Whatever It Takes (2 page)

Practice is long and tough, as usual.
but e
very second is welcomed. This is my chance to get away from everything.  Practice allows me to sneak away from life and simply enjoy the sound of air rushing pass me, though I think of Emily constantly.

I'm
wishing for sleep as I sit in my class. The professor has one of those monotone voices that makes people sleepy as his voice  drones on and on. Whoever thought that morning classes were a good idea was dead wrong. I rub my eyes and try to focus. I take notes and wish it was time for my next class.

I haven't decided on a major yet, because my mind is always on hockey. I am going to make it in the NHL. I will. Drake would be so proud to have a brother in the NHL. I was not prepared for how much I would miss my always hyper and excited little brother. He calls every night between work and practice to tell me about his day. I’m pretty sure he calls Emily as well.

Classes pass in a blur as I yearn for sleep. I grab a bite from Hardee’s before going home after practice. I walk through the house with sleepy eyes. Sitting down at the island, I eat before heading to the shower. Savoring the feeling of the water running down my body, the heat and steam from the water unties the knots in my body. The massage that Emily gave me comes to mind as I turn off the water and dry myself. Usually, I wouldn’t bother with pajama pants, but it’s chilly so I slip on a red pair and crawl into bed.

It’s so much easier to fall asleep when Emily is here with me, but she’s working. However, today I am exhausted and with the flick of a switch, I am gone into a deep sleep.

Around midnight, my eyes slowly open and I see Emily lying in front of me. Her back is to me and she’s laying in
the
fetal position. I was exhausted enough that I didn’t hear her come in. I frown at the thought that I haven’t even spoken with her today as I reach out and pull her to me. She rolls over and mumbles incoherently. I chuckle and kiss her forehead.

“
Wake up Sweetness,” I whisper.

“
No,” she half moans, half growls.

“
Please. I haven’t seen those brown eyes all day. I need my daily dose of Sweetness.”

That earns me a smile. I love being the reason for her smile. It feels as if I just accomplished one of the world's impossible feats and my heart beats faster each time. She sneaks a glance and I cradle her face in my hands. Still speaking in a soft tone, I say, “How was your day?”

“
It was okay. Actually, no, it was hard. A woman came in today with the cutest little baby on her hip and ordered something. I couldn’t help but think…” her voice trails off.

I go to speak, but she stops me. She inhales and says, “But the girls and Kyle made me feel better.”

“
You were with them today?”

“
Yeah. They stopped by the shop and I took my break to eat supper with them. How was your day?”

“
Good. I got some much needed sleep. I missed you, though.”

She gives me another smile. Her face turns serious and she bites her bottom lip. “Do you ever feel like you are missing something?”

“
What do you mean,” I ask.

“
I don’t know. It’s just that sometimes I feel like even though I have you, Drake, and my dad that something is still missing from my life. I can’t figure out what it is, though.”

I don’t
feel as
if I am
missing anything from my life. Between Emily, Drake, and hockey, I had everything I could ever want. I love Emily so much and she brings a lot to our relationship. What more could I ask for?

“
No, I don’t. I have you. What could I be missing?”

She bites her lip and burrows her face into the crook of my neck. Her eyes are giving my neck butterfly kisses as they flutter open before shutting again. Emily kisses
my neck
and whispers that she loves me.

“
I love you too, Sweetness.”

Soon, her breaths come in even intervals. I think about the past year and how amazing it is that Emily has come all this way.
But, wi
th the loss of the baby, I think she took a small step backwards. Those days of doubt come more often and last a bit longer.

I feel guilty when I realize that I haven’t thought about the baby in days. Emily must think about it every day. I can gaze into her eyes and know that she has. I was sad for our baby, but there is just so much going on that sometimes I
don’t
think about it. I mentally curse myself for calling my child “it.” All these thoughts swirl in
my head so
it’s four in the morning before I fall asleep.

I have to wake up at five thirty.

The smell of bacon and eggs drifts up my nose and
a
rouse
s
me awake. Glancing beside me, I see that Emily is missing from our bed. I get up and walk to the kitchen. There my Sweetness is, standing before the stove. Bacon is sizzling in the skillet and Emily’s hips are swinging to a tune she is quietly humming. I walk over and wrap my arms around her waist.

“
I wanted to see you before you left,” she answers the unspoken question.

I kiss her neck and tell her, “Forget breakfast. Come back to bed with me.” She leans back into me and my lips move down her neck to her shoulder.

“
You realize it’s not even six, right?”

“
Yeah.”

