A Heart Once Broken (31 page)

Lydia pulled the reins to the right and turned Timber into their driveway.
Mamm
and
Daett
's buggy wasn't in the barnyard, so they were still at church. Maybe
Daett
had received more comfort from the other men than she expected he would. Why else would
Daett
have stayed? Lydia's breath came sharply when she caught sight of an
Englisha
automobile behind the barn. Rudy's car. She would have recognized it anywhere. She had feared this moment, and now it had arrived.

Lydia parked beside the barn and unhitched Timber. As she led Timber to the barn, the car door opened and Rudy climbed out. Lydia waved to him but didn't stop walking. She would rather speak with Rudy inside the barn than outside, where anyone who passed by on the road could see them. And Rudy would have to leave before
Daett
came home, that was for sure.

Lydia had the stall door closed when Rudy's light step came up behind her. He greeted her with, “Lydia, I've been waiting for you.”

“You can't stay long,” Lydia said. “
Daett
can no longer have any of Emma and Rhoda's friends here.”

“But I'm
your
friend.” Rudy reached out to touch her arm. “Am I not?”

Lydia dropped her gaze. “All the more reason to leave quickly.”

“What's wrong?” Rudy asked. “You seem troubled.”

Lydia looked up at him. “I just came from visiting a friend who's quite ill. Now isn't a good time for you and me to speak.”

Rudy sobered. “I'm sorry to hear that. Will she be well soon?”

“It's in the Lord's hands,” Lydia said. “It doesn't look good.”

Rudy persisted. “We need to talk. About you and me.”

“Rudy, you know I have feelings for you. You are a temptation to me…but that's all you can ever be. Can't you see that? What we had was in the past.”

Rudy's gaze bore into her. His hands reached for hers and he pulled her close. “Is this in the past?” He gave her a gentle kiss and whispered in her ear, “Have you forgotten how good we were together? I was young and foolish back then, and I thought the world was full of girls like you. But I was very wrong, Lydia. There's only you.”

Lydia pulled away. “No, Rudy. We can't.” Her head was swimming from the kiss.

“But Lydia,” he insisted, “nothing has changed. That's what I'm trying to show you.”

Lydia took a breath. “Rudy, please. You have to go. Everything has changed. Everything!”

“Lydia, I said I'd wait, and I still will.” Rudy touched her face with his hand. “I'll go, but I'll be back. I'm not giving up on us.”

With that, Rudy turned and disappeared. Lydia waited until his car had left the driveway before she splashed her flaming cheeks with cold water from the horse's trough.

Before she could reach the house,
Mamm
and
Daett
's buggy
came down the lane. Lydia hurried on.
Daett
could unhitch the horse by himself. She wanted to wash her face once more before anyone saw her. Now that
Daett
had repented, she couldn't let him know Rudy had been anywhere near the farm. And if Deacon Schrock found out she had seen Rudy again, even involuntarily, his prescribed grace period for her would end at once. Of that she was certain.

Chapter Thirty

T
he following Sunday Clyde pulled his horse to a stop beside the barn on Johnson Road, where Sandra and Mark now lived. Sandra pushed open the buggy door and gingerly lowered herself to the ground. The cast had come off over two weeks ago, but she still had to take precautions and not overdo herself.

Tonight had been her first date with Clyde—a drive home from the hymn singing. And so far, to Sandra's amazement, it had gone well—with no uncomfortable moments or awkward silences between them.

Clyde tied his horse to the ring on the barn and teased, “I see you still know how to get down from a buggy unassisted.”

Sandra gave him a glare. “I didn't forget everything while I was stuck in my cast.”

Clyde came around the buggy to take Sandra's arm. “Still, I'm sure this isn't easy. Now come. Shall I walk you to the house?”

“In case I stumble and fall?” Sandra looked up at him.

Clyde didn't answer, but he grinned. She actually enjoyed his light banter, Sandra thought to herself as they walked toward the house. Was this the charm Amos had used to capture
Mamm
's heart? If so, she could see why
Mamm
had fallen for the man.

Sandra opened the front door, and Clyde waited while she lit the gas lantern. “Still looks the same,” Clyde quipped, once light flooded the living room.

“What did you expect?” she teased back. “That I would remodel the house to entertain you?”

They laughed together, until Clyde took Sandra's hand. “Sandra, I want to say I'm honored to be here, I really am. At times, I thought this day would never come.”

Sandra lowered her head. “Now you're making me nervous. Sit on the couch while I get some donuts and milk from the kitchen. You must be hungry.”

“My hunger flees far away when I'm with you,” Clyde said.

Sandra ignored Clyde and hurried into the kitchen, where she lit the kerosene lamp. She took the donuts from the cupboard and put several on a plate. Sandra balanced the plate and two glasses of milk on a tray and returned to the living room.

Clyde looked up with a gleam in his eyes. “What a treat! Now I do think I'm hungry.”

“Men are
always
hungry,” Sandra reminded him.

Clyde still had a smile on his face when the front door opened and Mark came in with his girlfriend Marie. Sandra jumped to her feet. “Oh, I forgot that you two were coming! I was so caught up in the evening. How stupid of me! Clyde and I can go upstairs so the two of you can have the living room. There are still plenty of donuts in the kitchen.”

