Authors: Zoe Matthews
"I like that fabric. It’s pretty.” Chase pointed to some yellow fabric with small blue flowers. "It would make a nice dress for you.”
Hannah shook her head. "I thought it would make nice curtains for the kitchen.”
Chase nodded. "You’re right. I hope you purchase plenty of fabric so you can make it the way you want. Is there anything else you would like?”
"No. Is there something you need?”
Chase made an instant decision. "Yes I need you to follow me.” He took her hand and led her to a rack full of ready-made dresses of various sizes. "I would like you to choose three of these dresses.”
"Three?” Hannah did not think she heard him correctly. Startled, she looked into his eyes and she could tell he meant what he said. "I don’t need three dresses. I don’t need anything.”
Chase ignored her and turned to the shop's owner who was standing nearby. "Mrs. Clements, get my wife a new coat and some warm gloves. She would like this fabric to make some curtains."
Mrs. Clements nodded her head with a sparkle in her eyes. "I’ll get those things for her. You might want to get her a new pair shoes, too.”
Chase nodded his head in agreement. "Yes. In fact, I would like her to have two pairs, one for every day and one for Sunday.”
****
Chase kept Hannah's hand in his, although she tried to pull away. Was he embarrassed of how she was dressed? She looked down at her faded dress. There were many patches all over it, but they were neat. This dress was one of the last dresses Dr. Wilson had purchased for her before he died. It used to be a bright blue in color, but it had faded to an almost gray. It was worn, but it was still serviceable.
Chase lifted her chin with his finger to look in his eyes. "I want you to get what you need, Hannah.'
"I don’t need anything," she wanted to argue, but when Chase had touched her chin and it left a warm feeling on her skin. For the first time, she shivered from his touch. He was making it impossible for her to think.
Chase reached for her hand again, touching his fingers to her wedding band. "I’m asking you to get what you need for me. I want you to have what you need. No more dresses with patches or worn-out shoes. You deserve more.”
She started to nod her head in agreement. She did not want him to be ashamed of her. She knew he was a prominent businessman in this town and most likely she would need to dress in finer clothing than she was used to. She remembered that Dr. Wilson had also insisted that she have nice clothing.
"It’s still too expensive," Hannah tried to argue, aware that Mrs. Clements and Lucy were listening to every word. "A good wife does not spend all of her husband’s money. How about if I just purchase one dress?”
"I have waited a long time to find you," Chase told her firmly as he smiled down at her with his gentle blue-gray eyes. "Three dresses.” He pulled out a flowery pink dress. "This one is pretty and the flowers match your eyes.”
Hannah glanced at the dress he was holding and then looked at him. She had been too afraid to spend his money, but suddenly she understood what he was trying to tell her. She understood the silent question he asked. She understood what loneliness was. She had been lonely for much of her childhood and then as a wife. She knew that loneliness left you longing for a place to belong with one special person.
She still couldn’t see how her loneliness could be totally erased, but she hoped for it, and she could see Chase hoped for it also as he held the dress up to her. The dress was much too fine for her, but she did not want to embarrass him, so she took it in her hands and accepted the gift.
"It’s the perfect size for her," Lucy commented as she stepped closer to help now that Chase had taken care of the problem. "The man has put his foot down, kindly mind you, but he did it all the same. You’re right, Chase. The flowers do match her eyes. If you want me to, I can take over now. You can go back to your livery.”
Chase smiled his approval. "You brought so little with you, Hannah. Please allow Lucy to help you get what you need. You can also get a few things that you want. Yarn for knitting. Thread for embroidery. Anything that will make you happy."
Hannah’s heart jumped at Chase’s words. She had always wanted to learn embroidery, but it was considered fancy stitching and not worth the extra expense. Maybe she would purchase some of the colorful thread and learn how to add decorative stitches to her clothing and the pillows that she wanted to make for Chase’s home.
"Thank you, Chase," Hannah told him with a smile.
"You need to promise me that you will have fun.” Chase reached out to brush a lock of hair out of her eyes and again Hannah felt the tingle when his fingers touched her skin.
"I promise," Hannah said because she knew it would make him happy. But also because she now knew that her duty to be a good wife was to look nice. Chase left the store, his boots again clicking against the wood floor, and Hannah turned and watched as Lucy took another dress from the rack.
Many men came by the livery that afternoon, mostly to tease Chase about his new wife. Reverend Brown stopped by to make sure Hannah was doing all right, and Mrs. Clements came by when it was closing time with some packages of purchases that Hannah had made, with Lucy's help. He was glad he asked Lucy to help Hannah out, for he suspected that she would not have purchased as much as she had. When he had returned to the livery, he had kept glancing out of the large double doors, hoping to see Hannah and Lucy as they made their way back to his house, but he never saw them, and he knew they must have passed when he had to go into the livery barn and saddle a horse that a man had rented.
It was snowing again, and Apache stomped a hoof as he snorted his frustration of being out in the cold.
