You Are My Sunshine: A Novel Of The Holocaust (All My Love Detrick Companion Novel) (12 page)

Z
ofia and Helen would look at each other and burst into fits of laughter.

In just a month Helen
would marry the boy she had been in love with since she was only fourteen. They were childhood friends and neighbors that grew into sweethearts. Once, Helen’s fiancé had picked her up for dinner after a fitting. When Zofia saw them together, their affection for each other made her feel empty. It seemed to Zofia, that unlike her own, their lives would be wrapped up in a perfect package, but Zofia was young and how was she to know that sometimes what appears to be perfect can be destroyed in a second?

The first time Z
ofia felt the baby move, she and Fruma were at the market shopping for food for the Sabbath dinner.  As Fruma was smelling an apple for ripeness, she noticed that Zofia had stopped moving and stood still with her hand clutching her belly and a strange expression on her face.

“Are you alright?
” Fruma her voice betraying alarm

“Feel this.” Z
ofia whispered. She took Fruma’s hand and placed it on her swollen abdomen.

As the baby twirled about, the two women looked at each other in awe.

One night the three sat together after dinner drinking cups of dark bitter coffee. The sun had just begun to set and it looked like a large red ball in the western sky.

“Z
ofia, you have brought lots of joy to our home.” Gitel said. “We’ve always been a happy couple but we used to talk and say how much we both missed having a child of our own. You are like our daughter.”

“Thank you. It warms my heart to know that I am not a burden to you.”

“You have never been a burden to us. Not even when you first started working at the dress shop and you made so many mistakes.” Fruma said and she laughed. “It was still a delight to have you there.”

Z
ofia smiled.

“Z
ofia, can I be so bold as to ask you a question?”

“Yes
of course, Fruma.”

“The baby’s father? He knows that a child is coming?”

“No, he has no idea.”

“You think about him?”

“Not any more. He was a mistake. I did a foolish thing and I never want to speak to him again.”

“But if he knew about the baby
maybe he would help you, it is his responsibility too, and maybe he would give you some money.”

“I don’t want anything from him. I never want to see him again.”

“Do you ever worry about passing him on the street?”

“No, not here. He is not Jewish. He would never be in this part
of town.”

Fruma
nodded. “Can I get you anything?” She asked “Either of you?”

“No” Both Gitel and Z
ofia said.

“Z
ofia, it is your choice. If you don’t want, the father involved than that is the way it will be and I think I can speak for both Fruma and I. We will stand behind you no matter what happens.  Together the three of us will find the money to raise the baby, isn’t that right Fruma?”

“
Of course it is.”

On a lazy sun kissed afternoon late in the fall as the smell of burning leaves filled the city streets, Zofia’s water broke. It happened as she stood in the kitchen helping to clean up after supper.  There was no pain just a stream of warm water that ran down her legs.

Fruma
saw it first. She knew a little about babies, so she was very concerned when she saw that the water was green. But she didn’t want to alarm Zofia or Gitel. The best thing was to get the midwife, as quickly as possible she would know what to do.

“Gitel, hurry up and go get Maria, the baby is coming. I’ll stay with Z
ofia.” Fruma said.

“Yes, all right. You stay here with Z
ofia. I’ll go.”

The tw
o fumbled like two nervous mothers. 

“Here, come on now, you should get right into bed and wait for Maria. “ 
Fruma took Zofia under the arm and practically carried her to her small bedroom.

Fruma
grabbed a pile of folded towels and put them under Zofia’s buttocks to catch the flow of water.

Gitel dressed quickly and ran all the way into the non-Jewish sector to Maria’s house.

As soon as Gitel and Maria returned, Maria examined Zofia.

“Well, it looks like she is going to have a dry birth.”

When Fruma was able to she pulled Maria out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where Zofia could not hear.

“When he
r water broke, it was green. I think that maybe that is a sign of some sort of evil spirit. “

“No, but it is a sign that we have to do what we can to get this baby out as soon as
possible. The baby has had a bowel movement if we are not careful when it comes it could inhale the nasty material and die instantly.”

“O
y vey, what should I do?”

“You and Gitel get me a bowl
of hot water and some towels then leave the rest to me.”

The pains grew stronger and more frequent as the hours passed. Z
ofia lay in her tiny cot sweat pouring out of her body as her two surrogate mothers waited filled with angst outside the closed door.  Hours past the sun set and rose again twice. Zofia grew tired from the intensity of the pain.

“I don’t think I can do this. I am afraid I am dying.”

“You will not die. This is your first child; it is always a hard labor with the first baby.” Maria said, but she was worried. The baby was not crowning. In fact, it was coming feet first if it came at all. She knew she would have to reach inside of Zofia and turn the baby so that it could come forward into the world.

As Maria reached up through Z
ofia’s vaginal cavity to turn the baby Zofia’s screams filled the room. The old midwife was covered in sweat her hair stuck to her forehead as the skilled hands moved inside Zofia’s body. One mistake and the mother would be lost. She would bleed to death. It was a tedious and painful process.

Finally,
she was ready.

“Push, now” Mari
a said out of breath from the stress and exertion.

Zofia had
never been so tired; it took all the strength in her body to push.

“Again”

The cords stood out in Zofia’s neck as the beads of sweat ran from her face into her hair and down onto her flushed neck and chest.

“Again
, push… you must push.”

“I can’t” Z
ofia cried.

