Will To Live (21 page)

“
Whoa! Hold the hell up. It
might
be Jake's.
Might
. It
could
be Will's you know!”
 

Dustin stares at me for a long moment, before he apologizes and says, “I was going by what Will told me. I'm really sorry.”

I let out a big sigh of frustration, and relax back on the table.

“
Let's just do this,” I say quietly.
 

Dustin snaps a pair of latex gloves on and sits on a rolling stool at my feet. But before he can get started, a hard knock sounds at the door. Dustin apologizes and excuses himself, snaps off the gloves and tosses them in the trash container, then storms toward the door.

I hear a shocked and surprised “Oh!” before he steps out of the room. I was unable to see who was on the other side of the door, but knowing my luck, it's probably John the Zombie Zapper.

Great.
That's just what I need to make this night complete.
 

Terry approaches my left side and sits down on the chair placed there for family. She offers me a hesitant smile, and I smile back knowing how uncomfortable she must feel and hoping to ease the discomfort a bit.

Why? I don't know, but she's just so damn sweet.

“
I'm sorry Dustin asked me to be here. I insisted he call in one of the nurses, but he said you're related to most of them and Cindy just got here. He said he needed help and he wanted you to be as comfortable as possible, but I know nothing about being a nurse!”
 

I smile even wider at her uneasiness. “It's okay. Really. I'm glad you're here.”

To be honest, I wish she weren't. I wish it were Will here by my side, but I don't think that's going to be happening.

And of course, who should burst through the doors right at this particular moment?

“
Honey, I'm so sorry. I just kinda lost it when I heard what Jake said. It's fucking killing me to know he touched you, in
any
way.”
 

Instead of just being grateful he's here, like I wanted and letting it go, I open my mouth and tell him how it is.

“
Yeah, because we know just how honest and trustworthy
Jake
is. We also know just how amazing an upstanding citizen Jake is. He wouldn't
possibly
try to cause problems between us, now would he?” I push myself up into a sitting position, gearing up to really let him have it. “Over and over again, you jump to conclusions and assumptions, and...and...you just piss me the hell off! So just leave. Get the fuck out of here. I never want to see your sorry ass again.”
 

My chest heaves with anger, and my eyes shoot daggers toward my husband's face. He says nothing and doesn't move an inch.

Finally, he says, “You really want me to leave?”

“
You really want to go?” I shoot back.
 

“
No.”
 

“
Then I don't want you to leave.” I tell him as I stretch out my hands to him.
 

As we embrace, we hear Dustin say to Terry, “Only those two can make love seem like a bad idea.”

Will and I laugh and release each other. Will moves to take Terry's place and Dustin snaps a new pair of gloves on.

“
If you two bi-polar lovers are finished, I have some work to do.”
 

Will and I grin at each other as I lay back on the bed. When Will's hand closes over mine, I relax while Dustin does his thing between my legs.

His
doctor
thing, you nasty-minded people!
 

After what seems a couple lifetimes, Dustin finishes the visual exam, then moves on to my ankle while he's down there. He twists and turns, prods and pokes, then moves up to my arm. I keep glancing at Will to see if his impatience is as clear on his face as it must be on mine. Finally, after Dustin's silence stretches to the examination of my head, I shove his hands away from me and sit up.

“
Dustin!”
 

He jumps back from me, startled at my fast actions and loud shriek. His head swings to look at all of us in the small room. Until Terry helps us all out.

“
Dustin,” she says in a sweet and gentle voice, “what about the baby?”
 

Realization spreads across his face, and he chuckles.

“
Guys, I'm sorry. I've got a million things on my mind. I'm trying to figure out everything we're going to need for this pregnancy and delivery, plus for any other women who become pregnant. I really didn't mean to keep you in the dark.”
 

“
Now that we have your attention back, Doc, do you think you can tell us
what you found out
!” Will says.
 

I'm proud of Will. He started out calm and pleasant and ended only slightly less than a scream. Much better than I would have done.

Dustin nods and moves back to take a seat on the stool. He wheels himself closer to us before beginning. Will and I grab each others hands for support and lock eyes on Dustin.

“
Everything looks normal from this end. I–” Dustin breaks off as I burst out laughing at the words he chose to use.
 

I can't help it! I do that when I'm nervous. And you have to admit, it was pretty funny.

All three give me a stern look, and I bite my lip. I nod to Dustin when I'm back in control, and he lets out a long, slow breath before continuing.

What the–

Dude! He totally just counted to ten with that sigh-thing he just did.

I'm not that damn bad!

Am I?

“
I want to get some more equipment from somewhere. The hospitals around here have been destroyed, either by fire or marauders. Or both. I'm going to have to send a team to travel a little further away than we're comfortable with.”
 

“
Hey! Cindy and Kris just came from a hospital. Maybe that would be the best place for us to search first,” I tell them.
 

Dustin and Will give each other a look, and I immediately know what that damn look means.

“
The hell you say! I'm going. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean my ass is going to be forced to stay home. No! Don't even open your damn mouth, William! I'm going with, or
without
, everyone else. I
will
, and you know it.”
 

Will snaps his mouth shut as he realizes I meant what I said, and that even if they manage to leave without me, I most certainly
will
find a way out.
 

“
You are the most stubborn damn woman I know!” he barks at me.
 

“
And
you
are the most stubborn damn man I know, so it looks like we're a freaking match made in
Heaven, babe,” I snap back. I then set my jaw and stare him down.
 

He looks over to Dustin for help, so I stare him down too, daring either one to argue me.

Neither one does.

Who said men can't be taught?