"I know, buddy," Chase told his horse. "It’s the end of April and it’s still snowing. Let’s hurry home.” He placed the packages Mrs. Clements had given him in a saddlebag and swung his leg over Apache's back.
He got the horse moving and then huddled in his warm coat as they headed towards home. "It seems as if spring is never going to come,” he muttered to himself. "But just think, tonight when I step into the house, Hannah is going to be there."
The horse tilted his ears as if trying to hear what Chase was saying. He stopped talking out loud, but as he thought of Hannah, he could picture her standing in the doorway as she welcomed him home. For the first night since he’d been on his own, there would be someone to welcome him home. He could picture it, Hannah standing at the stove in one of her new dresses cooking a delicious dinner. The house would be warm because she was there.
Suddenly, Apache veered off to the left, and he soon realized why the horse had stopped. Off to the side of the road was a thin brown mare. Chase jumped from Apache and approached the mare with caution, but soon realized there was no need. He could tell that the horse had not been cared for, for quite some time. She was thin and coated with dirt, but she was gentle and allowed Chase to come near, even though she was a bit skittish.
"It’s okay girl," Chase told her as he reached for a rope that hung from his saddle. "You can come home with us. Let's get you out of the storm. He quickly tied the rope into a bridle and draped it over the mare’s head and face. He then swung back on Apache and led the mare towards his home.
When he had reached his yard, he immediately led both horses into the barn. He tied the mare to a post and quickly took care of Apache's needs. Then he turned to the mare. He spent some time brushing and drying her, then he led her into a stall and fed her.
"It’s all right, girl. You are safe here.” The mare looked at him with sad eyes. She was still skittish, her skin trembling in fear.
"It looks like you’ve had a little rough life," he said to the mare. "That’s Apache over there. He’ll be your companion for a while."
He decided to milk the cow before he went into the house, but he could not find the bucket. He wondered if Hannah had taken care of that chore and then noticed that Betsy had been milked. He considered milking his job and he wasn’t sure how he felt about Hannah doing his work. He remembered how determined she was the night before over washing the dishes. He knew that she needed to feel like she was contributing. He grabbed Hannah’s packages, secured the barn door, and headed towards the house.
It was only a short distance from the barn to the house, but by the time he bumped into the corner of the porch, he was numb and almost frozen. He stumbled up the steps and tried to open the door but his hand slipped, and then miraculously it opened. There was Hannah holding the door open so he could come in.
"I was getting really worried," she told him after she closed the door. "I wondered if you would stay in town where it was safe."
"It wasn't snowing like this when I left," he told her with his teeth chattering. "Besides Apache knows every step to the barn by heart.” It touched him that she was concerned. At that moment, he knew there was hope for something special between them.
He dropped the packages onto the sofa and started to remove his gloves and coat.
"Let me help you.” Hannah unwrapped the scarf from his neck. "Your face is nearly white. You got too cold, Chase.”
"I’m fine," he retorted almost gruffly.
"No you're not. You feel like ice. Come and sit next to the stove and get warm.” As he followed her, he noticed that she was still wearing her patched faded dress instead of one of the new ones he had bought her. She also had not replaced her old shoes. He knew that Lucy would have sent one of the dresses and a pair of shoes home with her.
He knew he needed to address this issue, but decided to bide his time. Right now, she was here and that was all that mattered.
"I’ve made coffee. I’ll pour you a cup.” She searched his face to make sure he was all right before reaching for the pot.
It’s definitely better coming home to a wife
, Chase thought to himself. Before, he would have had to start the fire and the coffee and thaw out on his own.
"Here.” Hannah handed him a mug. "This should warm you up. Is there anything else you need?”
He shook his head. "No, Hannah. This is fine, thank you.” He wanted to reach out and touch her face, but he knew his hands were still ice cold, so he would have to wait. He could see the anxiety in her eyes again, as if wondering if she was doing the right thing.
Hannah turned away. "I’ll have dinner on the table in a few minutes. I enjoyed shopping with Lucy today. She gave me a lot of helpful hints."
"What did she tell you?” Chase asked in curiosity.
"She told me you love roast beef and gravy. You also enjoy baked potatoes, but you like them even more mashed."
"So I’m guessing you mashed the potatoes tonight.” Chase knew that there was roast beef cooking in the oven because he could smell it.
"I didn’t mind.” Hannah busied herself taking out the roast from the oven and slicing it. He was making her nervous as she could feel him watching her as she finished the dinner preparations. She quickly stirred the mashed potatoes and added a bit more salt.
"If your warm enough, we can eat now," she informed him.
****
"Everything smells really good," Chase told her as he sat down at the kitchen table. He still had the cup of coffee in his hand and Hannah noticed that it was almost gone. Was it to his liking? She remembered the many times she hadn’t prepared the coffee to Jack’s liking, mostly because she hadn’t sweetened it enough, which was hard to do when there was little sugar in the house. He would go into a rage and throw the mug down on the floor and sometimes at her. Then he would start drinking.
