What to Expect the First Year (53 page)

The truth is that while every baby is born tiny and cute, each develops differently—at a pace that seems less influenced by nurture than hardwired by nature. Every little one comes programmed with a timetable of development that specifies the arrival of many important skills and achievements. And while parents can definitely nurture along the schedule that nature has already set (or hold baby back from meeting those milestones by withholding nurture), many of the spaces in that developmental baby book were filled out before your baby was even born.

Infant development is usually divided into four areas:

Social.
Babies arrive a little lump-like—but happily, they don't stay that way for long. By 6 weeks, most babies express their first truly social skill: smiling. But even before that, they're priming for a life of engagement and interaction with other humans (starting with mommy and daddy)—making eye contact, studying faces, and tuning in to voices. Some babies are more socially outgoing from the start, while others are naturally more serious and reserved—personality traits that come courtesy of their genes. Even so, the more social stimulation a baby receives, the faster those social skills will develop. A major delay in social development that goes beyond individual differences in personality could indicate a problem with vision or hearing, or another developmental issue that may need some watching. It could also be a product of baby's environment—maybe because he or she isn't getting enough eye contact or smiles or conversation or close cuddling that's needed to develop socially.

Language.
A little one who's working a large vocabulary at an early age or who speaks in phrases and sentences way before his or her baby peers is probably going to have a way with words. But the tot who relies on pointing to make a point or grunts to make a request well into the second year may catch up and do just as well or even better later on. Since receptive language development (how well baby understands what is said) is a better gauge of progress than expressive language development (how well baby actually speaks), the little one who says little but understands much isn't likely to be experiencing a developmental delay. Again, very slow development in this area occasionally indicates a vision or hearing problem and should be evaluated.

Large motor development.
Some babies seem physically active (make that, perpetually in motion) from the first kicks in the womb. Once born, they keep packing a physical punch—holding their heads up at birth, crawling by 6 months, walking by 9 months. But many slow starters make quick strides later on, steadily catching up and even gaining on those early movers and shakers. Very slow starters, however, should be evaluated to be certain there are no physical or health obstacles to normal development (which early intervention can often overcome fast).

Small motor development.
Reaching for, grasping, and manipulating objects—everything your baby does with those adorable fingers and hands—is considered small motor development, but it's no small task. Coordinating those early movements between eyes and hand isn't easy for babies—which means your little one will eye that rattle long before he or she can grasp it with those tiny hands (and finally, figure out how to shake it). Early eye-hand coordination may predict your baby will be good with his or her hands—but a baby who takes longer to fine-tune fine motor development isn't necessarily going to be “all thumbs” later on.

What about your baby's smarts? Don't overthink it—or even give it a first thought—at this tender age. Most indicators of intellectual development (creativity, sense of humor, and problem-solving skills, for example) don't even come into play—or into your child's play—until at least the end of the first year. Think of them as intellectual gifts just waiting to be unwrapped. While DNA means your baby arrives hardwired with certain strengths, nurturing all sides of your little one means you'll be helping him or her reach (or exceed) that baked-in intellectual potential. And among the best ways to nurture your newborn's brain power are the simplest and most intuitive ways: making eye contact with your baby, talking and singing to your baby, and reading to your baby early (starting from birth) often (making it a treasured daily ritual right from the beginning).

Another thing to keep in mind while your baby's busy making milestones: The rate of development in different areas is usually pretty uneven. Just as some adults are social butterflies and others are physical busy bees, different babies have different strengths, too, and may zoom ahead in one area (smiling at 6 weeks or talking up a storm at a year) but lag behind in others (not reaching for a toy until 6 months or not walking until a year and a half).

Something else to remember: Babies tend to concentrate on learning one skill at a time, and while they're learning it, they're laser-focused on it—which often means that already mastered skills or skills they've been dabbling in will be temporarily shelved. A baby may be blasé about babbling when he's practicing pulling up. Or she
may be sidetracked from sitting when she becomes all-consumed with crawling. Once a skill is mastered, another moves to center stage—and your baby may even seem to forget the last skill while forging ahead on the next. Eventually, your little one will be able to integrate all those various skills—new, old, and yet to be conquered—and use each spontaneously and appropriately. Even then, some skills will be left behind—because, well, your baby has moved on.

No matter what your little one's rate of development ends up being—no matter how quickly those spaces in that baby book (or app) get filled out, and in what order—what is accomplished in the first year is nothing short of amazing. Never again will so much be learned so quickly.

