Westward Promises (5 page)

“Hannah, you are shaking the entire bed,” Chase said with a gentle voice.   “I don’t think it is good for the baby or for you to be this upset.” 

She felt him gently brush a lock of her hair from her face.  “I am going to make a lucky guess that your first husband wasn’t gentle with you.” 

“No.”  It was all Hannah could say.  She turned her face to look at him and could see the line of his jaw faintly in the darkness.      

“Can you tell me what the first night of marriage to him was like?”   

“He was a stranger, too.”  Suddenly, she wanted to tell him about her first marriage.  Maybe he would understand why she was so nervous.  “I answered an ad from him.” 

“You were a mail-order bride to him?  This isn’t the first time?”   

“No.”  She felt ashamed as she remembered the girl she used to be.  The girl who still had dreams of happily-ever-after.  “Jack wrote a charming letter and I was immediately smitten.  He seemed funny.  He told me he had a successful farm.  I knew when he drove me to his farm for the first time that all he had told me was a lie.” 

“What happened?”   

“He ordered me to get down from the wagon, take care of the horses and fix his dinner.  When I didn’t move fast enough, he….” She hesitated.  Did she really want to admit that he hit her regularly when she didn’t do what he wanted fast enough?   

But Chase guessed.  “He hit you, didn’t he?”   

“He took a bottle of booze from the wagon and drank the entire bottle before I even had dinner on the table.” 

“He was a drunk.” 

“A mean drunk, and he drank almost daily.”  She remembered that she had cleaned up the dishes after the meal, still hoping that things weren’t going to be as it was starting to look.  Maybe he would sleep off the whiskey and be his charming self by the next day.   

“He was abusive.”  Chase’s voice was devoid of any emotion.   

“After a while, I became numb to it.  It was the only way to survive.  He wasn’t like that all the time.  I learned to be grateful for the good days.” 

Hannah laid next to Chase in the dark.   He hadn’t said a word since she told him about her first marriage.   He hadn’t moved closer to her either.  She continued to shake, even though she tried to stop the tremors.   She started to feel nauseous.   

“Do you know how long it took me to answer an ad in the papers?”  Chase finally broke the silence.  “Over a year.  I even thought about placing my own ad.  I would go to the general store and look at the other ads men and women had placed, wondering who placed them and what type of people answered them.  But I just couldn’t bring myself to answer them.  Until I read yours.” 

“Why did you write to me?”  She tried to shake away the past and focus on her future.   

“There was just something about your ad that touched me.  I knew I needed to write you and at least try to see what would happen.”   

“Because I was desperate.” 

“No, actually I didn’t see that.  Over the next few days, I couldn’t get your ad out of my mind.  I’d think about you, widowed and pregnant.  You didn’t make promises.  You didn’t seem too good to be true.  I could see your honesty.” 

“You could have chosen a more beautiful wife.” 

“I don’t think so.  You are beautiful to me.  In fact, if I had known you were alone, hiding in a barn, I would have answered your ad sooner.  “  

She could see him lean closer and she braced herself for what she was sure would happen next.  She closed her eyes tightly and waited for him to grab her   Instead, she felt his lips brush against her forehead.   

“Good night, Hannah,” he whispered.  Then he moved away and settled under the covers to sleep.   

She laid on her back staring in the darkness for quite some time, trying to figure out what had just happened.  It seemed he was giving her some time.   She soon heard Chase’s breath even out in sleep and she gradually relaxed.   

She knew that love didn’t exist.  Love was a story told to young girls so they would want to get married.  It was a trick.  However, she learned one major thing in the last few hours   Her new life here was not going to be as hard as she had expected.  Tears of relief rolled down her face and she finally was able to drift off to sleep.    

Chase could hear retching in the bedroom as he filled the kettle full of water and placed it on the stove.   It sounded like she didn’t do well in the mornings.   He remembered his sister had given him advice on this subject. 

“Make sure she has a bucket beside the bed,” Lucy had told him.  “She won’t be feeling well in the mornings, at least until her fourth month.  She will need some help.  A man just can’t understand what it’s like.  The sickness will drain her.  Make sure she rests when she needs it.  Fix some of the meals.  Do some of the housework.  You don’t want her to regret she married you.”  Lucy had said the last comment with a teasing grin and laughter in her eyes.   

He cracked some eggs into a bowl and started to stir them.  He figured Hannah might like some scrambled eggs and toast.  Eating might settle her stomach.  He heard the bedroom door open and felt her presence behind him.   

“Good morning,” Chase turned around to look at her.  She looked pale and thin, too thin.  He couldn’t even tell she was carrying a child.  “You don’t look very well.  Maybe you should go back to bed.” 

“I’m fine.”  She had braided her dark hair and the thick rope fell down behind her back.   

“You don’t look fine, honey.” He poured the egg mixture into a frying pan and started to cook them.   

“I just need a bite to eat, maybe some toast or tea.”  She refused to look at him, but sat down on a kitchen chair.   

“My sister gave me quite a lecture about pregnant women.”  He saw her shiver and he resisted the urge to grab a blanket to cover her shoulders.   “I have the kettle on and I am toasting some bread in the oven.  The eggs should be done soon.” 

