Whatever It Takes (10 page)

He smiled and motioned for the waiter to bring us the check before I could ask him why he’d ask me that. 

Our drive back to Gavin’s apartment was nothing out of the ordinary when we started out.  But when we were beyond the traffic of the city and on the stretch of highway leading back, Gavin took me a bit by surprise by lifting our joined hands from my lap and placing my hand on his right thigh.

“Keep it there,” he told me with an authoritative tone.

He moved his hand back over to my lap and brushed the hem of my skirt up so that more of my thigh was exposed.  He placed his hand on the naked flesh of my leg and made his little thumb circles.  This was different but enjoyable just the same.

After a mile or so more he gave me another command, the same air of authority in his voice.

“Spread your legs apart a little further.”

It wasn’t upsetting and his orders weren’t making me angry but they were unsettling.  It was so un-Gavin like to speak without even a hint of courtesy.  It was making me a little edgy but I did as he asked.

His hand moved from the top of my thigh to the inside of it, his four fingers squeezing between my leg and the leather seat while his thumb continued moving across my skin.  The movements were slow and sensual.  A warmth started from where he was touching me and spread throughout my entire body.  His hand inched just a bit higher and my breathing hitched, an ache becoming heavy just north of where his hand was.  I leaned my head back on the headrest and hummed in appreciation of his touch.

“You like that, baby?” he asked me, his eyes never leaving the road. 

“Mm hmm,” I hummed some more. 

He continued to touch me like that until I was practically panting with need and the ache between my legs was unbearable.  Needing some sort of friction I moved my hand from his lap and grabbed his wrist, trying to move his hand to where I needed it to be.  He removed his hand from my grasp immediately.

“No.”  His voice was hard and firm and startling.  My eyes flew open and he turned away from the road for a moment to meet them.  He took my hand and placed it back on his leg, gently though, in contrast to his voice.  “Leave your hand on my leg, Emma.”

I was just about to ask him what the fuck was up when his eyes crinkled in the tiniest bit of a smile.  It dawned on me then.  This is what he meant when he asked if I trusted him at
La Uve
.  He was taking the lead and seeing if I could handle it.  Seeing if I could give up the control and get turned on at the same time.  So far it was working. 

I closed my eyes and leaned back on the seat once again, letting him know I was understanding him.  I waited patiently, breathing deeply until he put his hand back where it previously was.

His hand never moved any further up though and by the time he parked his car in the garage of his apartment building I was almost squirming out of my skin.  I had taken to kneading his thigh with my hand in frustration.  He only said I had to keep my hand in his lap, he didn’t say anything about it keeping still, after all. 

The ride in the elevator up to his floor took ages.  I felt like a bitch in heat, I was so turned on.  Gavin didn’t make it any easier.  When the doors closed he pulled me to stand so that my back was pressed against his front.  He held my hands tightly at my sides while he sucked the skin where my shoulder and neck met.  Thank God we were alone, though I don’t know I would have cared if we weren’t.

The second we were inside his place, he turned on me like a wild man.  He slammed me against the closed front door and ravaged my mouth with his own.  He took both my hands and, threading our fingers together, raised them above my head pressing them into the door behind me.  His mouth moved across my cheek, down my neck and over my cleavage, kissing, licking, biting, and sucking.  This was so new and so fucking hot.

Gavin was in total control and I didn’t care. 

He kept me pressed between himself and the door and continued to work me up like he’d never done before.  He moved my wrists so that they were both clasped in one of his and his other hand moved down my body to between my legs.  He stroked me through the damp silk covering me and I swear, my moan could be heard for miles.  He’d never touched me like this.  Gavin was usually sexy but gentle.  There was nothing gentle about this now.  This was raw, animalistic, primal desire and I was loving every second of it.  My body was already reaching places that I could normally go only when I was in charge and I had a feeling Gavin was nowhere near done yet. 

I wasn’t even aware I was being carried into the bedroom until I was lying on my back on Gavin’s bed.  It took him only a moment to strip himself naked and then he was back on me, ravaging my body with his mouth as he undressed me with his hands. 

I was pulled so that my bottom was at the edge of the bed, my feet dangling to the floor.  When Gavin sank to his knees and I knew what was about to happen my body shook in anticipation.  He grabbed my wrists once again and pinned them down on either side of my hips.  He placed one biting kiss to the inside of my thigh and then licked the length between my legs. 

I called out his name.

His tongue circled me.

I struggled against his hands.

He pinned my wrists harder and growled.

I moved my hips against him and he sucked me into his mouth.

And I came.

And came.

And came.

What I did and what I screamed I have no idea, but my orgasm rocked through me like never before.

Gavin waited patiently for me to come down, gently kissing me, his hands stroking my wrists, letting the blood return to them. 

When I was sated, he kissed his way up my body and pulled us so that we were in the middle of the bed.

“That.  Was.  Incredible.”  I could barely get the words out for trying to catch my breath. 

Gavin took one of my nipples between his teeth and murmured around the bud.  “I’m not done yet.”

My hands free to do as they please, I brought them both to his hair, running my fingers through the silky strands as he continued his assault on my breasts.  He moved back and forth between the two paying equal attention to them with his mouth and fingers, alternating between biting and licking; pulling, and rolling.  It didn’t take long for the tingling ache to return. 

I tried in vain to rub my legs together but was given no respite.  I couldn’t move them with Gavin’s weight pressing into me.  So I moaned and gasped trying to achieve vocally what I couldn’t physically.

