You Are My Sunshine: A Novel Of The Holocaust (All My Love Detrick Companion Novel) (16 page)

Once the troops passed the streets began to clear, and everything seemed to go back to normal. The vendors haggled with consumers, the old orthodox men walked
huddling together wearing their black coats and high hats, women hurried along in fashionable dresses, but even in all the regularity, for Fruma and Zofia, everything in their world had changed.

Z
ofia hand- sewed the buttons on the winter coat while Fruma rocked Eidel. But instead of the usual conversations, and gossip they worked in silence. Neither of them knowing how today’s events might change their lives.

Chapter
22

“Maybe nothing will change. Maybe the Germans will be too busy conquering the world to bother with us Jews.” Gitel said.

“Always the opti
mist, my love,” Fruma answered.

“Well, who knows? It can’t be that bad. So the go
yim stop shopping in our stores. Business might be hurt a little bit and money might be tight, but we’ll survive we always have. I’ll get a second job if need be. I am not going to let us starve.” Gitel answered.

Z
ofia sat quietly listening. She had heard about the Nuremburg laws, and she was concerned because Eidel was half-Jewish and half-gentile.

“Do you think that E
idel will be in trouble? I can’t remember if I ever told you two this but her father was not Jewish.”

“What, she’s a
baby; nobody is going to bother with a baby.” Fruma said, “Don’t be so silly.”

“I am worried. You know that it is illegal for Jew’s and Gentiles to have children.”

“So, who knows that her father was a goy? Only you, only us and we certainly aren’t going to say anything. So, stop worrying.”

Eidel started fussing and Gitel lifted her out
of her playpen.”

“
Come here shayna maidel, you beautiful girl.” Fruma cooed, smiling until the wrinkles around her eyes were deep crevices. “Nobody would ever hurt such a shayna maidel.”

Gitel
reached for the baby and Fruma handed Eidel to her. She lifted Eidel high above her head and Eidel giggled. Then she drooled onto Gitel’s shirt.

Z
ofia had a memory of how strict she’d thought Fruma was when she’d first begun working for her. How wrong she’d been. Fruma only seemed hard on the outside, underneath her heart was as warm as a cozy blanket.

“
You deserved that,” Fruma said laughing as Gitel wiped the drool from her. “You lift her so high up. Of course, when she drools it’s going to land on your shirt. You’re lucky it doesn’t land in your eye.”

“I guess I do
lift her high up. But I love it when she laughs.”

“We all do.”
Fruma said. “So, you’ll just have to cope with the drooling.”

“That I can do,
” Gitel smiled. Fruma returned her smile.

“O
y my Fruma, you’ve made my life so complete.”

“An
d you mine…”

Z
ofia prepared dinner while the two surrogate grandmothers played with Eidel. They whispered their worries to each other not wanting to alarm Zofia, but Zofia was young and her hearing was exceptional.

“What
ever happens at least we are together.” Gitel said.

“I am so afra
id.” Fruma looked at Gitel her eyes cast dark with shadows.

“I know. I know. So am I.”

Chapter 23

Christa and Manfred were seated in a private room in her father’s office. The results from the fertility tests were back and Dr. Henkener’s nurse called them in to discuss what the doctor had found. Manfred got up to look out the window on to the street. So many things were happening so fast in his life. Hitler was moving forward in his conquest to make Germany the most powerful nation in the world. At the last rally Manfred had attended in Nuremburg, Hitler explained how he planned for the Reich to last a thousand years, for Germany to take its rightful place as ruler of the entire world. Since then things were moving at an alarming rate. Manfred tried to not think about the extermination of the Jews, Gypsies, Homosexuals, and other inferior classes. He understood the necessity it was just the actual act of murder that left him sick and speechless. How far would Hitler take all of this? It was hard to say. Could entire races of people be annihilated? And how such things could be carried out? What would they do with all of the bodies? Manfred hoped that he would be able to avoid seeing any of what was to be done.  With any luck he would never leave his work at the office, never be subjected to a field trip to the camps where it was all to take place. The theories worked just fine for him, it was the acts, the blood, and the death that frightened him.

“Manfred,
do you hear me?” Christa said

“I’m sorry. I was so lost in thought…”

“I know you were, I was asking if you wanted to have dinner with your mother on Sunday. She called.”

“My mother, on Sunday? Yes, if you would like to…”

“You seem distracted.”

“I’m sorry, darling. It’s work. I was thinking about some things I had left undone at the
office.”

She nodded. “Well, let’s go out for a nice lunch when this appointment is over. I never see you anymore. You are always at
work. This is my time.” She smiled. “So, just for a few hours, please put the office out of your mind. All right?”

“Yes,
of course. And you choose the place for lunch. How does that sound?”

He thought about how
neglectful he’d been lately and decided that he would bring her a dozen roses on his way home from work tonight. This job of his consumed him. It demanded everything, all of his time, all of his attention. He wondered if his being over worked might have something to do with their inability to conceive. Many nights he would go to bed exhausted only to wake in a few hours unable to sleep. It would then take him half the night to fall back again and by the time he did, the alarm was sounding telling him it was time to return to the office. Perhaps this was the way it was for all men attempting to better themselves through their careers. It seemed to be a never-ending struggle up the invisible ladder of success.

Dr.
Henkener opened the door carrying a manila file. He walked over to Christa and kissed her cheek.

“Hello Manfred.” Dr.
Henkener reached out to shake his hand.

