Westward Promises (10 page)
Authors: Zoe Matthews
Chase opened the large double doors of his blacksmith business and got things ready for the day. It seemed he was doing everything in slow motion. The hardest thing he ever had to do was to leave Hannah behind in Lucy’s care, but he knew he couldn’t do anything for her. She hadn’t talked to him since the conversation at the doctor’s. She wouldn’t look at him and turned away whenever he entered the room. He had spent the last two nights sleeping on the sofa because he wanted to give her space, but also because he felt she didn’t want him around.
He had put away the baby blanket that had been sitting on the window seat in the living room, right where Hannah had left it. Maybe when she was able to get out of bed, if it wasn’t in her sight, she would accept the loss of the baby better.
He felt that their marriage was at a turning point. The closeness that they had begun to share was no longer there. It wasn't strong enough to endure a loss like this. He had a terrible fear that he was going to lose her too. In fact, he wondered if he already had.
****
Three weeks after the loss of the baby, Hannah waited in her bed until she heard Chase leave for the livery. For the first time, she was totally alone. Up until this morning, Lucy, Ruth, or Nellie had spent the day with her while Chase was at work. Since she had lost so much blood, and she had been very weak, it was taking her a long time to recover. She was grateful for the help she had received from Chase’s family, but she was glad she finally had some time to herself without someone hovering and giving her unwanted advice and help.
She carefully got out of bed and dressed for the day. She felt weak, but she was stronger than she was the day before. She brewed some tea and enjoyed a cup at the kitchen table, along with a piece of bread and jam. Then she knew what she needed to do.
She went into the bedroom and bent to pull out the bag with her old clothes in it from under the bed. She carefully changed out of the dress Chase had bought her and put on the faded patched one. She made sure that only the clothes that she had brought with her were in the bag.
She knew that if she asked Chase if he wanted her to stay, he would tell her yes, because that was the kind of man he was. He would never turn her out, turn her away. However, she knew he had married her because he wanted to be a father, and now that was no longer an option. She needed to leave.
She didn’t know where she would go. Maybe she would be able to find a job in a city nearby. She could take care of herself. She didn’t need a man to take care of her.
She stepped out of the cabin and set the bag down on the porch. She would go to the barn and hitch up the mare. Even though she hadn’t driven the horse and buggy by herself, or hitched it up by herself for that matter, she thought she could do it since she had watched Chase very carefully. She would drive the mare and buggy to the nearest city and then make arrangements to have them returned to Chase. But when she got to the barn, the mare wasn’t there. Did Chase take her away?
She left the barn, looked around, and then saw the horse in a nearby fenced field. Hannah watched the mare for a few minutes. The horse seemed to be enjoying the freedom of being out in the spring sunshine because she was running along the fence, nickering a few times. When the horse saw her, she slowed to a stop. Hannah leaned against the fence and held her hand out, not expecting the horse to come to her, yet she thought she would try anyway. The horse stood still watching her for a while, and then something unexpected happened. The mare’s brown eyes looked at her as if asking her a question. She then slowly started to take one step, and then another, until she was standing just out of reach of Hannah’s outstretched hand. The mare was poised as if ready to run away at the slightest movement, but her eyes seemed to tell Hannah that she wanted to trust her.
“I would have named you Sunbeam,” Hannah whispered to the horse. “I think we could have been friends.”
Then the mare did something that Hannah never thought she’d see. The horse walked right up to her and placed her nose into her hand. She was telling Hannah that she trusted her. Hannah raised her other hand and started to pet the side of her face. The horse didn’t move away. After all that Sunbeam had been through, she was allowing herself to trust again.
Something changed in Hannah’s heart. If an abused horse could give life a chance again, shouldn’t she be able to?
“I thought the mare would enjoy some time in the sunshine and to stretch her legs.”
Hannah was startled at the words and turned around. Chase was standing a few feet away, looking at her with a sad smile.
“Her name is Sunbeam.” They were the only words she could think to say to him. They both stood and looked at each other for a few moments. “I thought you had left for the day.”
“I came back. I wanted to check on you since this was the first day on your own. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Hannah watched as his eyes went to the porch where the bag was sitting with her old clothes in it, her old life. She watched as his eyes saddened and she thought she could see a film of tears and devastation form on his face.
Suddenly, she would have given anything to be in his arms. She knew without words what he was telling her, that he loved her, and that he desperately did not want her to leave.
“I have just one question and I would like you to think about it, deep down inside, before you answer. Do you really want to leave?” he asked her.
“Don’t you think it will be for the best? The baby is gone.” Hannah looked at the ground, not wanting to see the emotions that were on his face.
“It’s true that I wanted the baby and I am sad it will no longer be born, but I didn’t marry you just for the baby. You are the wife I want. I want you.”
She thought of his question that he asked her to think about. Did she really want to leave? She suddenly knew the answer. No, she did not. She wanted to stay and be Chase’s wife. She wanted to live her life in this little cabin he had built with his own hands. She wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet of this life he had provided for her.
She looked at Sunbeam. The mare was still standing near her. Who knew what the mare had been through in her life, but she was willing to give Hannah a chance. Why couldn’t Hannah do the same?
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she blurted out. “What if I lose another child? What if I can’t carry another?”
“You will hurt me if you leave. I still want you to be my wife even if we never have a child.”
She was startled at his words. Did he really mean them? For the first time, she allowed herself to look in his eyes, the windows of his soul, and what she saw touched her clear to her own soul. He loved her. He meant what he said. He didn’t want her to leave.
Suddenly, she felt a rush of emotions that she had never felt before. Did she love him too? She cried out and flung herself at him in a big hug. He caught her and laughed out loud. He swung her around, both of them laughing with joy as he did so. “Love can heal anything,” he told her. “Your love healed Sunbeam. My love has healed you.”
“I think I love you,” she said the words out loud with wonder. She had never said those words before to anyone.
“I know you love me,” he chuckled and planted a kiss on her nose. He swept her into his arms and headed towards the cabin. She put her arms around his neck as he carried her into their home. She knew that their marriage wouldn’t be a fairytale. There would be good times as well as bad, but spring had come, to the beautiful mountain land of her new home, and to her heart.
The End
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Zoe started writing as a young teenager and has kept that passion alive throughout her life. At any one time she can be found relaxing and devouring a good western romance novel or gathering information for one of her own future books.
She loves living in the high mountain deserts of the western United States. Her hobbies include photographing desert landscapes and her adorable grandchildren as well as dabbling in watercolors.
Her perfect summer days would be spent up at the family cabin writing, painting, hiking and associating with family.