A Flawed Heart (20 page)

“Heidi, good to see you.
Uh, how
are you?”

I feel fucking awkward, but she seems elated to have run
into me. She grips my shirt and leans up to whisper in my ear, her closeness
makes me uncomfortable.

“I’m good. I’m here with Rich and Craig. I’ve really missed
you, Jason. I think about you all the time.” She plants a kiss on my cheek.

I put my hands on her shoulders to push her off of me, but
she misinterprets my movement and wraps her arms around my neck.

“God damn it, Jason!”

I look up and see Claire standing in front of me with her
hands on her hips. She shakes her head and bolts for the door. I push Heidi off
of
me,
and race after her.

When I get out on the sidewalk I’m hit in the face with
rain. It’s fucking pouring, and people are running and scattering down the
sidewalk as they try to hail cabs or get in out of the downpour. I look to the
left and right, trying to find her in the crowd. Her red skirt catches my eye
and I take off after her.

“Claire! Claire, wait. Claire, please!”

I bump into several people in my pursuit of her, ignoring
them as they curse me out. She stops at an intersection and looks left and
right. She has no idea where she’s going and this is my chance to catch up with
her. She strains to make out the street signs, shielding her eyes from the
raindrops. Just as I approach her she steps into the street without noticing
the “don’t walk” signal.

My heart pounds and I feel my stomach drop.
As cab is speeding down the street right toward Claire.
I
reach out and grab her just in time, and pull her out of the street and then
back her up against the wall of the nearest building.

“Jesus! Will you fucking wait? You almost got yourself
killed!” My heart pounds as I grip her arms. Her mascara is running down her
cheek and her wet hair sticks to the brick behind her.

“Let me go. It’s constant bullshit with you! Who was that
girl?”

“Calm down, please. That was my
ex,
she found me standing at the bar. She was just saying hello.”

“Right.
Is there
one
girl in this city you haven’t
fucked? Is that what I am to you, Jason?
Just a fuck?”

“No. That’s not what you are.”

She takes a breath and I relax my grip on her. I tilt her
chin up with my fingertips so I can look in her eyes.

“I’m in love with you, Claire.”

She stands there, staring at me, soaking wet and silent. I
feel fear creep up as I wait for her to respond. Her eyes search mine and I run
my thumb over the beautiful pink blush that has risen in her cheeks. Her angry
expression melts into bliss and she jumps up and wraps her arms around my neck.

“I love you too. I love you.”

I push her back against the wall and kiss her with
everything I have—everything I feel in my heart and soul.

Chapter Ten

~Claire~

He glides his hands over my thighs, up my arms, across my
face, through my hair. Jason finds my neck with his mouth and I kiss his
forehead, tasting his sweet flesh through the rainwater. I breathe in the scent
of his damp hair, and he holds my hips as he lifts me and moves us around the
corner, into the shadows of the alley.

The heavy rain falls and hisses as it hits the pavement. The
once crowded streets are now deserted. Jason grips my hands in his and presses
them over my head. The brick scrapes my wrists. He kisses my throat again and I’m
reminded of our first kiss, in the alley behind Alexa’s. My flesh grows hot in
spite of the cool breeze that blows across my soaking wet body. Jason’s expert
touch causes my flesh to tingle everywhere.

I’m dizzy with the knowledge that this gorgeous, amazing man
loves
me.
All of the doubt I felt earlier dissolves with each of his
touches. He groans and thrusts his hips into mine. Lust overcomes me when I
feel his huge cock, rock hard and rubbing between my legs. He slides his hands
down my arms and pushes my skirt further up my hips. He grips my panties and
slides them over my ass. I look over his shoulder, scanning the streets for
anyone who could catch us here in the shadows. He sees me look—his eyes are
clouded with lust as he pants and licks the rainwater off of his lips.

“I need you—now. I don’t give a fuck
who
sees us.”

