Wrestling With Desire (11 page)

"Ok, well, let me explain the glancing part. Most of what you just said, I would agree with, but the other day, when he was over here, I got undressed in front of him."

Beck shot up into a sitting position. "You what?"

"Calm down. I was just taking a shower because I smelled like the living dead after a long run."

"Oh," Beck relaxed and laid back down.

"But, I did notice when I looked at him after I took off my shirt that his eyes darted to the floor as if he had been staring at me. So, I decided to test him out and I dropped my pants and walked across the room in my jock strap to get my towel and...maybe I'm imagining things...but I swear he was checking out my ass. When I turned to look at him, he shot his eyes towards my face and was definitely blushing. Then, I 92

Wrestling With Desire

by D.H. Starr

took off my jock and he didn't know
where
to look." Derek stopped talking and replayed the scene in his head. "That was the most embarrassing thing I have done in a long time.

Anyhow, just before I left the room I turned to look at him and he was engrossed in readjusting himself." Derek finished and waited as Beck pondered this new bit of information. He felt the tension build up inside him as he waited for Beck to respond. After another minute or two he couldn't take it any longer. "Uh, Beck, you still there?"

Beck sat up, turned her head slowly to face Derek, and placed a hand on his knee. The way she looked at him and then sighed, he feared that she was going to crush his hopes.

That his fantasies were about to come to an end and she was going to explain to him why he was wrong. After another moment, she slowly shook her head, and then burst into a wicked grin. "You little TART! I had no idea you were an exhibitionist. That was a well-played maneuver my friend. I wish I could have been here to witness it. You know how partial I and the other girls are to your ass. Thank goodness you don't wear all those baggy, hang to your knees pants like the other boys hiding that precious gem of an asset of yours, pun intended. And then you stripped that off as well. I
love
it."

"Beck, thanks, but totally not on point right now!"

"Right, sorry." Beck collected herself. "So, you say he was adjusting himself. What, like changing positions or something?"

Derek rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I forget that you're a girl."

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"Thanks."

"That's not what I meant." He gave her a knowing glance.

"He was
adjusting
himself."

Beck's eyes widened in understanding. "Ok, I'll give you that one. Guys don't check out other guys' asses and if they do it certainly doesn't cause them to have to...adjust themselves. Honestly, I don't know how you guys walk around with those things between your legs. They are so ugly and they must get in the way."

"Beck. Still not on point."

"Right." Beck flashed him a weak smile. "I still don't think you have a lot to go on though. But it certainly does seem that you aren't just allowing your imagination to run wild either. Let's keep our eyes peeled and see what happens."

"So you think that there might be something there?"

Before Beck could answer, Derek's cell phone vibrated on his desktop. He flipped it open. "Hello."

"Derek, hey, it's Scott."

Derek covered the receiver with his free hand and mouthed
Scott
to Beck. Her eyes widened a bit.

"So, I thought maybe you could use some help getting your mixing equipment into your car and was wondering if you wanted me to come over a little early."

Derek smiled into the phone. "Yeah, actually, I could use the help. Beck came over early too. We could hang out together before the party."

"Oh," Scott paused for a moment. "Ok, that sounds great.

How does fifteen minutes sound?"

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Derek wasn't sure, but he thought that Scott sounded a little disappointed. "Come over whenever you want. We'll be here."

"Great, well, I'll be there soon. Later." Whatever emotion Scott had been feeling, he had regained his cheerfulness.

Derek hung up and placed his cell back on his desk. He looked at Beck who was staring at him open mouthed.

"What?"

"Derek, I'm seriously impressed. You've been obsessing for the past half hour. By any normal measure, you should have been a blubbering mess on the phone just now. Instead you were calm and collected. You've definitely got game my friend." She looked at him with clear admiration as they both headed down to the kitchen to grab a snack and wait for Scott.

* * * *

"Actually, looks like it's going to be a friggin' bash.

Originally it was just going to be about thirty of the core group, but last minute my parents told me they were heading out of town so now it seems like most of the senior class is going to show up tonight. Should be awesome!"

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Scott had remained with the mixing equipment, checking out the connections and testing the speakers. He was hooking up the final wires to the mixer when Derek walked back over.

Looking up, his eyes sparkled with excitement. "I can't wait to hear you mix tonight. Now that I have an idea of how it's done and have seen you at work, I know the music is going to kick!"

Derek smiled. Although low profile was his usual MO, he didn't mind that everyone recognized him as a
must
at parties. Nor did he mind that people talked about his music for days after a party. "Yeah, I'm pretty hyped up for it. I actually kind of lose focus on the party itself and concentrate on what people are doing and the vibe so that I can mix to that. It's kind of a power rush actually. I can control the crowd, bringing them up, keeping them there as long as I want, and then letting them down."

Scott considered that for a moment. "You know, I wouldn't have pegged you as someone who got off on controlling others."

Derek furrowed his brow not sure what Scott was implying.

"Wait, I didn't mean that like it sounded." Scott smacked himself on the head. "I meant, music is supposed to take you someplace else, right? It's supposed to create a mood and an atmosphere that wouldn't exist in its absence. You create that mood. I think that's awesome that you like being the one who can provide that for others. It's just opposite of how you normally are when you are around other people."

Derek relaxed, understanding that Scott was expressing admiration and not distaste. Being honest, Derek had often 96

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questioned his comfort with being the center of attention when mixing as well. It
was
completely opposite to his normal behavior.
Scott recognized it though. He paid enough
attention to see the subtlety of my...
Pushing the thought from his mind, he focused on what Scott had actually said. "I have noticed that you are really good at putting things into words. You say things that I think, but don't know how to say. Have you always been able to do that with your friends?"

