Will To Live (20 page)

Tearing my glaring eyes from Dustin's retreating back, I continue on my mission to find John. Leaving the cafeteria, I look first to my right, then my left, then in front of me. I get a glimpse of jeans and the splash of red color of a t-shirt, the same color and clothes John had been wearing the last time I clearly saw him, disappear inside the door to another new building. This one is nowhere near as large as the cafeteria, in fact, it's about as big as one of the singles' housing that have been built on the property.

My attention locks on the building and I move toward it. Every new structure here, including the cafeteria, have two floors so that in the event of a zombie invasion, there's somewhere everyone can run to to find safety.

My steps slow as I near the door, unsure if I really want to confront my own personal demon. And it's not John.

Sucking in a deep breath, I twist the door handle and step inside.

John sits up straight in his chair behind a huge wooden desk across the room from the door. He relaxes when he sees that it's only me, but then I see his face change to wariness at the realization of the reason I may be here. His smile of welcome quickly turns into a frown of concern. His cat, Pittith, if the huge jewel-adorned name tag on her pink royalty cat bed states, looks up lazily at my intrusion of her nap. Then she hisses at me. Apparently, she decides I'm not worth the trouble, because she lets out a great big yawn, then a 'go to hell look', before she lays her head back down to sleep on her crossed front legs.

“
Canada, I don't think you should be here,” John tells me.
 

“
You're probably right, but I need to talk to him anyway.”
 

“
No one is going to like this. I could get into a lot of trouble.”
 

“
Well, then, let's just keep this between the two of us, shall we?” I say to him with a grin of confidence I don't really feel.
 

After a few moments spent contemplating the decision, John finally lets out a deep sigh, stands, and makes his way to the door behind him. He looks back at me before inserting the key, and raises his brow.

“
I know you'll get in one way or another, I've heard enough to know that about you...but are you sure about this?” he asks, giving me one last chance to walk away.
 

I swallow hard, then nod. Steeling my back and mentally pushing away the fear of a victim, I step forward. John opens the door wide and I enter the back room. Rows of cells line the opposite wall, and only one is occupied. I urge my feet and legs to carry me toward it. When I stop in front of the cell, I turn my head back to John and give him a nod to let him know I want privacy. I glare at him when it seems like he's going to protest, but then he sighs again and leaves.

Turning back to the cell, I take a good hard long look at the man who kidnapped me, raped me, beat me, and tried to kill me. The man whose child I may now be carrying.

Dustin's determination with examining me will soon expose my secret. I need answers...fast. I can only pray this visit will give me those answers.

He's sleeping on the cot, his light snores making anger rise inside me each time they occur. His face is still a beautiful sight, his muscled body still impressive. But I feel nothing but anger and hatred toward him.

Unable to tolerate much longer with him, I call out in a loud and demanding voice, “Jake!”

Jake jumps up and out of the bed, automatically positioning himself into a fighting stance. When his mind clears, and he sees it's only me, he relaxes and his oh-not-so-sexy-anymore grins breaks out on his face.

“
Well, well. If it's none other than my own Canada,” he practically sneers at me as he saunters over to the bars just in front of me. His cockiness increases the anger I already feel toward him. But instead of letting him see the anger, I give him a cocky grin of my own.
 

“
Well, well. If it isn't the dick who I wish were dead right now.”
 

I feel a chill run through me. A good chill. A chill of satisfaction, when a look of pain crosses his face.

“
Oh, come on now. You know I didn't mean to do all that to you. You know I wasn't in my right mind. Canada, I would never hurt you on purpose. I really do love you.”
 

His eyes plead with me to believe him.

Fortunately, I'm past falling for all that shit, but I do need information, and I'm gonna get it. One way or another.

“
I know, Jake, and I'm sorry you're stuck in here. I'm doing everything I can to fix this, but it's just going to take some time.”
 

Jake's body slumps in relief, and I'm almost certain it's fake.

Can he really be that stupid?

“
I knew you would come through for me. I knew it.”
 

Oh. Well...maybe he
can
be that stupid.

“
Greg came by to see me earlier,” he informs me.
 

“
Did he? How did that go?” I ask him, not really caring.
 

“
Not good. He just came by to inform me he knows the truth about why he had to keep taking the shots. He also told me he knows what I did to our parents. And that he no longer has a brother.”
 

I'm shocked when Jake's eyes well up with tears. But when he lets out a loud strangled sob, and those tears fall freely down his face, I feel even more shock.

He may have lied about everything else, but he really does loves his brother. That was never a lie.

An unwanted pang of sympathy shoots through me, but with disgust, I push it aside.

“
I'm sorry, Jake. Give him some time too. I'm sure he won't always feel that way.”
 

Jake pushes his hand through the bars, wanting comfort. I hesitate, but then force myself to raise my own hand and place inside his much bigger one. Millions of things go through my mind, which almost makes me scared enough to snatch my hand back, but I somehow find the strength to keep it there.

His grip tightens and my body stiffens as I prepare for him to jerk me forward and hurt me once again. But he doesn't. Instead, he loosens his grip and I realize he only squeezed my hand like most people do when they are in pain.

Sick of his touch, I gently extract my hand and take a step back.

“
I need to ask you some questions, Jake.”
 

Jake straightens on his side of the bars, his eyes questioning the seriousness of the tone of my voice.

“
Questions? About what, Canada?” he asks me.
 

I hesitate, wondering how the hell to word something so huge, without letting him know the truth.

“
I was wondering, what would happen if Greg found someone and she were to become pregnant? How would his issue with the whole zombie-thing affect the baby? And what about the mother, for that matter?”
 

