mrs. Jewls didn’t give him a Tootsie Roll Pop. Instead, she taped his mouth shut with heavy-duty masking tape. She had to use a lot of tape, because Jason had the second biggest mouth in the class. “There,” she said.

Jason started back to his seat.

“Aren’t you even going to say thank you?” asked Mrs. Jewls.

“Mhhmm hhm,” said Jason.

“You’re welcome,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“Hey, Jason,” teased Allison. “You look like a mummy!”

“Don’t sneeze,” said Rondi. “You’ll blow your head off!”

They both laughed.

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“Mh mhhh mhrhhmmm!” Jason said back to them. It was a very bad thing to say. He wasn’t supposed to use words like that.

“You better not pull the tape off,” said Rondi. “You might rip off your lips!”

They both laughed again.

Jason had never been more embarrassed in his whole life. His ears burned as he set to work on the arithmetic problems.

They were tough problems. Several times the pencil crashed against the tape, but the tape held firm.

Mrs. Jewls was very proud of herself. Not only did the tape protect Myron’s pencil, but Mrs. Jewls also noticed that Jason was quieter than he’d ever been. I should tape all their mouths shut, she thought. Then they’d all be so nice and quiet.