When I Look to the Sky (19 page)

Geni Davis listened
. She liked the passion and vibrancy of this young woman. She watched Matthew out of the corner of her eye as Carlee spoke, and liked what she saw.

Matthew drove Carlee home two days later. He was staying with her and Andy for a few days while she continued packing. Andy rented a van and he and Matthew loaded Carlee’s things to take to school. The night before she left, there was a family get-together at Nanny and Pops’. Matthew met Carlee’s family as they celebrated Jenna’s upcoming marriage and Carlee going off to school.

Saturday morning
, Andy followed Carlee and Matthew to the college. She was staying in an all-girl’s dorm, but it was open that day to allow men in to help with unloading and set up. Andy booked a room near the dorms for him and Matthew for the night. They got Carlee settled in and left her for a while to go to the hotel to shower.

They returned later to meet her
, and the three of them walked through old St. Augustine that evening. Matthew wanted Andy to meet his parents, and they met Tom and Geni Davis at a Spanish restaurant for dinner. The group shared an evening, getting to know each other, before Matthew’s parents headed home.

Carlee stayed in the dorm that night with her new roommates, Marissa, Sara, and Angie; they hit it off well, and talked late into the night, getting to know each other. She liked them all, but there was an immediate connection with Marissa, a comfort zone, something special she didn’t feel with the other girls.

Andy and Matthew met Carlee for breakfast the next morning. Afterward, Andy headed south. Matthew returned to Jacksonville to spend a few days with his family. He
’d be stateside through Labor Day, picking Carlee up Friday morning after her class, to go south for the wedding weekend. He wouldn’t have missed any opportunity to be with her.

Carlee’s class on Friday morning was over at 9:45. She was packed and ready to make the trip south when Matthew arrived. They loaded her things in the car, but before they began their drive, Carlee leaned across the console for a kiss.

“
I have to sneak in as many of those as I can,” she laughed. “Unfortunately, there will be a limited supply for a while.”

“
You can have as many as you want,” Matthew smiled, and leaned over for one more.

That
evening, her family all gathered at Kimmy’s house to celebrate the wedding. Matthew loved being there.

On Saturday, at the ceremony, Matthew and Andy sat together. At Jenna and Maxx’s request, everyone dressed casually in tropical prints. Matthew watched as Carlee passed by them. She looked beautiful in the yellow sundress she wore. Her hair was up, little wild pieces escaping from the mass of curls, and she sparkled from some kind of glitter they had dusted themselves with. Matthew noticed a tear in Andy’s eye as she walked by, headed to the gazebo.

Surely, this is the same gazebo
where he married her mama,
Matthew thought. He watched as she took her place in the gazebo. She stood holding the simple bunch of daisies Jenna let her choose to carry. Carlee loved the simple bouquet Matthew had given her in London, so she chose them for this simple ceremony. Carlee, Jenna and Kimmy had gone that morning for pedicures and had flowers painted on their toes. Carlee and Jenna were barefoot for the ceremony.

Jenna looked like an angel as she made her way to Maxx
, on her dad’s arm. She wore a simple, but beautiful, white-lace sun-dress. Tall and blonde like Kimmy, she glowed. Kimmy cried, but it was a happy cry. Jenna and Maxx had been together since high school, and lived together since their second year of college. It was beautiful when they finally said ‘I do.’

The party afterward was a big family affair; lots of food, lots of laughter, and Matthew was happy to be included. It made him dread heading back to London.

Later in the afternoon, Carlee came to him and whispered in his ear as she hugged him; “I have someplace I need to go.”

“
OK,” he replied.

“
I’ll be right back.” She made the rounds with her family, ending with Andy.

“
We’ll see you at home in a little while,” she whispered in Andy’s ear as she kissed his cheek. He knew where she was going. He’d been there earlier that morning.

In the car, Carlee put the top down and they drove away. She was quiet for a minute. Matthew could see the wheels in her head turning. He decided to break the ice, “You look so beautiful, all sparkly…” he chuckled.

“
Thank you. That dusty, sparkly stuff was Jenna’s idea. Some kind of ‘Pixie Dust’,” she laughed.

She was quiet a moment, then turned to Matthew and said;
“I hope you don’t mind where I am taking you. It’s just someplace I really need to go.”

