What She Left Us (14 page)

"And
we have to get to the local hospital to have our blood drawn. Oh shit! We
probably should have started today. Oh well, it’s not going to kill us to miss
one day, right?” Jenna joked. Then she said slowly and steadily, “Because
we.are.not.going.to.die.”

Courtney
shook her head and then brushed her bangs away from her eyes. “I’m not taking
all this in right now. Seriously, this is too much to comprehend. I’m getting a
major headache.” She rubbed her temples.

Jenna
patted her sister’s hand. “Everything is going to be fine. I’m here, that’s why
I’m here. To make sure everything is going to be okay. I’m going to take care
of you, to take care of us. I’m good. I’ve processed everything. I think I’m
almost over Darren. I had a major cryfest last night,” Jenna continued. “Do you
see these huge bags under my eyes? I was up until four a.m. going through all
our stuff, almost like a purging. I might even get my tattoo removed. I bet he
already did. It’s time to start over, a fresh new move.”

Courtney
looked at her sister and wondered who the girl sitting across from her really
was. This was not her sister talking. There was no way she was over Darren.

“So
here’s what we’ll do. You go to class, I’m going to get the paper and start
looking for an apartment, and also to see if I can find a part-time job. I need
to do something to stay busy or I'll go nuts. I’m also going over to the local
hospital to schedule appointments for Monday for the both of us. Oh, and I
guess you’ll have to tell that boyfriend of yours, huh?”

“You
don’t like him, do you?”

“He’s
kind of, um… I can’t read him,” Jenna admitted.

“Well,
you better start reading him
and
liking him,” Courtney said. “Because I
really, really like him.”

“So,
safe to say you’ve, um… ?” Jenna raised her eyebrows.

“A
lady never tells,” Courtney said.

“There
are no ladies in this room,” Jenna joked.

“Let’s
just say you might have to find an apartment very fast,” Courtney grinned.

“I
guess I’m going to have to learn to like him, or at least get along with him?”
Jenna asked.

“Oh
yes, you’re going to have to like him,” Courtney said. “Because I definitely
do.”

“Go
to class, and get some, while you’re out there. Class, that is.”

Mitch
and Courtney were in the cafeteria, having dinner. Noisy, hungry kids yelled to
their friends, silverware clanged as students dropped spoons onto trays, and
Courtney felt the remains of her headache resurface. Jenna had gone out to see
an apartment that looked promising.

“So
your sister, she doesn’t like me too much, does she?”

“It’s
not that, she’s a bit over-protective,” Courtney took a bite of her sandwich,
and then flipped it back onto her plate. “I’m done with this.”

Nothing
looked good in the cafeteria line so she chose a turkey on wheat, while Mitch
got the meatloaf and mashed potatoes, which he rifled through as if it were his
last meal.

“What’s
she doing here anyway?” Mitch asked, finishing up his last bite.

“That’s
real nice,” Courtney said.

“I
don’t mean it that way, but seriously, what kind of sister comes to college to
live with her little sister?” He touched her hand gently.

“Let’s
go upstairs and I’ll tell you,” Courtney said.

“That
bad?”

“Not
that
bad, but not something I want to discuss over meat loaf and the
rest of this slop.”

“Can
we take the elevator?” he grinned. It had become their joke ever since the
first time he kissed her. Now, every chance they got to take the elevator, they
did, and they made the most of it.

“Only
if we can take it alone.”

“Deal.”

They
cleared their trays and walked hand-in-hand to the elevators. Courtney didn’t
care if anyone saw them, and apparently it didn’t bother Mitch to hold her hand
in public. Enough of the staff had seen them together and she had spoken with
her supervisor about it. As long as she was doing her duties as RA and not letting
anything interfere with the safety of the kids she was responsible for, then it
was okay for her to date whomever she wanted to date.

When
the first elevator arrived, a group of kids from the cafeteria showed up so
Mitch and Courtney waited for the next elevator. When that one came, they
dashed on alone. Mitch hit the button to floor six and pushed Door Close before
the next group of kids came along, saying, “Come on, close, close already,
hurry,” as he heard a bunch of kids in the hallway.

As
the doors closed shut, Mitch and Courtney heard outside, “Damn, we missed it.”

He
reached for her, as he always did. She moved toward him and placed her hands in
his front jeans pockets. He kissed her neck and she toyed with his jeans. He groaned,
“God Courtney, I can’t get enough of you.”

“You
can have all of me.”

“Let’s
get back to your room,” he said.

“I
think we have to go to your room.”

“Damn.
Your room is so much nicer. It even smells better.”

“I
don’t know when Jenna’s coming back, and besides, we have to talk first.”

“Can
we talk second?” he asked. Now he was kissing the side of her ear, and she
grabbed at his butt, pulling him closer.

“Stop,”
she said.

“Stop
what?” he teased her more, kissing her neck.

“God,
how long does it take to get to our floor?”

“I
love these elevator trips,” Mitch said. The doors slid open and they moved
apart, not sure if anyone would be waiting to get on. JT, Todd, Bren and Angie
were there.

“Sooo,”
Angie smiled at them, “Where are you two coming from?”

Courtney
cleared her throat and felt her face burn red. “Dinner. We just had dinner.”

Todd
said, “I bet you did.”

“Yeah,
looks like it was tasty,” JT added.

They
got in the elevator as Mitch and Courtney exited, and then as the doors began
to close, Todd said, “Enjoy dessert!” And the whole group busted out laughing.

“Oh
God, I cannot deal with this,” Courtney said.

“They’re
a bunch of idiots. They know nothing about real relationships,” Mitch said.

Courtney
felt her heart thump a little faster at Mitch’s mention of theirs being a real
relationship.

“So,
my room?” he asked.