He tugs harder on my panties in his lust filled frenzy, and
I hear the fabric tear. His eyes dart to mine. His craze breaks momentarily,
and is exchanged for an apologetic look. I smile and replace his hand with mine,
and rip them from my body. He grins at me with his eyes on my lips, and I laugh
as I toss my demolished underwear to the side. His strong fingers are inside me
and the rainwater runs down my body and mingles with the wetness that has
already risen on my aching lips. Jason’s thumb caresses my clit and his fingers
pulse. He looks down to watch what his hand is doing to my body, and puts his
forehead to mine as he continues to pump his long, thick fingers in and out of
me. I run my hand along his stubble-ridden jaw, and I become breathless as he
arouses me with his skilled fingers. My skin throbs and I dig my nails into his
scalp as pleasure runs through me.

“Oh, God.
Jason.”

He opens his belt and pushes his pants aside, just enough to
release his huge cock. I feel my heartbeat quicken at the sight of it. He grips
my leg, brings my knee to his waist and pushes inside me. I gasp and cry out
and he curses and cradles my head in his hand. He grips my ass and he squeezes
it as he thrusts.

“Fuck, I love you.” Jason’s mouth slides down to my neck and
his body tenses. I know he’s close to coming. He pulses against me as my hips
slam back against the brick. Then, suddenly, he pulls out. He covers my lips
with a kiss and pushes his tongue deep into my mouth. He grabs my hand and places
it around his cock, then covers my hand with his. He strokes his cock as he
kisses me and our hands jerk up and down together until I feel his release.

He slides his tongue along my lips and we catch our breath.
The rain has subsided into a drizzle and I hear footsteps approach. Jason yanks
my skirt down and pulls me into his arms, pressing my face against his shoulder
as he shields me against his body. I feel him begin to shake, and I look up to
see that he’s laughing.

His eyes are sparkling, and there’s is more happiness there
than I’ve ever seen. His joy is contagious, and I laugh with him as I help him
to close up his pants. He pushes my rain-soaked hair from my face, and I’m
suddenly self-conscious about what a mess I must look like.

“I must look terrible. My eye makeup has probably melted
into a raccoon’s mask.”

“I’ve never seen anyone look more beautiful than you do,
right now.” He kisses me and takes my hand. “Let’s go.”

We jog through the rain back to his car. Once we’re sealed
inside he blasts the heat. My wet clothes are uncomfortable and cling to my
skin but it’s a minor annoyance and doesn’t distract from how incredible I feel
right now.
Everything is so perfect. I’m
so lucky.

“We’re
gonna
stay at my dad’s
tonight. I want to get you out of those wet clothes.”

“Will he be home?”

“No. He’s working a night shift at the hospital. We’ll be
totally alone.”

My face gets hot anticipating that prospect. Jason reads my
mind, and slides his hand along my inner thigh as he navigates the wet city
streets with one hand on the wheel.

* * * *

We arrive at Jason’s childhood home and, after receiving a
judgmental look from the doorman, we arrive at the eighteenth floor. The
apartment is completely dark, and I wait in the foyer for Jason to flick on the
lights. He stands in the living room next to the piano, and I’m reminded of the
first time I came here with Lydia. Everything is so different now.

“Why don’t you go pick some dry clothes out of Lydia’s closet,
and meet me in my bedroom?”

I do as he asks, finding Lydia’s obscene array of pajamas. I
put on a pair of pink, silk sleep shorts and a white tank. I wash my face and
towel-dry my ratty hair in Lydia’s bathroom. Then I pad down the hall to Jason’s
room. It looks just as I remember it—stark white, large windows, walls covered
in books and music—except this time, amid the sea of pillows on the bed, lays a
completely naked Jason Taylor. His body is amazing, muscular and toned, covered
in ink. I wring my hands together and walk over to him. His beauty continues to
make me nervous, even after what’s passed between us. A candle is lit by the
bedside and soft music plays from the stereo. I get into bed with him and am
enveloped in his heavenly scent and soft, warm skin. I smile, remembering the
first night I slept in this bed. How I dreamed of Jason—and touched myself
thinking about what he would be like, what he would do and say.
And now I’m here with him. He’s my
boyfriend. He loves me, and I love him.

“What are you smiling at?”

I look down at my hands embarrassed about what I’m about to
tell him. “I never told you this, but…I slept here on my first night in New
York.”