“Again
, now, Push.” Maria demanded. “Push, I said, push…”

Z
ofia did not respond. Maria slapped her face to bring her back to reality. Zofia must use all of the force left within her to bring this child into the world. “Push…” Maria growled. “Push, I said, push…” If she stopped now, Zofia would die.

Z
ofia cried out, tears falling on her face. “I’m so tired. Please...”

“PUSH
...”

Z
ofia pushed with all the strength left in her body.

Once the walls
of Zofia’s body’ tore open, the tiny slippery infant left the safety of its mother’s womb and poured into the world in a river of blood, water, and feces.

Immediately
Maria grabbed the child. Her thick knowing hands cleaned the infant’s air pipes, and then she held the baby high in the air, by its feet and slapped the child hard on its buttocks. A hearty cry echoed through the rooms.

Maria took a deep breath and sighed.
She laid the baby beside her mother. With her forearm, she pushed the hair off her sweat-laden brow. Her work was done “You have a daughter, Zofia.”

Z
ofia smiled cradling the baby gently in her arms.

Maria took the little girl and
gently laid her in the dresser drawer that had been made into a makeshift cradle.
“One more push, you have to get the after birth out. Then I will give you the baby.”

Z
ofia looked at her daughter who whimpered waiting and felt a burst of energy.  She pushed hard. Her body gave way to more blood and water then the rush of a large slimy matter came forth and she knew it was over.

Not yet washed the child lay contented in her mother’s arms as the Midwife cleaned the mess. Then she took the baby and te
nderly washed her clean.

“She’s a beauty.” Maria said handing the baby back to Z
ofia. “What are you going to call her?”

“Eidel, it means gentle.”

“That’s a lovely name. Let me go, and get Fruma and Gitel, they will want to see the baby.

Fruma
and Gitel came storming in like two protective wild cats.

“Are you alright?” Gitel asked.

“Yes.” Zofia said then she moved the blanket away so they could see the baby. “This is Eidel.”

The two women looked on in amazement at the tiny hands, feet, ears
…

“Oy, she is really shane
(beautiful).”

“So Shane.”

They cooed and giggled like young girls gently fondling the soft skin of the baby’s cheek.

Z
ofia was happy, content even. But she could not help thinking of her parents. A pang of sadness shot through her. She wondered how they had felt the day she was born. It must have been something like this. They must have felt this extreme love and need to protect her. The way she now felt towards the bundle that slept softly in her arms. She was sure they were in awe at the wonder of a new and precious life. Zofia missed them. She realized that she’d done wrong, she had brought shame on to her family name, but she wished they were here. She wished they could see their grandchild. Surely if they saw this little wonder, God’s perfect creation, then all would be forgiven. A tear escaped the side of her left eye, but no one noticed. It trickled away quietly and mingled with the sweat that was beginning to dry on her face.

Z
ofia was tired. Fruma took the baby and Zofia slept.

Over the next
week, Zofia regained her strength. But she was still in bed. The tearing of her delicate parts was taking time to heal. Fruma and Gitel did not mind. They enjoyed being useful.

Having an infant in the house changed the lives
of all three of the women immensely. They fussed over the baby and took turns getting up to bring her to Zofia’s side, then watched as the small little lips grasped Zofia’s nipple and sucked vigorously.

“She is a healthy baby.”
Fruma said. “Thanks be to God.”

“Yes,
Thanks be to God.” Gitel said, taking Fruma’s hand and smiling at her.

As the baby gr
ew, so did the responsibilities, which Fruma and Gitel took on with relish. They had been so long alone that they enjoyed the role of Grandparents. At first Fruma insisted that Zofia stay at home and take care of the child, but as the child became sturdier, they set up a playpen in the dressmaking shop. All day, Zofia and Fruma worked while Eidel slept in her playpen. Many times, they had to put work aside to comfort a fussy baby, but it was all right. After all, it was Eidel.

When Helen returned from her honeymoon she and her mother, Maria went to visit the dressmakers.

“Oh, look at her, she is beautiful.” Helen said about Eidel, as she smiled at Zofia. “She has such light hair. I think she will be a blond.”

Helen had never asked who the baby’s father was, but Z
ofia could see by the way that she looked at the child that she wondered.  After all, how had a woman with hair the color of a raven’s wing produced a child with a full head of hair as light as a field of wheat? Well, it was apparent to Zofia that Eidel with her striking sapphire eyes, looked a lot like her father.

“I really like her name. It’s lovely.”

“Oh, thank you. It means gentle. But so far, she’s more feisty than gentle. As a matter of fact when she nurses I feel like a whale is pulling at my nipple.”

Helen laughed. “I can’t wait to have a child. I’ve always wanted children. Fritz says we should start immediately.”

They both laughed.

“How was your honeymoon?”

“It was very nice. We didn’t have a great deal of money so we were limited as to what we could do. But we enjoyed it.” Helen said. Then she gently ran her finger along Eidel’s cheek trying to make the baby smile.

“Can I hold her?” Helen asked

“Yes, be careful. Remember to hold her head.”

“
Of course,” Helen said and she reached down to lift the baby. At first little Eidel’s lower lip went out and she looked as if she might cry. “Shhhh,” Helen whispered Helen stroking the baby’s soft cheek. She walked the room gently rocking the child and holding her against her chest.  After a while instead of crying Eidel suckled and curled into Helen then fell asleep.

“She is a wonder.”

“I know. Sometimes I cannot believe I have a child. It’s almost inconceivable. I have to pinch myself,” Zofia laughed.