“Yeah,
let’s go talk. I’ve got something kind of serious to tell you.”

Finding
an apartment in a college town was going to be a lot harder than she thought.
Jenna had looked at three already and none of them were right. The problem was
they had all been previously rented by college students and well, typical college
students were slobs. Plain and simple. College students didn’t have the mindset
of an adult, they didn’t care about the place they were calling their home,
they didn’t care if the carpets were clean, if the toilets and showers came
stain-free, if the refrigerator had mold in it. She had seen her share of
disgusting and was ready to call it a day.

But
she was starving. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast, when she had grabbed a
bagel and a coffee on her way out of town, and now she was dying for some food.
She was sure that Courtney didn’t keep food in that box of a room she lived in,
and she didn’t know where she was going to find any real good food, so she got
in her car and headed back toward campus and stopped at the first place she
saw, Klippy’s. The outside said Food, Froth and Fun. She didn’t care about the
froth and the fun, but the food, she needed it and she needed it now.

When
she walked in, the smell of something wonderful hit her senses, and her stomach
growled in appreciation. The place looked kind of crowded and then she
remembered what it was like to be in college on a Thursday night – a big party
night, so she edged her way to the bar area and found an empty stool. Katy
Perry was playing, and even though it was early, a couple of girls were dancing
on a small dance floor in the corner. Jenna wondered if they were drunk
already, and even though she was more than exhausted, totally spent, and unsure
where her life was heading, the atmosphere of Klippy’s put her in a different
mind-set immediately. She felt like maybe she could be eighteen again.

She
settled herself up on the stool and the bartender at the other end of the bar
made eye contact with her. He was cute, she thought. She nodded to let him know
she was fine with waiting, then twirled around to watch the girls dancing and
to check out the crowd.

It
looked like an interesting mix of people – not too many fraternity and sorority
types, and it didn’t look like a crowd too much younger than she was. She liked
the fact that the servers wore clean bright pink T-shirts and jeans. Not bare-midriff,
bra-strap, stripper outfits. A couple of people she made eye contact with
smiled at her. This seemed like a really friendly place. She wondered if
Courtney ever came here. Probably not. She was too busy shacking up with that
boy of hers.

“What
can I get you?”

Jenna
turned her attention back to the bar. She liked how even the bar stools
swiveled. It was kitschy. The cute bartender smiled at her while he wiped dry a
glass.

“Oh
hey. Can I get a menu? And a Blue Moon? With an orange?”

“A
whole orange?”

Jenna
felt the sides of her mouth turn up. A genuine smile.

“No,
just a slice, or a wedge, or whatever.”

“A
Blue Moon, with an orange whatever coming up. And a menu,” he said.

Jenna
laughed. Florence and the Machine’s
Dog Days Are Over
played loud
through the bar.

“God,
I hope my dog days are over,” Jenna said.

“You
having a bad day?” the bartender asked, sliding the ice cold beer to her. It
was on tap, another reason she was going to love this place.

“Try
a bad half year,” Jenna said.

“Well,
you do know that bartenders are way cheaper than therapists, plus we work late,
and don’t charge by the hour. I’m Clay.” He reached his hand out to her and she
took it. It was slightly damp and strong, and he kept it in hers a beat longer
than necessary.

“Hi
Clay, thanks for the laughs already,” Jenna smiled.

“You
a student here?”

“Oh
my gosh, you’re making me feel so good. No, I’m a little bit older than that. But
I might take some master's classes. My sister goes here though. I’m visiting.”

She
realized she was rambling, and took a long, cool sip of her beer. “Well
actually, I
think
I just moved here. Today, in fact. I’m looking for a
place to stay, and a part-time job. I need to be near my sister. Family stuff.
Hence, the bad half a year.”

Good
God, who says ‘hence,’
she thought.

“Gotcha.
Told you we bartenders are therapists. You would have had to pay me fifty bucks
by now, and all you owe me is for the beer, and if you want to eat something.”

“Oh
yeah, let me see. I didn’t even look at the menu yet.”

“Take
your time uh… ”

“Jenna.
I’m Jenna.”

“Nice
to meet you, Jenna.”

“Thanks,
Clay.”

“I've
got to see how the other end of the bar is doing, but I’ll be back to check on
you. Welcome to Klippy's.”

“Or
do you mean, ‘Welcome to therapy?’” Jenna laughed.

“Whatever
you want to call it,” Clay called out as he made his way toward the end of the
bar, winking at her.

Courtney
settled herself onto Mitch’s bed and he went to his mini-fridge and grabbed two
beers. By now he knew she liked hers in a glass with a thin slice of lime
squeezed into it. He poured hers into a chilled mug, and plopped in a piece of pre-sliced
lime. He grabbed his beer, still in the bottle, and sat next to her.

“So,
what’s so serious we couldn’t talk around a bunch of idiots down at the
cafeteria?”

“It’s
about my mom.”

He
licked his lips, placed his beer on the ledge behind his bed. “You okay? You
don’t ever really talk about her.”

“No,
I mean, yes, I’m okay. It’s been hard. It’s just really Jenna and me now. My
dad, well, we see him every now and then, we’ll visit him in Chicago once or
twice a year, but… ” Courtney swallowed hard, trying to push the tears away.
She didn’t want to cry. She had never cried in front of Mitch. She didn’t want
to be that vulnerable girl in front of him. That wasn’t her. It never had been
her. She didn’t want to start now. She pushed those feelings down, tried to wash
them away with a sip of her beer.

But
she couldn’t help it and the tears came anyway. She didn’t know how she was
going to explain everything to Mitch, about the disease, about how she was
really scared about the future, about how much she already cared about him. So
she let the tears fall, unable to say anything.