“
I don’t mind anything Carlee, I’m with you; we can go anywhere.” His hand, on her shoulder, made its way to her neck and lightly caressed soft skin.

Pulling
into the Memorial Gardens, she drove back the road, parked, and grabbed a pair of flip-flops from behind her seat. She got out of the car and Matthew followed. She walked down to Beth’s grave. It was warm, and the sun was setting. She stood looking out at the river as Matthew took in his surroundings. This was a personal moment and he knew it was special for him to be there. He gave her a minute, and then reached for her hand.

The flowers on the grave were fresh. She looked at Matthew and said,
“Sometimes he brings them, sometimes they’re delivered, but they are always here.” Tears rolled down her cheeks as she spoke. “I knew he came this morning, I heard him leave early. Anytime there’s an event of some kind he comes.”

Matthew didn
’t say anything. He just held her hand and let her talk. “I keep thinking that someday it won’t hurt so badly, but so far ‘someday’ hasn’t come. Sometimes I come here and sit on the ground and look out at the river. It’s kind of peaceful, this view I mean, and them, they are almost always here,” she smiled and pointed to a family of sandhill cranes off to their left.

“
Sometimes I talk… I hate that I don’t have the opportunity to share what’s going on in my life with her.” She continued as she looked at him and smiled, “And sometimes when no one is around, I yell, because I’m angry that she died. Most times I just cry,” she said and looked away. “Today I just needed to share Jenna’s big day with her. And you,” she said, still not looking at him.

She turned to him.
“Let’s go,” she said. But he wrapped her in his arms and held her, as she cried.

Matthew drove her car as they returned to the house. It was a quiet drive. He could tell Carlee was trying to regroup. After a while he told her, “Carlee, I read the book.”

“
You did?” Surprised, she looked at him.

“
I had to,” he replied and glanced her way. “Needed to… I wanted to know about you, and I guess I figured I needed to know your mama, to do that.”

Carlee started to cry again,
and at that moment Matthew knew, without question, that he was in love with her.

CHAPTER TWELVE ~ ANOTHER Chapter

Back at school, both Matthew and Carlee rolled into their routines.
 They continued their daily talks and used the video chat on their computers to visit. Carlee’s phone had a video application, but Matthew’s didn’t, so she sent him a surprise. 

“
Hey there!” he said when he called her. “I got a special delivery today!”

“
Well get the dang thing set up and use it, please,” she laughed. “I think I can’t get enough of you!”

Carlee kept busy with school. She and Marissa developed a great kinship. The two of them spent a lot of time together, going for coffee, or to the library to study. And, Andy couldn’t stay away from Carlee for long. He went to St. Augustine often, going occasionally to stay overnight to take her out for meals, or shopping, tours of the old city. And sometimes he would drive up and take her and Marissa to dinner and drive back home the same evening. He missed Carlee, and he liked Marissa.

Geni took Carlee up on her offer to come to St. Augustine. She
drove down on a Saturday and the two of them had lunch, shopped, talked, laughed, and began to build a wonderful relationship. Carlee enjoyed Geni’s company, and Geni was happy for ‘girl time.’ She’d been with boys the last thirty years. Angela and Malia, and then Percy and Megs were a welcome change when they came along, but she was enjoying getting to know Carlee. She was a breath of fresh air. Carlee proudly showed Geni around her favorite places. It wouldn’t have mattered if Geni had been there a million times, seeing and sharing it through Carlee’s eyes made it all a new experience. 

Matthew went to his photography advisor, Dan Patrick, soon after he returned to London. He was on a mission, and wanted to share his idea. “I’d like to take these pictures and make them into a book.” They looked through the pictures on Matthew’s computer.

“
These are good, Matthew,” his instructor paged through them again, “really, really good. Tell me more about the experience so I can wrap my head around what you want to do.”

They went for coffee and Matthew told him about Beth, about the camp, about the kids, about Carlee. He told him about Carlee
’s passion for the camp, but Dan Patrick could see all of that through the pictures. Those were the kind of pictures Matthew captured. No words were really necessary.
He’s a damn good photographer,
Dan thought as he looked and listened.

“
My ideal scenario would be to sell enough of the books to afford to give each family of the kids in the photographs a copy.” Matthew told him. 

