Wrestling With Desire (14 page)

Derek sprung up with military stiffness, uttering a dutiful,

"Yes, Sir!" They continued their run making small talk and enjoying the colors of fall that reflected off the river's surface.

* * * *

Where'd you go? You disappeared for a minute there."

It took a minute for Derek to clear his head. When he was able to focus, the sight of Scott sent a shiver up his back. "I was just thinking about last night again. About our kiss."

Scott nodded. "It makes sense now."

Derek was confused. "What makes sense?"

"The fact that you were all dreamy-eyed for a minute. I would get that way too if I got to fantasize about kissing me."

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Wrestling With Desire

by D.H. Starr

Derek didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but the comment was so confident, so Scott. Derek couldn't have stopped the smile that spread across his face even if he had wanted to. "I really wish you had more confidence in yourself." He knew he shouldn't say it. Scott was already behaving like a cocky stallion, but why not make him feel even more studly.

Scott reached across the table and gently hooked his finger with Derek's. It was a small touch and only lasted a moment, but it said everything that Derek wanted to hear.

His contentment was interrupted when he realized he hadn't brought up the topic of Beck yet. He hoped that Scott would be comfortable with him telling Beck about the two of them.

Withholding information like this wasn't something he thought he could do. Scott was almost done with his half of the sandwich and didn't seem to be slowing for air between bites.

Offering his half to Scott, Derek decided to bring it up. "Scott, I do have one more question for you."

"Jeez, Derek." His mouth was full so the words came out muffled. "I'm going to start charging you per question." As he said this, a small amount of chewed bread flew from his mouth and landed on the table between them. "Sorry."

Picking up a napkin, Derek wiped up the stray bit of food.

"Charming." He was unable to keep his grin from turning into a chuckle.
Pathetic. I even find his clumsy eating cute.
"I just wanted to ask you if we could at least tell Beck about us. She already knows that I've wanted you since the beginning of the year. She's my best friend and quite honestly, I am fearful of 120

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the fate of my balls if she ever found out that I didn't tell her."

After taking a gulp of his coffee to wash the food out of his mouth, Scott turned to Derek with a grave look on his face.

Shit. He's going to say no.
Scott placed his elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand as if in deep contemplation.

After what seemed like an interminable silence, he finally spoke. "Look. I like you. You like me. Beck is great. But seriously Derek..." He looked a little irritated.

Derek could feel heat rising in his cheeks.
Fuck. I pissed
him off.

Scott continued, "...you've liked me from the beginning of the year and made me wait all this time to find out what a great kisser you are. That's just plain mean." A wicked grin lit up his face.

"You bastard! I thought you were upset." Relief flooded through Derek. "Wait, you didn't answer my question."

Scott smiled at Derek. "Do you trust her to keep it between us?"

"Absolutely. She's known about me being gay as long as I have and hasn't said a word to anyone. In fact, she's the one who keeps reminding me to be careful."

Scott looked at Derek; the weightiness of his gaze was unquestionable. "Then fine. Tell her whatever you want.

Everyone needs a good girlfriend to gossip to." Leaning forward, his face and his posture relaxed. "Just promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Promise me you'll paint me in a good light."

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"You can count on that." As Derek pulled out his cell, an idea popped into his head. "Hey, let's go see a movie."

A look of confusion crossed Scott's face. "Um, did you just topic shift from promising you'll paint me in a good light to watching a movie or are those two comments supposed to be related in a way I can't figure out?"

"Sorry. I do that sometimes. But do you want to go see a movie?"

"Sure, I can do my homework later or tomorrow."

With that, Derek hit Beck's number on his speed dial. "I'm gonna call Beck."

"What, you're calling her now?" Derek couldn't tell if Scott was amused or annoyed.

"Heck yeah! This is big news. We're going steady remember?"

Scott shook his head. This was one of those times that he would have to placate Derek. Somehow, he suspected there would be many times like that. Still, Derek's excitement was sweet. "And the topic has now shifted to us going steady. I'm going to get whiplash trying to follow your line of thinking.

Ok, call Beck, but could you do me a favor and call us boyfriends instead of saying that we are going steady? It makes me feel like one of us should be wearing a poodle skirt." He gave Derek a meaningful look. "And I'm not wearing a skirt."

Derek shot Scott a playfully annoyed look. "Hey Beck.

S'me, Derek."

"What's up babe? You were awesome last night."

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"Scott and I were wondering if you wanted to come to see a movie with us."

Beck's voice rose to a piercing level and Scott barely had to work to hear her voice through the phone that Derek had suddenly moved a few inches away from his ear even though it wasn't on speaker. "Oh, movie popcorn! You know how much I love...wait, did you just say
we
?"

"Yup." A wide grin spread across Derek's face.

"And by
we
you mean..."

"Yup."

"So you..."

"I did."

"And he's..."

"He is."

"So you're..."

"
Beck
, do you want to come to the movies with us or not?"

Derek rolled his eyes. Scott, who had heard the entire interaction, simply laughed.

"Yes. Where are you right now?"

"Au Bon Pain."

Derek heard a thud on the other end of the line. "Holy fucking Mary Mother of Jesus! Ouch!" Derek moved the phone about three inches further away from his ear. Scott covered his mouth to muffle his burst of laughter. "Give me thirty minutes."

"You ok?" Derek was only mildly concerned.

"I just walked straight into my chair, jamming my toe on the leg. You need to give me fair warning before dropping a huge bomb like that on me."

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Derek smiled, "Sorry."

"Well you should be." There was a brief pause before Beck continued. "Oh, and Derek."