“Whoa,” Mark said. “Not so fast. I'm fine with going upstairs.”

“No, you're not.” Sandra stood her ground. “You're already going out of your way to help me, Mark. I can entertain Clyde in my room. Marie will be more comfortable in the living room of a strange house.”

Clyde spoke up. “Do I have any say in this?”

“No, you don't.” Sandra tugged on his hand and motioned with the other. “Grab the plate and I'll bring the kerosene lamp from the kitchen. There's another one in the washroom you can use, Mark.” She hurried Clyde up the stairs. “I'm sorry for not mentioning anything on the way home about Mark and Marie, but I forgot.”

“It's okay,” Clyde answered.

“Thanks for understanding.” Sandra opened the bedroom door. “There. We'll have to make do with my room, I'm afraid.”

“I'm being given a smaller and smaller place in the house as the evening progresses, I see,” Clyde teased.

Sandra ignored him and placed the lamp on the dresser. She pointed toward the chair. “You can sit there. I'll take the bed.”

Clyde set the plate he had carried beside his chair, then took a donut. “It's nice up here…but next Sunday night, I'll take you home to our place.”

Sandra nodded. Clyde sounded like his
daett
now, decisive and firm. He hadn't asked whether she would go home with him again, but Clyde presumed he knew the answer.

“You should have consulted me or your
mamm
about tonight,” Clyde continued. “Mark has your best interest in mind, but he doesn't always think things through. It's not that I don't like this—being up here—but if the community found out that we had a practice of dating in your bedroom, that could be just as indecent as being alone in the house together.”

“I'm sorry,” Sandra said. “I guess I should have asked
Mamm
, but I didn't. I was…”

“It's okay,” Clyde said with a smile. “We won't stay up here long. I can't stay late anyway. Next time we'll take care of this the proper way. And I must say, I'm glad to see you accept correction so well. That's important in a
frau
. I'm also glad to see that you're heeding
Daett
's request to stay away from your cousin Lydia. I know that's
difficult and that Ben made his confession in church, but until his time of proving is over, you should follow
Daett
's decision.”

“I agree,” Sandra said. “I only spoke to Lydia at the service this morning. I couldn't make it to the youth gathering last week, so I don't know what happened there.” Sandra tried to sound cheerful. “Did you go ice-skating with the others?”

Clyde smiled. “I went, and I missed you. But you should try to come whenever possible now that your cast is off. We don't have too much time together before…” Clyde looked away and let the sentence hang.

Sandra felt the heat rise up her neck. Apparently a girl blushed even if she wasn't in love. At least she didn't feel a stab of fear or panic.
Yah
, Clyde was bossy like his
daett
, but he also had a gentle side.

“You will see more of me after tonight, won't you?” Clyde asked. He stood up to pace the floor.

Sandra nodded. “If you wish.”

“I wish it very much,” Clyde answered. He stopped pacing to sit down again. “I have admired you ever since we moved here, Sandra. Even before
Daett
asked your
mamm
to marry him, I prayed that the Lord would open your heart to me, as mine had been opened to you.”

“You did?” Sandra's voice croaked.

Clyde remained sober-faced. “I know that dreams sometimes are of our own doing, so I wasn't sure if my heart had strayed, or if this was from the Lord. But I knew I had feelings for you, Sandra. The Lord has since seen fit to bless those feelings. All signs point in that direction. The biggest one is the change in your heart. You have allowed me to bring you home.”

“
Yah
,” Sandra admitted, looking downward.

“You will wed me, then?” Clyde asked. He reached over to lift Sandra's chin with his hand.

Sandra met his gaze. With only a moment's hesitation, she said, “I will if you wish it so.”

His fingers tightened for a moment. “You know I do.” Clyde stood to pace the floor again. “If you agree, I want the wedding date set quickly. Perhaps you could speak to your
mamm
and see how soon it can happen.”

“Before the next wedding season?” Sandra's voice squeaked.

His smile was kind. “Surely you don't expect us to wait all that time?”

Sandra gathered herself together. “I guess, not really. I mean,
yah
, I agree, but it is kind of sudden.”

His eyes met hers. “We're in extraordinary circumstances, and the community will understand.” He came closer and sat in the chair in front of her.

Sandra reached out to take his hands in hers. “I have to be honest. I don't think I love you yet, Clyde. But I can live with that, if you can. Love will come when the Lord grants it, just as it did for
Mamm.
I only ask that you love me, and that you lead our home in the ways of the Lord. I don't have any desire to follow my cousin Lydia in her flirtations with the world.”

Clyde's eyes moistened. “What can I say, Sandra? You are…”

“Don't say anything,” Sandra whispered. “It's
goot
enough the way it is.”

His hand reached over to play with a strand of her hair that hung loose from under her
kapp
. “You're an angel, Sandra. You must have come straight from heaven to walk with me in this world. How can I ever say I love you often enough?”

“You just need to take it slowly,” she said. “My heart needs time to catch up.”

Clyde's Adam's apple bobbed as he said, “
Yah
, of course. I will always love you, Sandra. You can rest assured of that.”

“And I will be the best
frau
I can be,” Sandra said through moist eyes. “But you must also understand me.”