Wholehearted (15 page)

Declan pulled him closer, humming softly and rubbing his back, trying to let him know that he was safe, that no one would ever hurt him like that again.

“I have no idea how long that went on. I kept losing consciousness and coming to, but it never stopped. Finally, I heard Pete coming down the stairs. His heavy fucking boots clanging on the grated metal stairs. I knew the sound of his footsteps, and I remember wanting to cry with relief. I thought Pete would stop them. I’d been working with him for years, and he’d become like a father to me.

“He came into the room, and I saw the look on his face. He was shocked and pissed off. The relief was overwhelming. I thought he would help me. He was yelling, but his voice was muffled to my ears. I could barely see; my eyes were swollen almost shut. He was yelling, screaming at the guys to explain what the fuck was happening. Someone told him, I have no idea who, that they were putting the cocksucking fag in his place.

“I waited for him to hit someone, for him to help me down, or cut the rope holding me hanging, but he didn’t. He didn’t do anything. He just walked from the room and back up the stairs.

“We were still a day’s sailing away from port and I didn’t know how I was going to survive that long. I guess the guys got tired of hitting someone with no fight left in him, because they tied me up to one of the iron posts in the engine room and left me there. I slept a little that night, but it was hard. I was hurting, I was pretty sure my shoulder was dislocated at that point, and I was tied in a sitting-up position. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think. I pissed myself. I was completely broken.

“I woke up to the boat hitting the dock the next day. I had no idea if they were going to leave me in that room, or if I would be able to crawl off that boat and make it to a cab to take me to a hospital.

“Victor came for me and untied me, picked me up, and lifted me over his shoulder. He took me up above deck and dumped me on the ground. The same guys were there, guys I’d slept next to, eaten with, worked beside for the last two months. The same guys that had delivered so much pain and hatred the night before and I just couldn’t fight. I wanted to. I wanted to stand up and kick and punch and bite. I wanted to make them feel as broken as I did, but I couldn’t. They kicked me again. The steel-toed boots were the worst. I thought the day before was bad, but my body was already swollen and bruised, and it made it worse.

“Then I saw it. Victor pulled out the knife we kept on deck in case someone needed to be cut out of a rope quickly. The blade glinted in the air and I thought I was dead. I remember thinking that my last few moments on Earth were pathetic, but I was done. There was nothing I could do and the scariest part is that I was glad. I waited for him to cut me, to end the pain. I didn’t think I could take any more.

“I barely felt the knife go in. It was cold, but there was no pain, and then my chest got tight and I couldn’t breathe. That’s the last thing I remember.

“I guess you found me, and you know the rest.”

Declan felt like he’d been the one who’d been stabbed. The sharp pain of hearing what Lucas had gone through sliced him open and left him both vulnerable and shaking with anger. “Fuck, Lucas. I don’t even know what to say. I’m just… I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Lucas shrugged. Declan could feel the wet patch spreading along his shoulder. He knew there were tears in Lucas’s eyes, but they were tears he needed to shed to move on. Declan felt bad for bringing up the memories that hurt to recall almost as much as it hurt to create them, but he needed them.

“Thank you for telling me, though. I know how hard that was,” Declan said, not wanting to destroy the bond they were creating with anger. As much as he wanted to throw his fist through the nearest wall, he did his best to calm himself and focus on the man in front of him.

Lucas just nuzzled into him. “It’s okay. I just want to put it behind me and move on with my life. Get back to normal as soon as I can.”

“I know. I want to help you do that.”

“You’ve already done more than enough for me. I still don’t know why. No normal person takes in a perfect stranger to nurse back to health, especially a perfect stranger that went out of his way to behave like a total asshole from the moment he woke up.”

“You weren’t a total asshole.”

Lucas angled himself up so he could see Declan’s face. He cocked one eyebrow and shot him a disbelieving look that would have been much more effective if his eyes weren’t bloodshot and puffy from crying. Rather than looking cocky and intimidating, he looked vulnerable. Declan’s heart pumped a little faster. Lucas’s body was strong, solid. His muscles were well defined, and other than the bumps and scrapes, he looked healthy. His split lip had almost completely healed. He shouldn’t ever have to look as broken and defenseless as he did right then. Declan wanted to make sure it never happened again.

He pulled Lucas back into his arms, tucking Lucas’s head into the hollow of his shoulder that he was starting to think of as Lucas’s spot.

“Tired?” he asked.

Lucas responded with a perfectly timed yawn that prompted one from Declan.

“Maybe we should just nap for a while. We can worry about everything else a little later.”

“What is there to worry about?”

“Nothing,” Declan said, and realized that if he could stay like this forever, there really wouldn’t be.

D
ECLAN
WOKE
a couple of hours later, feeling restless and cramped. He wasn’t usually one to spend all day in bed—he rarely even slept in. He liked to be more active. The time he had spent lounging with Lucas had been enjoyable, but not his typical style.

But he refused to move. Lucas was in the same position he’d been in two hours earlier and Declan wouldn’t disturb him for anything.

He let his gaze fall on the sleeping man. The bruises on Lucas’s cheek were beginning to fade, having turned to a sickening green color that signaled the healing process. His split lip was still there, but even with all the kissing they’d done, the cut remained closed. He had always been beautiful to Declan, but now that Declan could see with his own eyes that Lucas was going to be okay, he could really begin to appreciate how gorgeous he really was.

The light-brown hair that was getting just a bit too long had been sleep tousled and messy almost the entire time Declan had known him. His eyes were shut, but Declan could imagine the blueness of them, ringed with the darker circle that made them dance when he was happy and devastatingly sad when he wasn’t.