"Yeah?"

"I am so happy for you."

"Thanks." He hung up and they ordered another sandwich while waiting for Beck.

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As wrestling season drew closer, new routines fell into place for Derek and Scott. They had been inseparable ever since the night of Josh's party. A serene calm surrounded Derek wherever he went. Just knowing that Scott was his, filled him with a combined sense of pride and happiness and he practically floated through the days.

Although Derek continued his runs, Scott had taken to spending more and more time working out with the guys on the team. The weather had become significantly colder, all of the leaves having long since fallen off the trees. The scenery didn't evoke the same romanticism that it had when hues of yellow, orange, red, and brown had surrounded him and reflected off the water. With naked branches and cold winds, the weather became another obstacle, one that challenged him as he incorporated sprints into his longer and longer runs. Pretty soon he would have to begin to incorporate weight training, but for now, he was pleased with his improved endurance and stamina.

Scott usually came over to Derek's house after school. The attic, which had previously been Derek's solitary haven, became a nest for the two of them to do their homework, listen to music, and explore each other's bodies. Derek had to admit that they tended to spend much more time kissing and groping each other than actually doing their homework, but his grades hadn't suffered, so he didn't waste energy or time worrying about it.

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It was during a last period history class that Derek noticed Scott had been quieter than usual. Not wanting to draw the teacher's attention, Derek pulled out his cell and held it under the desk. Finding Scott's name had become an automatic reflex for him.

What's up? U R in Twilite Zone 2day?

Scott jerked into a straighter sitting position when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out, hiding it beneath his desk as Derek had, and looked at the message. His sly grin spread across his face as he cast a sidelong glance at Derek.

Been thinking about wrestling. Getting nervous.

The response caught Derek off guard. Of all the things that could make Scott nervous, and Derek had found very few things that could, wrestling was not one of them.

Why?

Cause I don't know Sean and Phil.

U'll beat them no prob.

How do U know?

Cause I know. Meet me at lockers after class.

Derek shot Scott a meaningful look, one that was meant to calm him. He wasn't sure whether he achieved his goal from Scott's reaction which remained subdued and quiet.

After they gathered their things from their lockers and were heading over to the athletic complex, Derek picked up their conversation where their texting had left off. "So, what exactly is it that is making you so nervous?"

Once Scott started talking, the words flowed out of him in a continuous stream. "I've been thinking about pre-season.

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I've always known my competition, but with both Sean and Phil gunning for the 167 pound weight class, and with me not knowing anything about them, I kind of feel like I'm at a disadvantage."

"They don't know anything about you either, so they are at just as big a disadvantage." Derek had to hold back the giggle that was struggling to get out. As much as he understood how Scott felt, seeing him reveal vulnerability was both cute and endearing. Scott was typically so self-assured. He had taken the initiative for their first kiss. He had even kissed Derek in public on their run, although he did make sure no one was around first. In fact, Derek realized, Scott also called him out whenever he was talking around issues instead of addressing them directly. It was a surprising relief to see that Scott had a minor chink in that coat of armor. "If you like, I could give you some pointers so that you have an idea of what to expect. I've been wrestling with them since ninth grade, and even though they didn't make varsity, and were in a different weight class, I did get to watch their challenges each week against Dylan."

Scott pondered the idea for a minute. "Do you really know their moves that well? Didn't Sean say he went to wrestling camp and learned new moves over the summer?"

"I may not know some of the new stuff they've learned, but I know each of their basic moves. The mats are in place in the wrestling room. We could go there after school for the next week or so and practice a bit. I mean, you're carrying thirty pounds on me, so you'll probably kick my ass, but I could still show you what to expect."

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"You and me wrestling together..." Derek could see Scott's eyes twinkle with wicked thoughts. Thinking about it himself caused Derek's crotch to shift and he felt his pants become constricted. "I like it. Definitely a good plan. Let's start today."

Derek didn't bother to hold back the giggles that erupted from him this time. "You
do
realize that I am proposing to show you the
wrestling
moves I know Sean and Phil will use, right?"

Scott turned to face Derek, wearing a face of pure innocence. "Of course, Derek. What else could I have been considering besides that?"

Derek gave Scott a shove and Scott flashed a shameless grin and winked at him, causing his dick to lengthen even more inside his pants. He became quiet for a moment as he tried to modify his walking to readjust himself without seeming obvious about it.

Scott didn't miss a beat. The sudden lull in their conversation caused him to look at Derek and, once he looked down and saw the sizable bulge that was prominently staring back at him, his own cock began to stir. Scott looked around to see that they were alone, then boldly reached into his pants to readjust himself while staring at Derek. "You were saying something about your focus being on
wrestling
?"

Derek froze, his gaze locked on Scott's crotch. When he looked up he could only summon one word. "Bastard!"

Scott laughed out loud and they continued their walk to the athletic building in silence. Derek flashed a series of images in his mind.
Dead cats. Sunday Mass. Beck naked.

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Slowly, the tension that had built up in his pants subsided.

Just as they were arriving at the locker room, he noticed Scott furtively grab at the front of his pants, this time trying to be a bit more subtle. The image sent all of the blood rushing back to his groin and he had to start the process of settling himself down all over again.

It wasn't until they had both regained some semblance of control that they headed up to the wrestling room which was located on the second floor. The weight room was next to it so they decided to stop in to see who from the team was working out before heading to the wrestling room. Josh, Power, and Frank were spotting each other on the bench press. Derek was relieved to see that Sean and Phil weren't there. "Hey guys. What's up?"