You Are My Sunshine: A Novel Of The Holocaust (All My Love Detrick Companion Novel) (35 page)

And that was why,
Zofia never left.

Sometime late that afternoon,
stillness settled over the camp. Both Christa and Katja were awake now. Katja was hungry and continually asking for food. 

“We have to go back.” Christa said. “Do you think it’s safe yet?”

“I don’t know.”

“Mama, I’m hungry.”
Katja said again tugging at the hem of Zofia’s uniform.

“I know my sunshine
, I know. You will have something to eat very soon.” Zofia had taken to calling Katja little sunshine.

This would quiet
Katja for a few minutes and then she would remind Zofia of her hunger again.

“We have to take our chances and go back.” Christa said. “Do you agree?”

“Yes. We have no food.” Zofia said. She stood up, brushed the branches and dirt off her clothes. Then she helped Christa to her feet, gathered Katja into her arms, and the three headed back to the house.

Everything was just as they’d left it. Manfred had not returned since the previous night.  Z
ofia secretly hoped he might have been killed in the uprising. She hoped that all of the Nazis had been murdered during the night.  That would make everything easier if only the prisoners never raided the house. She would care for Christa and Katja. They would stay in the house. And as soon as it was safe, Zofia would find Eidel and bring her back to live with the other two. Zofia would explain to Christa, she was sure Christa would understand.

But that was a
daydream. The door opened and Manfred entered his eyes bloodshot, wild with fear and exhaustion. His clothing reeked of smoke and his hair stood on end disheveled.

“The prisoners went mad. They destroyed the entire camp. It’s in shambles. They were wild and dangerous. It’s been a terrible night. I’m waiting for orders from my superior
officers.”

“Are you alr
ight?” Christa’s skin was pale and her eyes puffy with lack of sleep. “Is it safe for us to stay here?”

“For now, I think so.  I’m tired. I’m going to bed.” He took a flask out
of his pocket and took a swig.

Christa looked over at Z
ofia with worried eyes.

“Hungry.”
Katja said.

“May I give her something to eat?”

“Of course, and please have something yourself. I have to lie down. I am feeling terribly weak.” Christa said.

Chapter 53

On August 18
th
and 19
th
, 1943, in a bold attempt to resist the treatment they’d endured,  the prisoners  at Treblinka, emaciated, disease ridden and weak, staged an uprising.  Following this most unexpected display of force, most of the inmates who had not escaped, were transferred to Sobibor (a death camp) where they were executed. Approximately twenty to thirty brave souls remained at Treblinka they too were murdered.  Then in Oct of 1943, the Nazi’s shut Treblinka down forever. 

Chapter
54

In the weeks that followed, Zofia sensed the tension in the house. Manfred did not come to her in the night and she was glad that he didn’t but also afraid she might be sent back to the barracks. At night while she was in the basement, she could hear raised voices coming from upstairs. Although she could not make out what they were saying, Zofia knew that frequent arguments broke out between Christa and Manfred, where she heard her name mentioned but she could not hear the entire conversations. It unnerved her. What were they planning? She wanted to ask Christa, but she was afraid to overstep her bounds. Christa had been kind to her, but she must never forget that she was little more than a slave and at any time could be returned to the camp or worse.

It had been weeks since they’d sat outside under the tree.

“Ma’am, would you like to get some fresh air?” Zofia asked one morning in late September. The weather had cooled and she thought it would be good for Christa.

“Sit down Z
ofia.”

Z
ofia sat on the edge of the bed. Katja came rushing in.

“Play with me Mama.”
Katja handed Zofia a doll.

“In a minute, little sunshine,
I am talking to your mother right now.”

“U
p”

Z
ofia picked Katja up and propped her on her lap.

“I should not be telling you this. If Manfred
knew, he would never forgive me. But you have always been helpful to me and so I must give you some advanced notice. What I am about to tell you is top secret.”

Z
ofia felt the hairs prickle on the back of her neck, and she shivered.

“Z
ofia, we are leaving here, Manfred, Katja and I. The camp is being destroyed. That is probably a very good thing. However, I will miss you terribly. I cannot take you with me. I’ve begged, believe me I have begged. Manfred wanted to have you transported to another camp. I pleaded with him not to. He has finally agreed. Instead, we are just going to move in the middle of the night. If you stay here at the house, the other Nazi officers will come and find you. They will send you to another concentration camp. However, since this house is off the campgrounds, on the night we leave, you could easily slip into the forest unnoticed. Take some food with you and go. Get as far away from here as you can. I wish I could offer you more. But I cannot. I have no more to offer. When this is all over, please, try to come to find Katja and me. She will need you.”

Katja
reached up, and played with the hair that Zofia had regrown. Her tiny fingers curled into the dark locks.

Z
ofia looked at the baby, then back at Christa.

“She will be alright, a
t least for now. I pray that my health won’t give out until you can take her.  I know you will miss her. But things have taken a bad turn and we must go. Manfred insists.  Again, please promise me, when the war is over you will try to find Katja. She will need you.”

Z
ofia’s head was reeling. She felt slightly dizzy. “I don’t know…what about Manfred?”

“Promise me, you will try
to find her…”

“I promise, I will do my best. I don’t know what the future brings.”

“Oh Zofia, nor do I”

“
When should I leave?”

“We are going tonight. Listen closely
after it gets dark. As soon as you hear we are gone, take what you can and run. No one should come by the house until morning.”

“Yes ma
’am. Thank you for helping me.”

“Z
ofia, if circumstances had been different, we might have been two friends having lunch at each other’s homes, but the Nazi’s and the war, and my husband made things the way they are. All we can do is try to cope with what has been given to us.”