“Gavin, please?” I begged.  Another orgasm was building slowly and I was dying for another release.

“Please what, baby?” he asked, his mouth never leaving my body.

“Please,” I repeated, the word a prayer on my lips.

“Tell me,”  he commanded.  “Tell me what you want.”

“Fuck me,” I whimpered.  “Fuck me, Gavin.  Please.”

That was all he needed to hear.

He shifted so that we were aligned in all the right places and again, he locked my hands above my head.  His eyes bore holes into mine as he thrusted into me, making that sexy little growl he makes.  He started out by sliding in and out slowly and deliciously until I moved my own hips urging him to go faster. 

“Leave your hands above your head,” he ordered and leaned back onto his knees, keeping himself inside me by holding my hips tightly to him. 

He moved differently now, not in and out but circling his hips while he stayed firmly inside all the way to the base of his cock. 

“God, Gavin,” I panted.  “So good.”

I moved my hips in sync with him this time, my fingers fisting in the pillows beneath my head.  I was insane.  I was crazy.  I was completely out of control and I didn’t give a fuck.  When he moved his hand to stroke my clit my moans came out in quick successions.

“Come on, baby.  Give me another one,” Gavin demanded and that was my undoing.  I came again as violently as the first time.

A few more movements and Gavin was coming with me, my name and a few expletives leaving his lips.  And then I was gathered in his arms, both of our hearts drumming wildly, our lungs gasping for air. 

My body was still quaking slightly with the aftershocks of my two intense as hell orgasms, and Gavin just held me to him, his fingers in my hair firmly massaging my scalp.  The enormity of what just happened finally hit me and the tears came.  I fucking hated and didn’t understand that shit, when girls said they cried after sex, but I could do nothing to stop it.  Gavin didn’t care though.  He didn’t ask me what the problem was, for he knew there wasn’t one.  He didn’t tell me not to cry or ask if I was was okay or wonder if he had done something wrong. He wasn’t that insecure.  He understood me and just let me be emotional through silent tears until I stopped on my own. 

When I was sure the tears were finished I lifted my head to look at him.  He gave me his lopsided grin.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” I replied.

“That was...” he started.

“There are no words,” I finished.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Will you marry me, Emma?”

9

Present Day

I set my belongings down in my little office on the third floor of the university library, knocking over a picture of Gavin and me in the process.  It was one that Yvonne had taken the night of our first anniversary as a couple, the night Gavin had asked me to marry him.  It wasn’t the one of us posing, both smiling at the camera, but one that she took after we thought she was done.  Gavin was leading me towards the front door of my apartment.  We were apart from each other, arms stretched and hands joined between us, and our faces were smiling brightly at one another.  This candid shot was my absolute favorite of us.  There had never been another photo of us that I thought came close to showing the happiness we felt with each other, including one from our wedding album.  And we weren’t even engaged when that picture had been taken. 

I thought back to when Gavin had proposed to me that night, after the amazing sex we had.  I had thought it was a spur of the moment thing on his behalf, caught up in the heat of the moment as it were, but no.  After he asked he reached into his bedside table drawer and pulled out a ring.  He placed it on my finger and I said yes.  We cried, had more sex, and stayed awake making plans for our future; where we would live, how many kids we’d have, and how happy we’d be.  In the five years since our marriage we’d managed to make most of those dreams come true and the ones we hadn’t yet, like children, were planned for in the near future. 

Well, they had been. 

We had decided that we would wait until we were financially secure and had our perfect home before bringing babies into the world.  It was something that was not up for discussion for me, what with my upbringing but Gavin didn’t disagree whatsoever.  He too wanted our children to be brought into a stable and loving home.  Something I didn’t think we had anymore.

It had been two weeks since Gavin had spilled his little secret and we were what I guess you’d call at an impasse.  I still wasn’t sure where we stood.  We were both miserable, just existing in the same household, barely speaking to one another.  Gavin tried to be as normal as possible but I wouldn’t allow it.  I’d only speak to him if absolutely necessary and that usually included one word answers to his questions.  Our bed remained unslept in, me continuing to crash in the spare room, Gavin on the couch.  That is when either of us slept at all.  In five years we’d hardly been apart for more than a day at all and it wasn’t easy on either of us to sleep apart. 

So many times over the last fourteen days I wanted to go to him and bring us both to our bed together.  But then I’d close my eyes and see him and Lisa together and the nausea would replace the longing I had for him. 

My cell phone chirped with a text message alert and I knew without looking that it would be from Gavin.  He always texted me at least once throughout the day but since you-know-what he’d been doing it several times a day.  I glanced at the screen.

Have a good day.  I love you.

I ignored him just like I did every other time he texted and put my phone away, wishing the library were busier so I could keep myself occupied.

I hadn’t planned on making a career out of working at the university library when I took the job part time my sophomore year here.  I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and I randomly chose English as my major in college.  It was at the start of my senior year when I had really started to panic about not knowing what kind of career I wanted when Gavin pointed out how much I loved my job at the library and should just continue with it.  I really did love it there.  Libraries were full of answers and orderly and everything that made an OCD girl like me thrive.  Why couldn’t I make a career as a university librarian?  So I made my intentions of this being long term to my supervisor and took some extra classes to minor in computer science.  After graduation I went on to get my master’s and have been here ever since.  I was now an assistant English specialist in the library, helping undergraduates and graduate students find what they needed.  My pay wasn’t that great but I loved what I did and was hoping to become a senior specialist soon.