The kettle whistled and Hannah jumped up from the chair.   

“I can finish breakfast.”  She reached to grab the kettle and proceeded to pour the water into the teapot.  Chase pulled the frying pan off the stove and watched her as she prepared the tea.  He could see her soft skin and long lashes   His gaze lingered on her mouth.  A mouth that was made for kissing.   

He wanted to insist that she sit back down, that he finish the breakfast preparations, but he remembered her determination the night before when she insisted that she be the one to wash the dishes.  It was as if doing the dishes would prove her worth.   

He quickly pulled the bread out of the oven and was glad to see the slices only had a few dark spots on them.  He buttered the toast, and then helped Hannah set the eggs and cups of tea on the table.  “You should have milk, Hannah,” Chase told her.  “We have all the milk you need.” 

Hannah shook her head.  “Milk doesn’t taste very good right now.”  She sat down and waited as Chase said the prayer.   

“Dear Lord, thanks for the food we are about to eat.   Please bless Hannah that she will feel better and have a good day.  I thank thee for Hannah and that we are now together.  Amen.” 

Chase started to eat, but stopped when he noticed Hannah staring at him as if she was trying to figure something out.  “Aren’t you hungry?   I can fix something else if eggs and toast doesn’t look good.” 

She blinked her eyes and shook her head.  “The food is fine.”  She took a sip of tea and then a small bite of toast.   

Chase watched her for a moment.  Her presence in his life was changing everything.  There would no longer be quiet mornings spent alone.   When he returned home after his work in the evenings, she would be here to greet him.   His many years of loneliness had come to an end.    

****

Chase left for the day as soon as breakfast was over.  He had dropped a kiss on her forehead in farewell, and for the first time, Hannah didn’t mind the kiss.  She knew he was willing to give her time to get used to being married to him. 

She quickly washed the breakfast dishes.  She took time to appreciate the new dishes Chase had obviously purchased for her arrivals.  She made sure the wooden counters and table were wiped clean.  She wanted to take care of Chase’s house and belongings and show him that she was a good wife.   

After the kitchen was cleaned, she sat down at the table with another cup of tea, but it didn’t taste very good because it was no longer hot.  Suddenly, she heard a knock at the door.  When she opened it, there was a small woman standing on the porch.  She had blond, almost white, hair that hung in curls down her back.  When she smiled, Hannah saw Chase’s grin on the woman’s face, and immediately knew this woman was Chase’s sister.   

Hannah invited the woman in, but immediately felt embarrassed.  She hadn’t had a chance to wipe up the snow that had melted when Chase came in to tell her goodbye after he had done the barn chores.  She hadn’t swept the floor either or dusted.   

“Hannah,” the woman burst into the room and surprised Hannah by giving her a hug.  As she took off her coat, Hannah immediately noticed a small bump of a growing child.  “It is good to meet you   I'm Lucy, Chase's sister.  You aren’t all what I expected, but you are breathtaking.   How old are you?”   

“I just turned 21.”  Hannah watched the friendly woman look her up and down.  She tried not to feel even more embarrassment as she was sure Lucy noticed the worn shoes and patched and faded calico dress.   

“I am only a few years younger than Chase, so think of me as your older sister.   I am so happy that we’re both pregnant.  Did Chase tell you I snooped and discovered your secret?”  Lucy hung her coat on a peg next to Hannah’s. Hannah could tell Lucy felt quite at home in her brother’s house.   

“I know it is early, but I knew you were here alone.  There is so much to be done to fix up this house.  I thought I would come over and offer my services.   Are you feeling okay, dear?  You look a little pale.” 

Hannah smiled at Lucy's enthusiasm.  She never had a sister before and Lucy seemed very easy to like.  “I’m okay.  I was just going to make another pot of tea.  Would you like some?”   

“Heavens, no.  Don’t fuss over me.  I’ll just keep you company while you have yours.”  She walked around the kitchen table and took a seat, not even noticing the unswept floor.  “After your tea, do you feel like a trip to town?” 

Hannah hesitated. “I was planning on cleaning the house.”  It was so engrained in her that she had to keep a clean house; it didn’t occur to her that she could plan something else.   

Lucy waved her hand.  “That can wait.  Actually, Chase asked me to take you.   Pine Valley might be small, but we have a nice selection of fabric and other goods.” 

Hannah thought of the curtains she wanted to make.  She began to feel excited as she remembered Chase had put her name on his account.  “I would love to go shopping.” 

“Chase stopped by my house on the way to the livery and asked me to make sure you were okay.  He was worried because you were so sick this morning.” 

“I’m feeling better at the moment," Hannah told her.  “I am usually sick until mid-morning and then I only feel twinges a few times throughout the rest of the day.” 

“Lucky you.  My sickness tends to plague me constantly until my fourth month.  Even now I sometimes feel sick in the evenings, even though I am almost six months along.”  Lucy placed a hand on her bulging stomach.  “How far along are you?”   

“I think about three months.”  She felt encouraged and she forced herself to put away her shyness.  “I haven’t had anyone to talk to about this.” 

