You Are My Sunshine: A Novel Of The Holocaust (All My Love Detrick Companion Novel) (10 page)

“No, nothing, you do enough already.”

“Mama
,” Zofia hesitated. Her mother did not look at her; she continued to stare at the wall. Zofia wished she didn’t have to tell her. But soon the cries of an infant would echo through the house.  She had to be made aware of what was to come.

“I have something to tell you.”

Her mother did not answer.

“I am pregnant. I think the baby will be born in October.” Z
ofia swallowed hard.

Her mother found a burst
of angry energy. Zofia had not seen her so enraged in years.

“A shanda
(a scandal) you will never marry a decent boy. How could you let something like this happen? Did someone force himself on you?”

“
No mama. I am sorry.”

“Go out
of my room. I am sick when I look at you. As if we didn’t suffer enough, now you have brought shame upon us. How could you do this to me? How?” Mrs. Weiss said.

That night Z
ofia’s mother refused to eat. The next day she refused again. She would not speak to her daughter at all. Instead, she just laid staring at the wall and shaking her head. Zofia was filled with guilt, but she hoped that once her mother saw the child her heart would soften. Eventually, she would get hungry, and she had to eat.

On
Monday, Zofia went to work. When she returned that evening her mother had slit her wrist, she was dead.

Chapter 10

Dr
Goebbels leaned back in the chair behind his desk, smiling.

“So Manfred, since the Fuehrer was coming to
Berlin, to see me anyway, he has agreed to come to the wedding. You are a very lucky man. He is bringing Reichsführer Himmler with him. Do you realize what an honor this is? Your bride will be overcome with excitement. However, since our leaders will be attending we must change the venue. I am sure your bride will understand. The wedding will take place at the Nazi Headquarters. There we should be able to follow the traditions properly and that will make our Fuehrer proud.”

“
Of course, whatever you think should be done. I am so indebted to you, Dr. Goebbels that I can never thank you enough for all you have done for me.” Manfred was a little concerned. Christa had to make a lot of concessions.

Goebbels
smiled. His teeth large and protruding, his bone structure jutting through his delicate skin. Manfred was once again taken a back at how much he resembled the death head symbol.

“You tell your lovely bride that we are all looking forward to her bringing us plenty
of Aryan children.  She and her parents must be very excited for the wedding and of course for our honored guests.”

“Oh yes, they are sir. Manfred thought about his future father in law.
Somehow, he would have to find a way to win the old man over. It was essential that Dr. Henkener not cause any problems for the couple. If things continued as they were going now, Manfred would be rising in the party. He and Christa would have a big family, plenty of money and a life he could never have dreamed of before Hitler’s rise to power.

Chapter
11

It was almost five o’clock. But Thomas Henkener had waited for a special patient to arrive.

“Hershel, come in. Please.” Dr
Henkener said. “How are you? How have you been? And the family?”

“Alright, they are alright, Thomas.”

“I brought you Dr. Shulman’s chart, do you need anything else?” Hilde, Dr. Alder’s nurse and oldest friend entered.

“No thank you Hilde
.”  Dr Henkener said. “That will be all Hilde. Thank you.”

After the nurse closed the door, Dr
Henkener spoke in a whisper. “I called you to come here because I want to talk to you.”

“Yes,
of course Thomas, what is it?”

“I want to help you,
you, and your family.”

“Thomas, I couldn’t let you do that. I shouldn’t even be here now. It is dangerous for both
of us.”

“You are in worse danger than I am. Have you thought about leaving Germany?”

“I have thought
about it, but I am a doctor, my patients are here. They need me.” Dr Shulman said.

“
Yes, but that demonstration on Kristallnacht a few months ago was terrifying and I am afraid that things are only going to get worse here for Jews. Look at the laws going into effect. Things are happening around us all the time, horrifying things.”

“I agree with you things are bad, but how can I leave. How can I leave all
of the patients who need me? Don’t you think that this fire under Hitler will burn out? I have always had faith in the German people. They are smart, cultured, it is just a matter of time, and this whole thing will blow over. But you are a good friend to offer me your advice. I will keep it in mind.”

“You have always been there for me and my family. I will never forget what you did for Christa. She was such a sick child, bad
heart. We knew it as soon as we saw the blue lips when she was born. You helped her.”

“
Yes, well, that is what we doctors do, isn’t it Thomas?”

“It is, we heal. And when we can…we save lives. I
am here if you should need me, anytime at all.”

“It is probably best that I stop coming by your
office and you stop coming by mine. It will only bring us trouble.” Dr. Shulman said.

“I don’t care Hershel. I will not deny our friendship.”

“Do it for my sake. For the sake of my family if you won’t do it for yourself.”

“If you ask, I will stay away from you.”

“Just until this is all over with the Nazi’s, I tell you it’s temporary. People are frightened. But such a fanatical dictator cannot last in such a civilized country like ours.  Soon everyone will have had enough. Then everything will be as it was before. I will come back to the hospital and we will work together again. You’ll see.”  Dr. Shulman smiled. He patted his old friends back. Then he left the office and headed as quickly as he could out of the gentile sector of town.

Chapter
12

Everything for the wedding was planned to coincide with the visit that Hitler and Himmler’s would make to the Minister of Propaganda’s office. Goebbels had involved the entire office to insure every detail be perfect. In fact to show how much affection he felt for Manfred, Dr. Goebbels planned to preside over the wedding himself.

