What to Expect the First Year (90 page)

“My baby has started saying ‘ma-ma' a lot. We were all excited until someone told us that she's probably just making sounds without understanding their meaning. Is that true?”

Remember when that first wave of contentment washed across your little one's face, and your heart told you it was a smile meant just for you—even as your head told you it was “just gas”? Ultimately, it didn't matter—your baby was on her way to a lifetime of sweet smiles, by now something she's likely already made a significant down payment on. Same with her first “ma-ma” or “da-da.” It's hard to pinpoint just when a baby makes the transition from mimicking sounds without meaning (saying “ma-ma” because she's practicing her m's) to speaking meaningfully (saying “da-da” because she's calling her daddy). And ultimately, that distinction doesn't matter either at this point. The important thing is that your baby is vocalizing and attempting to imitate sounds she hears, and that means she's on her way to a lifetime of talking.

When the first real word is spoken varies a great deal in babies, and is, of course, subject to less-than-objective parental interpretation. According to the experts, the average baby can be expected to say what she means and mean what she says for the first time anywhere between 10 and 14 months. But before you let developmental data rain on your parade of parental pride, hear this: A small percentage of babies say their first meaningful word as early as 7 or 8 months. Other perfectly normal tots don't utter a single recognizable word until midway through their second year, at least as far as their parents can tell. Very active babies may be more focused on conquering motor skills than becoming a motormouth.

Of course, long before a baby speaks her first words, she will learn to understand words (aka receptive language). Your baby's receptive language development begins the moment you speak your first words to her (actually before, since she began hearing your voice in utero). Over time, she starts to sort out individual words from the jumble of language around her, and then one day, about the middle of the first year, you say her name and she turns around. She's recognized a word! Pretty soon after she should begin to understand the names of other people and objects she sees daily, such as mommy, daddy, bottle, cup, cracker. In a few months, or even earlier, she may begin to follow simple commands, such as “Give me a bite,” or “Wave bye-bye,” or “Kiss Mommy.” This comprehension moves ahead at a much faster pace than speech itself and is an important forerunner to it. You can nurture both receptive and spoken language development every day in many ways (
click here
).

“Some of my friends are using baby signs to communicate with their babies—and it seems to work. I'd like to try with my baby, but want to be sure it won't slow down his speech.”

Your baby may be a born communicator, but that doesn't mean you'll always understand what he's trying to say, especially in the first and second year, when communication (and comprehension) gaps between a little one and the parents who struggle to understand him can be pretty gaping. That's where “baby signs” step in.

Why sign up for baby signs? For one thing, signing lets your baby express his needs without needing words (words that are still beyond his ability to speak). Better communication leads to smoother interactions and fewer frustrations (for both of you)—but it also boosts baby's confidence as a communicator (“they get me!”), which spurs his motivation to keep communicating, first through signs, then through a mixture of signs and sounds, ultimately through words.

Will signing slow down speech? Research shows it doesn't—and in fact, for some babies signs can speed spoken language development, since it promotes interaction between parent and baby. Signing with your baby means you'll be spending more time talking with him, too—and there's no better way to help him learn to speak than speaking to him.

If you'd like to use baby signs, here's how:

• Sign on early. Begin using signs as soon as your baby shows an active interest in communicating with you—preferably by 8 or 9 months, though there's no harm in getting into the signing habit earlier, or even later. Most babies will start signing back somewhere between 10 and 14 months.

• Sign as needed. The most important signs to develop and learn will be the ones your baby needs to express his everyday needs, such as being hungry, thirsty, and sleepy.

• Sign what comes naturally. Develop a natural sign language that works for you and your baby. Any simple gesture that fits a word or phrase well can work: Flapping arms for “bird,” scratching under the arms for “monkey,” hands together and supporting a tilted head for “sleep,” a rubbed belly for “hungry,” a cupped hand placed up to the mouth for “drink,” a finger touched to the nose for “smell,” a palm facing up and then a curling in of the fingers for “more,” arms up for “up,” palm facing down and then lowering hand for “down,” and so on.

• Follow your baby's signs. Many babies invent their own signs. If yours does, always use the signs of his design, which are more meaningful to him.

• Sign him up. If you want to go more formal, sign you and your baby up for a class that covers it (many hospitals, community centers, and other organizations offer classes), or look for books or online resources that teach baby sign language, many of which
use the formal signs from American Sign Language (ASL).

• Sign consistently. By seeing the same signs over and over, your baby will come to understand them and imitate them more quickly.

• Speak and sign at the same time. To make sure your baby learns both the sign and the spoken word, use both together.

• Sign up the whole family. The more people in your baby's life who can speak his language, the happier he'll be. Siblings, grandparents, care providers, and anyone else who spends a lot of time with your baby should be familiar with at least the most important signs.

• Know when to sign off. Signing, like all forms of communication, should develop naturally and at a little one's own pace, without any pressure. If your baby seems frustrated by the signs, resists using them, or shows signs of sign overload, don't force the agenda. The idea is to reduce frustration for both of you, not add to it.

While signing can make life a little easier during the preverbal stage, it's definitely not necessary—either for your relationship with your baby or his language development. So sign on to baby signs if you're feeling it, but if you're not (or baby's not), don't feel compelled to keep it up. Communicate with your little one any way that works and feels comfortable to you both (inevitably, some nonverbal communication will make its way into the mix on baby's side, whether it's gestures like pointing or assorted grunts and squeals—all of which can be surprisingly effective). Eventually, the words will flow—and the communication gap will close.

“My baby has started to scoot around on her tummy but won't get on all fours. Is this considered crawling?”

Crawling styles vary—and since there are no “must-dos” when it comes to crawling, it doesn't really matter how your little rug rat is getting around. In fact, moving around on the belly, or creeping, is usually a precursor to hands and knees mobility (aka crawling)—though some babies stick to creeping and never get up on all fours at all.

Some babies start crawling (or creeping or scooting) as early as 6 or 7 months (especially if they've spent plenty of supervised playtime on their bellies), but most don't get their crawl on until closer to 9 months or later. More babies are crawling later these days (because of less time spent on their tummies). Late crawling (or no crawling at all; see next question) is not cause for concern as long as other important developmental milestones are being reached (such as sitting—a skill babies must master before they can tackle crawling). Many begin crawling backward or sideways, and don't get the hang of going forward for weeks. Some scoot on one knee or on their bottom, and others travel on hands and feet, a stage that many babies reach just before walking. The method a baby chooses to get from one point to another is much less important than the fact that she's making an effort to get around on her own. (If, however, she does not seem to be using both sides of her body—arms and legs—equally, check with her doctor.)

Different Ways of Crawling

For a baby eager and determined to get from one place to another, function definitely trumps form. As long as your baby is attempting to get around on her own, it doesn't matter how.