She leans forward, turns the burner off and I lead Emily back to our bed. I lift her shirt over her head and let my hands roam over the body that I know so well. I brush my lips over her jaw. Emily leans back on the bed and pulls
me down with her. Her hands move over my shoulders and down my back. Her
slightly
sharp nails are trailing a path to my hips.

I quickly finish undressing us both. All too soon, the bacon is cold and it's time for me to go.

Practice is great. I’m energized and focused. My classes fly by and the second practice is even better than the first.

“
Good job today Benson,” Coach tells me with a pat on the back.

“
Thanks Coach.”

I wish I could go home, but the job calls. I work with a construction supply store getting the supplies and loading them up for the clients. Th
e job is
pretty good though. Good p
ay and nice
people to work with. Today, we were going to go out to one of the local bars that that didn't card us
and have
a few beers after work.

I was relaxed and leaned back in the booth, drinking a beer. The guys all  had girls in their laps and were joking around. My eyes widen slightly when I see Emily walk into the bar. She is with classmates that she met  through one of her classes. Emily hasn’t noticed me yet so I observe her for a few minutes.

Leaning on the counter towards the bartender, she throws him a smile, and orders.

Excusing myself, I walk up behind Emily, wrap my arms around her and kiss her neck. She turns around in my arms and smiles at me.

“
You just getting here?”

“
No, I’ve been here for a bit.”

“
Why are you just now coming to me?”

“
I was watching you.”

She rolls her eyes and turns to Kyle. She formally introduces me to her friends. “Kyle, this is my boyfriend Jake. Jake, this is Kyle. He’s Hannah’s best friend.” She turns towards the girls.  “This is Hannah and Abella,. Girls, this is Jake.”

I shake each of their hands and then pull Emily close to me with her back against my chest. “Nice to meet you,” I tell them. I can’t help but notice how good Emily looks. While she talks with her friends, I adorn her neck with hot kisses.  Sweetness giggles and tells me to stop. She turns in my arms and wraps her arms around my neck.

“
Let’s go home,” she says, her eyes burning with desire.

3

Emily

I say goodbye to my friends and follow Jake home. We quickly head to our bedroom and Jake takes a condom from the nightstand drawer. His phone rings, but he ignores it. My fingertips run over his torso slowly. I enjoy the feel of his bare body as my fingers glide over it. Jake slips my shirt over my head and leans down to kiss me. His lips trail a path all over my body.

A moan easily slips through my lips as I feel Jake enter me. To feel the length of his body on me was delectable. Unlike this morning, there wasn’t an urgency. Our bodies move as if we have forever. Later, we are both exhausted. I snuggle up to Jake and promptly  fall asleep.

I cradled my baby boy in my arms. He was adorable and had
many of Jake’s features. I was so happy that I was finally able to meet him. We waited what seemed like forever for the birth of our baby boy. Jake gazed at the baby with love in his eyes. “Do you want to hold him,” I asked.

Jake nodded and held out his arms. I rested the baby in Jake’s arms. I’m taken away by the sight before me. My two loves are standing in front of me and my heart swells at how wonderful this is. Jake looked up at me and an evil grin consumed his face. Terror swept through me like a tsunami. The skin melted off his face leaving a skeleton. A black cloak appeared over him. It’s as if my love has transformed into a grim reaper with all the accessories as well.

I’m too scared to speak. “You don’t deserve this baby. You are the reason I am taking him away. He is going to a better place now. Say goodbye to your child for he is about to die.”

I bolt upright drenched in sweat. I look over at Jake who is sleeping peacefully. I lay back down but there is no way I can get back to sleep. This is a great way to start my birthday. Why are these nightmares still haunting me? This one is different though. This is the first time that Jake was the one who took my baby from me.

Why Jake? It makes me think that he blames me, even if it’s just a little bit. I look over at Jake and wonder how he truly feels. We haven’t really talked about it since that night I came to my senses and realized he was hurting too. My heart is still racing and I can feel the pounding in my head. Jake looks so peaceful.

I don’t want to tell him about the nightmares. I know he worries about me already and I don’t want to add to that. Tossing the sheets off of me, I silently leave the bedroom. I walk into the kitchen and feel relieved when I find my favorite ice cream in the freezer. I take out the pint and grab a spoon. In the middle of the couch I sit and eat my ice cream in the dark. The bones of my fingers are chilled but my mind isn’t recognizing the effect.

All I can see is Jake’s skinless skull and empty eye sockets staring at me. He’s holding my baby and blood is dripping on the floor. I see my baby boy open his eye lids but there aren’t any eyes behind them. They are hollow and it is a terrifying sight. Eyeballs begin to form but they were just a pearly white. Thick blood begins to seep out of his eyes as if he were crying. My baby boy’s mouth opens and in a raspy voice he says, “Why did you kill me?“