He loved the strong nose and mouth with his lower lip just a little plumper than his top one. They made him want to press his lips to them, and kiss him awake.

Lucas stirred, a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth as he shifted and stretched against Declan. Declan pressed a kiss to his temple. “Hey, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”

“Pretty okay, actually. It’s been good to be able to get some rest. I feel a lot better.”

“Good. You getting hungry at all?”

“Maybe a little. What did you have in mind?”

Declan thought a second. He hadn’t really had any concrete plans in place, but there was a part of him that wanted to get out of the house and show Lucas off a little to the town. Hope Cove was as much a part of him as he was of it, and it was important to him if he was going to ask Lucas to stay with him that Lucas loved the little community as much as he did.

“Do you want to go into town and grab something to eat at Dixie’s? She owns the diner in town and there’s a heated debate that rages among the community members here over whose food is better, hers or Oliver’s.”

“Uh,” Lucas hesitated.

“We don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to,” Declan interjected. He didn’t want Lucas to feel put on the spot; he just wasn’t used to staying home so much and was going a bit stir-crazy.

“I just, I don’t want to scare small children,” Lucas admitted.

Declan should have thought about how he would feel being out amongst a bunch of strangers so soon after being released from the hospital. “You’re not the least bit scary,” Declan reassured him. “If you don’t want to go, that’s totally okay. We could make something here, or we could order in if you wanted to. I’m easy.”

Lucas grinned at him. “Not so easy,” he teased. “It’s not that I don’t want to go out, I just don’t want people to stare. I look like Frankenstein’s monster’s less attractive little brother.”

“Well, we could go to Maggie’s instead of Dixie’s if you wanted to. That’s the bakery slash cafe slash restaurant that Oliver owns with Haydn. You met Oliver the other day. He does mostly takeout. Haydn does the baking, and Oliver is a chef, but they make things together that are crazy good. The quiche is pretty much the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth, and until I met Oliver, I didn’t even like quiche.”

“There won’t be many people there?”

Declan glanced at the clock. Three in the afternoon. “Not now. Most people are still at work and it’s a little early for the dinner crowd. There might be a couple moms that come in, but Maggie’s is usually only busy around mealtimes.”

“I guess that would be okay.”

Declan carefully disentangled himself from Lucas and jumped up from the bed, a little excited to be taking his guy out in public. Not that Lucas was his guy, but if he had his way, he would be. He’d keep his hands to himself—for now—but one day, he wanted to be able to be as affectionate with him as Oliver and Mack were together. Declan had never had that before. Even though he hadn’t hid who he was until he arrived in Texas, he hadn’t made much time for dating or love before he graduated. A quick fuck here and there to take the pressure off, and he was good to go.

This felt different.
Lucas
was different, and he made Declan want to be different too. Fuck the consequences.

They dressed and decided to walk to Maggie’s. It was a nice day, and Declan’s place wasn’t too far from town. Lucas assured him that he had the energy and walking wasn’t painful. He thought it would be good to get a little exercise.

Declan ushered him from the house and into the bright autumn sun. The air smelled like fall, the scent of leaves mixing with the smell of the sea. Declan loved that smell. This was only his second fall in Hope Cove, but he had come to love everything about it. Hope Cove put on its share of festivals throughout the year. The mayor had an irrational belief that festivals were the glue that held the community together, so there was at least one per month held in the square. The Fall Firelight festival had been the month before, and the All Hallows’ Eve Night of Delight was only a couple of weeks away. Declan usually chose to work those nights, but that ensured that he would be in the square and spending time with his neighbors for most of the evening; he just had to do it in uniform, which he never minded.

He knew almost everyone in town, and they all knew him. It was one of the things he loved about living there.

They walked in companionable silence along the plateau Declan’s house sat upon as they made their way to the road. Declan didn’t try to start a conversation. There was a lot to think about for both of them, and the views that surrounded them along the plateau were nothing short of breathtaking. He loved where he lived because the sight of the ocean that stretched across the horizon in front of him always made him feel as though no matter what was going on, he was only a small part of the puzzle: as if his problems could not be significant in comparison to something so breathtakingly huge. He supposed that to some people, the comparison would make them feel insignificant, but it only filled Declan with a sense of wonder.

He hoped it would do the same for Lucas.

I
T
DIDN
’
T
take long to get to town. They entered the southeast corner of the square where Ms. Libbey was leading the senior yoga class on the grass. The weather was far too cold for that, Declan thought, but the ladies didn’t seem to mind. They were bent and stretched and happily chatted with one another as they moved into the downward octogenarian position. Declan chuckled to himself.

As they crossed over to the other side, Declan gave a small wave to Ms. Libbey, who waved back amicably.

“Ms. Libbey is the librarian. She said she had ‘no choice about her profession when she was born into that last name.’ She said ‘it sounded too much like library for her to ignore her calling in life.’” Declan emphasized his words with air quotes. “She started the yoga club last year after visiting her daughter in Vancouver, British Columbia. Apparently yoga is quite the thing there, and after spending her retirement savings on Lululemon pants, she is determined to make it a thing here too.”

“Seems like she has quite a following,” Lucas remarked, obviously amused at the sight of eight retirement-aged women trying to contort their bodies into all sorts of unnatural positions.

“Yeah, it’s been quite a success. I think it’s probably due to the fact that Mrs. Goldie joined last month, and she always has the best gossip. The class is supposed to be an hour and a half long, but I think there is only about ten minutes of actual yoga, before they’re exercising their mouths rather than their bodies.”