Manfred saluted him with the
Heil Hitler, salute. Dr. Henkener followed with a less enthusiastic salute.  Then walked behind his desk and sat down. Manfred sat beside Christa her reached over and took her hand in his.

“I have the results
of your physical exams right here. From what I can see, both of you are healthy and there is no reason that you should be unable to conceive a child. I will say this, sometimes if the man is overworked and tired he has a more difficult time. Emotions can also have an effect. What I mean is that if you are so worried about getting pregnant, sometimes that can stop it from happening for you. Or it could be that your job is so overwhelming, Manfred that it is taking a toll on you. But, I think that if the two of you both try to relax and not rush things, Christa will become pregnant in a short time.”

Manfred looked away. He did not want to meet Christa’s eyes
, so he dropped her hand. His old feelings of inadequacy peeked out from under the carefully placed rug in his mind. He was sure it was him. It sounded as if Christa’s father blamed him and his job.  His face flushed as he got up and walked towards the window again. ‘You forget who I am sir. I am Sturmann Blau, a successful officer in the SS. I don’t have any problems. I am not tired or emotionally upset’ Manfred thought trying desperately to regain his self-confidence.

“Do you have problems with infertility
in your family history Dr. Henkener?”

“No, Manfred, we don’t. But it may not be a problem at all. You both might just be trying to
o hard. Sometimes that can be a sort of a block for conception.”

“That’s absurd. It must be Christa.”

Christa’s head snapped as she turned her head to gaze at him. Never had he said anything like this before. Her lips parted and she almost said something but then she closed them again.

“Manfred,” Dr
Henkener locked his eyes on Manfred’s “It may be nothing at all, and then again, It may just be you.”

Manfred’s face turned the color
of fresh blood. He clenched and unclenched his fist. Dr. Henkener had touched a nerve. Christa got up to walk towards Manfred. He glared at her and she did not move.

“Let’s go now.” Manfred said
to Christa. “That is all you have to tell us, is that right?”

“I am afraid so. I’m sorry Manfred.
I think you might just be under a great deal of pressure from your work. But then again…who knows.” Dr. Henkener said.

“No need to be
sorry. The tests are wrong. I am not an emotional weakling who can’t work and produce a child at the same time. For God’s sake, men do it all the time. I am afraid, Dr. Henkener that you just don’t want to admit that the problem might be your daughter. Because I can assure you that, it is not me. Are you coming Christa?” He opened the door and stood waiting “Well, are you coming?”

Christa looked from Ma
nfred to her father.  Hurt and unspoken apologies were all over her face. Her hands trembled as she gripped her handbag in front of her.

“Goodbye father.” She said
her voice crumbling tears welling up in her eyes.

Dr
Henkener watched Christa with sympathy.

Before Christa
had, a chance to kiss her father’s cheek Manfred was outside the door. He let it slam behind him.

Christa followed Manfred out into the street. He was well down the block so she had to run to catch up with him.

Manfred walked so fast that Christa had to jog to keep up. The sound of his boot heels clicked on the pavement.

“Manfred, slow down,
I can’t keep up with you.”

“I’m in a hurry. I have to get back to the
office.”

“But
we were going to have lunch.”

“I realized that I don’t have time today.”

“Manfred, please don’t be this way. We love each other it will be alright.”

“I’ll see you tonight.” He said and walked away
so fast that he left Christa behind. She stopped trying to keep pace with him. Instead, she stood still just watching the man she loved race away from her.    Only once did he turn back to see her standing alone on the side of the street watching him. He was far away, too far to see it, but he knew she was crying. Still, even though he wanted to, he could not go back and take her in his arms, something inside of him, the need to be strong, to be powerful, to be respected, stopped him.

When Manfred returned to the
office, he went to his desk without saying a word to anyone. Dr. Goebbels saw him and walked over.

“Everything alright? You
went to the doctor, yes? You look upset.”

“Yes, it’s fine. We just need to try harder.”

“Nothing wrong with that…right?”

“Yes sir.”

“Ach, don’t feel bad, before you know it she’ll be pregnant and you’ll have a beautiful child.”

“Yes, that will be very nice.”

Joseph Goebbels patted Manfred’s back.

“Have you had lunch?”
Goebbels asked, he put down the latest copy of “Der Stumer the newspaper which he had been leafing through when Manfred arrived. He was proud of the propaganda paper his office produced. It had proved helpful in swaying the thoughts and minds of the German people against the sub human’s and rallying them behind Hitler and his noble cause.

“No.”

“I thought you might stop with the wife and grab something.”

“She had to get home. Her
lady friend was stopping by to drop off her child. Christa promised to watch her baby.” Manfred lied.

“Well, then it’s you and I. Why don’t we take a walk down to the corner
pub? We can have a couple of beers a few brats and an hour or two away from work?”

“Sounds good, sir.”

When they got to the pub there was a line of people waiting for a table. The proprietor, a rotund little red-faced man with a white apron and red blond hair that was so thin his scalp shined through, walked over to them.

“Heil Hitler.” The restaurateur sa
id.

“Heil Hitler. Table for two,
” Goebbels answered.

Although they were the last to arrive
, he seated them first. Once again, the black SS uniform had worked its magic.

They sat at
a table in the corner by the window. The table was covered with a red and white checkered tablecloth

“Bring us two beers.”
Joseph Goebbels told the young waiter. “And a plate of Brats and some sour kraut. Also, some fried potatoes and a green salad. Do you want anything else, Manfred?”