Z
ofia held Katja a little tighter. She closed her eyes and inhaled Katja’s baby scent. Tears threatened, but she did not cry. Zofia nodded her head.

“God be with you, Z
ofia. Please… Don’t forget us.”

That night Z
ofia listened. She heard the movement upstairs. Katja was crying, calling out for her mama.  She wanted to go to the child, to comfort her, but she could not. Footsteps on the floor above her, whispers in the darkness, and then silence.

Z
ofia waited for almost half an hour to be sure that the Blau’s were gone. Then she ran up the stairs gathered as much food as she could carry and wrapped it in a towel. She took the largest of the flasks from the cabinet and filled it with water. Then she added a large butcher knife from the drawer to the things she would take with her. Next, she ran to the bedroom where she had cared for Christa these last years.  Christa had left several dresses and under garments. Zofia quickly changed her clothes abandoning the camp uniform.  Her hair had grown back to just touching her shoulders, so the tell tale sign of the shaved head would not give her away. Still, she took a scarf to cover her hair from Christa’s drawer. Now she would look like any other Polish woman and no one would suspect that she was an escaped Jew. Zofia gazed into the mirror. It had been a long time since she studied her appearance. She’d grown older since the days of life with Fruma and Gitel. Fine lines had begun to form around her eyes, eyes that had seen far too much misery. Her dark curly hair fell about her face. Her figure was slender. All in all, she was not unattractive. In fact, some might even call her pretty. She sighed. Once, long ago, being beautiful seemed to be the most important thing in the world to her, how little all of that mattered now.  As she passed through the kitchen, she took another hunk of bread and began eating. Then she stepped out of the house, never looked back, and headed as quickly as she could going forward into the unknown.

Darkness hovered over her but the moon shed just enough light for her
to find her way. And quietly, like a shadow in the night Zofia left the home of the Arbeitsführer and disappeared into the darkness on the way into the forest.

Her heart was heavy with a jumble
of emotions. She was free and for the longest time it had been her dream to be away from the camp away from the horrible Arbeitsführer…at last to be free. But she was also on her own, in the dark, in the forest. From now on, she must fend for herself. She must take great care not to be captured, for if she was there was no telling where she might end up. Zofia knew that she had been lucky to be sent to work in the home of the Arbeitsführer, even with all she had to endure; she had seen enough of the camp to know what could happen if she had not been chosen as a house servant. She’d spent those first months in the barracks with the dirt, starvation and disease before Manfred had decided she should stay at the house.  IF she had remained at the camp, she would probably have gotten typhoid when the epidemic broke out. Christa had allowed her to bathe and she’d been so grateful to be clean. But she knew that her fellow Jews were much less fortunate. And she should be captured; she would know their fate first hand.   The forest buzzed with life. A wolf howled in the distance, a night bird cawed; the hooting of an owl came from above her.  A thick odor of vegetation mixed with flowers surrounded her. Dear God, help Katja, and Christa, watch over them.  She thought as she walked quickly, the brush sometimes scraping against her legs, until she was well into the protective thick blanket of trees. Then once she was sure, she was far away from the house and the camp, Zofia sat down. A small rodent scampered across the ground startling her. Taking a deep breath, Zofia leaned her head against the rough bark of an oak tree and closed her eyes. Katja, the tiny face appeared in her mind.  Soon, she would start asking for Zofia. Katja, her only sunshine since she’d come to this place. Where were they taking her, would she be safe? Why do I care? So many Jewish babies have suffered, why should I care for this spoiled little Aryan girl? This child who has never known pain or loss. Why, why do I care?  But she did care. With her whole heart, she cared. Katja was an innocent, a victim too, although she did not know it. The child had been bred like a puppy to be what the Nazi’s wanted her to be, a blond haired blue eyed Aryan. They’d decided before Katja was born that she would grow up to hate the Jews, but they’d not counted upon Zofia.  Katja, her tiny fingers lost in Zofia’s curls. Her giggles when Zofia tickled her chubby little tummy. The way she sat, her face serious, eyes glowing, as Zofia told her a fairy tale in Polish. Would the little girl even remember her? Probably not, she was far too young to remember.

Z
ofia looked up at the sky filled with stars. A full moon winked at her. She pulled her knees up to her chest. So much loss…  Everyone and everything she’d ever loved had been taken from her. Yes, I am alive, but I am alone, except for Eidel, my Eidel. I must find her. Then she realized that she must stay far away from Eidel at least for now. If she showed up in Eidel’s life, she would endanger her baby, Helen and her family, and herself. Right now, Eidel was safe. She must not threaten that safety in any way even if she longed to see her more than anything in the world. Eidel, at least Eidel was safe.

The unfamiliar
noises of the forest frightened her keeping her awake through the night. She could not help but remember the night she’d spent under the umbrella of the trees holding little Katja as she watched the smoke rise from the camp in the distance. There was no doubt in her mind, she would miss that little girl, and someday, if it were safe, she’d find a way back to the child.  Wrapping her arms around herself, Zofia’s thoughts drifted to Fruma, Gitel, and Marsha. She’d tried for so long to suppress her feelings of sadness and loss. It was hard to believe they were all dead. And, Dovid? What of Dovid? She’d never been in love with him, but in a way, she’d loved him. And his only crime had been falling in love with her. It was best not to let the guilt consume her. If she did, she might just lay her tired head down in the cool grass and sleep until she died. She was so tired, so exhausted, so utterly spent. No, she must find the strength to go on. Soon, this would all end. Soon, it would be safe to go to Eidel.

When the sun peaked through the trees, Z
ofia stood up. Her head ached, and her throat was parched. She must look for water. It took a moment to stretch the stiffness from her back and legs after a night lying on the hard ground.