Jake studies me for far too long. I attempt to keep my face neutral, doing my best to look innocent. Finally, Jake opens his mouth and I relax a slight bit as I assume by his words that he didn't figure out the real reason I was asking...until I focus on what he actually says.

“
It's never happened before, so I wouldn't know.”
 

Shit! Well, this accomplished nothing.

“
You don't have even a theory on what could happen?” I ask desperately.
 

My heart stops as Jake leans his head back and looks down at me, his eyes almost closed as he studies my face.

“
I'm asking because Greg has a woman very much interested in him. I just want to be able to give him this information in case it becomes necessary.” I rush to give an explanation.
 

I suddenly feel my world tilt a bit as I see a cocky grin break out on Jake's face.
 

I take one more step back without thinking, and his grin becomes even wider. I hear a door open behind me, but it doesn't really register because my mind is so consumed by what Jake is thinking.

Jake's eyes flick behind me, then back to my eyes, and he says, “So, you're pregnant with my baby?”

A loud roar of fear fills my ears, and drowns out all other noise.

How the hell did he guess that?
 

A flash of movement next to me sends me stumbling back until my body slams into the wall behind me. Then I manage to focus on what's going on in front of me, and chills of fear spread throughout my entire body.

Will's hands are around Jake's throat, turning Jake's face a deep red. Will isn't making any verbal sounds except heavy breathing. Jake's eyes are bugging out and his hands are frantically attempting to remove the ones taking his life.

I scream for help, and John comes flying inside the room. Jake loses consciousness, and Will is finally talked into letting him go by John. I admit to being so terrified of Will at that moment, that I inch my way into the nearest dark corner.

I've never seen Will this angry. Not ever!

John shouts at Will to leave, and Will turns away from the cell. As he does, his eyes, which I swear are practically glowing red from rage, find me cowering in the corner. My breath catches in my throat and my stomach tightens with terror. Will takes one step toward me,
growls
at me, then is out the door and gone in one smooth move.
 

It then registers that John is screaming for me to leave so that he can open the cell and check on Jake, and I do so, but slowly, as my legs have no feeling in them. My entire body shakes, but I manage to leave the room and close the door before sinking into John's chair behind his desk. I'm too scared to leave the building and go out into the night. I'm scared of what –
who
– is waiting for me outside.
 

Why am I so scared of Will, you ask? The man who loves me, and the man I love?

Because you didn't see his face! You didn't see and feel the waves of rage coming off of him. This could be the last straw for him. It would be for most men, really. I have no idea if he'll even be capable of listening if I try to explain.

The outside door is thrown open so hard it slams into the wall. My eyes widen, my body stiffens as it prepares to run. My heart speeds up even more until I think I'm about to have a heart attack...but it's not Will. It's my brother, Andy, and he's not happy either.

“
Get the hell out!” he orders me.
 

I say nothing as I run past him and through the open door into the night beyond. I stop when the door slams behind me, and search the yard for Will. When that doesn't produce him, I stare into the dark areas that the solar-powered lights can't reach. But it's just too dark and there are just too many other people going from the cafeteria to their homes, or wherever else they need to be.

I give up and turn to my left, sticking as close to the shadows as I can to avoid having to talk to anyone, no real destination in mind. So lost in my own misery and thoughts, I never hear a voice call out for me. Never know anyone is following me until a hand grabs hold of my arm.

I swing around, ready to fight, but Dustin doesn't even flinch.

“
Dustin! You scared the hell out of me,” I tell him as I bring a hand to rub my chest in an attempt to slow my already abused heart.
 

“
If you had been paying attention, you would have heard me calling you. Even here, you aren't safe enough to let your guard down, Canada. Don't do that again,” Dustin scolds me.
 

“
Oh, come on! Give me a freaking break, would ya? I've just had my entire life screwed up. And yeah,
it's probably my own damn fault, but I only wanted some mother-freaking answers.”
 

Dustin studies my face, then gives me a tug in his direction as he begins to walk.

“
It's time for your exam.”
 

“
Dustin,” I begin as I try to pull my arm out of his grip, “I'm not really in the mood for this. Maybe another time, okay?”
 

He holds on tighter and gives me another good yank and I stumble.

“
Right now is the perfect time. Let's go,” he says in a tone not meant for arguing against.
 

I have to practically trot to keep up with him, otherwise, I have no doubt he will just drag my body along the ground if I don't cooperate.

“
Alright! Let the hell go, and I'll let you do the damn exam,” I tell him through clenched teeth.
 

I feel the pressure ease from my arm and give a good, hard yank before he fully releases me. His nails scrape along the tender skin of the underside of my arm, but I don't pay any attention to it. I just want to smack him upside his big dumb head!

We reach the hospital and he ushers me inside. The downstairs clinic is closed for the night, so the lights are off and his receptionist desk is unattended. Dustin leads me down the hall to one of the clinic exam rooms and flips the switch to turn the lights on. He pulls a gown from one of the cabinets and tells me to strip completely, before leaving me alone.

I do as he ordered, then climb up onto the table, before it dawns on me that he's only supposed to be checking my ankle, head, and arm where the bullet grazed me, so
why
did he want me completely naked?
 

Before I have time to wonder – or
do –
anything else, Dustin gives a quick knock before entering, followed by his receptionist, and love interest, Terry.
 

“
Um. Hi, Terry. Dustin?” I send him a puzzled look.
 

Dustin moves next to my right side and I look into his serious eyes.

“
I know you're pregnant.”
 

Boom!

Just those four little words cause an explosion of a high magnitude in my head. All I can do is let my body fall back on the bed in defeat.

“
Boy, news travels fast in this place,” I joke weakly.
 

“I ran into Will before I went looking for you.
I need to exam you. With it being Jake's, who knows what the outcome of this may be.”