"Are you okay?” Hannah faintly heard the question in the back of her mind and shook her head as if to clear it. She noticed Chase looking at her with concern and quickly shoved her memories to the back of her mind.
I need to concentrate on serving this meal
, she said to herself. She hurried and placed the roast beef, mashed potatoes, biscuits and vegetables on the table. She had set the table with the new dishes.
Chase bowed his head and said a brief prayer over the food. In his prayer, he also thanked God that she was in his life, just as he had done that morning. After the prayer, when Hannah tried to serve him, he insisted that she fill her plate first, and then his.
They both were quiet for a few minutes while they started to eat, but Hannah started to think about the fact that Chase had said a prayer before each meal since she arrived. Did this mean that he was a God-fearing man? Did he go to church regularly? In her experience, she knew that most men who went to church did not drink, although she knew that there were exceptions. Dr. Wilson had never gone to church with her, but he also never drank like Jack had. Did this mean that Chase didn’t drink whiskey? She had only been married to him for a little over 24 hours, and she knew that she would not be able to tell whether he drank regularly or not in that short amount of time. However, she had spent the afternoon cleaning the small cabin and had not seen one bottle of whiskey. At the time she wondered if he stored his whiskey in the barn, but now she was hoping that this would not be something she would need to worry about with Chase.
"So what did you do this afternoon?” Chase asked her.
"I cleaned the kitchen and living area. I know that Lucy cleaned before I came, but I wanted to make sure everything had been done.” She placed another biscuit on her plate. “I made a promise to you and I intend to keep that promise. I will be such a good wife, you will not regret that you married me."
"I made some promises to you too and I will also keep them," Chase told her as he sat his fork down beside his plate. He looked at her very intently as if trying to communicate something to her without words. He started to lean towards her and his eyes darkened with an emotion that she did not recognize. He was so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. He tilted her chin with one finger and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Hannah jerked back in surprise and he dropped his hand. The tingling that she felt in the store that morning spread throughout her whole body and she wondered at the sensation of it.
"I promise that as long as I’m alive you will have a home with me, as well as your baby and any other children that might come along. And even if something did happen to me, you will still be provided for by my family. You are safe here. I don’t want you to work so hard. You don’t need to prove anything to me.”
Hannah felt very confused. "Why are you being so nice to me? You hardly know me."
"True," Chase nodded his agreement at her words. "But for some reason, I feel like I’ve always known you."
Chase stood up with his mug in his hand to refill it with coffee. Seeing this, Hannah jumped up to take his cup and refill it herself, but Chase refused to let her have it.
"I can do this myself. It is not your job to be at my beck and call.”
He pushed her down gently back in her chair and then brought the coffee pot over to the table refilling his and hers. Hannah was stunned at what just happened. Again, he was showing her that this marriage was not going to be like her first one.
Chase sat down and continued talking. "When I read your ad, your words grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. It was as if I knew there could be something special between us.”
"I don’t know what you mean. How could a simple ad show so much? They were just words.”
"Yes, they were just words, but they were your words and words can be powerful."
"I had to pay by the word," she told him. "I only had a few coins and so the ad had to be brief.”
"Maybe so, but it felt like God was guiding me.” He took her hand gently in his and held it as if it was something precious. "When my mother died, the grief my father felt nearly took him with her. They had a very strong bond, a bond I have rarely seen in other marriages. They lived for each other. Pa is not whole without her and he has never stopped grieving for her.
"It’s a nice story, but love is a fairytale. It’s not real."
"The story of my parents’ marriage is not make-believe. In fact, happy marriages run in my family. My two brothers and Lucy all have happy marriages."
Hannah remembered what Lucy had told her about her husband, Donald, that morning, but she was having a hard time believing that an entire family had love in their marriages.
She didn’t say anything else, just quickly finished her meal and immediately started on the dishes. Chase didn’t say anything, either. He just watched her as he had done the evening before, although she did hear him walk into their bedroom for a moment. After she wiped the last dish and put it away, Chase held out his hand and pulled her down on a chair.
“One of the traditions my Pa always did after dinner was over was to read out of the Bible. I think it would be a good idea if we start that tradition in our own marriage.”
Hannah nodded her head, not really sure what he meant. She saw a large leather Bible opened in front of him. He must have gotten it on his trip to the bedroom. She remembered seeing it on the bureau the night before, but she assumed it was there only for decoration. It never occurred to her that people actually read out of the Bible for enjoyment. Hannah wanted to refuse and leave the room, but she was afraid of his reaction, so she stayed put.
Chase looked down at the large book in front of him and started to read.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.”
As she listened to him read the Bible verse, her heart sank. She finally realized what Chase was trying to tell her. He wanted her love. Didn’t he know he picked the wrong woman for that? She did not know how to love someone.
How could she tell him? Should she let him continue to hope for the impossible to happen? Or should she tell him now so he could get out of the marriage and find the bride who would give him what he wanted?
“I am thinking that our marriage is of convenience,” Hannah finally said because Chase was looking at her as if he expected her to say something. She quickly stood, went to the counter and removed a cake from its hiding place.