A Heart Divided (11 page)

Cord’s right
, Sarah thought.
We’ve both had a trying day and are tired. Neither of us are thinking straight, and that could get us both into trouble.

“I’d like to go to my room.”

He motioned toward the door. “As you wish.”

They made their way upstairs in silence. As she reached her door, he softly spoke her name. Sarah turned. “Yes?”

“I don’t want to fight with you anymore,” he said. “Can we at least finally have some peace between us?”

His eyes glowed bright and warm in the hallway’s lamplight. Her breath caught in her throat. In an instant, all the anger and indignation she’d felt in the library faded. She could only remember how gentle, how kind he’d been when Danny was sick.

“Thank you for all you’ve done for us,” she said, the emotions spilling from her heart to form words. “I know I’m short with you at times, and blame you for things you’ve never had any part of, but I also see you for the man you are. A good man. And, for the remainder of the time that Danny and I are here, I promise not to cause you any more trouble.” She smiled wanly. “It may not be quite the ‘peace’ between us you’d like, but it’s the least I can do.”

He stared down at her, his gaze inscrutable and, for an instant, she thought he might kiss her. The memory of the touch of his lips that first time flooded her, and she wanted, oh, how she wanted, to feel his mouth on hers again! She lifted her face to him, her lashes lowering, and waited.

“Fair enough,” he said and, reaching around her, opened her bedroom door. “Good night, Sarah.”

Her lids snapped open and she stared up into unfathomable black eyes. Shame flooded her at what she saw as her wanton behavior in again encouraging a kiss, an act Cord evidently no longer wished any part of. With a toss of her head, Sarah gathered her skirts and flounced into her room, shutting the door behind her.

Cord stared at the oaken door, then turned, walked down the hall, and entered his own bedroom. In all the distraction and conflict of the past days, he’d forgotten how potent an effect Sarah’s closeness had upon him. It was bad enough when she’d said that he was a good man. The words were sweet to his ears, but what really unmanned him was the look in her eyes as she’d said them. It was as if she’d seen clear down into his soul, and knew him.

Then the scent of her—fresh mown hay and wildflowers—wafted up to him, and her hair . . . How he’d wanted to sink his fingers into her hair and feel it tumble down about his hands! Ah, to take her into his arms and kiss her!

Muttering in frustration, Cord shrugged out of his shirt. His boots quickly joined it. Without bothering to pull down the coverlet, he threw himself onto the bed.

He cursed the day he’d ever met Sarah Caldwell. He hadn’t even known her a week, and already she was driving him mad. Barely out of girlhood, she played a woman’s game with consummate skill. But the way he craved her had nothing to do with admiration for her fine manner. No, far, far from it.

Well, it had to stop, this gut-twisting manipulation of hers. He had no other choice. To continue on this path with her would surely be his undoing.

Thank goodness Gabe would be back any day now. Gabe was the sheriff. Let him deal with the robbery and her family. The sooner he was free of Sarah, the better.

She was getting too close on many levels. And that frightened him more than he cared to admit.

“Emma, would you pack me a lunch basket?” Nick asked two weeks later. “I’ve a mind to take Sarah and Danny on a picnic.”

The housekeeper glanced up from her bed making. “Why, of course, Nicholas. It’s a fine fall day for an outing.”

Nick nodded. “I’m hoping this might cheer up Sarah. Can you have the basket ready by eleven? I’d like to show them that aspen grove out near Ohio Creek. This time in October, their turning leaves should be glorious.”

Emma smiled. “You’re a kind one to think of that sweet girl. It’s a sight more than Cord’s been doing these past couple of weeks. If I didn’t know better, I’d wager those two have had a falling-out.”

“More likely the opposite.” Nick chuckled. “But have no fear, Emma, my dear. That’ll be remedied soon enough. My brother just needs a little help recognizing what’s best for him.”

“Well, all I know is Sarah’s hurting real bad, with her father never sending word or money in all this time. What could possess a man to desert his family like that?”

He shrugged. “I truly don’t know. But then, there are many ways to turn your back on others, aren’t there?”

“Yes, I suppose there are. Still, it’s a shame and that’s all there is to it.” Emma straightened. “Your bed’s done. If you’ve nothing else for me right now, I’ll get started on that picnic lunch.”

“I’m fine, Emma. Please, go on.”

She turned to leave, then stopped. “Cord’s holed up in the library again with that infernal account ledger. How about I see if he’d like to go along? He could use some fresh air. Couldn’t help but sweeten his ill-temper of late.”

“No, I think not, at least not this time.” Nick stared out the window, a slight smile playing about his lips. “I’ve got other plans for my brother.”

Cord stared at the ranch ledger, reading the same line for the twentieth time. He’d made little progress in the past half hour. With a disgusted sound, he finally tossed the book aside. Leaning back in his chair, he propped his long legs on the desk.

