You Are My Sunshine: A Novel Of The Holocaust (All My Love Detrick Companion Novel) (8 page)

“Well, I live a couple
of miles south of the school with my mother. Last year my father passed away from a terrible bout with the influenza. Since then my mother has been very lethargic. She doesn’t get out of bed much. After school, I work for the diamond seller. ”

“Oh
, I am sorry. How do you do it all?”

“It’s alright. I manage.
I don’t really have any choice. And between what my father left us and the money I earn we survive.”

“Please if I can help in any way, you must not hesitate to ask.”

“That is very kind of you, but we’re fine.”

“Here, let me get you some tea. I have some lovely biscuits as well, and it is not so
often that I have company. Will you please share them with me? I would enjoy that so much.”

“Then yes.
Of course I will.” She wasn’t hungry, but it didn’t matter. Here she was alone with Mr. Taylor. He’d asked her to call him Don. He liked her; he wanted her to be his girlfriend. She was so excited, and nervous she could hardly contain herself.

Don
Taylor got up and put the teakettle on the stove, then took a swig from a bottle of vodka that was on the counter. Zofia studied the pictures on the walls and wondered what life might be like in America.

When Don
returned, he put another record on the turntable. He wound the crank and placed the needle carefully on the edge of the black vinyl.

“
Bei Mir Bist Du Shein…” A voice sultry female sang out in German.

“You like it?”
Mr. Taylor asked

“Oh yes
, very much.”

“Come, dance with me.”

“I don’t know how.” Zofia said blushing, she felt inferior. She’d never learned to dance. There had been no one to teach her.

“Come on
.” He took her hand “I’ll show you. You’ll get this quickly; you have a great sense of rhythm.”

At
first, she was clumsy. But the smooth beat of the swing music took hold and she began to loosen up. Giggling as he spun and flipped her.

“I love this.” She laughed. “I can’t remember when I had so much fun.”

“I’m glad.” He smiled, his eyes twinkling.

He is so attractive. He would make the perfect husband. I don’t care if he is Jewish or not. I like him so much.
I could see us living happily together in this apartment. I would decorate it a little bit; add a few touches here and there.

The piecing whistle
of the teakettle brought her back to reality.

“I’ll be right back.” Donald winked at her.

In a few minutes, Donald returned with a plate of shortbread biscuits a pot of tea a small bowl of sugar and two cups on a tray.

“I am so glad you came today. I don’t know if I should tell you this. It is certainly out
of line and I hope you will not take it in the wrong way, but…well…I think you are the prettiest girl in my class.”

Z
ofia quickly glanced at Donald, and then turned away. She knew her face was deep red. But she was so flattered. Perhaps it was true…perhaps he really did like her…perhaps they would marry…

“You really think so?”
Zofia said her voice small and cracked.

“Undoubtedly
, I thought so from the first day.”

Involuntarily she sat up a little straighter. “No one has ever told me that I was pretty before.”
She bit her lower lip.

“That’s because the boys in your grade are just that, boys. Any man, who is a
man, would tell you that you are gorgeous.”

“Oh…”
The word caught in her throat.

He laughed. “And you’re even lovelier when you blush.”

She cast her eyes down. Looking desperately for something to do to cover the awkwardness she felt she poured the tea. A small puddle formed on the tray.

“I’m sorry, I’ve spilled it.” She said putting the teapot down she picked up the linen napkin and began to clean the mess.

He took her hand in his it was small and soft. “No need to clean up.” He said. “I’ll take care of that later.” She dropped the cloth.

“Your hand…the skin is so s
oft.” He caressed her hand. She did not pull away.

Then he opened the palm and brought it to his lips. He is in love with me too, the same as I have been with him all these months. She thought and h
er eyes glazed over with passion and joy.

“You are very special to me,
Zofia,” He whispered, his voice was husky.

Without another
word, he took her into his arms and kissed her. It was the first time any man had kissed Zofia. She shivered in his arms but her body went limp as she yielded to the warmth. It had been years since anyone touched her and she was starved for the affection. At first, she was timid. But when he kissed her, again her arms went around him. His kiss became more demanding. She didn’t back away; instead, she found that her desire met his. Donald leaned her back on the sofa. He gazed into her eyes.

“
Zofia…” He whispered. But that was not what Zofia heard, what she heard was “I love you,” even though he never said it.

Everything happened very fast. Nature, youth, and hormones took over and before
Zofia realized how far things had gone, she and Don had consummated their friendship and become lovers.

Once he’d finished he stood up, clearly sobered by his actions.

“I’m sorry, Zofia. I don’t know what got into me.” He brushed the hair out of his eyes and quickly pulled his pants on zipping them.

She didn’t answer. Why was he sorry? She wasn’t sorry.

“Please, forgive me. Let’s pretend that this never happened.”

“Why? I am not sorry it happened.” She said.

“Zofia, I am too old for you and besides I am your teacher. I didn’t mean to take liberties with you. My goodness, you were just so lovely and so willing…What did I do? You must promise to keep this a secret because if anyone finds out I will be fired from the school.”

“I would never tell anyone. It is our special secret. But” she hesitated
, her heart breaking a little. “You are not too old for me. I am very mature for my age.” She sat up pulling her clothes back around her body, suddenly ashamed of her nakedness.

“
That you are. But you deserve better than me, I am nothing more than an old alcoholic schoolteacher. You have your whole life ahead of you. There will be many men, better men than me.” He spoke fast, his hand continually running through his long hair.