With the emphasis on quickly—since the first year will be over a lot faster than you'd probably imagine right now. Keep an eye on your baby's development, but don't let watching that timetable (or the timetable of the baby down the block) keep you from enjoying the incredible days, weeks, months, and years of growing and developing that lie ahead. And don't forget, your baby is one of a kind. For a developmental timeline,
click here
.

Chances are there have been plenty of changes around your house in the last month—not counting all those diaper changes (too many to count anyway). Changes in your baby, who's steadily progressing from cute-but-unresponsive to active-and-alert, who's sleeping a little less and interacting a little more. And changes in you, as you evolve from fumbling rookie to semi-seasoned parenting pro. After all, just weeks into your new gig, you're probably an old hand at one-handed diapering, have burping (baby) down pat, and can latch that little mouth onto your breast in your sleep … and often do.

But while life with baby may be settling into a somewhat more predictable (though still exhausting) routine, there will be lots to keep you guessing (and making frequent calls to the doctor)—like crying spells, cradle cap, and diaper contents, to name a few. So the challenges of caring for a newborn continue—but happily, the perks of parenting are soon to be multiplied. This month you'll be getting a reward for all those sleepless nights and all that floor walking: your baby's first truly social smile!

Baby Basics at a Glance: Second Month

Sleeping.
Your baby is slowly starting to understand the difference between day and night, meaning more of those z's will be caught when it's dark outside. Still, baby will spend plenty of each day napping, and total sleep hours won't change much from last month. Expect baby to sleep 14 to 18 hours (in a 24-hour day), with about 8 to 9 hours at night and 7 to 9 hours during the day (in about 3 to 5 naps).

Eating.
It's an all liquid diet for your little one:

• Breast milk. Baby will nurse 8 to 12 times every 24-hour period, taking in a total of 12 to 36 ounces of breast milk. Feeding may start to spread out a little now—every 3 to 4 hours, though demand feeding is still the way to go, especially for the breastfed set.

• Formula. Baby will be drinking about 3 to 6 ounces of formula 6 to 8 times per 24 hours, for an approximate total of 18 to 32 ounces of formula. Want a better estimate? Multiply your baby's weight by 2.5. The answer will give you an idea of roughly how many ounces of formula to feed over a 24-hour period.

Playing.
Baby's starting to smile this month (yay!) and showing excitement when people are nearby. Mobiles and play gyms are still favorite toys for little ones, but you can also add small stuffed animals and rattles to the mix. Wrap baby's tiny fingers around the rattle and he or she will probably keep a tight grip on it—at least for a minute or so. Gently shake baby's hand so the rattle makes noise. Another new toy for baby this month: a baby-safe soft-framed mirror. Your little one will have no idea who he or she is looking at, but will be fascinated by that adorable face staring (and smiling) back nonetheless.

Sure, breastfeeding's ideal—the very best way to feed a baby. But as easy and practical as it can be, it does have its logistical limitations, the most significant one being that you can't breastfeed your baby unless you're with your baby. And that's where the bottle often comes in.

Thinking of skipping the bottle? Some exclusively breastfeeding moms do—ultimately saving themselves and their babies a step in the weaning process (arguably the toughest one: giving up the bottle). But skipping the bottle entirely relies on staying within arm's reach of your baby for all those first-year feeds—an organizational feat that many breastfeeding moms can't manage. Planning (or hoping) to be away from your baby during at least some feedings during the first year—whether for a 40-hour workweek or a 3-hour dinner date twice a month? Or just want to keep your options open, so you can have some feeding flexibility? Then plan on introducing a bottle, if you haven't already.

Breast milk.
Filling a bottle with expressed breast milk is usually uncomplicated (once you're a pumping pro) and allows you to feed your baby a breast-milk-only diet—even when your breasts and baby aren't in the same place at the same time.

Formula.
Supplementing with formula is obviously as easy as opening a bottle or a can—and many moms find they can successfully combine breastfeeding and formula feeding (there's even formula that's specially designed for supplementation). But offering formula too soon, before breastfeeding is well established (usually by around 6 weeks), can create problems with your milk supply, so it's best to hold off on supplemental formula until then, unless it's medically necessary. And some moms choose not to introduce formula at all, either because they're determined to breastfeed for a year or longer (studies show a link between formula supplementation and early weaning) or to try avoiding an allergy to cow's milk formula when there's a family history of allergies.