“Yeah, I know baby.”

I prop myself up on my elbow so that I can look at him.
“No, not in this
house
—
in
this
bed
.”

“Wait, you slept in my bed?” he asks, a smile playing on his
lips.

“Yeah, Lydia had me sleep in here. I sort of…thought about…what
you would be like…”

“You slept in my bed and thought about me?”

“Yeah, I kind of had a dream about you.”

“Do you have any idea how sexy that is?” He rolls over and
rubs his nose along my throat, and I feel myself melting further into his soft
bed. “What was the dream about?”

“Well, it was sort of like a fantasy. I thought about what
would have happened, if you came home and found me sleeping here.”

“And what did I do when I found you?” he asks, his mouth at
my ear. He slips his huge hand under my shirt and envelops my bare breast in
it. My nipple hardens at his touch, and his breath tingles on my skin.

I’m finding it difficult to speak. “Well, we took our
clothes off and…”

“And what?”
His eyes are on fire in
anticipation of what I’m about to say.

“How about I show you?”

Jason pulls away and his mouth drops open at my offer. He lies
back and puts his hands behind his head. His now beautifully hard length
protrudes from his body, on display for me.

“By all means, Claire, show me.” His voice is thick with
want, and I feel my body temperature rise in response. I sit up and slide my
top off and straddle his legs, then slide myself down toward his knees.

“Well, first I did this.” I bend down and wrap my lips
around his cock. He moans as I slowly circle the head with my tongue. I keep my
eyes on his as I tease his flesh with my mouth. He licks his lips, closes his
eyes, and then I stop and sit up. He looks to me with confusion and
disappointment.

“…and then what happened?” he asks.

“Then I let you fuck me.”

He growls as he sits up, grabs my elbows, and then flips me
down on my back. He reaches into his nightstand, pulls out a condom and unrolls
the latex over his length. I drag my fingernails over his thighs as I admire
him, and my breath quickens in anticipation. He pushes my legs apart and hovers
over me, supporting his weight on his forearms. His teeth gently bite my
shoulder as he enters me, and he thrusts so hard I can feel my flesh opening
for him. I grasp his soft hair and he looks deep into my eyes. Passion and
hunger lie there in the haunted, sea green, but I can also see a tenderness
that is new.

“I love you,” he says. He changes his pace to match his
gentle words. There’s something different now. Being with him like this is
about more than just physical pleasure. I feel connected to him with my body,
and my
heart
.

“I love you too. I love you, Jason.”

I kiss him as he rocks his body into me, his hands devouring
every part of my exposed flesh—my feet, my legs, my shoulders. The unhurried
pace allows me to truly appreciate how good he feels inside me. He kisses my
breasts with reverence, and I watch him do it. He brings his mouth to my ear as
he quickens his pace, and grips my hair.

“I was dead inside before you. I was lost. You’re everything
to me, Claire.”

Tears form in my eyes as he speaks. The depth of feeling he
has in his heart for me, and his willingness to expose it, pushes me to the
heights of pleasure. He thrusts into me harder and faster. I reach up and touch
his face. I want him to look at me so he can see what his words mean to me.

“I know. I know. I feel the same way.”

He kisses me and we find our release. I cry out, and he
squeezes the pillow beside my head. He lingers inside me and kisses my lips, my
cheeks, and my eyes. I trace my fingers over his back and feel my heart swell
as we lie there, adoring each other.

Eventually, Jason grabs his cigarettes and opens the window,
letting in the crisp, night air. We share a cigarette, talking about everything
and nothing, watching the lights shut off in windows across the city. He pulls
up the blanket and we lie staring into the darkness together.

Chapter Eleven

It’s dark. I can’t breathe or see where I am. Smoke fills
my lungs and I cough, trying to rid my body of the poison. I see a lone figure
beside the flames, close to being consumed by them. It’s Jason at the edge of
the blazing fire.

He looks like a demon being overtaken by flames. He doesn’t
belong here. I need to save him. I try to scream, but I can’t. I choke on the
noxious air and fumble toward where he stands so close to the flames—too close.