Then even though the s
ofa was dark in color, he saw the spot of blood.

“Oh” he said as if he’d been hit by a train. “I had no idea. You were a virgin?”

“Yes.” She hung her head, could not look directly at him.

“I’m sorry. I really am.” He walked over to the kitchen counter and poured himself a shot
of vodka.  After he drank it in a single gulp, he poured another.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“I think its best that you do.” Donald was flushed “Here take the record player and this pile of records. They are a gift, no need to return them.” He said handing her the coat and hat she’d worn to his apartment and loading the heavy pile of records and player onto the table in front of her.

She was trembling and holding back the tears as she put her coat on. There should be something she could say, but she could think
of nothing. She wanted to say, I thought you loved me, but the words would not come.  Instead, Donald ushered her out and before she knew it, Zofia was walking home carrying a heavy load.

After he closed the
door, Donald threw his vodka glass at the wall his face burnt with anger. Why couldn’t he stop seducing these young students?  This was dangerous he could lose his job, and maybe worse.

Chapter
9

When Lena arrived at Zofia’s house, on Monday morning Zofia was still in bed but she got up to answer the door.

“Are you sick?” Lena asked.

“I’m not going to school today.”

“I can see that. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I think I am going to quit.”

“Are you crazy? You lov
e school. Why would you leave?”

“I am going to work full time. My mother and I need the money.”

“It’s only a few months to graduation, why don’t you just stick it out?”

“I can’t we need the money now. I am going to talk to my boss and see if he will give me more hours.”

“Are you sure, Zof?”

“Yes, I am sure.”

“Then I guess I should go. I’ll see you later, after school maybe?”

“
Maybe… I don’t know what hours Mr. Bidowsky will want me to work.

“I’ll try to drop by and see if you’re here.”

“All right.”

Z
ofia did not go to work that day. She stayed in bed. When Lena knocked at the door after school, she didn’t answer. How could she have been such an idiot? How could she have made such a fool of herself? Her mother’s demands continued. She had been ill for so long now that she did not get out of bed unless she had to go to the bathroom. Zofia realized that her mother’s illness was more mental than physical. She had died inside when she lost her husband and now she just lay in bed waiting for the time she would join him. Usually Zofia brought her trays of food and tried her best to engage her in light conversation. But today Zofia had her own bundle of emotions to contend with and so she just got out of bed to bring her mother a slice of bread with a little butter and some tea. Then she sat on the chair in the living room gazing out at nothing and wondering where she could go from here. Determined not to face Mr. Taylor, Donald, she decided that she was going to find work, full time work and leave school forever. She would miss her friends and she’d always done well in her studies, but seeing him and reliving her humiliation was far too much to bear. Tomorrow she would ask Mr. Bidowsky to teach her more about the diamond business. Up until now, she’d done little more than keep the store clean, and occasionally help a customer. Perhaps he might hire her to learn the trade.

Lena came by again the following morning.
Zofia ached to get dressed and go off to school. She felt empty inside as if a part of her life had ended, and ended abruptly. But she could not bring herself to face him.  So, she bid Lena farewell, got dressed and walked to Bidowsky’s Jewelry store. 

“
Zofia, what brings you here so early in the morning?” Mrs. Bidowsky asked.

“I have a problem. I need to talk to you and Mr. Bidowsky.”

“Yes, dear of course, come in, you want some tea, maybe a little something to eat?”

“No thank you.
”

“Sammie,
Zofia, is here. She needs to talk to us. Come take a minute.”

The Bidowsky’s lived behind the store in a small apartment.
Zofia followed Mrs. Bidowsky back to the small kitchen where they both sat down at the table.

Mrs. Bidowsky took a small glass jug
of milk out of the icebox.

“Here, you’ll have a little milk?”

“No, thank you. I’m fine.”

“I insist. You can’t come to my house and not have a little bit something
...” Mrs. Bidowsky said smiling. She poured a glass milk and gave Zofia a thick slice of bread. “You should eat a little bit, you’re so skinny.” She smiled at Zofia then called out again “Sam? Come on, what are you doing?”

“All right, give me a minute…I’m coming.”

When they were all seated, Zofia looked at the kind of faces of her boss and his wife. Then she thought, God forgive me for lying.

“Mr. and Mrs. Bidowsky, my mother and I have fallen on hard times. As you know my mother
, Selda is ill, bedridden. It seems that the money my father left us is running out. I must leave school and find full time work. Can you extend my hours? I am willing to learn the business so that I can help you even more efficiently.”

Mr.
Bidowsky ran his hand over his beard. “I don’t know if I can afford to give you any more hours. My son George is finishing school and he will need a job.”

“What can we do to help her?” Mrs. Bidowsky asked.
She was a heavyset woman with a round face, soft blue eyes, and a warm smile.

“I can give you a little bit
of money. Perhaps that will help.”

“No, I don’t want to take your money. I am looking for a trade.
Something for the future” She said.

“You don’t want
to finish school?’ Mrs. Bidowsky said.

“I can’t. I need
to find work for my mother and I.”

The older woman nodded.

“You know, I heard that the seamstress, Mrs. Kolowsky is looking for a girl to apprentice. She is only a few blocks from here. Do you sew?” Mrs. Bidowsky asked.

“I haven’t but I could learn.
I am a quick learner.”