He was royally sick of trying to find some way to squeeze money from the increasingly skeletal ranch budget. He closed his eyes to ease their burning.

A week ago, the prize bull had broken its leg and had to be put down, and already his father was making noises about buying another one. Problem was, none of the local ranchers were willing to sell him one on credit. News of the robbery and subsequent financial straits had gotten around the valley. It seemed only a matter of time now before they’d have to start selling off some of their herd just to make ends meet.

A heavy weariness settled over Cord. There were just too many concerns hammering at him of late. The ranch, his father, and, of course, the problem of Sarah. She seemed, sooner or later, to insinuate herself into all his thoughts until he was almost constantly thinking of her. Thinking of her while avoiding her at all costs.

Ever since that night in the library, he’d found himself increasingly unwilling to face the dilemma of what to do with her. How much longer could he continue to keep her and Danny prisoner? Yet, some of his earlier comments to the contrary, he knew he didn’t want to even contemplate the thought of her leaving.

The news that Gabe Cooper would be unavoidably detained in Denver, helping his mother set to rest all of his recently deceased father’s affairs, had bought Cord a little more time to come to terms with what he must do with Sarah. In the ensuing two weeks, however, he’d found himself no closer to a solution. He should’ve known there’d be no easy answers . . .

Try as he might, Cord couldn’t get Sarah out of his mind. He wondered how she’d been dealing with the realization that her father wouldn’t be returning the money or coming for her and Danny. He despised Jacob Caldwell most of all for that—choosing his ill-gotten gains over his own children. All Castle Mountain’s problems notwithstanding, could they possibly compare to the pain she was surely experiencing?

Rejection . . . Cord knew she must, at the very least, be feeling rejection at her father’s betrayal. That was an emotion he understood all too well. Did she feel a similar betrayal in his own actions of late, in his overt attempts to avoid her whenever possible?

At the consideration, guilt surged through him. Though he didn’t, in truth, owe her anything, Cord suddenly felt little better than Sarah’s own father.

Angrily, Cord swung his legs down from the desk. The ranch and its problems could go to blazes! He’d had all he could take of them. What really mattered, in this instant of white-hot clarity, was that he was a coward and had treated Sarah cruelly. He’d left her alone to bear her pain when he, of all people, should have understood what she was going through.

Further avoidance wasn’t fair to either of them. But what could he say? What did he really want? He didn’t want her to leave, that much he knew. But he also knew she’d been wrong when she said he was a good man. Most times, he didn’t feel all that good. But then, maybe he viewed life—and himself—too much through his father’s disapproving point of view.

Cord rose and strode from the library. This wasn’t about him or his perhaps overly critical self image right now, but about Sarah. Though his overtures might be rebuffed, he was going to at least try to talk with her about making some alternative plans for her and Danny’s future. It was long past time she see the reality of her situation, and do something about it.

“Emma,” Cord called to the older woman when he finally gave up trying to find Sarah in the house, and walked outside to where Emma worked at the clothesline, hanging wash out to dry. “Do you know where Sarah is?”

The housekeeper slowly turned, an auburn brow arching as she pulled two clothespins from between her teeth. “Sarah? And why on earth would you suddenly care? You’ve all but ignored that poor child of late.”

“Now, Emma,” he said, trying his most engaging smile on her, “it’s not as bad as all that. I’ve just been very busy—”

“That’s a bunch of hogwash, and you know it!” She advanced on him, her finger wagging in the air. “Save that for someone who doesn’t know you. Admit it. You’ve been selfish and thoughtless. At the very least, you owe Sarah an apology, and even then I’m not so sure she should accept it.”

Cord rolled his eyes and sighed. “Okay. Okay. I plead guilty. But I can’t beg her forgiveness if I can’t find her, can I? So, where is she?”

“Gone with Nicholas to the aspen meadow down by Ohio Creek. They’re having a picnic there.”

That bit of news stopped Cord in his tracks.
Sarah’s with Nicholas?

“Well, it seems my brother hasn’t broken stride in my absence,” he muttered, a flush creeping up his neck and face.

“And why should he?” Emma settled her hands on her hips and glared up at him. “Nick’s kind to that sweet girl, and if she hadn’t had him to visit these past two weeks, I don’t know what she’d have done. They’ve gotten very close. And it’s done the both of them a world of good.”

“Yes, I imagine it has,” Cord said dryly. He opened his mouth to make a snide comment about his brother’s way with the ladies, then snapped it shut. He frowned.

“What is it? What’s the matter, Cord?”

“Did you say the aspen meadow down by the creek?”

Emma nodded. “Yes. What’s wrong with that?”

“Cal Jenkins and Hank Spivey spotted a rogue grizzly roaming that area a few days back. Didn’t anyone tell Nick?”

Her eyes grew wide. “Well, I don’t know. I hadn’t even heard myself.”

“Blast!” Cord turned and ran off toward the barn. “That’s all I need—Nick and Sarah out there with some killer grizzly!”