It was on a morning in earl
y May. Manfred awoke his stomach tight with nerves and excitement. Although he’d dreamed of this day, he, an awkward, unattractive boy from a poor family could hardly have expected a life like this to ever become a reality.  But here he was, Manfred Blau, about to marry the girl of his dreams, in a ceremony attended by the highest, most revered, men in the land. He was awestruck, delighted beyond his wildest dreams, but secretly he fought against a nagging fear. A part of him that whispered in the night,
I am a fraud. What if they find out I am not as talented an artist as they believe me to be? What if they find out I am not as strong as they are, that I don’t really fit in? Or the worst what if they realize that I am nothing but the poorest specimen of an Aryan and hardly worth the position I’ve been awarded?
It was hard to forget how clumsy he’d been in the Hitler Jugend, how the other boys had made fun of him, how the girls had giggled behind their hands watching him as he failed.  No doubt, about it, Manfred was the slowest runner and he was never chosen by anyone to be on a team when they played fútbol or any other sport. Fencing and archery took far more physical strength and agility than he possessed. However, now, because of Dr. Goebbels, he was far above all of them, those mindless athletes who stood around in groups taunting him so sure that they were his superiors. If only he could silence that annoying voice.  If only, somehow he could believe in Manfred, in his own worth.

Manfred
took his dress black uniform out of the closet and put it on. The night before he’d spent an hour polishing his shoes to a high shine. He combed his blond hair back from his face with a little water and hair cream. When he looked in the mirror, a handsome man stared back at him. His features were chiseled, and although he was small and slender, the uniform gave him presence.

With Hitler attending the wedding all
of the plans that Christa and Manfred had originally made as a couple had to be changed in order to create the Fuehrer’s ideal wedding. Manfred knew by the look on her face that the changes disappointed Christa, but when he’d explained the necessity of his actions as an important career move, she’d agreed. It was hard to believe that Christa was as easy going as she was beautiful. Fortune certainly had smiled upon him.

The building
at the Nazi Headquarters was decked out for the occasion, with Nazi flags suspended from the ceiling, life runes laid out on the altar, and pictures of Adolf Hitler hung in expensive wood frames on the walls. All of the flowers had been changed from roses to golden sunflowers, because these were the flowers Hitler had chosen to represent the Third Reich.  The bride would carry a simple bouquet of sunflowers adorned with fir twigs.  This gnawed at Manfred, because he knew how much Christa loved roses. But, Manfred dared not disappoint Goebbels.  So, he decided that  he would make this up to  Christa, He vowed to himself to see to it that every week of their lives together as husband and wife he would bring her roses to make up for her sacrifice.  A red runner with a swastika in the center had been placed on the aisle for the couple to walk down.   At the end of the aisle stood the alter and a large brass urn, burning brightly with the eternal flame.

And so it began…

The band played a simple German folk song.

Manfred
walked down the aisle alone and stood at the front of the alter waiting as Dr. Henkener escorted his daughter to her new husbands side.

When he saw Christa, Manfred
felt a pang of guilt for a moment because under Dr. Goebbels insistent suggestion he’d requested that Christa wear a traditional German folk dress instead of her mother’s gown. Again, she had made the concession. To make it up to her, Manfred had purchased the finest fabric he could find for the dressmaker to design the wedding dress. Now as she walked towards him in her full colorful skirt with the golden threads and puffy sleeve blouse she looked to him like the most stunning example of German womanhood.

Christa
came closer. Manfred stood staring at her in awe at how beautiful she truly was. Her golden hair caught the glow from the eternal fire illuminating it until it looked like a halo of sunshine caressing her head.  She smiled at him and her tender blue eyes melted his heart like snow on the first warm spring morning.

Dr Henkener placed his daughter’s hand in
Manfreds. Then he went to sit in the front row of the audience.

Manfred and Christa turned
to face the Alter.

Together they stood before Dr.
Goebbels and swore their oaths of loyalty to each other and to the party. Manfred had purchased gold bands with tiny swastikas engraved all around them. They exchanged the rings. There were tears in Christa’s eyes.

“I love you.” Manfred mouthed the words that he could not speak aloud because
Goebbels was handing him the bread that he would share with his bride.

“This bread is a symbol
of the earth’s fruitfulness and purity.” Goebbels said.

Manfred broke a piece and handed it to Christa together they took a bite.

Next, an officer brought a heavy oak box that was carved with runes. Goebbels opened the box and took a book from inside.

“This is a gift to you from the Reich.”
Goebbels handed Manfred a copy of Hitler’s book “Mein Kampf.”

“Thank you, sir.” Manfred said.

“You’re welcome. You are now man and wife.  And may you both be very fruitful and produce many Aryan children for our fatherland.”

Manfred smiled at
Goebbels and then at Christa. He took her hand and kissed it.  Then he led her through a crowd of saluting SS men, his heart pounding with joy. These were his people; here he was loved and accepted. Here he was at home.

Chapter
13

Once the ceremony was over the wedding party and their guests were escorted into a large banquet hall. Overhead crystal chandeliers twinkled casting a soft glow over the embossed china and crystal. In the center of the tables were large arrangements of dazzling yellow sunflowers their heads dipping over their sparkling vases.

The entire party was seated including Manfred and Christa before Doctor
Goebbels and Himmler entered. The two stood behind their chairs as the band played a marching song and Adolf Hitler entered the room. He wore a smile and greeted the guests as he walked by, shaking their hands and patting their children’s cheeks. When he arrived at his seat, he turned to the crowd and raised his hand in a salute.  Everyone stood returning the salute and calling out “Heil Hitler.”

Everyone except Dr. Henkener