“
Here’s what I think,” Dan told him, “you need to meet with a solicitor, find out what you need to do with the families to legally use the photos of their child. Become a collector of names. Get in touch with the families and tell them your idea. The solicitor will most likely advise a waiver of sorts. You may find some who won’t want to take part. You may need to work with the Cancer Foundation, as well. The solicitor can guide you on all that. Once you have that in place, I’d start working on a layout, captions for the photos. Actually, you should start that now, while they are still somewhat fresh in your mind,” he continued. “I like this idea, Matthew. I like it a lot.” 

He decided not to tell Carlee
. He wanted to surprise her. He called Andy one evening, and as they talked, Matthew shared his idea with him. Andy was thrilled. He told him he loved the idea so much that he’d fund the project up front to help. His mom and dad told him the same thing. With his project underway, Matthew was in a hurry to make it happen.

Matthew was going home for Christmas, and he couldn’t wait. He was anxious to see Carlee, anxious to hold her, anxious for the feel of her, the smell of her… He would go to Carlee and Andy’s for the first few days. Then the three of them would go to Jacksonville, Carlee and Andy would stay two days, and Matthew couldn’t wait.

Carlee
was anxious to see him too. Her break began three days before his, and she was already home. He flew into Orlando, and she drove over to meet him. She parked in the waiting lot anxious for his call. He called when the plane landed and told her he’d exit from the baggage claim area.

“Just pull up to the curb,” he told her. As she did, she
saw him exit. Giddy, she jumped out of the car and into his arms when he emerged. They hugged and shared kisses, until finally a smiling security guard came along and told them they had to hurry on. They jumped in the car and Matthew drove away, and he and Carlee talked the whole drive to the house. When they arrived, Andy was there to meet them. 

“
It’s good to see you, Matt!” Andy said hugging him when they arrived.

“
You too,” he replied. “I can’t believe it’s been thirteen weeks!”

Not three months, thirteen weeks,
Andy thought, and smiled.

The three of them went out to eat, and later, Andy excused himself to allow them some time alone.

They
curled up on the sofa to watch TV. “Carlee,” Matthew whispered in her ear, “I’ve missed you so much. I’ve missed holding you,” he said as he wrapped her in his arms. “I’ve missed that smell that is uniquely you,” he said as he ran his fingers through her hair and nuzzled her neck, leaving a trail of kisses from her ear to her shoulder. “I can’t describe it. It smells like peppermint and heaven mixed together.” He leaned back to look at her, and smiled.

“
Rosemary,” she said with a sigh.

“
Who,” he laughed as he asked.

“
What, not ‘who’,” she said, pulling him back for another kiss. “Peppermint and rosemary, my shampoo…”

He pulled her closer and covered her mouth with his as his hands lightly caressed wherever they touched.

Later, Andy peeked in and found them, entwined in each other’s arms, sound asleep. He turned the TV off, and got a blanket to toss over them.

There was a Christmas and birthday celebration with Carlee’s family at Nanny and Pops’ the next evening. Carlee turned nineteen a few weeks earlier, but requested that they wait until Matthew was there to celebrate. Her family gathered, and she was excited to share Matthew with them. There were presents and a big cake, covered with pink roses.

“
They always do pink, but yellow’s my favorite color; it reminds me of sunshine!” she whispered in Matthew’s ear, “But it doesn’t matter, as long as I get a corner piece with a big ol’rose, I’m happy! I love the frosting better than the cake anyway!” she laughed lightly as she said it. Her breath in his ear was a feel that Matthew loved.

He gave her a small package to open. She tore into it to find a silver chain. The pendent was a turquoise stone with a hand painted narcissus, her birthstone, and the December flower.

“
I love this! It’s so different!” she said.

“I found it in London at place called Unique Stuff.
Unique,” he corrected and laughed. “Like you!” 

“
I love it!” she said again, loving that he thought about the gift. It meant something. “Hook it for me please.”

Andy watched from the other side of the room,
a gift he put his heart into,
he thought, and he liked Matthew more and more…

Two days later, Carlee, Matthew and Andy made the trip to Jacksonville. Working together with Matthew on the book, Geni Davis and Andy had developed a friendship, and the two of them had a few surprises in store once they were all together. 

When they arrived
, they shared an evening with all Matthew’s family, getting to know each other over cocktails and dinner. Andy liked them all. Tom and Geni Davis had raised three nice men.