“Well, you have me now, along with Ruth and Nellie, my brothers’ wives.   I would have asked them to join us but Ruth has a child with a cold and Nellie has a teething baby, so it will just be us.  That’s probably best anyway.  There is no reason to expose you to the entire family on your first day.” 

Lucy continued to chatter about Chase’s family as the kettle whistled and Hannah made herself another cup of tea.  After this second one, she started to feel better and was able to keep it down, along with another slice of toast.   

“One thing you need to know about me right off is that I’m bossy.  I have always been this way, but I’m sure you’ll get used to it.  Everyone else in the family has.” 

"Even your husband?”  Hannah couldn’t imagine that a man would be willing to put up with a bossy wife.   

"Donald puts up with it most of all.  He knew what he was getting into when he married me.  If he doesn’t like it, it’s his own fault for asking me to marry him.” 

Hannah looked at Lucy closely, trying to imagine a marriage like she was describing.  She saw something deep in Lucy's eyes, a happiness that Hannah had never imagined for herself.   

"How did you meet your husband?” asked Hannah.   

"We’ve known each other ever since we were young.  Donald and I walked to school together every day.  He was sweet on me, even before I started to like him.” 

"You must have known him well before you married him then,” Hannah commented.  She tried to picture what Lucy was describing, a small boy and girl who attended school together, laughed and played together, and developed a strong bond of friendship which turned into more.   

"My brothers and his sisters were there too, but most of the time we were able to ignore them.  Even when we were young, I always wanted to be around Donald.”  Lucy noticed that Hannah was done with her tea and toast and stood up to put on her fine beautiful coat.   

So it was a love match?  Hannah really didn’t believe it, but Lucy seemed very happy.  Did she actually like being married?  Hannah slid her arms into her own worn coat.  Maybe Lucy was just one of those optimistic sort of people, always doing her best in whatever situation she was in, no matter whether it was good or bad.   

Then Hannah realized that in a way she was doing the same thing.  She had married Chase hoping to make the best in whatever situation she ended up in.  She saw Lucy look at her carefully, this time with compassion on her face.   

You don’t know how glad I am that Chase found you.  I think you will be good for him.” 

"Chase has been very kind to me.”  She suddenly realized that she no longer felt alone.  When her baby was born, it would have cousins to play with.   It would have friends to walk to school with.  It would have a normal childhood.  Her baby would have the kind of life she had always dreamed of.   

Hannah allowed Lucy to grab her hand and pull her outside.  She noticed that the snow had stopped falling sometime during the night.  The sun was out and the snow that had fallen the day before was already starting to melt.  Since it was the end of April, maybe spring was on its way.  She smiled, lifting her face to feel the sun’s warmth, and vowed to herself to enjoy this new friendship with Chase’s sister.      

****

"So, how does it feel to be a married man?” his brother, Brent, asked Chase as he gave his big black stallion a pat.  They were standing in the open doors of the livery barn.  His brother pulled out his pocket watch to check the time.  Chase knew Brent wanted to leave as soon as possible so his deliveries would be on time.  He ran a business which delivered food, goods, and other items back and forth between Pine Valley and many of the surrounding towns.   

Chase quickly buckled the last harness and the horses were ready to go.   "It doesn’t feel much different," he admitted.  "But she just arrived yesterday.  It will be a nice change to have dinner waiting for me when I get home.” 

"Yep, there’s nothing better than a woman’s cooking that’s for sure.”  His brother winked at him.  "I remember what it was like to be a newlywed.” 

Chase handed the reins to Brent as he felt heat spreading across his face.  He thought of Hannah and how pale she looked that morning.  He remembered how tempted he was to give her a kiss that only a man could give a woman, letting her know how much he desired her.  But he also couldn’t forget how much she trembled the night before in their bed, afraid in the one place that she should have felt safe.   

"Brace yourself," Brent slapped his hand on Chase’s back.  "Lucy is coming this way and she does not look happy.” 

Chase looked at his sister who was coming towards them, walking as fast as she could in her condition with a frown on her face.  What could be wrong?   Did something happen to Hannah?   

Lucy got right to the point when she reached Chase's side.  "Hannah will not cooperate," she announced with her hands on her hips.  "I don’t know how to get her to purchase the things she needs.  She’s being very stubborn.” 

Chase’s concern turned into amusement.  He glanced down the street towards the general store.  "Don't worry.  I'll take care of it," he told his sister.   

He started walking toward the store with his sister walking beside him.  "What is she refusing to buy?” he asked.   

"She will not pick out a single dress or even fabric to make one.  I know she doesn’t have a pair of gloves, but she won’t pick some out.  She says she doesn’t want to spend your money.” 

"I see.  She’s trying to be frugal.”  Even though Chase was trying to make light of the situation, he could understand why Lucy was so upset.  Anyone who gave Hannah a good look would see that she needed new clothes years ago.  From what he could tell, he doubted that her first husband had bought her anything.   

He entered the store, a bell tinkling as the door opened announcing his presence.   His boots clomped on the wood floor as he approached Hannah’s side.  She looked up at him, anxiety showing all over her face as she bit her lower lip.