Scott face took on a slightly demure look. One that Derek hadn't seen before. "No, actually, I usually keep those thoughts to myself, but with you, it seems like, well, it just feels like you are the kind of guy who can understand and appreciate what I'm trying to say." Scott was staring directly at Derek as he was speaking and Derek became lost in a sea of blue. Just the simplest of comments, the slightest hint of recognition that there was something special between the two of them, sent Derek soaring.

It took serious effort for him to regain his concentration.

"Yeah, I've told Beck a million times that you seem different than the other guys around here."

Scott's face took on a stunned look for a moment, but he quickly regained his composure. "Wh...what do you mean?"

"Shit, that sounded stupid." Panic crept up Derek's spine as he scrambled to explain himself. "What I meant is that it's refreshing to have you to talk to. I can't talk to the guys on the team about wrestling the way I can talk to you. With you, I can say what I think as opposed to keeping my mouth shut so that I won't embarrass myself...like I am right now. Fuck."

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Derek's heart was thrashing in his chest, trying to get as far away from him as possible. "Forget I said anything."

Understanding spread across Scott's face as his mouth curved up into a smile. "No, I think I know what you mean now. I could never talk to my teammates about why I love wrestling either." He put an arm over Derek's shoulder. The contact sent chills through his body and it became difficult to focus on Scott's words. "You don't ever have to worry about being embarrassed with me. I like that I can tell you anything." The chill changed to heat as it moved towards his cock. "I know I haven't known you very long, but you have been a great friend to me and made me feel like I'm welcome here. I was really worried about moving and thought I was going to have a crappy year, but you're turning out to be one of the best friends I have ever had."

Derek barely heard the last words Scott said as his prick surged in his pants, lengthening and pushing uncomfortably at the seam of his jeans. Luckily he didn't have to respond because the team and several other guests arrived, bursting through the door in a loud uproar. "Well, I guess that's my cue to begin." Reluctantly, Scott removed his arm from Derek's shoulder and Derek quickly stepped behind his mixer so that he could shift the tangled mess in his pants.

"Yo, Scott, come over here. There are some guys I want you to meet from the team," Josh called from across the room. Scott seemed to hover for a moment in indecision, glanced at Derek, then lowered his head and turned to join the group of students who had just arrived.

* * * *

Wrestling With Desire

by D.H. Starr

Derek kept the music fairly subdued. Most parties picked up later in the evening, so starting out fast and furious was never a good idea. Although people continually came by to offer him food and drinks, his attention was focused on his conversation with Scott, which played through his mind over and over.
I feel like you are turning out to be one of the best
friends I have ever had.
That was a good thing. Derek wanted Scott to feel close to him.
I feel like I can tell you anything.
It was statements like that that caused Derek to feel like he was on a see-saw. None of his guy friends had ever talked about being glad they could say anything to him.

Glancing to the corner of the room where Scott was standing with the guys on the team, Derek felt acid burn at his throat. Susan Chamberlain had latched onto him. A beautiful girl outwardly, Susan's inner traits left something to be desired. Last year she had slept with at least three of his teammates and two of them had girlfriends at the time. She threw her head back and laughed obnoxiously, tossing her hair over her shoulder, and then returned her gaze to Scott.

She then placed her hand on his bicep and it seemed that she said
so strong,
although Derek couldn't be sure since he wasn't very good at reading lips.

Derek felt his stomach twist and when Scott glanced over at him it took all of his concentration to ensure that he had a smile plastered across his face. Despite the turmoil going on inside Derek's body, his natural instinct was to project confidence, ease. Seeing Susan on Scott's arm. Knowing what she was probably thinking.
Not
knowing what Scott was 99

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thinking. He could feel the acid rising higher and higher in his throat. There was something else, another feeling along with the nausea. He couldn't quite put a finger on what it was, but it was very unpleasant.

Turning his focus to the music, Derek chose a fast, heavy beat, and slid the control for the bass up to increase the reverberation. He then weaved in three vocals to form the foundation of the dance tune. Each time the vocals repeated, he increased the volume slightly until he could hear and feel that the balance between them and the bass had equalized.

Next, he mixed in tribal drums. The groove he was creating was rustic and masculine. It had an edge of anger to it, but more than anger, there was a raw, natural feel to the sound.

It was a good dance song and more people started to hop around and cheer.

Derek searched for Scott once again, but couldn't find him.

It was then that he realized that he couldn't find Susan Chamberlain either. The feeling he couldn't put a finger on earlier reared up inside him. This time there was no question what it was. Jealousy. Jealousy and anger. Scott was
his
, not that slut Susan's. He wanted to be doing whatever she was doing with him. He wanted to find Scott and ask him how he could lower himself to fool around with someone as disgusting as her.

Refocusing on the music, he increased the volume and then began the slow process of increasing the speed. He took deliberate care to make sure that there were no abrupt shifts in the sound and tempo, wanting the music to drown out any thought. Any feeling. All he wanted was to be filled with the 100

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thrumming of the sounds in the room. At least that didn't hurt. Finally he mixed in siren sounds. They blared at full blast and then slowly faded as he lowered the volume steadily for that track each time.

Each time they sounded, they mirrored the questions screaming inside Derek's head. Why couldn't his senior year have happened the way he expected it to? Why was he so obsessed about Scott? Why did he keep so many secrets?