~ ~ ~

Andy had done some homework. There was family money, but they were unpretentious and unassuming, and he liked that. He’d been very protective of Carlee over the years. He was aware that people knew her situation, but he made sure she wasn’t spoiled. It seemed these people lived that way, as well. 

Tom was older, early eighties Andy guessed from what he gathered and heard as Tom spoke. He
knew he’d retired but continued to work with his son to bring performers in for the local theatre, as well as concert venues. Andy liked that; it was something he knew he could help with.

Geni was a social butterfly,
involved in area museums, the local symphony, and helped raise money for every charity under the sun.  Andy liked that too. He enjoyed their conversations as they worked together helping Matthew with his project. Matthew got his good looks from her. She was a tall, dark-haired beauty, stunning and charming. He figured from comments she’d made that she be in her mid-sixties.

~ ~ ~

The night before Christmas Eve, one of Geni’s groups was hosting the Symphony of Jacksonville at the local college auditorium. It was a fancy, formal, fund-raiser for the symphony and the Schumacher Center for the Homeless. Matthew’s brothers and their families all gathered at the Davis home for cocktails before they went. The men were all in suits and the women in formal attire. Carlee looked at Andy and Matthew;
my two favorite men… handsome men…
she thought, and smiled. 

Thomas
’ girls, Percy and Megs, loved on Carlee as she fussed over them and how beautiful their dresses were. Geni and Thomas’ wife, Angela, both wore floor length dresses. Brian’s wife, Melia, wore a suit. Carlee thought they all looked beautiful. 

Standing with her son, Geni followed Matthew
’s gaze as he watched Carlee with the little girls. Her dress was simple, black and elegant. The
perfect little black dress
Geni thought. She was wearing a single strand of pearls and had pinned a broach that resembled a snowflake, into that wild mass of curls. She had a sparkly black shawl to drape around her shoulders.
Perfect,
Geni thought again and smiled. 

When they arrived and got to their seats, the two little girls scrambled for a seat beside Carlee. Matthew talked Percy into sitting beside him, and told the girls they would switch seats later. With that commotion under control Carlee looked around, and noticed that Andy was absent. She noticed too that there was no seat for him. Before she put two and two together, the conductor was on stage, at last, introducing a ‘surprise special guest.’ Andy walked out on stage and Carlee was thrilled. Matthew held her hand while the symphony played and Andy sang holiday songs. 

Christmas morning, Andy and Carlee shared coffee and pastries with Tom, Geni and Matthew. They spent the morning building a friendship. Matthew’s brothers would join them later in the day for gifts and dinner. 

When they were all together
, Andy handed Carlee an envelope to open; inside was a beautiful card that contained a press release from the local newspaper. It stated that the symphony and Andy’s concert was recorded and would be released for holiday sales the next year. Proceeds would be going to the Schumacher Center for the Homeless.

“
What a wonderful gift!” Carlee said, proudly. “Thank you, Papa!”

Geni noted her excitement over something that wasn
’t really a gift for her, but a gift for others, and she was even more taken with Carlee.

As the time passed, they were all making a fuss over the little girls
’ masses of gifts, and Carlee noticed that Matthew seemed nervous. She knew their relationship was too young for anything serious, so she couldn’t imagine what he was up to, why he was so antsy.

At last, it was time. Everyone finished opening gifts and Matthew had yet to give her anything. She noticed one package remained under the tree. She looked around and noticed that Andy and Geni shared smiles, and she wondered

Matthew handed her the box. She ripped into the paper as everyone watched.
Everyone knows what’s in here but me,
she thought as she glanced around. She pulled a book from the box. The dust jacket was white with beautiful pencil drawing of the Butterfly Camp logo watermarked behind the words;
‘The Young Faces of Cancer’
, under that she read
‘Matthew Davis.’

She didn
’t know what to say, so she opened the cover. Down the left side of the inner flap was a picture of Matthew and a short bio. On the next page, in Matthew’s handwriting she read:

 
The very first printed copy! Love Matthew

 The lump in her throat was far too big to speak, so she flipped another page instead, without looking up at anyone.

The page contained the text:

Dedicated to the memory of Bethy Stevens
 

There was Kimmy’s favorite picture of her and Beth right before she got sick. They were sitting in a garden, surrounded by daisies, laughing. Suddenly, Carlee remembered why they seemed so significant to her. Her tears flowed freely. She couldn’t look away from the book, so she flipped another page that read: