Without Scars (33 page)

“This is our bargaining chip. People will want this all to disappear and fast. Your charges have always been mostly about pushing you to testify against Fallon and punishing you with prison time for refusing to. That’s done now. Drug ed classes and a few months of probation. That’s what we’re going to demand.”

“So, it’s fucking over?” Nikki asked.

“In the interest of time and justice, yes. What those kids were doing is way worse than you and in larger quantities and with far more serious drugs. He has a great—and bigger—case for drug conspiracy and distribution against all of them. Saved texts all back it up. Fallon kept very careful and detailed records.”

“And this will really get me off the hook?”

Fallon nodded. “Yes. Trust me, he really wanted this list. Probably to see who else he could get to turn on me and turn it into even more charges against me, while keeping some people on it safe. You guys should release a portion of it, just so he knows you have it and he’s lost control. Trade it for that better deal. Nothing related to you is on there, by the way. So, now, you have it. My story is way cooler than
Confessions
, huh?
This is how you would’ve written it, anyway. Come on.” Fallon smiled weakly. I’d never seen her this timid before.

“Yeah, but I would’ve put this part in
way
earlier, dude.”

“You gotta understand, Charlie; when this list comes out, it’ll ruin so many things. No one will ever talk to my parents again. I’ll lose my last few friends. Everyone will say I’m a snitch and that I should’ve kept my mouth shut and that I shouldn’t have kept records in the first place. I’m going to make a lot of enemies. I needed time to think it through. To accept what I was giving up forever.”

I got up and went to give her a hug. “Thank you.”

Fallon squeezed me tight. “When you adapt my future best-selling book about my life in prison for the big screen someday, you better give me tits like your girlfriend’s.”

“Done,” I said. “Thank you and good luck. If there’s anything you need, just let me know, okay?” Fallon nodded when we separated, and then she and Sheila went into Sheila’s office to have a phone powwow with her attorney.

Nikki tackle-hugged me from behind. “Oh, thank God. I didn’t really think I could visit you in prison, but I would’ve come, anyway. Day after day after day. You and me, good days and bad days.”

“Yeah, but I think we’ve met the bad day quota for a while. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Epilogue

Three Years Later

“How’s Samira, babe?” I asked, approaching the women’s restroom in the crowded restaurant. I got my answer before Nikki could speak; the sound of Samira’s vomiting echoed from within. All the women waiting in line made faces. There was only one toilet inside.

“Still throwing up…still pregnant. I told her it was okay to skip dinner. She’s been feeling sick all day.” Nikki winced and knocked on the door. “You need me to get anything, Mira?”

“A time machine. A time machine, please, so I can go back and tell myself that no matter how cute Lux is, I don’t need another one. I’ll be out in a sec. It’s that guy’s cologne. Ugh.”

Samira walked toward the door, but then her footsteps changed directions hurriedly before she retched again. “Wow. Here’s to not being pregnant.” Nikki raised her palm and I gave her a high-five.

“Shit, I know, right?” I pulled her against me and kissed her forehead. “And I know better than to expect baby talk from you, anyway.”

She shrugged and tucked her head under my chin. “I like this ring, though.”

“I’m just glad every guy in Miami knows you’re mine.”

“Okay, Suddenly Possessive Charlie.” She groaned. “I know the long-distance thing is hard, but we’ve been managing for eight months, right?”

“Just anxious for you to get out there.”

“The worst thing we could possibly do is start our life together with me unemployed in L.A. and you supporting me. You’re writing and producing on two
popular TV shows
. Sinners & Saints: Miami is leading all the other shows in ticket sales right now. I just got the head choreographer position. Let me prove myself a little while, okay?”

“I know…I know, baby. I just miss you so much.”

“I miss you, too.” Nikki grabbed my face and kissed me hard. The door creaked open behind her, and Samira stepped out. She put her hands on her hips and shook her head.

“What are you doing? Didn’t you guys hear what was happening in there? Kissing started the path to Micah, okay? Save yourselves!”

“Micah?” Nikki squealed and spun around. “It’s a boy? You’ve already picked a name?!”

Samira shrugged as she grinned. “Sometimes, he’s Micah. Sometimes, she’s Noelle. Okay, I think I’m good now.” The three of us walked back to the table, and I collected Nikki’s stuff before we said our goodbyes.

“You’re leaving already?” Deacon asked. “I don’t know why you insist on us having these dinners when you’re in town, Charles. We all know you really just want to bang…uh, hang with Nikki.”

“I miss you dumbasses, too! Poker on Wednesday, right?”

He nodded. “Tell your hot girlfriend to bring key lime pie.”

“Hey! Hot
future wife
, you son of a bitch!” Nikki said, punching him on the shoulder. “And definitely.”

“10 A.M. for Booger tomorrow?” I asked Samira.

“Yes. Don’t be late. She’s been talking about hanging with Uncle Cha-Cha
all
week. Ask Nikki.”

“She can’t wait to see you!” Nikki confirmed. Then I swung my arm around my girl and walked us outside. I smiled when I caught her staring at her engagement ring as I rounded my rental car, after I opened the door for her. We’d planned to go right to city hall to get married after my legal troubles ended, but it felt wrong to leave our friends and families out, so we postponed it, and decided to have an actual wedding ceremony. During the delay, I officially proposed, only to shortly thereafter get hired in L.A. for two new shows Hillington pitched me, just as Nikki’s career was taking off here, too. But we were still doing it. Nikki and me. Getting married.
Adulting.

I started the car, and as soon as I put it in gear she clasped our hands together on her lap. “How’s Ty?” I asked.

“Good. He likes College Station a
lot
more this year. No more talk of transferring. We Skype almost every night. When he’s not on with Camryn. She’s transferring from Miami-Dade Community to UF, by the way! She’s so excited. Anyway, Tyler will be home the week of Fallon’s parole hearing, actually. How is she?”

“She’s good. She just got elected as supervising inmate of arts and crafts hour or something in her prison unit. Says she can’t help being good at running things. But she’s really excited for the chance to eventually come out to L.A. and work on set, if she gets out. We are really going to push for her parole rules to include a supervision transfer to Los Angeles. It’s rare but we’re gonna try. She also says everyone in her wing loves the first draft of her novel.”

In my periphery I saw her turn toward me. “Baby, you know I really do miss you, right? And it’s just finances keeping me here? I’ll request a transfer to the L.A. show in a few months.”

“You don’t want me to be your savior. I get it. I always have, baby. Place is so fucking empty without you, though. I still haven’t decorated since the last time you were out there. It’s gonna stay that way until you come for good.” I kissed the back of her hand. “You’re my home, anyhow.”

“Are you trying to make me pack my bags right now?”

“That is the plan, pretty girl.”

Nikki was renting my parents’ condo now, but I didn’t drive us there. I took us straight to the arts district as a surprise. After my eye-opening run-in with the law, my experience became inspiration in a way. I talked to Samira about doing a new project, a series-slash-artwork that teamed us up with Amanda. We started a website where people could submit their greatest fears and uncertainties, anonymously if they chose. Then Amanda invited random people to come into her gallery where they could either read their own fear or someone’s else out loud, while she photographed and filmed them. Amanda had spent the last almost two years painting the walls of the gallery for a permanent exhibit, turning all the words of those fears into the faces of the people who’d read them. I really liked the message behind it. It didn’t matter who read the fears because the feeling itself was universal. Samira and I turned it into a reality series, where we had different people face their fears by sharing and then conquering them.

“Are we supposed to be in here?” Nikki asked when I unlocked the gallery and flipped the light switch.

“Yes…” I smiled, and she spun around, as the place got brighter. The exhibit was debuting tomorrow, and this was a surprise sneak peek I’d arranged for us. I’d seen it yesterday, but it was still mind-blowing. Two hundred distinct faces completely composed of words. On every wall. From floor to ceiling. Enshrined forever.

“Oh my God. I didn’t think it would be so…” Nikki said. Tears rimmed her eyes. “It’s…it’s amazing…”

It was. So much heartbreak and anguish and, yet, it was mesmerizing, calming even. Art was how you made pain pretty. “I know. And tomorrow night they’ll turn on all the video monitors with people reading the fears out loud for the eight o’clock presentation. It’s going to be fantastic.”

“Oh, I can’t wait! Where are we on the wall?”

I took her to where Amanda had told me. For a second, neither of us spoke; instead, we read our own fears.
I’m afraid that I’ll never be good enough for the thing I love most in the world. How do I ever escape that? I’m not sure. I’ll just have to work at learning to not doubt myself so much. My ten-year-old self didn’t doubt me. I have to do right by him.
Those were the words shaping my head.
I let out a deep breath.

Nikki squeezed my hand tighter and I saw a slight tremble in her lip, but I knew it wasn’t sadness. “It’s freeing…even though it’ll be here forever. It feels like I’ve left something behind. I don’t have to carry it anymore,” she said. An arm went around my waist. “This was the best idea ever.”

“You partly inspired it, with your willingness to be so open about who you are, even though it was probably scary. Thank you. You always inspire me. I’m honored to have you as my muse for the rest of my life.” I pulled out my cellphone and switched to the front facing camera. Then I spun us so that the wall was our background. “Remember on the day we met you took that picture of us? In case I was a serial killer?”

She squished herself against me. “Yeah…still not sure…but taking my chances…” she said, laughing.

“Shut up and smile.”

She held my face and leaned in. “Can we do one of those kissing pictures? So I can make it my lock screen or my Facebook profile pic? It’s what all the proper engaged girls do.”

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” I groaned.

She snorted. “Haha! Jesus, no!” She hugged me. “Take the picture, baby…”

“Wait…are you happy?”

“Is that a serious question? At an explosive level!”

“Me too. Obviously. So…I want to take a picture of us
right now
. While it feels like this. Because thirty years from now when you’re nagging me to death and won’t let me buy that sports car I want—”

“You mean when I think you need to stop pretending you don’t need Viagra—”

“Wow, low blow, dude.” She hugged me close and I snapped the picture before turning back to her. “On the day you took that picture, we had no idea we’d be here someday. And we have no idea what things will be like down the road. Neither of us is naïve enough to believe life is going to be unicorns and rainbows. But on those days when we stop remembering how happy and in love we are, and how much we mean to each other, I want the people we are right now to always be able to remind us.” I turned the front facing camera on us again but switched it to video. “What should we tell our future selves?”

She took the phone from me. “I won’t need to be reminded of any of this because I’ll just
know
, Charlie. I’ll always know. I’ve always known. Even when you annoy me
now,
I know. We’ve said it a million times, but good days and bad days. And even those bad days will still be okay because they’ll end with you.”

We would definitely be my best story ever.

The End

***

Hi, Thank you for choosing to read this book.  Hope you enjoyed! -Ayla

aylajoneswrites.wordpress.com