What to Expect the First Year (56 page)

• Back up your position. Slowly train your baby to be more comfortable sleeping on his back. If falling asleep in that position is tough for him, try rocking him to sleep before transferring him to the crib once he's asleep (on his back).

• Stick with it. Consistency almost always pays off when it comes to babies. Eventually, he'll probably get used to sleeping on his back.

Once your baby can roll over by himself, chances are he'll flip over into his preferred sleeping position even when you've put him down on his back, and that's okay (
click here
).

“My baby hates tummy time. How do I get him to like it?”

You can lead a baby to his tummy, but often, it's hard to make him happy on it. For a lot of little ones, tummy time can seem like torture time—particularly before they've developed the muscles they need to lift their heads out of that awkward face plant position. Still, just a few minutes of tummy play a few times a day will give your baby the opportunity to flex a different set of muscles than he'll work on his back—muscles he will eventually need in order to master a variety of skills, including sitting up. To make tummy time less torture and more fun, try these tricks (and don't forget, tummy time should always be closely supervised):

• Put him tummy down on your chest while you do your sit-ups. Add some funny faces and silly noises with each rep. Every so often, lift him, airplane style, and then return him for a belly touchdown.

• Lie on your bellies together, side by side or face-to-face, on a comfy surface—just make sure it's not so cushy that your baby can't push up easily. Then entertain him with a special toy or just coo at each other.

• Give him a lift—on a specially designed tummy time pillow or spinner. A tummy time mat can also keep things interesting.

• Add a mirror image. A baby-safe floor mirror will provide him with a distracting image of himself. Vary the position—in front of him, then to either side.

• Vary locations—and the view from his tummy. Try the family room for a minute or two in the morning, your bedroom in the afternoon.

• If he enjoys a good rubdown, try massaging him while he's on his belly. He may relax long enough to clock in some solid tummy time.

• Have someone else try tummy time with him—believe it or not, he may already be sensing too much performance pressure from you.

• If he won't take the belly bait, give him a belly break—and try again later. There's no good reason to force tummy time when he's screaming for release—and there's a very good reason not to (he'll only resist more the next time). A minute or two (or whatever his limit seems to be) is plenty to start, with the goal of gradually stretching each tummy time session by a few seconds until you've worked up to a solid 5 minutes.

• In between tummy time sessions, make sure he gets lots of other opportunities to work his muscles. Too many stints cooped up in a stroller, car seat, or bouncy seat can keep him from getting a move on.

“I've heard that massaging a baby is good for her, but I have no idea how to do it.”

Everybody craves a soothing rubdown every now and then, and most babies are no exception. A gentle massage not only feels good to newborns, it does their little bodies good, too. Of the five senses, touch is the one that's most developed at birth—and research suggests that stimulating the sense of touch through massage comes with enormous benefits.

What kinds of benefits? It's well known that preemies who are massaged regularly grow faster, sleep and breathe better, and are more alert. But massage also appears to help full-term babies thrive—possibly strengthening the immune system, improving muscle development, stimulating growth, easing colic, alleviating tummy troubles and teething pain, promoting better sleep patterns, stimulating the circulatory and respiratory systems, and decreasing stress hormones (yes, babies have those, too). And, just as cuddling does, massage boosts parent-baby bonding. Plus, massage isn't relaxing for just your baby—giving one can help you find your own inner zen, too (and who can argue with that?).

Here's how to rub your little one the right way:

Pick a time that's relaxing for you.
The massage won't have the soothing effect you're after if your cell is ringing, dinner's burning on the stove, and you have two loads of laundry going. Choose a time when you're unhurried and unlikely to be interrupted.

Pick a time that's relaxing for baby.
Don't massage baby when she's hungry (she won't enjoy the belly rubs if her belly's empty) or too full (she'll likely spit up). Right after a bath is a perfect time, when baby has already started to relax (unless bath time is a high stress time). Before playtime is another possibility, since babies have been shown to be more focused and attentive after a massage.

Set a relaxing scene.
The room you select for the massage should be quiet and warm, at least 75°F (since baby will be undressed except for a diaper). Dim the lights to reduce stimulation and enhance relaxation, and add soft music if you like. You can sit on the floor or bed and lay baby on your lap or between your open legs, using a towel, a blanket, or a pillow covered by a towel or blanket under her. While you work, talk or sing softly.

Lubricate, if you like.
Sure, you don't need oil to rub your little one the right way, but it'll be more enjoyable for both of you if your hands glide easily over your baby's body. Use a natural baby massage oil, or reach for straight-up coconut, canola, corn, olive, grape seed, apricot, avocado, or safflower oil. These oils are easily absorbed into a baby's skin—and easily digested when your little one sucks on her hands or fingers. Use only a dab, and stay away from baby oil or mineral oil—they clog the pores. And nix nut oils, too, because of the potential for allergies. Warm the oil or lotion a little between your hands before you start rubbing baby.

Experiment with techniques.
In general, babies prefer a gentle touch—but usually not so light that it's ticklish. As you work, always keep one hand on your baby. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Gently place both of your hands on either side of your baby's head and hold for a few seconds. Then stroke the sides of her face, continuing down the sides of her body to her toes.

• Make tiny circles on baby's head with your fingers. Smooth baby's forehead by gently pressing both hands from the center outward.

• Stroke baby's chest from the center outward.

• Stroke baby's tummy from top to bottom using the outer edge of one hand, then the other, in a circular motion. Then, let your fingers do the walking across your baby's tummy.