“
Fine. Let's finish your exam and get some sleep. We'll leave first thing in the morning,” Will grumbles.
 

“
After breakfast, right?” I ask.
 

“
Don't push it,” Will snarls at me and I shut my mouth with a snap, even though I know he's just being pissy and won't really leave without letting me eat first.
 

Dustin finishes his exam and I look over at Terry, who has been propping up the wall next to the door this entire time. A grin begins to form on my face as I think of Dustin's failed attempt to fool us.

Dustin didn't really need her. Our brilliant doctor just wanted an excuse to have Terry near him, forgetting he probably should have given her something to do in order to make it a little more believable. Ah, Dustin, the lessons you so badly need to learn!

“
What's the matter now?” Dustin asks when he notices my great big shit-eating grin.
 

I clear my throat and attempt to wipe the grin away.

“
Nothin'!” I call out as he leaves the room, shaking his head and motioning Terry to follow him.
 

Will helps me off the table and asks what's so funny. I explain the obvious to him.
 

Apparently, the obvious wasn't so obvious to my darling husband, as the astonishment on his face makes it
obviously
clear he hadn't a clue that Dustin has fallen in love.
 

“
No shit? With Terry?” he asks.
 

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, with
Terry
. Who else? How can you not see that?”

Will shrugs and I laugh every time I get a glimpse of his face while I dress. He still looks shocked. We leave the clinic together and stroll home with my arm looped through his.

Yes. We are totally pretending every thing's okay. It won't last. I promise. Soon, we will have to talk about this, and when we do...ruega por nosotros!

When we reach the main house, we push through all the family and friends that have overloaded this poor old house. The sheer volume of voices make the windows rattle in their frames. We locate our boys, send them up to bed, and make our way to our own bedroom. I attempt to take what I had intended to be a quick shower, until Will slides in behind me.

By the time we're done, the timer has long since shut our allotted water supply off. Shivering, we race each other to the bed and burrow under the covers. Holding each other tight, we slowly begin to warm up.

Will strokes my hair and kisses the top of my head. When he lets out a deep sigh, I tense up, knowing it's time for the “talk”.

“
Precious, we have to talk about this,” Will mumbles into my hair. “I wish I could just pretend every thing's okay, that this baby is mine with no doubts, and that ignorant asshole had never touched you, but I just can't. I don't blame
you
, Canada. I really don't, so please don't think my anger is in any way meant for you. I do love you. I'll always love you.”
 

“
I love you too, Will.” I pull my head back and look into his eyes. “I wish all of that too. I hate Jake for what he did to me...to
us
. And I know this is hard on you, but please understand, or try to, that this is pretty damn hard on me, as well. But I can't, and
won't
, blame an innocent baby for who his dad is. I'm praying as hard as I can that it's yours, but if it's not, I will still love it and take care of it like it
were.”
 

“
Sweetie, you know how I feel about kids. I would never hurt it, in any way, no matter what. Even if it isn't mine, it will still be yours. And just like the boys, because of that alone, it'll be mine. I just have to deal with the mental shit, and I will. Just give me some time.”
 

Will and I hold each other even tighter as sleep begins to take hold of us and pull us deep into its depths.

We're awake and ready to go about an hour before the sun makes its appearance. The house is quiet, so we do our best to sneak through without waking anyone. Once outside, we make our way to the cafeteria.

In the silence of the morning, the sound of zombies can be heard on the other side of the wall. The groans and moans make me uneasy and nervous.

I now know what Dustin had meant when he said I always had to be on my guard. It wouldn't take much more than a small breach in the wall to overrun the property. Much like they had done the night I returned.

Once in the cafeteria, Will and I are able to move directly to the serving buffets, as there's no long line of people this early in the morning. We spot Dustin and a few others gathered around a large table in the center of the room. When we turn to find a seat, Dustin calls us over.

We find a couple empty seats recently abandoned just for us, and sit down to eat. Dustin introduces me to the other men. Will greets each of them, since he already knows everyone here.

Dustin tells us that two of the men had been medical technicians and would be invaluable to us if we were to take them on our trip to the hospital, as they would know the exact equipment and supplies Dustin will need.

The first man, David, seems nice enough. His sense of humor is much like my own, which I discovered much to my delight, after no more than a brief 'get to know you' conversation. I immediately like the man.

The second man, Wyatt, is pretty much an asshole. He acts like talking to him is an honor and, God forbid, he actually speak a full sentence. Plus, the fact he constantly looks down his nose at me, and rolls his eyes whenever I say something, pretty much turns me off of him.

Eat shit, buddy! Oh, and choke on it.

We discussed the others that would be going, and talked about searching for Vicki, Amy, Eric, and Fiona. Finished eating, we leave the cafeteria and say goodbye to Dustin. David walks along beside Will and I, but the asshole –
excuse me
–
Wyatt, stays behind us. He makes me nervous back there, so I'm paying more attention to him than I am the conversation going on next to me, or anything that's in front of me. So when Nick comes up to me and speaks, I almost punch him in the face he startles me so much.
 

“
Damn it, Nick! I almost hit you,” I snap at him.
 

“
Wouldn't be the first time,” he snaps back. “I'm going after Vicki. You don't seem to care, but
I
do. I'm not asking for your permission, I just wanted to let you know because I'll need a truck. If you won't let me have a truck, I'll go on foot. Either way, I'm going to find her.”
 

I stare at Nick as I have a “proud mama” moment.

That's my boy!

“
Nick, we're leaving in just a few minutes to get hospital equipment and to –
listen to this
–
search for Vicki and the others. Be ready.” I tell him.