• Gently roll baby's arms and legs between your hands or use firmer, deep strokes to “milk” those sweet limbs. Open those curled-up hands and massage those little fingers.

• Rub baby's legs up and down, alternating hands. When you get down to the feet, massage them, uncurling and stroking baby's toes.

• Turn baby on his tummy, and stroke his back from side to side, then up and down.

Another smart tip from the infant massage playbook: Stroking away from the heart (from shoulder to wrist, for example) is relaxing, and therefore
better suited for pre-nap or pre-bedtime massages. Stroking toward the heart (from wrist to shoulder) is more stimulating and better suited for when your baby will be awake and active. You can also do a combo.

Take your cues from baby.
No one likes to be massaged when they're not in the mood, and that's true for babies as well. If baby turns away or cries when you lay your hands on, save the session for later. And remember, you don't have to give a full-body massage every time. If your baby decides enough's enough after you've rubbed only her legs and feet, that's okay, too.

“I wash my daughter's hair every day, but I still can't seem to get rid of the flakes on her scalp.”

There's definitely nothing cute about cradle cap—but happily, there's nothing permanent about it, either. Cradle cap, a seborrheic dermatitis of the scalp that's very common in young infants, usually begins in the first 3 months and may linger as long as a year (though more often, it runs its flaky course by 6 months)—but it doesn't predict a lifetime of dandruff. Mild cradle cap, in which greasy surface scales appear on the scalp, often responds well to a brisk massage with mineral oil or petroleum jelly to loosen the scales, followed by a thorough shampoo to remove them and the oil. There are also natural shampoos and treatments specially made for baby cradle cap—and different products work for different babies. That natural wonder product, breast milk, may also ease the flakes. Check with the doctor if your baby has a case that won't respond to any of these treatments (with heavy flaking and/or brownish patches and yellow crustiness), which may benefit from the daily use of an antiseborrheic shampoo that contains selenium or salicylic acid (there are some no-tear brands). Since cradle cap usually worsens when the scalp sweats, keeping it cool and dry may also help—so skip the hat unless it's sunny or cold out and then remove it when you're indoors or in a heated car.

Sometimes cradle cap goes away, then returns—in which case, bringing back the same treatment should bring back that downy, flake-free scalp. When cradle cap is severe, the seborrheic rash may spread to the face, neck, or buttocks. If this happens, the doctor will probably prescribe a topical cortisone cream or ointment.

“Our son's feet seem to fold inward. Will they straighten out on their own?”

Your little one's feet definitely wouldn't stand out in a crowd of newborns. Most babies appear bowlegged and pigeon-toed, and for good reason: One, the cramped quarters in the uterus often force one or both feet into odd positions, resulting in a rotational curve in the legs. When a baby emerges at birth, after spending several months folded up in that position, the feet are still bent or seem to turn inward. In the months ahead, as your baby's tootsies enjoy the freedom of life on the outside—and as he learns to pull up, crawl, and then walk—his feet will begin to straighten out.

The doctor has probably already checked your baby's feet to make sure all is well, but another check to ease your mind won't hurt—so ask at the next well-baby visit. Keep in mind, too, that it's routine for the doctor to keep an eye on the progress of a baby's feet
to make sure they straighten out as he grows—which yours almost certainly will without any treatment.

“My son was born with undescended testicles. The doctor said that they would probably drop down from his abdomen by the time he was a month or two old, but they haven't yet.”

The abdomen may seem a strange location for testicles, but it isn't. The testicles (or testes) in males and the ovaries in females both develop in the fetal abdomen from the same embryonic tissue. The ovaries, of course, stay put. The testes are scheduled to descend through the inguinal canals in the groin, into the scrotal sac at the base of the penis, somewhere around the eighth month of gestation. But in 3 to 4 percent of full-term boys and about one-third of those who are preterm, they don't make the trip before birth. The result: undescended testicles.

Because of the migratory habits of testicles, it's not always easy to determine that one hasn't descended. Normally, the testicles hang away from the body when they are in danger of overheating (protecting the sperm-producing mechanism from temperatures that are too high). But they slip back up into the body when they are chilled (protecting the sperm-producing mechanism from temperatures that are too low) or when they are handled (again protective, to avoid injury). In some boys the testes are particularly sensitive and spend a lot of time sheltered in the body. In most, the left testicle hangs lower than the right, possibly making the right seem undescended. For that reason, the diagnosis of undescended testicle or testicles is made only when one or both have never been observed to be in the scrotum, not even during a warm bath.

An undescended testicle causes no pain or difficulty with urinating, and as your doctor assured you, usually moves down on its own. By age 1, only 3 or 4 boys in a thousand still have undescended testicles, at which point surgery (a minor procedure) can easily put them in their proper place.

“My baby was circumcised, and my doctor says he's developed a penile adhesion. What does that mean?”

Whenever tissues of the body are cut, the edges will stick to the surrounding tissue as it heals. After the foreskin of the penis is removed during a circumcision, the circular edge remaining tends to stick to the penis as it heals. If a significant amount of foreskin remains after the circumcision, it, too, can stick to the penis during the healing process, causing the foreskin to reattach. This penile adhesion is not a problem as long as it's gently retracted periodically to prevent it from becoming permanently attached. Ask the doctor how you should do this or if it's really necessary to do at all. When boys, even baby boys, have erections (which they do all the time), the sticking skin surfaces are pulled, helping to keep them apart without any intervention.